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The Thinking Housewife: Olympic women athletes too athletic

Sure, America’s women athletes may have taken home a whopping 29 gold medals, but over on The Thinking Housewife, Laura Wood is pissed off at them – and the rest of the Olympic women — for being so, well, athletic.

In a recent post, Wood rushes to the defense of a Turkish newspaper columnist who complained about the “broad-shouldered, flat-chested women” who were destroying Womanhood with their mannish, muscular bodies. Alas, wrote Yuksel Aytug, even their “breasts – the symbol of womanhood, motherhood – [were] flattened into stubs as they were seen as mere hindrances to speed.” Curse you, sports bras!

Seriously, in future Olympics, female athletes should face mandatory deductions for every cup size less than C.

Wood adds her own two cents:

A man who dares to say what every normal person has been thinking when confronted with the muscle-bound female gladiators at the games and what soft, effeminate Western men would not dare articulate, Aytug has been attacked for his remarks throughout the Western world. He is tiresomely accused of misogyny. In fact, judging from these words, he is an admirer of women, a courageous defender of them.

Or at least of their tits.

The Olympic Games are anti-woman. They require female athletes to ape men in grotesque ways. They compromise female fertility and modesty. They promote the idea that aggression and competitiveness in women are normal and healthy. They debase not just women athletes but womanhood throughout the world.

Well, I suppose Wood can take solace in the fact that the “muscle-bound” bodies of these “female gladiators” didn’t stop the Pedophile – sorry, Ephebophile – Army of Reddit from perving on McKayla Maroney and the rest of the US Women’s Gymnastics team.

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Posted on August 14, 2012, in antifeminism, antifeminst women, disgusting women, misogyny, reactionary bullshit, reddit and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 134 Comments.

  1. the twisted spinster

    On the other hand, Mrs. Wood is totally not competitive or aggressive at all. She’s just a sweet, soft, womanly woman.

    And this: “they debase woman athletes” — wait a minute. Just what? How are what women do in the Olympics any different from any other sports that female athletes participate in? I don’t know what she means and I don’t think she does either, she’s just kvetching because the Olympics happened to be on.

  2. howardbann1ster

    So if a woman pumps iron it undermines the purpose of her body, makes her less womanly.

    If a man pumps iron, it makes him more essentially man-like.

    ….there’s something in here. It’s like logic, but not. It hurts my head.

  3. They compromise female fertility

    well, that explains the constant references to kerri walsh taking time off to have a kid between beijing and london

    actually, fun fact, when the olympics were coming to atlanta my school’s gym teacher was training a woman who should have been an olympic class weightlifter, and they were part of the push to get the event added. tt came down to that or beach volleyball, i remember him telling us that part of the reason the ioc gave was that ‘women look more presentable in bathing suits’

  4. Turkey is more western than Israel, but of course, is excluded from the club on grounds of not being run by white people. I guess it’s nice to see her ‘defend him’ though, while insulting him.

    Also, ‘what everyone else was thinking’? I don’t give a shit that they don’t have hourglass figures. Why should I or anyone else =.=;

    Also, wtf. ‘compromise womanhood’? Because… you say so? Because you say fertility is dropped? Christ on a stick XD

  5. They promote the idea that aggression and competitiveness in women are normal and healthy.

    Whereas blogging about how all those women who aren’t you are disgusting and terrible, unlike you, promotes…kindness and humility? Something doesn’t sound quite right there…

  6. She does know that just because female athletes exist it doesn’t mean other types of women don’t right? I mean all the other types of women aren’t negated just because some women train hard to accomplish extraordinary feet’s of athleticism.

  7. Okay, so basically: “Why every woman should be a housewife just like me, Part MDXXXV.”

  8. Oh, Wood you are extremely aggressive. Why don’t you delete your blog and dedicate yourself to cross stitch, will ya?

  9. I wish the Thinking Housewife would stop trying to think. It’s never good.

  10. Did she time travel from the 1800s or something? Seriously, I don’t know anyone who talks about “womanhood” unless it’s to make a joke. Yeesh.

  11. Oh, Turkey, land of Cüneyt Arkın, as far as I’m concerned you can “become white” a la Noel Ignatiev any time!

  12. Pro-woman Olympic events, apparently:

    Sewing
    Knitting
    Pirouetting
    Cleavage-pressing
    Loving a male athlete competing in the Olympics from one’s kitchen

  13. I’m sure she thinks it’s better to be married to a male Olympian, ala her drivel about astronauts. I’m sure she thinks these athletes train just to meet men.

  14. drst: I’d totally use the word ‘womanhood’ if I was writing slightly overblown smut, as the obvious counterpart to manhood.

    … Now I think about it, that does have some unfortunate implications.

    Ah well. Meatscepters and lovepockets it is.

  15. Oh man. Talk like this is what made life miserable for me when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I never developed womanly curves and have what is delightfully called a “boy shape”. I spent too many years feeling bad about myself thinking that I wasn’t womanly enough until one day I realized how strange it was for people to spend that much time worrying/thinking/talking about my shape and the shape of other women that might not fit into their ideal.

    But it does get my blood pressure rising even now to hear/read comments like this [the housewife's] because I know there could easily be some girl or young woman out there who may internalize it and feel a bit worse about her self. And I worry about having daughters of my own and whether I’ll be able to do a good enough job to help them feel good about themselves and their bodies when asshats like this woman exist in the world.

    Though I will add that having found manboobz and coming here daily to read the conversation here does give me hope as well as much enjoyed adorable animal videos : )

  16. Oh nooooo!!!! My smile fell off!!

  17. creativewritingstudent

    Well. It seems that she thinks that a) women aren’t worth more that their bodyshapes and motherhood potential b) having small boobs makes you an unfit for motherhood* and c) she’s a not nice person.

    Well, c) is my opinion, but maybe she’ll become self-aware.

    * so many things wrong with that notion… She Fails Biology Forever

  18. Every time I see a quote like this:

    breasts – the symbol of womanhood, motherhood

    I want to scream. I don’t have much in the way of breasts, it’s just the way I’m built and a trait that runs in my family. My breasts, or lack thereof, do not define me as a woman and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

  19. These attention seeking little rants by people who are mad at women who used their body for something other than a penis receptacle are almost cute compared to the actual violating crap Olympics committees require of women who have high amounts of natural testosterone in their bodies. They are requiring they undergo hormone therapy to be allowed to compete. No one is demanding naturally tall people hunch over or naturally keen sighted people wear dirty contacts or whatever. But testosterone- totally a dude thing, regardless of our biological makeup.

  20. My breasts, or lack thereof, do not define me as a woman and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

    Heaven forbid the Thinking Housewife should ever have to get a mastectomy. She’ll have to start wearing jeans! Because she doesn’t have breasts anymore, therefore she can’t be a woman, therefore she must be a man. Maybe then she can live her dream and become an astronaut-gymnast.

    Lord save me from people who think appearance always defines existence!

  21. howardbann1ster

    Oh, Turkey, land of Cüneyt Arkın, as far as I’m concerned you can “become white” a la Noel Ignatiev any time!

    I actually had to think about this for a second to interpret it. Good work on the crypto-horribleness!

    “Oh, Turkey, land of [actor who has a following], as far as I’m concerned you can “become white” a la [scholar who shows how the Irish in America eventually gained white privilege and began punching down] any time!”

    Hmm, yes, that’s right, you don’t believe in white privilege. Thanks for the reminder.

  22. They compromise female fertility

    Well lessee here…
    Florence Griffith Joyner aka Flo Jo had a daughter.
    Gwen Torrance had two kids-boy and a girl.
    Evelyn Ashford had at least one daughter.
    Wilma Rudolph had four kids.

    Lots of women had both an athletic career AND babies. So no, it does not compromise female fertility.

    It does however compromise the Thinking Housewife’s assumptions about the world so she has to kind of ignore that.

  23. actual violating crap Olympics committees require of women who have high amounts of natural testosterone in their bodies. They are requiring they undergo hormone therapy to be allowed to compete.

    Wait, what?

    This isn’t some kind of hold-over or consequence of the stereotype that the Russian women’s team are so hormoned they’re practically men, is it?

  24. @TheMcGee, I couldn’t agree more. I have a somewhat boy-shaped body too, and the same anxieties about it. (I pretend I’ve gotten over them, but as I get older and into a potentially child-bearing stage of life, I find they have been transformed into worries about my fertility. Women with straight hips aren’t man-monsters, right? They sometimes have babies, right?) This kind of stuff makes me angry for every vulnerable young straight-waisted woman out there.

  25. Not suprisingly, there’s comments on her linked article (the Daily Mail one) from men informing the author that “You’re Wrong Because My Penis Says So.”

  26. @PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth,

    Yes. And what about Nur Suryani Mohammed Taibi who competed(?)/will compete(?) [haven't been following the games] in the 10 meter air rifle event while pregnant? Wonder how TTHW will be able to make that fit.

    What an incredible story for her baby though, huh? I imagine her at school “Yeah…I was totally at the Olympics”.

  27. @earthfae

    God, no, not cross-stitch! Cross-stitch is a wonderful, relaxing art form and SHE CAN’T HAVE IT!

  28. Yes. And what about Nur Suryani Mohammed Taibi who competed(?)/will compete(?) [haven't been following the games] in the 10 meter air rifle event while pregnant? Wonder how TTHW will be able to make that fit.

    I did not know that (I just googled “women medal winners” and followed the links on Wikipedia.)

    So yes, fertility is not harmed AT ALL by women being all sensible about diet and exercise.

  29. And now I just realize that I have decided that the lovely Olympian I mentioned is having a daughter. I can’t find any article where she refers to the baby as a boy or a girl. So I take that back and replace it with: I imagine that kid at school “Yeah…I was totally at the Olympics.

  30. @ Falconer- Remember that runner Caster Semenya from the last Olympics who was in killer shape and everyone said ‘omg, she’s a dude’ and got all out of gear? And she had the pleasure of finding out she was hormonally ‘intersexed’ along with the entire fucking world? Apparently, even though biological sex isn’t as goddamn black and white as sexist fuckwits who adore the gender binary seem to believe despite there being Over-fucking-whelming physical evidence to the contrary, the Olympic committee does not care for shit like Science and Reality. Therefore, they are determined to force every female athlete who doesn’t conform to social standards of biological femininity to chemically alter their actual biological make-up and reverse what is a completely healthy and natural hormonal balance. And to answer the question you may or may not have asked, no, hormonal intersexedness is not always athletically advantageous. Ever have a hormone shot? Depo provera? Anything? ow did you feel when people started to fuck around with your chemistry? if you are like the majority of women who suffer side effects from medication designed to regulate your hormones, I doubt you felt too much like winning gold medals.

    Sorry for the block of text, but I can’t even paragraph I’m so angry.

  31. @princessbonbon,

    I don’t know if you came across it but there was this really wonderful article I read before the games started where the journalist was asking her how her pregnancy was affecting her training or how it might affect her during the event. She said that she was initially concerned about the baby kicking right when she was going to fire but she wasn’t worried anymore because during training she would talk to her baby saying something along the lines of: mom’s going to shoot now so just stay still for a minute. She says she’s they’ve worked quite well together.

  32. Whereas blogging about how all those women who aren’t you are disgusting and terrible, unlike you, promotes…kindness and humility? Something doesn’t sound quite right there…

    Passive-aggression is the ladylike aggression.

    I’m enjoying her “losing valuable boob weight turns you into a man” theory, but there’s such a rich historical trove of pseudo-science against women’s athletics she could delve into here. What about the terrible danger of women’s uteruses falling out if they jump up and down too much?

  33. Mom’s going to shoot now so just stay still for a minute.

    That’s the most badass sentence on God’s green earth.

  34. Oh goody, the marxists and their critical theory are out in full force.

    Critical of western values. Check.
    Critical of traditional femaleness. Check.

    Critical of sluts? Never!
    Critical of gays? Hell no!

    Do you offer any other than marxist critical theory? Hatred of anything white, western, Christian, traditionally male/female or normal is all you offer.

  35. @Shaenon,

    Yeah, I got the sentiment right but some of the details wrong. That’s what I get for summarizing something I read a while ago instead of just linking to the article which is here:

    http://www.examiner.com/article/pregnant-olympian-nur-suryani-mohd-taibi-competes-2012-olympic-games

    I guess the baby actually was kicking during the try outs or something.

  36. @Vitamin D: I had forgotten about Semenya, and I’m ashamed of it. It didn’t make that much of a blip on my radar at the time.

  37. I pretend I’ve gotten over them, but as I get older and into a potentially child-bearing stage of life, I find they have been transformed into worries about my fertility. Women with straight hips aren’t man-monsters, right? They sometimes have babies, right?

    On this point I am lucky that I have an aunt with a similar build who has been great about understanding my feelings and boosting me up about it. I tell you this because she has two boys and didn’t have any particular issues in getting pregnant, being pregnant, or delivering based upon her body shape. So YES, they sometimes have babies!

  38. I’d give a deal for every dreary bitch like this to get lockjaw and I wish none of them would have daughters to poison and oppress…ever.

  39. The McGee, that is a very sweet story that made me go awwww..

  40. @ Falconer- It got shoved to the back of my mind until I started searching for articles written in the 1900’s about female tennis players to see if Housewife was channeling the spirit of dead sexist reporters. Somehow that article made it into my results list. Apparently the search algorithm for infuriating and demeaning stuff done to women at the Olympics likes to keep the worst crap up top.

  41. Mom’s going to shoot now so just stay still for a minute.

    That’s the most badass sentence on God’s green earth.

    Yeah, it’s knocked out my long-time favorite.

  42. In fact, judging from these words, he is an admirer of women, a courageous defender of them.

    <(o_O)

    Of course he is.

    Sorry, I just can't evengraaaagshhm :(

  43. Marilyn Monroe never successfully carried a baby to term, and if I had a nickel for every “unfeminine” woman I’ve known who had a good-sized family, I could buy one of those little islands we were discussing

  44. Calm down Housewife, my normally flat-chested and very athletic big sis developed at least three sizes bigger boobs when pregnant, much to her surprise and slight annoyance, they did the job at the time – all normal and natural etc.

  45. What in hell have those women in the post illo have on the ends of their legs? ‘Cause they sure as hell ain’t feet.

    Did the artist ever see women athletes?

  46. Fuck it. I’m giving up on the drawing altogether. It is what it is, and there are other things I need my energy for.

  47. I love Jenna Marbles’ video reply to that initial author :) http://youtu.be/Ag4C0MFRnmE

  48. Look, hasn’t any big strong man told this knob to stop all her unwomanly yapping on the Internet and go do something useful like fix his dinner?

  49. creativewritingstudent

    I think they’re wearing… ballet shoes? Those things that flop-flop-flop on your feet then fall off when you run, and also allow your hips to feel like they’re being slammed onto your legs with every stride.

    There appear to be tiny out-of-proportion feet in each of the ballet flats.

  50. @creativewritingstudent: I’ve come to realize the joke doesn’t work with anything other than the kind of stylized caricature of women that the cartoon has. Not that “she’s ahead by a breast!” is a very funny joke, but it requires an unserious portrayal of women athletes because it’s about pandering to het men.

    So of course they’ve got ballet shoes on, and have sawn off their toes, and generally look like they’ve been inflated. Actual anatomical representation would harsh the glow for the (het male) reader.

  51. Not to mention their bubble butts and their frozen, zombie expressions.

  52. Remember, if something compromises your fertility, it makes you less of a woman, because the only value of a woman is her worth as a baby factory.

  53. Calling guys paedos because they find a 16 year old attractive is a little ridiculous. I guess Taylor Swift is a paedo because she was with the twilight and Kennedy kid before they were 18. Perhaps the female athletes could stop wearing next to nothing and maybe we would focus on their accomplishments instead of appearance.

  54. Oh! And the cartoon is about framing women athletes as unserious.

    See? It’s just shit all the way down, and it’s not worth my time.

  55. Monsieur sans Nom

    Wow, and thought it was mostly amurcan dudes who were obsessed with “tits”! A lot of female athletes, especially volleyball players and figure skaters, have gorgeous Booty’s.:) The whole idea of breasts as a symbol of womanhood seems to be very much a white nordic thing. Black and Latino culture almost never acknowledges womens chest and emphasizes the female posterior. But hey, I aint talking bout playboy, cuz silicone parts are made for toys!

  56. howardbann1ster

    Hey, MSN, you missed my response to your post the other day. Or you ignored it.

    Any comment?

  57. This is what happens when you read too much Vision Forum crap and manage to convince yourself that it’s 1890.

    (No, exercise/education/politics does NOT make women infertile. Sheesh.)

    And good point, darksidecat.

  58. Monsieur sans Nom

    Please repost your response howardbann1ster, and I’ll be happy to reply.

  59. NWO, stop yammering about Marxism (which you know jack about). The grown-ups are talking about athletes, along with what a complete toolshed the Thinking Housewife is.

  60. yeah, owlslave, ‘tits’ is a western value. that makes sense.

  61. “Tits” is a Western value — which is why, before the western Allies reconstructed their infrastructure in the 50s, Japanese women walked around topless all the time. Uh huh.

  62. You know what I like (hah) about Owly? He’s repetitive, but at least he changes his repetitions entirely once in a while.

  63. If she’s really made such miraculous peace with the unfairness of her situation, why does she need to evangelize about it so stridently? Why does everyone else have to live a sad, unfair life, too? You’d think antifeminist women would be content to have cornered the market on their special brand of downtrodden joy, and wouldn’t be so eager to convert everyone else so we can all compete to be under the thumbs of the same twelve SUPER ALPHA dudes.

  64. This is the same thing I don’t get about Susan Walsh. If your conservative life is so grand, why not hide it away for yourself and your friends? What investment do you have in me subscribing to your lifestyle?

  65. Oh goody, the marxists and their critical theory are out in full force.

    Here: Just for you.

    Oh goody, the marxists and their critical theory are out in full force.

  66. howardbann1ster

    Hmm, yes, I see that the link didn’t work.

    Dammit. I’ll be right back.

    Stupid kids and their stupid interwebs… HOW DOES IT WORK? IS IT MAGIC??

  67. Crap. I broke the Internet.

    Here’s the link:

  68. criticizing something is marxist, unless that something is an immodestly dressed woman or a homosexual.

  69. Monsieur sans Nom

    So if a woman pumps iron it undermines the purpose of her body, makes her less womanly.

    Well, it certainly does cause a decrease in estrogen and many women body builders who continue to pump iron cease having periods altogether. The word “womanly” is rather subjective so I wont comment on someone else’s personal opinion. But men and women are not physically equal and denying this won’t change a dayamn thang.

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