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The Amazing Atheist spits on the memory of Amanda Todd [TW: bullying, sexual shaming, self-harm, suicide]

You may have read about the heartbreaking story of Amanda Todd, a Canadian teenager who recently posted a much-watched YouTube video (posted below) detailing the bullying and harassment she’d endured online and in real life. This past Wednesday, she was found dead, the apparent victim of suicide.

Here, from the Vancouver Sun, is the basic outline of Amanda’s story:

Amanda was 12 years old when she made a mistake that would haunt her until her death three years later.

Her ordeal started while she was fooling around online with friends. She probably didn’t think it was risky behaviour when she lifted her top to flash the person who was flattering her at the other end of the webcam.

Amanda’s moment of indiscretion was not unusual for someone her age: Sexting and using webcams to share sexual photos is a growing trend among children, some so young they are still in grade school.

“The Internet stalker she flashed kept stalking her,” said Carol. “Every time she moved schools he would go undercover and become a Facebook friend. What the guy did was he went online to the kids who went to (the new school) and said that he was going to be a new student — that he was starting school the following week and that he wanted some friends and could they friend him on Facebook.”

“He eventually gathered people’s names and sent Amanda’s video to her new school.”

The video and photos went to teachers, to parents, to Facebook friends, which lead to repeated taunts: “Oh, there’s the porn star.” …

Amanda was the victim of unrelenting blackmail. And the cyberspace stalker was aided by people in Amanda’s real-world life — kids who would share the photos on their cellphones, kids who would gang up to hurl first verbal abuse and then fists at her.

Amanda’s story illustrates what can happen to young girls when sexualized images of them floating around online, whether they’ve put these pictures up themselves in a moment of poor judgement or whether someone has stolen them from password-locked private photo albums, or whether someone has surreptitiously taken an “upskirt” or “down-the-blouse” or some other compromising picture of them in public. This is the sort of damage that things like the Jailbait and Creepshots subreddits can do to young girls. This is why it’s so important that things like these subreddits be shut the fuck down.

Sadly, even after her suicide, Amanda remains the target of bullies and assholes online.

One of these assholes? The MRA and atheist videoblogger and all-around terrible person known to the world as The Amazing Atheist, whom we first met when he had a Reddit meltdown and started spewing misogynistic abuse at his detractors. Now he’s spitting on Amanda’s memory.

Mocking the format of Amanda’s video, in which told her story by holding up sheets of paper to the camera describing the abuse she’s endured, The Amazing Atheist posted this picture to his Tumblr blog earlier today:

I simply can’t comprehend the mind of someone whose response to Amanda’s story is this. Beyond awful.

Here’s Amanda’s video:

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Posted on October 13, 2012, in bullying, douchebaggery, harassment, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, reddit, YouTube and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 266 Comments.

  1. TAA is also the same guy who’s talked about his sexual fantasies regarding children and said that “a dick is the least harmful thing a priest could put in your child.” Class act all around.

  2. thebewilderness

    The secondary vid of slow motion things was excellent!

  3. @Kiwi girl: Encyclopedia Dramatica’s got an extensive article on the guy, complete with nude photos. I’m not about to head over there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew his identity.

  4. Thank God for kitten videos.

  5. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    In order to promote this meme we could use the pic that David posted here. It sums up his lack of human decency and attention seeking tendencies rather succinctly.

    Yeah, just the anger in those piggy little eyes says all you need to know. “Damn it! Stop showing empathy! Just stop it!”

  6. Continuing the food theme–because it’s lees depressing than the OP–we made this tonight, and HELL YEAH the bacon was there:

    http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/rachael-ray-magazine-recipe-search/dinner-recipes/turkey-meat-loaf

    It was delicious.

  7. @Kiwi girl, yeah, TAA’s real name is TJ Kincaid. Although I think he actually makes some money off his videos; he’s a youtube sponsor and even has a DVD out.

  8. That bacon on the top is very pretty.

  9. I need to make a version for work on Monday night, as I got accepted into a PhD (woot!). One of my colleagues has an allergy to sucrose, so I have granular sugar substitute and I need to get more oil (she’s also allergic to dairy). Does anyone know what I can do instead for icing/serving as I can’t do any frosting – because icing/confectioner’s sugar contains sucrose?

  10. How in the fuck is this guy a Youtube sponsor considering his history of saying horrible, horrible things? What company would possibly want to be associated with him?

  11. I just read the comments on the article that David linked. How can people be so horrible? *watches more baby kittens and dogs playing*

  12. Someone recommended his videos to me ages ago (before he was called out on his misogyny), but in the first one I watched he admitted that he had never finished a full book and only read magazines. Why anyone gives a shit about what he has to say is a complete mystery to me. I wonder if his usual defenders will support this or if it will be too much, even for them….

  13. @lauralot, eh, he has a ton of subscribers and the vast majority of his stuff is unobjectionable. Which is not to excuse this shit in any way, he’s an total asshole, but it’s not like he does it regularly. So it gets overlooked, I guess.

  14. pricessbonbon: the calico in the last video looks almost exactly like my Mimi.

    Awww…Arilyn the second attention hog in this house looks like the kittens in this video.

  15. timetravellingfool

    TAA doesn’t have the strength of character it takes to exercise compassion or empathy so he devalues it. And in his twisted mind that is some form of bravery. Fuck you, dude, you are a narrow minded prick who hurts people.

  16. @kiwi girl
    Whipped cream, maybe? I sometimes make whipped cream as icing, I just whip some packets of cream with some sugar, but you can probably use the substitute instead. I have no idea if it would go well with that kind of cake, though.

  17. TAA doesn’t have the strength of character it takes to exercise compassion or empathy so he devalues it. And in his twisted mind that is some form of bravery. Fuck you, dude, you are a narrow minded prick who hurts people.

    Thank you for this post. You said it more perfectly than I think I’ve ever heard.

  18. kiwi girl: I second the whipped cream frosting if you can do it, and congrats on the PhD acceptance!!!

    Katz: I learned that next time use longer bacon strips, because the bacon had curled giving it a very interesting look when it came out of the oven. Bacon feather boa wasn’t the look I was aiming for.

  19. Sir Bodsworth,

    I suggest something like 1 molar douchbag = One liter of TAA contains 1 mole of douchebags. (That’s 6.022 x 10^23 douchebags per liter.) And the density of a human is about 1.4 g/ml, so assuming that TAA weighs about 90 kg, TAA contains about 65 liters.

    65x 6.022×10^23 douchebags… that’s a lot of douchery.

  20. In more positive news-the little girl shot by the Taliban is showing good signs and has been moving her limbs.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-57531936/indications-of-hope-for-shot-pakistani-girl/

  21. thebewilderness

    No dairy leaves out cream cheese and whipped cream frostings. There is a cool thing that can be done with peanut butter and your sugar substitute, or you could just go with cinnamon and sug sub dusting or chocolate drizzle, depending on the cake.

  22. Ugh, I just can’t deal with this shit tonight, even with the comfort of kittens and recipes. I just had to go donate to anti-bullying organizations, and I still feel sick.

    I know what it’s like to be harassed and abused to the point of cutting and contemplating suicide. Hell, I know what it’s like to have a suicide plan because the monsters in your life are so terrible. And to think that there are even worse monsters out there who will mock you after you’re dead when they didn’t even know you while you were living…I just can’t handle that sort of evil. I don’t want to live on this planet any more.

  23. @kiwi girl
    Sorry, I missed the no dairy part.

  24. I’m sorry, Lauralot. Virtual hugs if you want ‘em.

    Oh, I missed the dairy allergy part. I got nothing, I’m kinda crap at baking. Although tomorrow I am going to tackle a banana peanut butter chocolate cake with Mr. HK’s help. It’s like once a year I have to bake something just on the off chance I’ll be better at it.

  25. TAA’s identity is public. He’s published a book under his real name. Sadly, it does not appear to have quilted soft pages and thus is a complete waste of paper pulp.

    For more information on this delightful gentleman, you could go to the article about him on rationalwiki.

    But honestly, who would want to do that when there are videos of otters to watch (note: turn up the volume because zomg squeakies!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhuvaKLJbNw

  26. @lauralot
    YouTube will sponsor anybody as long as they have enough subscribers.

  27. Let’s see if I can get that to embed

  28. Maybe use sugar free Cool Whip? (Is that a thing that exists? It seems like it would.)

  29. Sorry Kiwi girl- I’m respectfully disagreeing. The reason he acts like this is because he’s never been held accountable for his own keeping. If he had to pay rent or buy his own food, he’d quickly learn what humility is. Amazing what just one night of being cold and hungry can do to a person’s ego.

  30. You can make frosting out of avocados. Alton Brown knows how, and its good.

  31. @Lauralot
    I’m sorry. Hugs as well if you want.

  32. So I went and looked up the ED post on TAA, and forget the banana incident, there are far better ways to mock him. There’s MRA-meets-emo poetry.

    Somehow I manage to fake a lack of interest
    And she untangles the room with her footsteps
    Hemorrhaging conversation, I drink her milky words
    Like soup from invisible wounds and
    Content in my obscurity
    Proceed to destroy her
    In a gentle manner
    Until she is
    Mine

  33. @lauralot, that’s awful. I’m sending you hugs and good wishes.

    After reading the Vancouver Sun article, I wish I could give Amanda Todd’s mom a hug, too. I’m heartbroken for her losing her daughter to those monsters. It said the police were never able to track down the guy who stalked her either, because he covered his tracks well. I hope they keep investigating and bring him to justice for the sake of Amanda and for her loved ones.

  34. I can’t even…. My God, that poor young woman. I’m not a person to cry, but this one had me doing so. I hope Amanda Todd (and the many other children who’ve chosen to end their lives due to bullying) rests in peace, and that somehow we find a way to make her death not in vain. I hope that her family has a large and caring support network capable of seeing them through. They will be tilling the sorrows of stone for some time to come.

    As for the asshat, he is beneath contempt and consideration. May he reap what he sows, may he be shunned by everyone he meets and find turned backs in his time of greatest need. May the gods and good fortune forget that he exists. May he find nothing but small discontents in everything he touches, such that his life brims with with discomfort. And may he live a VERY long life in misery,alone.

  35. Thanks for the suggestions, I’ll look into the peanut butter and avocado ideas, they sound nice. Yes, the co-worker has multiple allergies and I hate people being left out of food shouts at work, hence why I’m working with a vegan recipe and trying to work out the frosting issue.

    And thanks for the congrats. :)

    @valarienorth: some people are just such jerks that I can’t wish them onto any co-workers, let alone supervisors, managers, or business owners. In particular, I would hate for him to have younger, impressionable female colleagues. He sounds like the kind of person who would need to have a major epiphany in order to change his views, and I can’t think of anything that would be major enough. He appears to be only qualified for minimum wage jobs, and lots of people working those jobs have enough problems to deal with, without having him as a co-worker.

  36. @valerienorth
    Nobody should go cold and hungry, suffering doesn’t fix suffering. I have seen people who have gone hungry in the past judging the hell out of other people because if they went hungry themselves, then everyone else is just being too weak and they shouldn’t complain, which is exactly the world view the Amazing Asshat espouses.

  37. Thanks, guys. My blood pressure is back where it should be now. I think spending time around here with actual decent human beings is helping restore my faith in mankind’s potential for good.

  38. @lauralot89 special kiwi-hugs for you too. :)

  39. @Lauralot
    Manboobz, come for the mocking, stay for the reaffirmation of the basic goodness of humanity (and the kitties).

  40. This really shows why fighting against creepshots is so important, because this is what happens when people distribute sexual photos/movies of women, particularly young women, without their consent. It isn’t just “oh, there’s an awkward picture out there” like you had a bad hair day or something–no, this is something that leads to harassment and abuse.

  41. And stay for the recipes too!. I found that avocado icing works well for those who are dairy intolerant, but it contains sugar. Not to be defeated, I found this http://vegannz.blogspot.co.nz/2008/10/cream-cheese.html as a vegan substitute for cream cheese, all I need to do is add in some powdered sugar replacement and it should work.

    Thanks to everyone for the baking ideas. :)

  42. I personally wish he one day realizes the harm he has caused and spends the rest of his life making up for it.

    And that he never gets to see another Youtube kitten video again.

  43. thebewilderness

    It is a terrible thing to wish, I know, but I wish him self awareness and the capacity for introspection.

  44. This is just… beyond depressing. I’m a mom of two young girls, and I have to admit some of my first thoughts were of their futures. Sometimes I get the impulse to deny them access to the internet so I will feel safer, but I know that wouldn’t work or be a good idea. I like to think that I could do something to prevent them from becoming victims this way but there needs to be a huge shift in society for our kids to be safe from bullying.

    I remember when I was in fifth grade a boy in my class told me that he took pictures of me naked from outside my bedroom window and that he would show them to everyone. I was mortified, but I called his bluff and he didn’t actually have pictures. I lived on the 4th floor of an apartment building so it seemed rather unlikely that he could possibly have taken a picture (not close enough for it to be from another building, kids in the early 90s wouldn’t have good enough cameras to make the shot). He did spread rumors around that he had pictures, but thankfully that seemed to backfire on him; everyone thought he was creepy and gross. Maybe only because that is obvious stalker shit, where in this girl’s case it was seen as something she did on purpose.

    Which is complete shit. Growing up now, where everyone can take video or pictures with their phones and instantly upload it to the internet where it will exist forever, fuck I have no idea how anyone manages it

  45. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Sorry Kiwi girl- I’m respectfully disagreeing. The reason he acts like this is because he’s never been held accountable for his own keeping. If he had to pay rent or buy his own food, he’d quickly learn what humility is. Amazing what just one night of being cold and hungry can do to a person’s ego.

    valerienorth, have you ever lived on unemployment payments? I have, I survived for two years when I could not get work a decade ago. I would have been homeless if I had been alone, because the payments were about $250 a fortnight. That is way below the poverty line. It doesn’t even begin to cover rent, let alone utilities, food, transport to job interviews (should you be so lucky as to get one), emergencies, etc, etc. Please don’t talk as if welfare payments = living on the fat of the land. The unemployed are put through ridiculous hoops and treated as dirt – and that’s in Australia, which isn’t nearly as bad, from all I’ve heard, as the US.

    And nothing would make slimeballs like the unamazing atheist behave better. He’d manage to turn it all around and blame society if he thought HE was a victim. It’s the way scumbags like the MRAs do things. Kiwigirl had a good point, though that he’s not fit to be in any workplace. If I was his boss (ie I had a small business) and found out he was doing these things, I’d sack him, all right.

  46. Blitzgirl from what I read there have been attempts made to find out who the man/woman was but he/she made a strong effort to cover his/her tracks. The Canadian police apparently found the person responsible was in the US. I’m not sure if more will be found out.

  47. I’m not often viscerally sickened by the stuff I see from MRAs (yes, TAA is an MRA if that’s not clear (I haven’t read the comments)) and the like online, but this time I am simply filled with disgust. TAA is an enormous pile of manure bricks with a face. Fuck that chucklefuck right in his hatebeard. Apparently his run-in with SRS, wherein he deliberately triggered a rape victim, led him to engage in just about no introspection whatsoever. I would really despair if I were like he is—apparently incapable of growth or basic human empathy.

    What a disgrace.

  48. It’s so hard when you’re that age to realize that there is life after all of that misery. I know being almost 30, that many of my own bullies have unfortunately become my friends on facebook, which will always a very strange to me, and I will never get over it. I am hoping that many of these people who found her getting beaten up will, hopefully, realize what terrible people they were in their younger days and feel guilty about it and want to be better people. hI know that I’m very thankful that Facebook not exist when I was a teenager, and I’m sure many people do. I know the best Thing that I have done was get over all that stuff and move on but Being so young, that you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do know, that when you’re that age and Mistakes are broadcasted, Is the worst thing in the world. That person needs to, at the very least realize what they did to another human being, and for the most be found out, held accountable for actions, and go to trial. Cyber bullying should not be a Multi year problem for someone so young And innocent. I have a young daughter, and I would hate the person who would ever do that to her. There’s no excuse for something so awful.

  49. I’m pretty sure that TAA has mentioned in at least one of his videos that he was molested as a child. Which makes his contempt for rape victims and victims of harassment all the more sickening.

  50. I’m not the only one who noticed that he’s naked in that photo, am I? Because ew.

  51. Ah, I see Shuyin is still around. How does that quote go, from that game? “Only then I realized that this place, this “Life”, is an abomination, a horrible distortion of the natural order. This “Life”, who mothered Pain, and Fear, and Envy – these twisted children who exist only because we are here to feed them, to nourish them.”?

    Wait? Not Shuyin, the millennial old phantom of hatred and pain and unresolved emotional frigidity that has no ability to see beyond his own nose and thus blames the entire world for his own problems and assumes it is a a sad, bad and mad place to live? The phantom forever carried on ether wings of mild abuse/possessive issues, emotional manipulation and obsessive control issues? Well, damn. Sorry. They’re just so similar, you all. So what is this, then? The Amazing Atheist being a bit of a shortsighted git?

    Yes! That’s it. One of those weird excuses for Bad Stuff based on the idea that Bad Stuff Happens, so it Has To Happen and we’re all puppets of fate and pawns of chance and life sucks and we should die. I prefer Kerghan, from Arcanum, to the Amazing Atheist. I mean, at least the last guy can make you believe that Life (with a capital L) is all a whole load of bother, TAA just seems… less brilliant. More miserable. More self focused. More myopic. God I love the word myopic.

    Enough RPG references, I’ve only ever played one Final Fantasy game (I lied! Sorry!) and the one thing I never understood that well about the villains is that their plans tend to boil down to “Life sucks, blow up the planet”. It did have the happy side effect of inoculating me against other people saying the same thing, though, because no matter which way you slice it, it is still utter stupid.

    Amanda’s story is sad. Whether other people died “today” (or any day) does not do anything to alter that fact. I mean, I get the contrived message there -“Overfocus on one story to elicit emotional reactions can be very manipulative and we should not forget that other people suffer too” – but I have a fucking empathy issue and even I can phrase it better that a tusch on some cardboard and a pretend snark.

    What’s the deal, yo? It’s like he is trying to say that the availability of stories on someone’s suicide has a any influence on how sad the event is, in itself? A million death’s is a statistic but it is also, and this is the important bit, a million deaths.

    I have composed myself now.
    Phew.

    Moving on!

    I personally feel that “Amanda’s story illustrates what can happen to young girls when sexualized images of them floating around online” is actually a little off. I mean, yes!, this demonstrates one of the possible consequences of what could happen (and god am I ever screwed if someone breaks into my online file storage), but it really seems to me much more to demonstrate how moronic the idea some dichotomy between saint and skank is. I have had rum and I shall elaborate as follows:

    Remember that boyfriend that asked you to do that thing, and then you said no, and then he begged and was all smiles and then you did it and then what followed wasn’t: “Yay! Joypleasure” but “Hahaha you skank, I can’t believe I got you to do that! Hah!”.
    Yeah, that.

    When the person in Amanda’s story first gets a minor to take off her shirt (1), then takes pictures (2), then stalks her (3), then shares those pictures that he talked her into taking with others (4) and finally, those others then start making fun of her for the pictures he took (5), that’s 5 counts of idiocy and at least 3 broken laws. Probably more.

    (although, yeah, those sites David mentions need to go. Like, right pronto)

    How the hell do you curb the tendency that in any manner of sexual behavior, women get the blame? If you take your clothes off you’re a slut, if you keep them on you’re a prude, if you get taken pictures of yourself you’re an exhibitionist (And so, !logically, also a sex object so a slut so someone who has sex so someone I can touch inappropriately ha ha ha), if someone else takes pictures of you you are still an exhibitionist and probably also either “Dumb and deserve it” or “Secretly into it any way”.

    I mean, I don’t think there is anything wrong with pictures of people. I have made enough half obscure references to the point that I have had some taken. But there is something very, very wrong with the idea that the very act of taking a momentary permanent glimpse of someone else somehow fucking scars them for life! It’s like a permanent personality change through penis… Without the actual penis. It is magic. Huzzah!

    I blame stupidity. And an inability to appreciate the beautiful things in life. Whether photographed or not.

  52. Yeah, being homeless or suffering won’t cure TAA of his assholishness. We had one regular troll who is now in the dustbin of MBZ history who claimed he’d been homeless, and he was just about the biggest judgmental glibertarian prick on the planet.

  53. To those who wondered… Yes, TAA’s real identity is known – and it can easily be found.
    I’d post it here but I’m not sure if that’s allowed – or if anyone else all ready has named him.

    I’m pretty sure his name was creditet when he still was a contributos for ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com – though he was removed from the site quite a long time ago.
    (Not sure why, but I’ve heard it had something to do with the content of his submissions. I can’t find anything adressing this in detail – apart from a video he made explaining it. All though I’d like to believe the producers decided to remove him because of his controversial stupidi- I mean, opinions.)

    The more I read about the guy, the more disgusted I get.

    Allthough I must add, reading his rants is probably one of the easiest ways to score a MRA Bingo.

  54. I can’t talk about Amanda Todd any more right now. I especially can’t talk about her case theoretically or abstractly in any way. Done.

    Kiwi girl, I was going to suggest vegan cream cheese – it makes terrific icing. Also, you should be able to put your sugar substitute in the blender and make powdered sugar-sub.
    If you want an alternative, the icing my mom always made for red velvet cake started with a white sauce. It’s not as sweet as most icing, and it suits the red velvet cake perfectly. Here’s a recipe: http://www.ourbestbites.com/2008/09/perfect-cupcake-frosting-and-filling/ . You can use vegan margarine instead of butter and non-dairy milk, of course. The only thing about this icing is that it melts in warm temperatures, so refrigerate it most of the time.

    More food! I made the best pizza tonight! Homemade whole wheat crust, minced garlic mixed into a little olive oil, spinach, mozzarella cheese, feta cheese, and artichoke hearts. Lately, I’ve been trying to make as many different kinds of pizzas as I can. I think for my next one, I’m going to see if I can make tempeh taste like Italian sausage (I’ve already made it taste like chorizo, so this should be easy) and make a “sausage” and roasted red bell pepper pie.

  55. This story is also why I despise half of my friends from high school, more than half of them are almost guaranteed to bash her because she was being a “slut”, if I weren’t such a coward, I’d call my irl friends out on their bullshit more often, but alas, fear gets the better of me. Fucking /b/.

  56. Oh, and Kiwi girl, congratulations!

  57. Really, come to think of it, I find the views of most of my generation to be absolutely contemptible. It’s like they *want* to be horrible people, like it’s funny somehow.

  58. Internet hugs to Lauralot, and glad you’re doing better; congrats to Kiwi girl; princess Bonbon, I believe that Murkin the dog is an example to us all of patience, compassion, and love. And now I have the strangest craving for red velvet cake…

  59. Um, I should add that TJ’s identity is public information, it’s not like I’m doxxing him. He had a public Facebook profile under his real name.

  60. Aworld, it’s hard to call someone out on their bullshit. About the only thing I’m able to do is say something mild like “now don’t be a hater” so that at least they know I don’t think like they do. (I hear a ton of racism.) But it’s not your responsibility to change people’s minds.

  61. @ aworld

    Please keep in mind the fact that (and this is the case even if some of the friends you’re talking about are women) that if you as a man were to speak up and condemn the gendered slutshaming then that would be far more likely to make an impact than anything coming from outside the group, or anything any of the women in the group say. The way to fix this stuff is for more men to openly condemn the double standard within their own social groups. I know it can be hard, but it’s important.

    I’ve been reading through some Captain Awkward threads that I missed, and this one is a really good example of why it’s important to do that, especially if you read the comments.

    http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/08/324-my-friend-the-rapist/

  62. Oooo.. ,,more yummy frosting/icing suggestions. :) Thanks @clairedammit, I’m so happy I have all these options now, whereas earlier I was wondering just what I was going to do. I now just need to check why my cake top cracks but there’s still some not-completely-cooked-but-not-uncooked bits in the cake.

    @aworldanonymous, just remember to keep yourself physically and/or psychologically safe, oftentimes it can be unsafe to call out bullies. It’s *not* cowardice when you’re protecting yourself, it’s called *being sensible*. :) Trust me on this. :) :)When this type of thing happens to me (not often), I will say something quietly to the person concerned, without making a big deal out of it. But it can be hard to be diplomatic when one is upset, and also sometimes one can’t get the person alone to talk to within a reasonable time period. And some people don’t take quiet, gentle constructive comments well…

  63. I am like the prototypical white person (pale, blonde, blue eyes), and I’ve found that people seem comfortable saying the most racist things imaginable in front of me — my “go to” response has been “What made you think I was a racist?” said in a curious tone. For some reason, it seems to embarrass them. LOVE that Captain Awkward thread.

  64. I know I should speak out, but these are /b/ users we’re talking about, they revel in being shitty people, really I just want to find some outlet for my anger that my friends haven’t grown out of that mentality, I dunno, I just feel like I’m the only person who thinks “trolling” is getting old.

  65. My response at that point would be to stop being friends with those people, honestly. Maybe check back in once in a few years to see if it really was just immaturity and they’ve grown out of it, but if you’re looking at your friends and thinking they’re shitty people? That’s usually a sign that you should be asking yourself if you really want to hang out with them any more.

  66. @CassandraSays, I’m with you on that advice. @aworldanonymous if your friends are that upsetting, are you staying friends with them because of history or because these are people you like to be around and you’re happy for others to think that you’re like them (because people tend to view anyone as being the same as the people one associates with)?

  67. Putting on much older person hat here, part of what seems to be happening to you, aworldanon, is that you’ve hit a developmental stage where you’ve changed, but the people around you either haven’t hit that stage yet or they’re never going to. It’s worth checking back in later to see if those people have experienced the same change you have and you can be close again, but it’s a fact of getting older that sometimes you just outgrow certain friends/groups of friends. It can suck sometimes, but it’s a reality.

  68. I guess, It’s weird, I’m actually more comfortable around the group of LGBT people I’ve just met at university in the past few months than I remember ever being with my extended group of friends I had in high school.

  69. I just generally feel more comfortable around my more recent friends who I just met, whom by sheer coincidence all happen to be LGBT is probably a better way of wording that.

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