MGTOWer: “Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good.”
Like women, cats are sneaky creatures, up to no good.
So over on MGTOWforums, the regulars are pondering the age-old question – should these committed women-avoiders deal with their continued desire to stick their penises in the women they’re allegedly avoiding by resorting to prostitutes?
In the midst of a lively discussion on the advantages of “going pro” over trying to pick up a “bar hog,” one regular by the nom de internet Xtc sets forth some thoughts that, for a moment at least, seem to transcend the usual MGTOW crudity and bitterness.
“I don’t think it’s really about sex,” he writes. “I think what a lot of people are looking for is love, respect, and intimacy – which you can’t buy.”
Why, that almost seems like an insight!
Alas, in his very next sentence he spoils the moment by returning to the standard MGTOW narrative of female perfidy:
I think what put me off women altogether was the realisation that you’ll NEVER get [love, respect, and intimacy] for real. It’s sad and sobering, but that’s the way it is.
Thinking that the attention of women validates you as a person collapses once you realise they are attracted to the worst qualities in the worst men.
Thinking that the attention of women equals affection, intimacy, or love – collapses once you realise they will leave you in a second if they sense any weakness or if a BBD [bigger better deal] comes along. Then you’ll realise that the meter was running all the time, whether this was clear at the time or not.
Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good. Once you realise it’s a quack remedy, and the whole thing is a scam, you’re free to spit it out and never partake again.
That leaves you with sex alone, which is really rather easy to come by.
If women really and truly are “attracted to the worst qualities of the worst men,” why aren’t they lining up at these dudes’ front doors?
Posted on November 28, 2012, in $MONEY$, alpha males, evil women, hypergamy, men who should not ever be with women ever, MGTOW, MGTOW paradox, misogyny, sex and tagged mgtow, misogyny. Bookmark the permalink. 1,159 Comments.
Am I the only one who took Bob’s “heart of a Lion” bit of hyperbole, added it to the various quotes from fundie preachers, and came up with “so Bob thinks we think he used to be engaged to Aslan”?
Bob:
so take some time off! learn to play the trumpet or join an ultimate frisbee league or re-read the Harry Potter books or perfect your chili recipe. There’s no rush to start dating again if you don’t want to. it’s a big world: there are friends to make and foods to eat and, I don’t know, snow angels to make. you have all the time in the world to heal your heart. but wishing things had worked out differently or wishing you understood your breakup or getting cranky about “the state of relationships in society” aren’t going to help you heal and aren’t going to help you grow as a person.
“so Bob thinks we think he used to be engaged to Aslan”?
oh my goodness THINK OF ALL THE FUNNY JOKES
“Then Hwin, though shaking all over, gave a strange little neigh and trotted across to the Lion.
“Please,” she said, “you’re so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I’d sooner be eaten by you than fed by anyone else.” (Horse and His Boy)
so sorry! how does one do block quotes?
Bob still wants us to say “oh my gosh you were the best boyfriend ever and that skank is such a skanky ho for doing such a shitty thing. We should go egg her house or something! And this totally proves all women are evil biaches!”
Dude, that is what your meatspace friends would say. Go get some. (They would be wrong but hey, friends generally do not give you the hard truth the day after a traumatic break up. That would be us.)
Hi Kitty Snide!
Blockquotes are the greater and lesser than symbols with blockquote, quote, then /blockquote to close.
We all fuck it up, so don’t sweat it if it doesn’t work.
(blockquote) (/blockquote)
But replace ( with <
OMG engaged to Aslan, that is such a cool image … Lucy might get a bit jealous, though.
Last Wednesday at 5 PM EST. There was a memo-did you miss it?
This is what happens when I forget to check my text messages.
But wimminz are not supposed to have feelings! Unless they are OMGMARRIAGEMARRIAGEMARRIAGE! Unless the guyz don’t want them to want to be married, ‘cos then it’s manipulative and spermjacking!
ooh let me try
Aslan engagement!
ROFLMAO!
you could tell Bob’s whole “saga” with Aslan quotes…
There is the classic abuser, right there. It is her fault that she fell for the nice guy scam that I had going. It is her fault that she stayed on thinking I would eventually stop dismissing her and disregarding her. It is her fault that she gave up when she couldn’t stand another day of it. It came right out of the blue. No warning at all.
If you read back through this thread you will see exactly why people get fed up trying to reason with you. Goodbye Bob.
Welcome aboard, KittySnide! I can tell you’re going to fit right in.
RE: Bob
You missed the most important part of my comment which is: sometimes, you don’t get to know. You don’t get to know whether it was ‘that bad’ or not. You don’t get to know why. Life isn’t a book where everything gets explained at the end. You. Don’t get. To know. That’s a part of life. Dealing with that is on you.
RE: KittySnyde
Yeah. I guess I’ve never understood the concept of closure, since I’ve never actually seen one of those perfect closers in real life where everyone walks away satisfied. To quote the Princess Bride:
“I must know!”
“Get used to disappointment.”
“Okay.”
(Welcome, by the way.)
Also, oh my god, guys. I have never read Narnia, and now I never will be able to without hearing bad seventies porn beats in the background. YOU GUYS ARE SUCH JERKS.
“There is the classic abuser, right there. It is her fault that she fell for the nice guy scam that I had going. It is her fault that she stayed on thinking I would eventually stop dismissing her and disregarding her. It is her fault that she gave up when she couldn’t stand another day of it. It came right out of the blue. No warning at all.”
You’re pathetic and you just don’t get it. You assume I wasn’t genuine with her because…? You actually can’t enumerate that so you just engage in projection. In your world apparently, being kind and sensitive and trying to love someone to the best of your ability equates to lack of sincerity and trying to manipulate somebody with “niceness.” You weren’t there to observe our day to day dynamic but everything I did had an ulterior hidden agenda and wasn’t genuine and sincere. I must not have genuinely loved her but treated her as a sex and companion machine that would spend time with me and sex me up if I inserted enough Nice coins into it. I apparently abused her because I…listened to what she had to say, enjoyed her company and the give and take of two people trying to make a life together. In MRA world, it’s always the woman’s fault. In your world, any guy that got dumped is a classic Nice Guy manipulator that never says or does anything kind unless there’s something in it for him. What did I disregard? What problems and concerns did she bring to my attention that I refused to address and refused to listen to? You just don’t get it.
Seriously Bob, no sarcasm — get therapy.
*faceplam*
You don’t want us judging your relationship? Well gosh, I guess it’s about time you stopped posting about it. We obviously aren’t telling you what you want to hear.
(Turns around and faces all the man boobz regulars)
Does anyone else need a drink?
Gonna have to second (third, fourth, whatever) the therapy recommendation.
Anyone else starting to think that Bob should be banned for his own good? I don’t really want to snark someone who so clearly needs help.
Oh, for the love of fuck, not another therapy troll.
@ Hellkell
Yep. Maybe if he runs out of places to go looking for ways to justify why OBVIOUSLY HE DID NOTHING WRONG IT’S JUST THAT WOMEN ARE EVIL, SEE HOW EVIL THEY’RE BEING TO ME NOW he’ll actually go get some damn therapy.
Yeah, I’m thinking banning would be the best thing. This is just going round in circles.
Bob – GET THERAPY.
If he goes on another thread and tries to turn it into round two of the Bob Pity Party I’m all for banning him.
RE: Bob
Go. Just… GO. You came HERE. Please, get thee to a proper environment to discuss this, which isn’t here, and GO.
Seriously, guys, I think there should be a rule that if you’re trying to therapy a troll for over a page, give up.
Shiraz: I would love a drink. Scotch, neat. “What About Bob” calls for strong medicine.
Okay, I’m going to be genuinely nice, nicer than Bob really warrants, for a minute.
Bob, I’ve been burned, too. I’m not a big one for comparing pain or going into details, but I have literal, physical scars, not just the heartbreak kind of scars (though I have those too) from things one of my exes did to me. He was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. That should be enough to explain why I very definitely understand the concept of relationships being a frightening prospect, probably better than you yourself do.
So I get that. I sympathize with that. But the thing is, there are two ways to deal with having been hurt by someone. You can do what you’re doing now, and wallow in anger and self-pity. It’s tempting, and it’s pretty normal for at least a short time after being hurt by someone, and I don’t blame you for indulging in it for a while. The problem comes when you choose to indulge in it forever, because you will never be anything but miserable and bitter that way. The better way to deal is to actually try to heal. It doesn’t mean you never feel angry or hurt – you’ll probably always feel a little angry and hurt when you think of your ex. It means you let the wounds form scar tissue and move forward.
You know what I did after I finally got away from my ex? I went to therapy. I didn’t try to date, I didn’t try to feel secure around other people, because I knew I wouldn’t for a while, and that wasn’t my fault or their fault, just the way things were going to be. I didn’t try to do anything except get better, get stronger, get less afraid, get more secure in myself and my own ability to cope with bad things. I didn’t try to find a perfect relationship in which I would never feel scared. I tried to get to where, if something scary happened, I was equipped to deal with it. And a few years later, when I was stronger and more secure in myself and met a guy who seemed like he’d be pretty nifty, I started a relationship with both eyes open and both feet ready to run if I needed to. It’s been nearly five years now, and I haven’t needed to run yet, because – as I knew all along – most people aren’t looking to abuse me, just like most people aren’t looking to break your heart. Some days I’m still scared, because I don’t know the future or the inside of people’s heads, and therefore I can’t ever be 100% sure my partner won’t suddenly transform into an abusive monster (or leave me, or cheat on me, or drop dead, or any of the other ways things could go terribly wrong), but I deal with that not by panicking over the inherent uncertainty of life but by making sure that, if ever bad things happen, I’m ready to take care of me. Life is still scary. It always will be. That’s what makes it life – if we already knew how it all would go, if there was never any risk of things going horribly, painfully wrong, what would be the point?
The problem you have right now isn’t women, or stupid op-ed writers, or even your ex. The problem you have right now is that you are, as you say yourself, paranoid, insecure, and frightened. Getting angry at op-eds won’t fix those things. Yelling at feminists about how your ex should not have been able to change her mind won’t fix those things. And no magical new relationship will fix those things. YOU need to work on YOU, and that takes time and commitment and very possibly help from a nice therapist. For your own sake, please get off this site – and most especially, get off manosphere sites, because wallowing in bitterness is pretty much their raison d’etre – go find a cool therapist, and start working on you.
I am far too nice for my own good. (Either that, or I’m looking for pretty much any excuse to procrastinate on the big pile of irritating work I have to do tonight…)
Um yeah. Mr. David? What do you think?
I seriously do not understand people like Bob. I don’t go into MRA sites wanting them to baby me and coddle my little feelings and persuade me to not be a dick to them. And even if I did, they’d run me out on a splintery rail. What the hell?
Mansplaining why we’re all wrong seems to be a part of it.
You got it, hellkell. (pours drink) Cheers. Anyone else need a stiff one after being used as a free therapy circle — and nothing to show for it? Oh shit, you know what that means? Bob Friend Zoned us!
/sarcasm
Well, if you’re offering then I’d love a martini.
(Vodka rather than gin, please.)
I’ll have a drop of brandy in my tea if you’re offering, Shiraz.
Or should that be a drop of tea in my brandy?
OMG women are so picky! If women had less option like in the old days they would just accept the drinks that they were given and be grateful!
Aw. I can’t drink. :(
*nurses water*
OH SHIT SHIRAZ YOU’RE RIGHT!!!!
And it’s not like he’s dating anyone else and did you hear about all his good qualities? He’s a total HB (hot bob).
I’m a vodka fan myself, Cassandra. And Kitteh, how about a shot of tea in your brandy.
And somebody explain why these guys keep coming here to yell at us? Nevermind, I know….its a page or two back.
::glug::
Pity pot boys never go to therapy because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM. He has said it a kazillion times. Why won’t anyone believe him?
I’ll have a hot toddy if you please. I could use some warm comfort after wading through all those red flags.
No worries LBT, virtual drinkies never fry your liver.
I have maple whiskey I got from a friend’s wedding, happy to share! *pours extra glasses*
Y’know, there’s one thing we can be grateful for. We don’t have to listen to Bob. Can you imagine being one of his workmates if he vents like this?
Maple whiskey sounds interesting (I don’t drink in real life – tried it and didn’t like it). Is it sweetish?
The drinks are all on me, and yeah LBT, virtual alcohol doesn’t count. ;)
Oh hell yeah, heidihi, he did Friend Zone us. Damn, I feel used. And all he did was talk about another women. What about us, huh? What about our needs?!
/sarcasm
I was thinking what it must have been like for the ex when someone failed to live up to pity pot boys unrealistic expectations.
“So, Bob, did you do anything fun over the weekend.”
“No, because that evil woman who I used to be engaged to broke my heart, and now my life is full of despair. I spent all weekend composing ranty emails to her and not sending them, and when I needed a break I went and found some other women and tried to nag them into agreeing that women are fickle and heartless.”
“Um, OK. I meant more like, did you get the chance to watch the big game?”
Shiraz, i think it’s because we spent too much time listening to his feelings. Now HB thinks we’re all betas. Or manginas? White knights? Something.
/attempt at PUA lingo :D THANKFULLY.
It tastes like sweet whiskey with a maple-y aftertaste, not exactly like drinking maple syrup (which I’ve done, I’ll admit… O Canada…) but it is kind of similar! it still tastes like whiskey and is a sipping bev, gulping not recommended, but it’s quite delicious!
::scamper:: My booze-dar is going off! :O
Maybe if Steele comes back before he’s gotten enough rest we can just show him Bob as a kind of a warning?
::snigger::
::hic::
damn this virtual brandy’s powerful stuff
Thanks for the drink, Shiraz, cheers, we needed it. :)
How on earth did that go into moderation??? Oh, wait, I know – the spelling. Try again:
::snicker::
::hick::
damn this virtual brandy’s powerful stuff
I suppose I shall have a mythical beer that doesn’t taste like piss. That or Bailey’s and milk, which is pretty much the only thing I’ve ever not hated with alcohol in it.
Let us continue on our party and forget Bob ever happened, eh?
Works for me. I’ve got mead (regular and blackberry) if anyone would like some.
Mulled wine, now that I could drink again. And it’s turned chilly enough today that it wouldn’t be at all bad.
Cheers back, everyone.
I’m absolutely certain a hardcopy of this thread would be a nice jumping off point for a sociology/ gender study. I think. *hiccup*
Since the link someone posted earlier didn’t work, I’m going to try again. Oh hey there, incredibly relevant Captain Awkward thread!
http://captainawkward.com/2012/12/03/401-i-cant-tell-whether-my-girlfriend-wants-to-have-sex-with-me-spoiler-she-doesnt/#more-4603
AAAAAAAH all the doors just flew open at work … poltergeists!
Oy here i need a margarita, NYC hit 60 today, sweaters to OFF position!
I read that Captain Awkward link, Cassandra. It’s weird how some people keep hearing what they want to hear, until they don’t hear it any more — then think wishful thinking justifies everything.
Speaking of temperatures, guys, I’m immensely proud of myself. My home insulation job seems to be holding; I haven’t needed my space heater yet! :D
So, I’m pretty drunk.
Has “Bob” addressed any of the actual arguments presented or is he still just crying about his ex and Driscoll, and other people who have nothing to do with this community? Bob? You don’t need us or the “male subcultures.”‘
You need counseling.
I just made a delicious dinner if tostones, pupusas, and ropas… Never mind. I can’t spell it drunk on my phone.
OMG! I leave for jury summons (am serving two days next week oh yay), and BAM, over 700 comments.
It’s been a while since we’ve had this sturdy a troll toy.
But, wow, a moment of honesty:
What I want is for guys to stop being the only ones that are labeled as immature and not ready to grow up.
OK, you actually answered a question, Bob.
Here’s something to think about: this is something i see on feminist blogs, often. A generalization (NOT a universal) is made about men. Full frothing rage ensues, from the “I’m not like that brigade.”
And people are like: “OK! If you’re not like that, then this discussion is NOT about you. It’s about the specific men who are like that.”
If you’re not that that, you’re not the problem.
I get pissed off at all the pop psych about Peter Pans and Wendys and the men as immature and unable to commit and needing to be trapped into marriage: it’s insulting as hell to MEN AND WOMEN.
And it’s wrong–and sexist–and, listen very carefully here Bob because unless you can acknowledge this undeniable truth, I’m going to go back to playing kickball with your trollness: THAT CULTURAL STEREOTYPE DOES NOT ORIGINATE WITH FEMINISTS.
It is part and parcel of the misogynistic culture that patriarchy hath wrought.
I am 57; I remember the days when male/female relationships had to be all fucking fake and strategic and coy and full of stupid rules and women had to simper and men had to posture, and the OLD DAYS WERE FUCKING TERRIBLE.
Feminisms are part of a movement trying to change that.
So why are you on a feminist board blathering on to us about the right wing fundamentalists and the traditionalists who are all about this crap about men being immature (and needing a MOTHERWIFE, what’s the shit with that)–that’s NOT here.
So stop whining to us about it, and stop trying to justify hanging out with the MRM, and, as you’ve been advised, get some professional help and make your life better.
You’re the only one who can.
We’re not going to do it for you.
@ Shiraz
Yep. The thing that gets me about Bob is that he keeps insisting that the relationship was working really it was, because after all he felt like it was working and he wasn’t mean to her and blah blah. And you know what? We don’t know why it wasn’t working, but we do know for sure that it wasn’t working, and you know how we know that? Because she left! People do not randomly leave relationships that are working great, just because! If you think that is a thing that women do you are a sexist weirdo who needs therapy!
If someone wants out of a relationship, that relationship clearly isn’t working for them. Saying “yes it is” or “well it seemed fine to me” means that, regardless of what social niceties you blabber on about, you do not actually respect that person’s feelings or their right to say no. Because if they want out, they are allowed to leave, and if they didn’t want out, they wouldn’t have left.
If I have to sit through one more round of his “but the relationship was totally working!” nonsense I’m going to start throwing my evil lady throw pillows at the wall in frustration. No, the relationship was not working, otherwise she would not have ended it. The fact that you do not like this information does not make it untrue.
Ropas viejas?
I’ll take a red wine if you’ve got it, or white, I’m not fussy.
Ropas viejas?
I had grilled vegetable tortilla soup and quesadillas and could really use a Margarita right now.
Thanks for the virtual scotch. I’m usually more of a vodka girl, but: Bob.
If you can get some Tito’s vodka, it’s excellent. I do have some in the freezer, but since I’m on actual antibiotics at the mo, it’ll have to sit there.
Ninja’d!