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“Wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes,” and other actual PUA.txts

Old School PUA.txt

There’s a new blog out there that I think a lot of you will appreciate. I would say “enjoy,” but your enjoyment of it will no doubt alternate with despair over the future of the human race. Which makes it sort of like this blog!

Anyway, the blog is called PUA.txt, and, as the name suggests, it features horrible quotes taken from forums and other websites where would-be pickup artists like to congregate.

My favorite quote, of all those featured there, is probably this exceedingly whiny one from The Venusian Arts forum, in which a PUA by the name of Rick Tiero defends another commenter who refers to women as sluts. While other PUAs there are annoyed by the slut basher – because calling women “sluts” makes them defensive and less likely to want to have sex with PUAs — Rick has a different take. Addressing himself to one of the forum’s few female members, he writes:

Don’t try to judge him, you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through. Stuff like that can come from fucked up parents or even kindergardens that forcefeed small boys with religion and evil feminist propaganda, totaly destroying someones sexlife in the later years.

Of all the guys in here, very few are here by choice. You feminists have created spank for your own ass by compromising genderoles for ages now, don’t bitch about it. You women ruined our fun first by being a somewhat moral police yourselves! It is called bad karma.

No man wants to do whats wrong with women, they have been taught wrong by a society in genderless chaos created by the feminist movement, a movement so selfish and evil that I like to compare it to the new age nazis. In this society women are expected to not show body because a man is supposed to like her for her personality, like a woman likes a man.

It is doomed to fail, because people are not built that way. I bet OP has seen alot of porn and wouldn’t mind fucking all of the women in that room, even the fattie, bacause it’s nice for a change. Deep inside of him there is a good PUA just waiting to surface anytime soon.

And you women should really be more understanding to prude men! Put your self in my shoes! I can search for vegetables on the internet and find “Gorgeous teen playing with a cuecumber” And for me being a guy, that is something I’d like to watch!

Man! I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it. It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes. In the local park they have made this figure of a naked woman, but it’s made of stone. You women don’t have to go through any of that.

Yep, that’s right, it’s that old argument: Sexy women oppress men with their sexiness!

The most horrifying comment I’ve found on PUA.txt so far is probably this one from RooshV’s forum about the pros and cons of having sex with disabled women:

Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one.

There’s also a PUA.txt twitter account, which features still more horrible quotes. (I only wish it provided links to the sources of the quotes like the blog does.) Here are some of its greatest hits so far.

PS: Do any of you ladies know where the nearest bank is? I need to drop off some gold.

 

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Posted on November 16, 2012, in antifeminism, creepy, douchebaggery, hypocrisy, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, oppressed men, PUA, rhymes with roosh, twitter and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 338 Comments.

  1. *didn’t think they were congratulating

    (this is why I lurk, commenting is hard)

    I also want to make clear that I am not saying that I think LBT’s relationship isn’t real, or that it’s my place to judge the “realness” of people’s lived experiences.

  2. Thanks for explaining to me a situation I already knew, Kladle. I will now proceed to COMPLETELY IGNORE YOUR POST. LBT’s one of the first friends I made on the Boobz, and you don’t get to tell me how our relationship should go.

    I believe LBT has talked about the nature of his husband and linked to his art on here before, but I haven’t seen him for months, long enough that I was starting to worry, and we have new people so I don’t know if he’s still comfortable.

    I knew everything when I congratulated him on his anniversary and his husband’s birthday.

    So LBT has only one mouth to feed on a starving artist’s income; isn’t that enough to warrant some well wishing?

  3. I don’t begrudge you wishing him a happy anniversary. You all just need to know the nature of the marriage, and that when he says he’s in a gay relationship or has children, that he means something completely different than what most people mean.

    Why?

    I mean, honestly, why do we need to know that? What difference does it actually make to any of us?

    I could sort of see your point if LBT were posting things like, “As a married gay man, I know everything about all the struggles gay men face, and am absolutely an authority on gay male issues, all of which I have personally experienced!” But he’s not, as far as I’ve seen, and as it stands, I’m not sure how what you’re doing is any different than making sure to point out, “Sue here is transgendered! Sue was not born with a vagina! I just thought you should know!” every time a trans woman calls herself a woman, because she “means something different” than many people would. I don’t care about Sue’s genitals, and I don’t care whether LBT’s marriage is “what most people mean.” Why should I?

  4. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Kladle: adding to the “So what and what business is it of yours?” messages. I knew nothing of LBT’s situation and what you’ve said doesn’t change my perception of it at all. My beloved Mr Kitteh is in Spirit and that doesn’t make him one whit less real, or our birthdays and anniversaries and the stuff we do together “imagination” or anything unreal, either. You don’t get to define other people’s life experiences that way, by implying this “physical” reality is the only one that counts.

  5. I think we should move on from this topic. If LBT wants to bring up any of these issues, that’s one thing, but I’m not sure it’s really any of our business otherwise.

  6. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    And how better than with a cute furry?

  7. Creative Writing Student

    @Kitteh

    Aww, he does not want his bath, does he? *melts*

  8. Damn, I vanish for a bit and become a comment thread. Guess this means I have to dig into my wallet and find my usual disclaimers… *sigh* and here I was just hoping to ship Thermos and Judgy and say hi to folks. (By the way… aw, Falconer. I didn’t want to make you worry. I’ve missed talking with you too! Also now remembering the demi D&D lingo–thanks a lot.)

    Kladle, I thought you were here when I originally introduced myself on the forum. Though I’ve been gone for a while, and the newer/more lurkery commentariat might not know, I thought us being multi was fairly common knowledge. Like you said, it links in my name, and I linked art of Manjaw the Mighty (is that old battleaxe still around?). I don’t talk about it that often here just because… well, it’d be kinda presumptuous of me to commandeer the convo to explain My Multi Life wherever I went. And I get quite sick of being remarkable.

    I just find it incredibly disingenuous for him to present himself and his husband as a queer married couple

    *raises eyebrow* You would recommend me describing me and my husband’s relationship as…?

    with children

    I’ve never claimed to be representative of queer parents. I also haven’t mentioned it here since my recent return, since indeed, I recognize that my situation is highly anomalous. (I could elaborate, but why? I have a site for that, linked to my name.)

    when the issues he faces as someone with a partner and children in his head are completely different from the issues someone with a living, breathing partner and children have.

    I assure you, most of our system is quite alive, and presumably breathing. The word you’re looking for is ‘corporeal.’ Also, you seem to assume I am somehow more real than they are, which is decidedly not the case. I just talk here because nobody else is a fan of Manboobz.

    LBT is poor for example, but he doesn’t have to worry about feeding his children or paying for day care.

    Thank god! Life is hard enough right now! I already worry I’m doing a crap job doing what I do, at least I don’t have to worry about them starving to death.

    He won’t have to worry about taking a shitty job in order to get his husband on his health insurance, which may or may not be possible because his marriage might not be legally recognized.

    *sigh* *pulls out cue cards from wallet* Let’s see here… ah, there we are! *clears throat* “We of LBT are not intended to be representative of singlet queer parenting, marriage, or life. Indeed, it’s best we not be considered representative of anything except ourselves. If you have any questions, feel free to visit our site for more information, and if you can’t find it there, ask us directly.” *puts cards away* Ah good, glad to have that out of the way. Now, let’s get back to business! How many kids should Judgy and Thermos have together?

  9. And oh wow, slab of text. Sorry guys.

    And AW WOOKIT DA WIDDLE SNOOKUMS

  10. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Nooooo! One thing Thermos and Judgy should not do is breed! We don’t need little Judgies and Thermoses* running around.

    *Ancient Egyptian inventor of bottles?

  11. @kladle – as someone who has a very close and dearly beloved friend who is a multiple, I just want to say: fuck you, you fucking snotty, whinging, empathy-free fuck.

  12. Speaking of trolls, when do we get to do Troll Of The Year again? I’m stuck between Pell for the Original Uncle Monty Thread and also for being the most fun and easy troll to spot, Steelebutt for his interesting contributions to the English language (interesting, not good) and Bloody Stupid Martin for “penguins are whores”.

    By the way LBT, I didn’t say it earlier but congratulations to you and your husband. I don’t think I’ve spoken to you on here but I was lurking when you were last around and I’ve read your website.

  13. Kladle, that was shitty. Deeply, deeply shitty.

  14. RE: Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

    Thermoses sounds like the reviled cousin of Diogenes. And of course, their kids would be called Judgey Thermos!

    RE: thenatfantastic

    Thanks! We plan to bake a cake and have a party. And who is this Steelebutt? I must have missed him. (Though oh, I remember Martin and Pell.)

    Where is NWO, anyway? I haven’t seen him for like, three posts now. Don’t tell me our favorite misanthrope LEFT? He was a pillar of the community! An ANGRY pillar, blackened by fire and totally not weight-bearing, but still a pillar!

  15. Creative Writing Student

    Thermos and Judgey should get married on a sulphur vent, then have a million beautiful penguins. They can be their biological or adoptive penguins.

    Personally, I ship Steele and robot!Steele. Robot!Steele is basically Steele but concerned with the rights of robots to good (read: buttkissing) English teachers, on account of their faulty language programming.

  16. Steelebutt is Varpole/Steele/Torvus Butthorn. He has somewhat of a flair for the dramatic, calls everything ‘vile misandry’ (to the point of using it multiple times in a SENTENCE) and tries to buddy up to the other trolls. I can’t really describe him but watching him getting the vapours is a riot.

    NWO got put on moderation and just kind of gave up. He still turns up to arglebargle occasionally but he’s really just phoning it in, and since he can’t respond in real time there’s been no more ‘super-dogs’.

    …Although I don’t think he’s been spotted since the election, he might have finally gone Galt.

  17. Creative Writing Student

    I like to think he’s got a little deckchair and beach umbrella, sitting outside the White House, yelling about pretty much everything that pisses him off and how it’s all Obama’s fault, because Obama is a black jewish feminist gay slut princess or something.

  18. Maybe ‘the feminist police’ finally took away his computer and threw him in jail.

  19. Hmmmm. Varpole rings a bell, but nothing is coming to mind. Pfah, I’m getting out of date, y’all! How sad is that?

    And even though I never read any of his comments really, if I could, I would drink to the memory of NWOslave. Even though I never listened or read a word he said, he was a staple. Like the weevils in your flower. Though it sounds like after many years of loyal service, his glory days were sadly ended.

  20. Maybe he submitted all those 26-hour days he said he worked and his employer got suspicious.

    Oh, and kladle? You may “hate” being rude, but you just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOve being an asshole. Fuck off.

  21. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Oh gawd, CWS, I love that image of Owly sitting outside the White House ranting!

    So, he finally ended up on moderation, did he? I wondered why he hadn’t been around since the election at least. Of course his head might have exploded when the results came in, who knows?

    And Steele … well, Steelysoappad is the troll even other trolls ignore. Which is about as sad* as it gets, really.

    LBT, I hope you mean the real Diogenes and not the half-assed troll who posts under that name. Dragging the name of Thermoses the Grate into the muck, I dunno … Oh, I just spent a half-hour reading your blog, btw. That was a good half hour! :)

    *sad as in gives me the warm inner glow of schadenfreude

  22. Creative Writing Student

    Steele is like an angry puppy who can’t grammar for shit. :D

  23. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    But even angry puppies are cute …

  24. Creative Writing Student

    It’s just… he’s so pathetic and attention seeking and leg-humpy of the other trolls he reminds me of a puppy everyone’s ignoring because they have more important things to do or the puppy piddled on someone’s shoe…

  25. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    LOL I know, it’s a hoot when he does that, isn’t it? And he puts on this pompous us-academics act like he’s asking the other trolls to submit a paper to a journal or something. And they ignore him.

    Brown-nose Fail, that’s our steelyrustypants.

  26. Given how open LBT is I’m not sure why anyone would assume that the people saying congrats here don’t already know the specific kind of relationship he’s referring to. Personally the nature of that relationship isn’t really important to me in this context – if someone is happy about something that feels like a good thing to them, you congratulate them, unless it’s something that’s really obviously not such a good thing (eg. I’m so happy that I found someone to participate in erotic cannibalism with me, and they will be killing me next week so that they can eat me!), in which case I would indeed express concern.

    About the men and boundaries issues, here’s a work-related anecdote. So there’s this guy from a band who I’ve worked with who gets hit on by fans a lot. Sometimes he’s up for that, but there was this one time that a woman hit on him a. really aggressively, by walking right up and groping his chest and stomach without much of a preamble and telling him exactly what she’d like to do to him b. in a very public setting. He responded with discomfort and embarrassment and basically shook her off and walked away. I was talking to another woman about it and she kept going “why would he do that? The woman who was hitting on him was really hot!”. It was a weird reaction, definitely judgy and suggesting that he ought to have gone along with things. And I was going…maybe the woman just wasn’t his type, maybe he didn’t appreciate being randomly molested by a stranger, or maybe he just didn’t appreciate it happening in public, maybe he was in a serious relationship at the time, maybe the aggressiveness scared him in a “this person might hurt me” sense – who knows? Regardless of what the reason was, he is actually allowed to say no, even if he has in the past said yes to other people. But the perspective I was getting from the woman who I was talking to about it was that there was no valid reason for him saying no other than the woman hitting on him being conventionally unattractive, especially since he’s said yes on other occasions (slut shaming – not just for women, apparently).

    It definitely made me think about how consent is framed for men, and the ways in which that consent is basically just assumed a lot of the time. It also made me worry for a lot of the younger men in my life who might have a harder time asserting their boundaries.

    On the current crop of trolls, Steele is definitely the most dedicated, but he’s kind of dull. We need more interesting trolls.

  27. RE: Kittehs’

    I’m glad you’re enjoying! I’m assuming you mean HM.com, which I would love to upload more to, but am having really bizarre problems with. (It won’t allow me to upload files. Which is a very big problem, since I MAKE COMICS.) Regardless, very glad you like!

    RE: CassandraSays

    I feel bad for your musician friend. That’s really uncool. The concept of the entitled fan has always been completely alien to me, and a bit creepy. You don’t just go up and TOUCH strangers! That’s not okay!

  28. @ LBT

    IME this is actually even worse for people who’re touchy-feely in general (which the dude in question is). If you tend to be huggy with friends then people tend to assume that it’s always OK to touch you in whatever way they feel like. Add in the kind of horribly behavior that fans sometimes exhibit towards their crushes and, well, I’ve seen girls reach right up and grab the junk of guys who got too close to the edge of the stage in small venues. I really don’t understand why anyone thinks that’s an OK thing to do.

    Nothing beats the fan who snuck up on a guy in the dark when he was having a smoke, grabbed him from behind with her arms holding his arms down, and held on for dear life while he was struggling to get loose, and then was super offended that he was scared rather than delighted by her display of devotion. Dude in question is about 115 pounds, and the woman in question had about 5-6 inches and at least 60 pounds on him – of course he was scared.

  29. Honestly, I the whole issue of boundaries and people’s lack of respect for them bothers the hell out of me. How hard is it to grasp the idea that you shouldn’t grab people without their permission, and that if they appear to be unhappy about you touching them then you should let go? This is a universal rule which should be applied regardless of gender.

  30. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Gah, those are really horrible things to happen, CassandraSays. That’s flamin’ assault, not expressing admiration/desire/whatever!

    LBT – yeah, I went from your DeviantArt page to your own blog, looking for the questions pages. Your artwork is gooood – and informative! :)

    I’m now really wanting to tell a bit more about Mr Kitteh’s and my situation, because I haven’t liked not telling the important and relevant bits, but haven’t thought I should outside the forums … only I’m also shying away from a bloody great Look At Me derail.

  31. Eh, who worries about a bit of a derail here?

  32. Varpole/Steele/Torvus Butthorn

    VILE DISGUSTING VILE! :D

  33. Derailing? On THIS site? Heresy!

    And gah, people who run up and touch without asking. NOT COOL, people. NOT COOL. (My husband is a bit of a flirt and has had to fend off being not-okay groped before. SO not cool.)

  34. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    LOL!

    Okay, I’ll keep it brief (or try to).

    Mr Kitteh crossed into Spirit centuries ago. He’s not a haunting or ghost or my imagination. I’ve thought about that possibility many times! The fact he’s been seen by several strangers who know nothing about us is pretty good validation, I reckon.

    I’ve been in love with him over thirty years. He’s known about me since I was born, but did not try to make contact first – it’s a no-go, you don’t try to influence people like that. Soulmates is one word for us, in the romantic sense; he also says it’s like a perfectly matching leaf on the tree, or the piece of the jigsaw that fits (which I think is the best term, cos we’re still different people). We’ve been in contact about six years and have considered ourselves married most of that time. And it’s absolutely the best six years of my life, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

    We blog (mostly me, but he channels on occasion) at http://vignettesacrosstheveil.wordpress.com/

  35. I was recently pleasantly surprised when my dear darling physical therapist, who has worked with me for six months in very intimate ways (butt-massage even!) asked if it was okay to give me a hug after they took my picture to hang on their success board.

  36. Kittehs’ Help, your blog makes me really happy. I’m glad you and Mr. Kitteh have such a good life together :)

  37. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Fitzy, thank you! Great big happy smiles here. :) :) :)

  38. Dawwww. Definitely makes me happy too. For someone who does a lot of education, a lot of the homelife details get stripped out as troll repellant. I’m glad y’all’re happy.

  39. I am glad that I am reading this thread with a purring cat draped over my thigh. There are lots of people I like here; I want them to be happy, and therefore I am happy when they find happiness.

    (And Kitteh, all best to you too!)

  40. LBT, sorry this turned into a “let’s scrutinize your relationships” thread, because that’s nobody’s damn business. Your patience with people always amazes me! But I’m glad this is generally a place where people like you and Kitteh can talk openly about your relationships (if you want to).

  41. LBT, I just looked up from the last comic on healthymultiplicity.com and realized that 45 minutes had blown by and I didn’t even notice. I’m really enjoying your work, and I get to feel smart because I’m learning, too. Your stuff is a win/win.

  42. Yeah, I read LBT’s comics when I went to a writing night and ended up reading ‘em all instead of writing for pretty much the whole evening.

    ‘course, I have a lot of trouble focusing at in-person writing nights anyway.

  43. Adding to the praise for LBT’s comics!

    Also, the purring cat is doing wonders for my mood, but if anyone happens to have any cute animal videos lying around I’m just saying there’s no time like the present for sharing them…

  44. Was this one posted here already?

    or this one?

    Hope not, but if not, a rerun’s not so bad a thing in this case. This one never gets old no matter how many times I watch it…

  45. RE: katz

    Enh, I’m unfortunately kind of accustomed to it. I figure I can either get let it ruin my day or not, Besides, everyone here did the job of shutting it down and getting annoyed FOR me! :D (For which I am thankful. It’s nice not to have to haul it myself!)

    RE: inu, Fitzy, and cloudiah

    Woo! I’m glad you’re enjoying. And see, it all turns out for the best! More people enjoy my comics, Kittehs’ finds a new place to be herself, and things move on happily!

    (Shameless plug: The comics are all for sale, in case anybody wants one!)

  46. LBT, sorry to derail further but I gotta ask, are you reading Sera? The Endgame finally fell into place in my head, and I’m actually really excited.

    This book is really a huge improvement from Tales.

  47. (also I’m sorta curious about which one of you actually likes AoC stories the best XD)

  48. Damn, I haven’t been reading Sera! I actually haven’t even started it, due to the old Net troubles. Would I have to start at the beginning, digging back through your Sera tag? Or are they not in chrono order?

  49. The tag would work (if you sorted backward through it), but I can e-mail you the files directly in .html, .rtf, or .odt format if it’d help.

  50. That’d be fantastic, actually. I have to head to bed, but I would LOVE the whole thing. HTML would probably be easiest; my old comps, ya know, all they got is Office 97.

  51. Sent. :) I should draw up a sketch of Serafina so you know how I picture her body shape when I inevitably commission you to draw her.

    Anyway! </selfish derail>

  52. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Woo! I’m glad you’re enjoying. And see, it all turns out for the best! More people enjoy my comics, Kittehs’ finds a new place to be herself, and things move on happily!

    I’m really glad/relieved you feel that way about it! I was really nervous about saying what Mr Kittehs’ and my situation is but didn’t like not clarifying it.

    Happy cat purrs …

  53. (Shameless plug: The comics are all for sale, in case anybody wants one!)

    That’s not a shameless plug – that’s an excellent reminder that several people on my Xmas list need stocking stuffers!

  54. LBT — Oh, please don’t get all concerned about me to the point where you stop taking care of yourself. If you need to disappear off the Net, go ahead! Lord knows I sometimes have to bail from places. And let me add that I’m enjoying your art, although I haven’t got off your DA yet.

    Congrats to you on a successful relationship, Kittehs!

  55. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Thank you, Falconer! :)

  56. Re: the silly advert (I didn’t bother reading the rest. PUAs = mostly *yawn*).

    Funnily enough, it really IS obvious when a woman is attracted to someone (you, anyone) vs. when she’s not.

    It’s actually easiER to spot when she’s attracted to someone other than you, because if she’s into you, you’ll be observing the “turned on” state, more than the “turned off” state.

    I was hanging out with some friends after a gig the other night, laughing and joking, and the one girl in the group remarked to the compere / lead singer of one of the bands about how his tight jeans left very little to the imagination (!she was right, too! 0.0 Damn! dude is packing!) and it was the most blatant flirting, not just for the speech content, but everything about her face and body language, and the way her voice went *down a few tones* and got all warm-honey smooth…

    And what was also obvious, was that it was completely subconcious change on her part…
    Of course, not every woman signals the same way, but the *change* itself (whatsoever it is) in non-verbal as well as verbal behaviour is the “tell”..

    I’m sure the same is true of blokes as well. Actually, (thinks about observations) yeah it is.

    One of the skills I wish I could go back in time and gift to my childhood / teen self is being able to “read” people just from their posture, body language etc.

  57. RE: inu

    I approve immensely of this idea. You should totally do that.

    RE: Fitzy

    Woooo! Yeah, feel free to let me know if any stand out to you.

    Slightly bummed because a comic I submitted for an anthology didn’t get in. :( Oh well, another day, another comic!

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