Roosh: Who needs orgasms, anyway?

Cat is not impressed with your PUA bullshit.

Pickup gurus write a lot about how to (allegedly) get sex, or how they (allegedly) got sex, but almost nothing about sex itself. It’s pretty clear that a lot of PUAs are more interested in the psychological manipulations and power games inherent in “game,” or in adding another notch to their score, than they are in the actual sex that sometimes results from all their efforts.

It goes without saying that most PUAs have little interest in their partners’ pleasure. In a post with the title It Doesn’t Matter If She Orgasms Or Not, pickup guru Roosh explained that once upon a time,

I used to try to last as long as possible in bed. I wanted to make sure the girl got hers before I got mine, and the reason I did that was because I thought she would be attracted to me more and want to see me again.

But, Roosh being the asshole he is, even this minimal level of consideration – which he extended to his partners for his own selfish reasons – turned out to be too much for him to keep up:

Gradually I just stopped caring, and soon everything I did in bed was for my pleasure only. The only reason I’d delay orgasm is to make mine better, and I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep. I did whatever I wanted because I came to value my orgasm as sacred, and her pleasure as second to mine.

Given that sex with him in was likely not such a great treat to begin with, he found that being completely selfish didn’t actually make the girls he was with like him any less.

Girls didn’t want to fuck me more, they didn’t want to fuck me less. Not caring about their sexual pleasure had no effect on repeat calls and repeat sex.

No wonder PUAs are so obsessed with very young women – they’re less likely to have experienced good sex, and more likely to be willing to put up with bad simply because they don’t yet realize how good sex can get.

Back in 2008 when he wrote that post, Roosh’s main sexual worry was coming too quickly; these days it seems he has trouble coming at all. Now, there are plenty of reasons why guys can’t orgasm – health conditions, prescription medicine side effects, everyday anxieties, decreased sensitivity with age, and so on. Guys shouldn’t pressure themselves into coming on demand, or feel bad if they can’t.

But Roosh actually seems to feel good about his inability to orgasm – because he’s learned to use this bit of sexual dysfuction as a handy tool to manipulate his partners further:

Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure. When I’m unable to come, which often happens with condoms (raw dog for life), I simply stop sex and say, “I’m not going to make it.” I can almost see her hamster spinning…

Is he not attracted to me anymore?

Is there something wrong with my vagina?

Should I give him a blowjob even though I don’t want to?

These are not the sorts of questions any straight man who’s not an utter creep wants his partner asking herself.

Roosh continues, gloating that his inability to orgasm

also shapes the power structure of the relationship. She knows that a man who doesn’t orgasm is more likely to stray to get that orgasm. As a result, she tests you less and does more things to win your favor.

Or she finds someone else who’s not a complete asshole, and moves on.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on August 1, 2012, in creepy, douchebaggery, kitties, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, PUA, rhymes with roosh, sex. Bookmark the permalink. 291 Comments.

  1. What does he propose for women who masturbate WITHOUT fingering themselves?

    I guess we’re doing it wrong?

    …err, no, just ‘masturbation’. I should have been more specific I guess…I’m pretty sure how women masturbate is one of the areas he is very open minded about, I don’t tend to fuck guys with hangups about female sexuality.

  2. ‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down) :D

  3. ‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down)

    “How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can’t even trust his own pants.”
    — Frank, Once Upon a Time in the West

  4. Best euphemism for masturbation (US-centric):

    Voting Republican.

    (Because it’s such a self-serving action. First time I heard it was from Susan Jane Gilman in “Kiss My Tiara.”)

  5. ‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down)

    You’ll notice that about the only thing Batman’s utility belt isn’t good for, is holding up his tights.

    Also? Just noticed in the Avengers movie, Captain America has a utility belt. What for? (See it here, if you can look past the caption.)

  6. Voting Republican.

    Wow, that’s a new one on me.

    The phrase that leaps to my mind is, “Roughing up the suspect,” but that’s pretty violent. I tend to prefer, “rubbing one out,” although somehow it seems like it’s coded female to me.

  7. Best euphemism for masturbation (US-centric):

    Voting Republican.

    (Because it’s such a self-serving action. First time I heard it was from Susan Jane Gilman in “Kiss My Tiara.”)

    I don’t understand how you could have possibly understood the innuendo. Also, I thought voting Republican was voting against one’s best interests.

  8. scrapemind: Not according to Jenna Jameson, who just endorsed Romney, saying, “Because when you are rich you want a republican in office.”

  9. And next time they go to the grocery store, he just might wonder why she keeps lingering in the cucumber section.

  10. I didn’t even know the “manosphere” or any formal “MRA” existed until recently. Since starting to lurk in their blogs, I’m apalled and amazed… frightened a bit, too… I’m glad I found your blog as a kind of “antidote.”

    Like you, I have been struck by the utter joylessness of the sex these guys (purport to) experience. Daryush Valizadeh is perhaps the best / worst example. Clearly erotic pleasure (his own as well as his partners’) is not his agenda.

    Because Mr. Valizadeh has made no attempt to keep his identity a secret, I am also struck by the hostility he is demonstrating toward his family, particularly his sister and mother (whom he purports to love). BTW, Mr. Valizadeh may have a U.S. passport, but his accent betrays his Iranian origins. I can’t help but wonder how much of his behavior is “acting out” against his cultural heritage as well.

    BTW, I have male and female friends / ex-lovers who are compulsive seducers, but what drives them is a need to validate their own charm and loveability, not a need to humiliate or denigrate or exploit their partners.

    Anyway, all very weird and scary stuff. Today’s equivalent I suppose of that Victorian pornographic classic, “My Secret Life.”

  11. Way late on this thread, but for what it’s worth (ha) I just say ‘pants’ – no clash there, anything worn outside is trousers or jeans in my lingo. I can’t abide cunt or pussy, in fact I’ve never heard any slang for female genitals that didn’t sound like a put-down (and yeah, I hate the way ‘pussy’ or ‘pussycat’ can’t be used about a cat/kitten without getting some slimy twit sniggering about it). I just say labia or vulva … NOT vagina, it’s not the same thing at all. Ditto for men, I think penis is a much better word than something like cock. My beloved and I just say man-parts and woman-parts if we’re looking for silly euphemisms. Or barking dog for him … don’t ask, I dont’ remember how we arrived at that one! :D

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