About these ads

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

About these ads

Posted on December 26, 2012, in $MONEY$, cock blockade, dozens of upvotes, evil women, evo psych fairy tales, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, paranoia, playing the victim, precious bodily fluids, reddit, spermjacking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 830 Comments.

  1. That was just an excuse to look up NAUGHTYWORDS!

    Actually I think penises is what’s used here, too. Not that I can recall the last time I heard it in conversation. :/

  2. Dumbass, all that study shows is that female college students consider risk and reward while men don’t have to. Misogyny in action.

    http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/gender-differences-and-casual-sex-the-new-research/

  3. Argenti Aertheri

    Penises is certainly acceptable, yes. I’m just pedantic about Latin :)

  4. Argenti Aertheri

    But…but…you declined eo without imploding!

  5. And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!

  6. Maybe we should replace the term “grammar Nazis” with “grammar centurions.”

  7. If there was not asymmetry, hookers wouldn’t exist.

    Frankly, I’m shocked that someone so brilliant he invented algebra at the age of 10 could say something so mind-bogglingly stupid.

  8. Did he just claim to invent algebra because he thinks learning algebra the regular way is cheating?

  9. LOL I think he was just trying to tell us what a genius he is. Which makes me wonder why he hasn’t been trumpeting his success with the Voynich Manuscript yet. Pehaps his mighty brain went into reverse once he hit his teens.

  10. I called him stupid once and he went off about how he discovered the concept of variables and became a certified genius while blackout drunk.

    I said it then and I’ll say it now: Anyone as smart as Diogenes claims to be would’ve realized that making these claims made him appear more pathetic, not less.

  11. Kitteh’s: he did say he had emailed some websites about the manuscript. That’s what’s passes for research in his world.

  12. Hellkell – and I wonder how he can live with his INTELLECTUAL DISHONESTY in doing it!

    Gametime – anyone as smart as Dingleberry Dumbass claims to be wouldn’t be making any of his claims in the first place. :D

  13. Well, he also thinks that if he fails to prove the Voynich Manuscript is music, than he has proven that it is NOT music which is just … wut? And also apparently anyone who isn’t a monotheist (e.g. “sheiks” [sic]) is an atheist.

    At least I think that’s what he said. I would go back and check, but that would be cheating. XD

  14. Argenti Aertheri

    “And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!”

    My Latin 2 & 3 teacher had a stick she’d hit the board with, we were supposed to rattle off the declensions as she tapped them out. Having been hit as a kid, I was just plain scared…hated that woman. By MRA standards she’d be screaming misogyny huh?

    As for Diogenes, doesn’t he get that he just sounds like he’s having a case of Dunning-Kruger.

  15. Gah, that’s nasty. Teachers and sticks … I had a typing teacher who liked to smack your knuckles with a ruler if you looked at the keyboard. (This was in ancient times – using actual typewriters.)

    Dunning-Kruger describes Dingleberry Dumbasdogshit perfectly.

  16. I have to say that my sense of propriety means that 1: having learnt penes is correct (no matter what Firefox thinks) and 2: that hemi-penises looks horrible, causes me to use penes

  17. Hemi-penises?

    This is starting to sound like an Owly nightmare. :P

  18. Kittehs: Snakes have “hemi-penes” and opppossums have bifircate penes.

    We won’t even talk about insects, or spiders.

  19. Damn. Opossums and bifurcate.

  20. the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming

    No it’s not. Men manage to suppress that urge just fine in situations where they know that not doing so might have negative consequences.

    I mean, if you want to see yourself as a mindless creature controlled by your sexual urges then go ahead, but don’t be surprised when other men object to being seen the same way, or when you seeing yourself that way results in women not wanting to be around you.

  21. the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming

    I’ve not found this to be the case. I have even been known to not ogle exposed cleavage. There are any number of beautiful, interesting, attractive (to me, at least) women in the world whom I have, for lack of a sense of interest/suitability of circumstance, managed to not try to talk out of their clothes.

    This is because I am grown up.

  22. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    If men in general behaved the way these morons act, we’d see guys wandering around with erections, marching up to women and demanding sex all the time, or attacking them. Now that sort of thing does happen, but it is sexual harassment or assault, not normal behaviour. I’ve rarely seen any man ogling a woman on the train (and I’ve travelled on public transport in a city of millions all my life), let alone outright harassment or worse. There is a limit, in that I’m commuting, not travelling at night when there is a lot more of that sort of thing – drunks and louts who are just as likely to attack other men as women. But that’s the thing, I’m observing everyday behaviour from people who are just going about their business. Heavens, sometimes there are even men and women talking to each other! And laughing! And enjoying each other’s company! Some of the women are even pretty and wearing lightweight summer clothes! Even worse from the MRM point of view, some of the women are not conventionally pretty! How does one account for all this?

    Oh yeah, because men and women aren’t the fuck machines these losers like to pretend they are.

  23. Argenti Aertheri

    “We won’t even talk about … spiders.” — no, no we won’t, thank you (and good day to you sir)

  24. Diogenes is singing this song, but he’s changed it from “and I don’t work for nobody but you” to “and I work for anyone with a vagina”.

  25. Diogenes The Cynic

    Some strange and bizarre statements being made here. For one, my assertion is hardly misogynistic. If anything, its a bit demeaning to men. Gametime said another strange thing. If sex wasn’t something some people want more than others, then why do hookers exist? Why are they mostly female? Even the male ones usually work for men. You don’t see supply and demand in action here?

    Dr. Drew said it best when he says that “young men are on drugs.” We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

    Cassandra, what kind of women are we talking about here? Not all women are like you. I asked a female friend once why there were women in my gym who did their hair before they went to work out. She said that “women would die if we didn’t have men staring at us all the time. Yes, we’re freezing in those clothes.”

    The Kitteh, you’re projecting again. Read what I said, and not into it as you think I mean it.

    pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?

  26. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

    Diogenes has a bad case of “if I don’t want to imagine you having sex, then you must never get horny.”

  27. Now he’s not even trying to respond to the things that people are actually saying. I’ve said this before but apparently it needs repeating – either be more interesting or go away, Frothy.

  28. Also, freezing while working out? Frothy’s imaginary friends are as lazy as he is.

  29. Argenti Aertheri

    “Also, freezing while working out?”

    I’ll attest that even ice skating isn’t cold if you’re actually skating.

    “The Kitteh, you’re projecting again.”

    ….said Steele, repeatedly. Can we get a Mr. Al check?

  30. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    So, Mr Dumbass, Reductionist, you think that asexual guys don’t exist? Or that every young man has some default level of horniness, and an apparent inability to think above the waist? Or that women’s default setting is to want men ogling them? Nice way of writing off gay or asexual women or just those heterosexual women who don’t care for being gawped at, or don’t give a shit for the opinion of random dudes. You’re very fond of claiming other people here are projecting, but what the fuck do you think you’re doing with your latest stupid statements?

    If you’re just another one of Mr Al’s socks, piss off. You’ve won your trophy. Sock or not, you’re even more boring than Abnoy. Go back to wanking about your imaginary gym buddies.

  31. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Yeah, I’m thinking it’s time to check that, too, Argenti. The whiff of smelly socks is getting much stronger.

  32. Do we have any trolls left that aren’t Mr Al other than the FeMRAs?

  33. Diogenes The Cynic

    katz

    Way to totally miss the point.

    Its not rocket science. You can make someone more aggressive by injecting them with steroids. Or more placid with oxycontin. Drugs change people.

  34. Diogenes The Cynic

    Cassandra,

    Do you never go out and meet people? I mean people from different social groups than the narrow one you seem to live in?

    I asked her why in my college gym, so many of the girls did their hair, barely worked out, and wore extremely skimpy clothes. That was the answer. Maybe you’ve never been to a bunch of different gyms, but its not that uncommon. I have had gym memberships everywhere I’ve lived, and in places where the women are more likely to be married, they didn’t do that. Maybe this doesn’t fit in with your view of how the world should be, but it is the actual experience I have had.

    (but when its something you don’t want to hear, its pretend, huh?)

  35. Go away, child, and take your idiotic ideas about women with you.

  36. Diogenes The Cynic

    The Kitteh

    Are you being deliberately obtuse? Scroll up to see where I address guys with low desire, and gay guys.

    Some women want to be ogled, and they dress in a way that will get them ogled. It isn’t a blanket universal statement, but its generally true.

  37. Argenti Aertheri

    “Do we have any trolls left that aren’t Mr Al other than the FeMRAs?”

    Pell, NWO, DKM, and probably ABNOY, but I’m not sure I’d put money on any of them (NWO maybe, his anger seemed too…pure…to fake)

  38. NWO is never here any more, though. Shame, he was much more fun to argue with than the current many variations on the theme “I am a dumb, self-centered young man who thinks that the world should revolve around my cock”.

  39. Argenti Aertheri

    I know, his bad math was fun to pick at. DKM’s gone too huh? Leaves us with the rare Pell Incident and abnoying.

  40. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Way to go about claiming people don’t read all your walls of text, O boring one. You’re not exactly noted for reading, let alone comprehending, anything anyone else posts. You’re sounding more and more like Steele. Got any spare semicolons lying around, or did you use ‘em all up, Mr Al?

  41. Argenti Aertheri

    “Got any spare semicolons lying around…”

    I have a few for Diogenes the Dull — >.<;;;; (please let the Unicode work!)

  42. Argenti Aertheri

    “pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?”

    Inquiring minds demand to know? I believe Diogenes the Dull is implying that 1) you’re too old to be a horny young man and 2) that you were a horny young man in your young days, and, of course, 3) that you had no sense of decency before you hit some arbitrary age. (Hey Diogenes? My 50+ year old father still hasn’t hit that age.)

  43. thenatfantastic

    I don’t know whether my mind is reeling at the assertion that a) the reason my partner isn’t a misogynist sex pest is because he’s vegan and therefore ‘feminised’, or b) all vegans only get protein through soy. Apparently beans, lentils, beansprouts, nuts, seeds and chickpeas don’t exist on Planet Dumbfuck. I can’t even remember the last time we ate soy, it’s got to be at least a month ago.

  44. thenatfantastic

    *reeling MORE at

  45. Surely you don’t expect someone like Abnoy to be able to cook?

  46. Or wait, was it Frothy that time? They’re starting to blend into a solid mass of dumb, sexist perpetual adolescent in my memory

  47. thenatfantastic

    It was Diogenes:

    We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

    WELL YEAH IF YOU DISCOUNT ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO DON’T FIT MY IDEA FOR REASONS I HAVE YET TO FATHOM, AND IGNORE THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS WHO JUST PLAIN DON’T DO WHAT I AM SAYING, THIS IS ALWAYS THE CASE.

  48. Shit, my partner of the last 21years who plays rugby, eats meat and respects women must be about to cancel himself in a puff of logic.

  49. Hey Diogenes, you’re aware that your one friend doesn’t speak for all women, right? Maybe she thrives on male attention, but there are any number of reasons a woman might try to look pretty at the gym. Like maybe we’re feeling the ubiquitous cultural pressure for women to be attractive to men at all times. Maybe we’ve had one too many men try to mock or belittle her for not being attractive enough. Maybe we’re bombarded at every turn by ads for cosmetics, diets, and miracle medical treatments, ads which want us to believe that our primary – or only – value to society is the degree to which men find us appealing. Hell, even “women would die without male attention” could be what happens when someone internalizes those messages.

    Or the one opinion of your one friend could be what all women are secretly thinking. I suppose that’s possible.

  50. Diogenes: If sex wasn’t something some people want more than others, then why do hookers exist?

    For someone who claims to be so very intelligent this is a pretty simplistic way to look at things. The reasons for prostitution are complicated, and will probably never be completely explained.

    But “wanting sex more than others” isn’t it.

    If you look at the history of things, women have been; for much of time, in most of the world, sequestered in some way. Men have restricted the ability of women to have free sexual agency. This, not some vast difference in desire between the sexes, is the probable reason for the origins of prostitution.

    Once created it could not but persist. In the present the driving forces include things like a desire to not have to see the woman as a person, but sex as a commodity. You pay her, she fucks you. This is something a lot of guys (not just the MRM) have taken as the model for male/female interaction. They just reduce it to drinks, or dinner.

    Dr. Drew said it best when he says that “young men are on drugs.” We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is.

    Bullshit. Young people are all carbonating hormones. The boys aren’t getting any significantly different rushes than the girls. They are just told (by people like you, and Dr. Drew) that the boys are allowed to act on it, and if a girl does, it’s because she some shameless hussy. Once again the culture is giving license to males to act like beasts, and punishing the girls for acting like people.

    I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

    yeah, those Chinese/Japanese buddhists never fuck. It’s why the population in China and Japan have always been so small.

    pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?

    Are you kidding? This is your devastating retort? Your logical destruction of my comment? I wonder how proud Mensa is of knowing you are so smart you can pass the test drunk.

    I talked to her. Discussed the things in which I was interested. I talked about think she was interested in. I tried to find a sense of common interest. T Sometimes we went out and tried to see if there was a common spark.

    What I didn’t do was put pussy on the pedestal of primary need you are saying is the “the way it is”. Hell, twenty years ago I was working at a Hollywood studio, I saw LOTS of really attractive women, women who weren’t interested in me (I was, by and large, part of, “the help”, unless you worked in post, or distribution).

    But even five-ten years before that (late adolescence/college), I didn’t do this, “slavering after sex” shit you are on about. Maybe I was in a culture where sex was more freely available (I doubt it, this was the ’80s to ’90s, and herpes, then AIDS were changing the landscape of casual sex), but I never really worried about getting laid. Not to the point that I was a monomaniac about it. Hell, if I told you I had a woman I was interested in, and we showered together; because we needed someone to scrub but I didn’t make a move on her, because that would have been rude, well I doubt you’d believe me.

    If I told you there was another woman I was interested in; who was interested in me (and we were both too young and obtuse to make it plain to the other) and we showered together (for those same reasons) and I didn’t put the moves on her, you’d really not believe it.

    If I told you I was still in my teens for those occasions, well your head might explode.

    I don’t think I think about sex any less now than I used to, either. I did, however, come to realise that if I wanted it, I could find it; which did change the focus, some, but in the opposite direction. I came to the understanding that if I were interested in a woman, being a bit more direct was in both our best interests. So, if anything, I am more like you describe teenagers now, than I was as a teen. I fear rejection less (which would have helped with the second woman I mentioned above).

    Do you never go out and meet people? I mean people from different social groups than the narrow one you seem to live in?

    What makes you assume she has a narrow set of acquaintance? That she has a group which share some philosophical ideas doesn’t make it a narrow monolith.Kook at observant Jews. I know a lot of really liberal Orthodox Jews. I know some observant Conservative Jews who are Poly, I know some pretty conservative Jews too… so if all my friends were Jews, would that make it a “narrow” social group?

    No.

    (but when its something you don’t want to hear, its pretend, huh?)

    Dude, chill. It wouldn’t hurt you to get some evidence, instead of pulling just so stories out of your confirmation biased ass, esp. if you don’t want people to keep handing it to you.

    Are you being deliberately obtuse? Scroll up to see where I address guys with low desire, and gay guys.

    Could you point that out to me, because I missed it. I did see you implying a cause you didn’t support, but supporting the claim, with evidence… not so much.

  51. Some strange and bizarre statements being made here. For one, my assertion is hardly misogynistic. If anything, its a bit demeaning to men.

    That’s what I said, doofus. Learn to read.

    Don’t call others obtuse fucknut, you just embarrass yourself. Which come to think of it, that and being called out on your stupidity must be your kink, because you keep doing it.

  52. Mr All, if you’re playing Frothy as your latest gig, could you change the script? He needs some character development. The pompous teenager schtick was never interesting to begin with, and it’s going nowhere. I mean, you used up all the material in that with the Mr Al persona anyway, it’s just a dead-end now. C’mon man, develop those writing skills!

  53. MRA’s realise that having a child costs the woman money too, right? Sure, the father has to pay child support but its not going to be enough for them both to live on, and not in the life of luxury they seem to be imagining.
    Also, what the hell is sperm theft?

  54. what the hell is sperm theft?

    You know, women sneaking used condoms out of the trash to impregnate themselves, that sort of thing. MRA-ish radio personality Tom Leykis tells all men to carry hot sauce with them so they can put some in their used condoms so, I guess, if the woman tries to sperm burgle him she’ll end up screaming in pain so he’ll know? I’m not sure exactly what the hot sauce is supposed to do, actually. But if you ever discover hot sauce in a date’s pants pocket you might want to quickly make your escape.

    By the way, the preferred terms are “spermjacking” and “sperm burgling.”

  55. Oh, Meg, have you never seen an American daytime soap? Obviously, sperm theft or spermjacking is stealing a used condom & using the sperm it contains (& possibly a turkey baster) to impregnate oneself. Then, once the baby is born, one can extort $$$s in child support from the unwitting father and spend the rest of one’s life in luxury eating bonbons while the unwitting father lives in poverty. Happens all the time (in MRA fantasy land).

  56. Damn, ninja’d by the Dark Lord.

  57. Hey, think of the honour, titianblue! It’s not everyone who gets ninjaed by the Dark Lord himself.

  58. so, I guess, if the woman tries to sperm burgle him she’ll end up screaming in pain so he’ll know? I’m not sure exactly what the hot sauce is supposed to do, actually.

    You’re a bit more optimistic than I am. I assumed the point of the hot sauce was just to punish her.

    Or maybe it’s supposed to kill the sperm? IDK.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,926 other followers

%d bloggers like this: