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GirlWritesWhat on “The Necessity of Domestic Violence”: “I don’t really find too much [that's] seriously ethically questionable.”

Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:

Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.

I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.

Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.

But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:

I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.

Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.

She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:

Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.

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Posted on August 16, 2012, in antifeminism, antifeminst women, domestic violence, FemRAs, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, patriarchy, reactionary bullshit, reddit and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 742 Comments.

  1. is playing the role of Steele believes at least half of what they’re posting.

    Like a certain someone….

    *conspiracy goggles on*

  2. This DOES mean that MRAs understand that if it’s okay for a man to hit a woman as a relationship balance, it’s perfectly okay for a woman to hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated” right?

    No? Imagine that.

  3. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    Steele believes at least half of what they’re posting.

    But he posts so little of substance. Half of that is barely worth talking about.

  4. So why do you come here?

  5. I’m a little bummed that turned out to be Pell. He kept the trolling going for a day or so at relatively low levels, but his ego as usual just couldn’t stand not to be known.

    And that’s just really, really sad.

    If we’re making up titles we pretend to have I want to be the Procurator of Justice. Because it just sounds awesome.

  6. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    Damn it, I oversleep and miss an awesome meltdown.

    Welp, I’d better get back to my job as Senior Papal Supervisor. I tell you, if Benny Sixteen takes another ninety minute lunch, that’s going on his record.

  7. Back when MR*L was new, I claimed the title of Men’s Rights Space Pope.

    This has not lapsed. I got dibs.

  8. If Steele is a lulz troll then I would like to congratulate him on his very effective impersonation of a person who can’t write for shit.

  9. Well, if we’re making silly names for ourselves…I want to be known as Queen of the Bedly Goodness.

  10. What is a pillowinhell, anyway? I’m curious. I imagine it’s something along the lines of “People in hell want ice water,” only pillow is substituted for ice water.

  11. It stems from “I’m so tired I’d accept a pillow in hell, if the devil offered me one”.

    Chronic low energy here. Doctors say I’m the picture of health, but I’m telling you only the Greek god of Sleep could beat me in falling asleep.

  12. Dear MRAs,

    Please, do advertise that you enjoy assaulting people. Preferably within the earshot of law enforcement officers.

    Hell, I’ll buy you a T-shirt- “I’m an abusive asshole who doesn’t mind beating the shit out of people I think are weaker than I am because that makes me feel good about myself.”

    Hopefully this will lead to people (rightfully) not wanting to touch you with a ten foot pole. Or talk to you. Or, indeed, ever interact with you if they can at all help it.

    I don’t know if I’ve ever wished that Reddit MRA Island would actually HAPPEN more than I do at this moment.

  13. OMG pell is back? MUST GO UPDATE THE BIOGRAPHY

  14. Girlwriteswhat is apparently having some people calling the DMCA on her head and everybody is blaming PZ Myers and Freethought Blog. Because obviously it’s the “atheist bullies” who never heard of her that are involved, and not somebody who might have gotten peeved at her defending indefensible shit like, I dunno, domestic violence.

  15. And it couldn’t possibly be someone who got put in the hospital by one of her loyal followers, could it?… Nah, one of those eevil libruls did it.

  16. Pillowinhell, try the following:

    1. B-12
    2. Iron tabs
    3. Cuban coffee, alternated every two times with
    4. Sangria.

  17. And I wasn’t there for it. There is no justice in the world. This, however, is fantastic:

    And I wouldn’t believe the bs David tells you about traffic. I have a keylogger on his webhost’s server and this Blob is full of shit. He must count every comment as a hit when he came up with that 5 m LOL number. What a loser.

    Ignore me if someone already mentioned it, but a keylogger logs, um, keys. If you installed one on a server, it wouldn’t pick up anything because servers don’t even have keyboards.

  18. Ah, Cliff had it covered.

  19. @ katz

    He also installed a pedometer on David’s chair, because he’s just that much of a genius.

  20. He also installed a magnet on David’s shoe so he can tell when David leaves the house.

  21. And since I also missed the “big moths” conversation, this one wants to give you a kiss.

  22. Is it in bad taste if I mention the fact that the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word “pedometer” is some sort of measuring device to calculate the amount of pedophiles in the general area?

  23. Reynardine, as internet advice goes… I LIKE IT!

    Eight out of six minor daemons of Pandemonium reccommend Reynards Cure for all that ails you!

  24. He installed a sphygmomanometer on David’s cats to monitor their taurine levels.

  25. He put an anemometer on a satellite to measure solar wind.

  26. Just to recap, Lawgirl/Pell is a Doctor Lawyer Hacker who is a major shareholder in… the internet? I don’t know, their post wasn’t very clear on that point. Also they have been to Russia dozens of times and I guess never saw any women actively being beaten in front of them, thus proving that there is no domestic violence in Russia at all. Sounds legit to me!

  27. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    He connected a chronometer to a thermometer and put it under a bridge to time troll meltdowns

  28. Technically though I guess a pedometer would be a device to measure the number of *children* in the general area.

    Word rootz, Iz unnerstandz em.

  29. He put a Geiger counter on the DNS to monitor how many HTMLs David uploads.

  30. When he wants a drink he checks the barometer.

  31. He uses a spirometer to check for corrupt vice presidents!

  32. He has a magnetometer so Ian McKellan can’t sneak up on him.

  33. He uses a sextant to look for PUAs.

  34. And a manometer to detect the presence of misandry.

  35. @Cliff

    I misread magnetometer for manginameter.

    He uses a manginameter to check for male feminists.

  36. The fact that a manginameter doesn’t exist is all the proof we need of misandry. Still, I am glad we have the manometer to measure it scientifically.

  37. “and even pushing needles under their nails are among them.”

    Holy shit, are you with the Spanish Inquisition? o.O

  38. Holy shit, are you with the Spanish Inquisition? o.O

    Betcha didn’t expect that!

    …I’m sorry, I had to, I think there’s a nerd law somewhere

  39. and as part of that thread…

    Oh Ferdinand understands game principles I assure you.
    The most alpha thing you can do when a bitch is shit testing you is smack her, and boy will her loins get frothy.
    Women understand pain. When a man has the right to dish out pain when a woman misbehaves, guess what? She stops misbehaving so much. She stops starting fights. She stops initiating violence. She respects his authority. She behaves. She stops it with the antics, somewhat.
    When a man doesn’t have that right? Well, you have the world today, where the female can do anything she wants to the husband and the kids, and he has almost no recourse unless he wants to end up in jail. Everything he does to attempt to “control” women is “abuse”.
    And that’s the whole point of feminism: remove male power. Complain whenever a man tells a woman to do something, even when it’s for her own benefit. Slut Walk to complain when a police officer makes a suggestion he feels may protect women from rape. Call it “abuse” when a man takes care of the money at home so the woman doesn’t spend it frivolously. Etc. etc.
    If it’s okay to discipline your children when they misbehave, why not your woman when she misbehaves like a child too?
    When men are forced by society to tolerate women’s misbehavior, it only gets worse, it only becomes harder for a man to control the relationship for both their benefits. That’s the point Ferdinand makes. But watch white knight “MRAs” call me a wife beater for daring to even bring up the topic for discussion and evaluation.

    i know i have been warned about him but reading is believing

  40. sorry, was quoting JeremiahGuy

  41. I hate these people with the passion of a million burning suns. And sometimes you don’t see it coming. I certainly didn’t.

    A friend and I had been discussing paranormal things, ghosts, etc at the bar. It was her, me, and my boyfriend at the time. He was ignoring us, or so I thought. It wasn’t until we left the bar that he got pissy at me, which then broke out into a verbal fight, all over the fact that I believe in ghosts. I “should have known better”. And to prove his point very thoroughly, he kicked me near the knee, so hard, in fact, that when I woke up the next morning, I had a bruise that went from just under my knee to my ankle.

    I did not have sex with him after that. In fact, I spent the night in bed alone with a knife contemplating suicide. I was not inclined to have sex with him for quite awhile after that.

    This is also leaving out the fact that I treated to yelling and screaming if I didn’t have an orgasm, as if that was my fault or something, despite the fact that I repeatedly warned him that sometimes, I just don’t. And really, he even knew about the previous boyfriend that held me against him and rubbed against me so that he’d get off while I cried silently. (Of course, that was never one of the reasons that the LegKicker would theorize upon. It was always something else that was my fault.)

    What really pisses me off about the whole thing was that some of our friends claimed to be psychics. And he willingly hung out with them and even had a huge crush on one. He didn’t even argue with them about their beliefs!

    “Corrective action”? I still believe in ghosts, so there. I just don’t talk about it unless I know the person very, very well.

    Diagram Jail

    I am TOTALLY naming a band this. If not a band, then something.

  42. I hate these people with the passion of a million burning suns. And sometimes you don’t see it coming. I certainly didn’t.

    This. These people are filthy abusive sacks of flesh (especially Jeremiah) That whole thread is all about how women’s bad behavior needs correcting like you would do a dog that misbehaves, and what oh what shall the menz do if they can’t slap a woman into shutting up? yet in another thread again they’re discussing how DV is equal and those horrible women for slapping men etc. Well since it’s no biggie to them to use mild “corrective” violence on women like a slap in the face or mouth and they’re all about equality then surely they have no problem with women using some corrective violence on men then? fair is fair.

    Oh wait NO. Only women must be punished when they “misbehave” because they are inferior! That right there is telling at how we are not viewed as equal human beings. Women are on par with children…hell not even children, more like on par with a misbehaving pet. Its revolting. I hope for their sakes they never lay a hand on any woman because not all of us will cower when hit. Many of us will fight back if physically attacked, myself included. And I know MRAs will try and misconstrue what I say as starting violence. No. If a man hits me because he believes that will make me obey him, he is getting hit back. They claim self defense all the time, well the same goes for women.

    I hope these people rot. I’m honestly even surprised GWW could sink this low. This is the type of shit that breeds actual real misandry in some women out there.

    Abusers lobby. Plain and simple. Even on days when I try to consider their POV on men’s issues, to look at things from another angle, I will remember the shit like this. This is the rot that will kill the MRM before it even has the chance to become something (that is if you look at it in a framework as something legitimate, which it’s not) even my brother who browses reddit tells me r/MR is considered a joke/circlejerk on there. These feMRA freaks are no different. How much do you have to hate yourself and womanhood to stoop to such a level? I mean, I have yet to see even one of those *dreaded male feminists agree that girlfriends/wives mildly correcting bad male behavior can be warranted to prevent worse abuse.

    *sarcasm btw, just in case it’s not clear.

  43. dammit! and I so rarely mess up blockquotes….must be all the disgust I have for them right now.

  44. BTW, AbsintheDexterous, I’m sorry you had to deal with such a messed up fuckwit. Who the hell gets physically violent because someone believes in ghosts?

  45. oh and I mean all the disgust I have for MRAs, not disgust for blockquotes. As far as I know they don’t advocate beating…oh sorry…”disciplining” women.

  46. When he wants a drink he checks the barometer.

    He uses a spirometer to check for corrupt vice presidents!

    He has a magnetometer so Ian McKellan can’t sneak up on him.

    He uses a sextant to look for PUAs.

    I love you people.

  47. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Wow. This is the most amazing (in good and bad ways) thread. I’ve only known this site for a couple of weeks. I love the way you regulars take down the trolls and the MRAs in general: you’re fiercely witty and alarmingly well educated and it’s a pleasure to read y’all (spirometer has to be my favourite from this little lot). I’ve also not encountered trolls quite so abysmally … abysmal, lol. Pell’s meltdown was something else. Mind-bogglingly vile but weirdly instructive, going from the “LawGirl” fakery and then showing the true colours (sort of the same shade as diarrhoea, really). The closest I’ve seen to this sort of stuff is the NiceGuy(TM) losers who have colonised the women’s pages on HuffPo. (I didn’t read RustyNail, sorry Steelepole’s, stuff: he’s dreary.)

    And the kittens. Knowing there will be kittens is reason enough to read here even if there were no other.

    Oh, and ancient history for the thread: that Dorothy Sayers quote from Gaudy Night refers, I think, to the threatening letters being left by a religous nutter whose husband had committed suicide. Very apt, because she blamed Evil Women Academics for killing her husband (he lost his job when his academic fraud was exposed). I love the Wimsey books. I missed half of what was going on in GN, haven’t the background knowledge, but loved the rest. :)

  48. how does she manage to write this crap with a straight face?

  49. This thread is unbeliavable…

    Anyway. Seems like the MRA:s have this straw feminism they’re arguing against who thinks that a man must never be ANGRY with a woman no matter what she does, he’s only allowed to ever smile and nod no matter what she does or he’s an emotional abuser. But that’s nobody’s opinion.

    Me and my husband rarely argues about anything. However, a few months ago this happened:
    We have four dogs, and we agree that they shouldn’t have to be home alone too long. We try to arrange things so they won’t have to be alone for more than six or absolutely tops seven hours. Anyway, this night my husband had left for work at four in the afternoon. I had been a speaker at a conference and had been away all day. In the evening, everyone speaking, commenting or arranging the conference were to have dinner together at a restaurant. However, at the restaurant, I forgot about time. Until I suddenly checked my watch and o shit, it’s eleven! And I have some distance to travel!

    Came home past midnight. My husband called. He hadn’t been able to reach me on my mobile since the battery had died.
    Husband (angry): Did you just come home?
    Me: Er… yes.
    Husband (angry): So the dogs have been home alone for more than eight hours! Did anybody piss on the floor?
    Me: Let me check… no.
    Husband (angry): Well that’s lucky!
    Me: I know I fucked up. I just forgot to check my watch, I was having such a good time. Sorry.
    Husband: Okay.

    Matter resolved.

    Of course it could just as well have been the other way around, the genders aren’t really essential here.

    The point is, that these MRA:s seem to believe that feminists would think that my husband emotionally abused me here, because he got angry over something I did. BUT NOBODY CLAIMS THAT. Nobody has ever said that “being angry=emotional abuse”. When you interact with other people, you can sometimes get angry. That’s NORMAL, and nobody disputes this. Now, what’s NOT normal is if he’d hit me when he eventually got home from work, or if he’d started belittling me by telling me how stupid and worthless I am or some shit like that to really scare me off from behaving like that in the future. But just being angry with somebody because that person has done something you’ve agreed on shouldn’t be done? That’s NORMAL; and nobody has disputed that.

  50. @karak86

    This DOES mean that MRAs understand that if it’s okay for a man to hit a woman as a relationship balance, it’s perfectly okay for a woman to hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated” right?

    No? Imagine that.

    If only that were actually the way it was. In reality, women get off scott free when they hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated”, and men have no way to defend themselves without being lambasted by accusations of DV and misogyny. When women abuse their men, people are more likely to cheer the woman on than offer assistance.

    Gotta love the lady that just assumes he had it coming.

    Oh, and let’s not forget an entire studio audience laughing at the oh, so hilarious topic of a guy getting his penis chopped off.

    Something tells me that if I went on TV and started laughing and joking about female genital mutilation with the justification that ”she probably deserved it” it wouldn’t go over so well.

    Even raising your voice at your wife can be considered DV now. And, the standard practice of police is to arrest the man even when the woman is the aggressor.

    So, I really think you are mistaken, but only somewhat. I am pretty sure they think it’s okay precicesly because there are a considerably number of women already doing all that shit

    hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated

    And so they believe that hitting back is justified.

    Honestly, I really don’t think women have a good concept of boundaries or crossing the line in agitating people because they never learned that lesson in school. If a boy starts getting into another boy’s face and won’t leave him alone he might have to face the consequences of violence. Boys are taught to never hit girls, and they rarely do(despite what you all see in your wacko feminist fantasies of epidemic DV sweeping across the nation at unparalelled rates fueled by the remaining subversive influence of the patriarchy!) Girls don’t usually hit guys either, but I think what a lot of men have a problem with is the double standard of men doing hard time for DV, and women often getting off with something like anger management classes.

    So where do we cross the line? If women and men are equal, at what point can a man retaliate?

    Is this justified?

    What if the initial aggressor(the smaller kid) was a girl(but a girl that can hit even harder than that kid, you know, because women are so strong, just as strong as men right?) Should that kid just stand there and take it? Run away and get bullied because he ran away from a girl?

    I believe that violence should only be used as a last resort, but I also think few of us can keep our cool in situations like that. I think the most ironic thing about some feminists(and MRAs) is that their complete lack of understanding and empathy for the other gender stems from either a lack of experience(which both groups almost always claim to have in spades) or (and sorry to hurt anyone’s feelings) a completely warped view caused by a single traumatic experience. Of course, this is just speculation though. As is 99% of feminist theory.

    My house was robbed by black people twice. I didn’t start to believe that black people are the only people that rob houses or that all black people rob houses . But some women think it’s fine to cheer on other women for chopping off guys’ dicks or beating on their husbands because maybe they had a bad experience in the past and guys probably deserve it because they are the only ones that do DV. I know, you are probably thinking ”I don’t think that way”, but that is how big feminism and the US Government act when they make laws about DV. I don’t remember whose comment it was, but they were saying that it’s so hard for women because sometimes the DV shelters are full. At least women get shelters. I think the reason a lot of MRAs are so angry about the DV issue is that most feminists won’t even recognize that it is an issue for men, and they fight tooth and nail to keep things like a men’s shelter from being built.

  51. @Balance: Can you give one single example of a guy who merely raised his voice, the woman called the police and he was arrested? And can you give a single example of a men’s shelter-project that were supported by MRA:s and opposed by feminists?

    I give you this: Lots of people don’t take woman-on-man violence seriously. It’s often treated as okay for a woman to slap a man, because, you know, she’s just a little woman, she couldn’t really harm anybody. However, the only people I’ve seen seriously discuss this problem are self-identified feminists: I think Ozy has written a piece about this, and two Swedish feminists called Hanna Fridén and Anna Svensson has written about it as well. There are probably many more examples.
    When MRA:s write about the matter however, it’s not so much about violence being wrong, as about “men should be allowed to hit women who hit them or merely are really annoying”, and that’s a whole other matter.

  52. @Balance — Every time you guys bring up the Becker case, you always link that exact same video of Sharon Osborne laughing about it. You know why? Because the vast majority of people were disgusted and appalled — not amused — by the story. So, you’re able to cling to your warped view “caused by a single traumatic experience” of seeing one woman laugh about it. Project much?

    Also, Catherine Kieu Becker is not “getting off scott free.” We don’t know what her punishment will be because her trial and sentencing haven’t happened yet. But she was indicted in January of this year, charged with a felony count of torture and a felony county of aggravated mayhem, and remains behind bars with a $1 million bail. The trial is set for September 24th and she faces life in prison.

    You’re full of shit when you say that women don’t understand boundaries. There have been women right in this thread discussing under what circumstances they were battered, but I doubt you even bothered to read those. You prefer to believe that men only hit after they’ve been endlessly “hen-pecked,” because to believe otherwise would mean admitting to yourself that you’re a complete piece of shit who gets off on seeing women get hurt.

  53. I see Balance dug up the same tired MRA DV talking points. Bored now.

  54. Besides, when somebody is a victim of emotional abuse I think it’s really rare for them to “defend themselves” through physical violence, simply because part of being an abuse victim is that you get into this mentality where you think everything is YOUR fault. I had a male friend who for some time had an emotionally abusive girlfriend. He’d never “defend himself” because he saw everything that happened as his fault, he just tried more and more to please her and adjust to her ideas. Me and my husband seriously tried to talk him into breaking up with her (I repeat: BREAK UP with her, not “defend himself” by hitting her), but he wouldn’t listen. Eventually she broke up with him, and like a year later or so when I’d repeat things she’d said to him he could finally agree that yeah, that was pretty abusive.

    If you can’t stand the behaviour of your partner: BREAK UP. And in a situation like the one I described above, the problem is that the abused partner is too intimidated to BREAK UP, not that the victim is too intimidated to “defend himself” with violence.

  55. Too long; didn’t read Balance’s illustrated screed.

  56. I think the reason a lot of MRAs are so angry about the DV issue is that most feminists won’t even recognize that it is an issue for men, and they fight tooth and nail to keep things like a men’s shelter from being built.

    Welcome to fantasyland everyone! Don’t eat the stripey berries, and watch out for the two-headed squirrelephant.

  57. Sweet suffering Jesus on a pogo stick! She really said that women need to take karate so they will be more compliant victims when they are beaten?

    There are no words. That’s the sort of shit I’m shunning Ruby because of. There really isn’t much Dave finds that sets my sense of outrage to the level of fury, but that; that pretty much takes the cake.

  58. And this guy is just stupid: In fact, it’s right there in the deginition: “Domestic violence and emtional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other.”

    Meaning a woman in a marriage can do whatever the hell she pleases…”

    Whut? Are women not person? Is there some secret clause in that sentence which says, “unless that person is a female”?

    So he’s stupid, or lying.

  59. ManUpManDown: Ok… While most MRAs, myself included, really like and admire GWW, and agree with a vast majority of what she says, nobody agrees with EVERYTHING she says. As such, she does not represent all or most MRAs when she says something that is, or seems if read in a way she did not intend it to be read, very controversial.

    Prove it.

    Show us that “most MRAs” disagree with this philosophy. It ought to be easy. Just find the “equalists” who condemn it, and show them. Show the people who tell the “traditionalists”† they are full of shit?

    Because these “moderates” I keep hearing about, seem to be doing fuck all to moderate The Movement. If they were, I’d be a lot more accepting of the argument that, With that said, despite what ManBoobz would have you believe, a vast majority of MRAs are equalists (progressives who would be feminists were it not with the glaring and chronic problems with feminism).

    Because it’s not that I want to believe the MRM is full of nothing but fuckwits, liars and apologists, it’s just that; in lots of looking, I don’t see many, if any, who aren’t.

    Look at Varpole/Butthorn/Steele, who hated on Tom Martin, said he was a vile person, not fit to lick the shoes of a real MRM; declared him anathema.

    That lasted two weeks. Then it was all as if the advocacy of punishing child prostitutes and forgiving the men who use them had never happened.

    For those of you who really want to understand what MRM is about, I encourage you to be more open-minded and not judge the movement based on occasional anecdotes from sites like this. It’s easy to be dismissive and glib around a bunch of folks who already think the way you do; but it’s more constructive to expose your world-view to meaningful challenge.

    That’s glib, but facile. You presume, on the basis of nothing, that we know nothing of the MRM but what we read here. Then you tell us the wealth of posts here are just the outlying fringe.

    Ok ManUp, show us the evidence. Where do we go to find the non-reactionary, not women-hating MRM? Link to them, rub our noses in the error of our ways.

    I dare ya.

    † Interesting that you choose the slightly positive connotative word, “traditionalist,” rather than the more negative, “reactionary” or slightly more neutral, “conservative, socially” to describe them.

  60. Oh my God. How hard is it to understand the concept that “you don’t hit people you love”? The solution to another person’s nagging, bullying, whatever else these idiots are claiming that all women in relationships do is a swift dumping, not battery. An emotionally healthy person who is not a piece of shit is not going to want to control their partners’ behavior, either through “nagging” or through a swift smack. Emotionally healthy people solve relationships that are making them unhappy and where there is no sign of change through leaving, NOT through abuse.

    (Please note that I am not contrasting leaving to staying, as there are so many reasons why it can be difficult to leave an abuser, and nobody should be judged for having difficulty leaving a situation designed to trap them into staying. I’m contrasting leaving with active abuse).

  61. Balance, please show me where MRAs are fighting tooth and nail to get DV shelters for men built. You all can’t even arrange a meetup, much less a couch-surfing network for men who might need it.

  62. @pecunium
    “Just find the “equalists” who condemn it, and show them.”

    This from a guy whose very first words are, “Sweet suffering Jesus on a pogo stick!”

    Find me the equalist feminists who ridicules any faith other than Christianity. Better yet, find me a feminist who condemns ridiculing Christianity. Aren’t you progressive! Look at me everyone, I make Jesus jokes, I’m so edgy! If you fired up with Jewish or Muslim slurs you’d be screamed at by the equalists who reside here.

    Don’t fret. No one here will dare criticize you because they all share the same sentiment. On the manboobz animal farm, the pigs consider themselves quite superior.

  63. @Hellkell

    Balance knows that rather than setting up refuges for men, MRAs have been actively trying to get existing (women’s) ones shut down. And feminists are like, superbad so they must have been doing the same thing, but more.

  64. NatFantastic: that’s what pisses me off. Not only do they try to get women’s shelters shut down, but they think they need multi-zillion dollar men’s shelters, when the reality is they could help other men very simply. But we all know that being a keyboard warrior and internet badass is so much easier.

  65. watch out for the two-headed squirrelephant.

    Pfft. I have Power Attack.

  66. Like, they make an ass out of themselves at a party and the host asks them to leave and they refuse to go?

    No, they do leave, but then they come back in ten minutes later wearing a top hat and comically enormous fake moustache as a cunning disguise.

  67. (If you think this is giving them too much credit, imagine the moustache has ‘ACME FAKE MOUSTACHES’ embossed across the front of it.)

  68. If the MRM would really spend their energy campaigning for a men’s shelter and supporting male victims of DV that would be great. I mean, it IS a problem that men have trouble being taken seriously when they’re victims of DV because a real MAN wouldn’t have that kind of trouble to start with… And it would be great to have an MRM that makes something productive rather than just bitching about evil feminazis.

  69. Clarification: It’s not MY position that a “real man” (whatever that is) can’t be the victim of DV, but there’s this widespread idea in our culture that this is the case.

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