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A Voice for Men takes the last gravy train to Clicheville

Over on A Voice for Men, Paul Elam is knocking the clichés out of the park! In a post about … oh, something about feminists being about to get their big comeuppance, who the fuck cares, all his posts are pretty much the same at this point, he explains how the mean feminists’

gravy train is about to derail, and that right quickly. One set of wheels is already off the track. … the choo choo is hittin’ poo poo.

That’s right, the metaphorical feminist gravy train is metaphorically derailing into a metaphorical mountain of metaphorical poop.

After a few more paragraphs of this poopery, Elam offers up a bit of inspiration for his troops:

[T]he times they are a changing. The worm is turning and lies are burning. Their whole house of cards is about to go up in a puff. What you are seeing is just the desperation that comes with them waking up to it.

Believe me, it does my heart good. Just to see their frantic scrambling to point the finger at me and my brothers, while they comically pretend our sisters aren’t standing right next to us, every time one more their lies bites the dust, is an absolute highlight in my day.

Must be time to crank up the action around here.

And then he really kicks it into high gear:

Keep your eye on the ball, boys. Put the pedal to the metal.  Wake up and smell the coffee, feminists, because the shoe is on the other foot now!  We’re burning the candle at both ends  — because when the going gets tough the tough get going. What goes around comes around. Feminists and manginas, you made your bed, now you’re going to have to lie in it. The tide’s beginning to turn, all you gender ideologues and your lackeys at the SPLC, and it looks like there’s a new sheriff in town! Remember, nice guys finish last. And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings!

Ok, that’s not really Elam any more. That’s just a bunch of random clichés borrowed from Steve’s Cliché List, with some references to feminists and manginas and the Southern Poverty Law Center shoved in here and there.

Huh. I think I just figured out how Elam writes his posts.

EDITED TO ADD: For whatever reason, this post is no longer up at AVFM; here’s the Google cache version. Read the comments there too; quite a little shitstorm going on there.

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Posted on April 14, 2012, in a voice for men, antifeminism, block that metaphor, grandiosity, I am making a joke, MRA, paul elam, worst writing in the history of the universe. Bookmark the permalink. 261 Comments.

  1. And the feminist-fascist octopus has sung its swan song…

  2. Whelp… I guess we’re all looking at the last round up, because our spirits are willing, but the flesh is weak, so better to burn out than to rust, as we shuffle off to Buffalo, since it won’t play in Poughkeepsie.

  3. Yeah! Bolted together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse!

  4. Their whole house of cards is about to go up in a puff.

    So what, he’s talking about setting card houses on fire? Or using them in some sort of disappearing act?

  5. I seriously thought you’d made up the whole post, David, until I reread and realized the top two parts were real.

    Holy shit. I’m as surprised as a tin cat in a tiny forest of electric horse polishers.

  6. I once heard someone on the telly say a plan was “in cold storage on the back burner.”

  7. Does he huff glue and then maniacially cackle as he types his tripe?

  8. yourbirdcansing88

    “[T]he times they are a changing”

    Did he seriously just (ab)use a Bob Dylan quote to support his flimsy “argument” against women? Well, now, two can play at that game. Here’s what I think of Elam and his lack of relevance:

    “He’s sure got a lotta gall
    To be so useless an’ all.”
    –Bob Dylan, “Visions of Johanna”

  9. I do have to say though, that Paul Elam’s prognostication have caused me to be as worried as a Manx Cat in a Room Full of Rocking Chairs.

  10. I’m surpised he didn’t quote Zevon: “Send lawyers, guns, and money, the shit has hit the fan.”

  11. Clearly feminists are cruisin’ for a bruisin’ on the highway to the danger zone, ’cause they feel the need for speed, and they can’t drive 55.

  12. hey david, your link doesnt go anywhere and they appear to have taken that article off the front page

    i know i saw it a couple days ago, but yeah, it doesn’t appear to be there anymore

  13. What have you seen my manboobz son,
    what have you seen my darling young one

    i’ve seen MRA’s tongues a wagging
    but no feminists listening
    i’ve seen family courts corrupted
    but no feminsts caring
    i’ve walked 10,000 miles to champion the unexcusable
    i’ve leveled so many falsehoods
    I must appear delusional

    it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
    it’s a haaaarrrdddd rain a gonna fall

  14. What Sharculese means is, that link is deader than a doornail and the article gone with the wind. I’m sure you’ll get on it like white on rice to facilitate your lazy as molasses feminist base.

  15. I see mags admits to lying. i’ve leveled so many falsehoods
    I must appear delusional

    It’s not the lies that look delusional, it’s the things you think are true.

  16. pecunium, your interpretation might work if the song started, “what have you seen my ma99ie son….but, it doesn’t

  17. I see Mags has been bitten too. Go forth and spread the rhyming bug Mags. Maybe Elam and Price’ll be a little more entertaining in verse

  18. thanx shadow,

    i just somebody mention dylan and thought i’d contribute.

  19. theLaplaceDemon

    I don’t think a better MRA parody could be written. Thanks, Paul Elam! Always good to have a sense of humor!

  20. Ok, it’s not you. But the speaker admits to telling lies.

    And the speaker is an MRA, or supporter.

  21. Quoted from OP: “Just to see their frantic scrambling to point the finger at me and my brothers, while they comically pretend our sisters aren’t standing right next to us, every time one more their lies bites the dust, is an absolute highlight in my day.”

    Well, obviously they had to remove the post, since there he calls some women “our sisters.” And everyone knows, there are no good women anywhere on the earth.

  22. Ah… I see, you are trying to make it a case of someone from manboobz, not someone coming to.

    Ok, what are these falsehoods?

    What are these things feminists “don’t care about” (as opposed to don’t share your conclusions on)?

    What is is we aren’t listening to?

    Recall that to listen isn’t to agree (see Ruby, to whom we have listened, even as she has refused to extend the same curtesies).

    It’s not that we don’t hear you. It’s that we don’t agree.

    It’s not that we don’t see problems, is that the solutions the MRM demands are inequitable; more inequitable than the present wrongs.

    So go ahead, pull the other one.

  23. So the second stanZa of maggies ditty is not the response from the party addressed in the first line?

    hahah big debate on mags dylan impression.

  24. @indifferentsky

    It reads to me like the first stanza is addressed to manboobz, and the second stanza is a response from manboobz

  25. Take the last train to cliches
    And I’ll show up on the front page
    I will be there for a few days
    Til they yank me off the stage
    Don’t flame me, oh no no no!
    Oh no no no!

    ‘Cause I’m trolling in the morning
    And I must get on the Boobz
    I’ll give them things to talk about
    And light fires on the Tubes
    Now don’t flame me, oh no no no!
    Oh no no no!
    And I doubt I’ll be back this way again.

  26. BTW @ David

    The link says I hate Dr Tara. Was he claiming that feminists hate Dr Tara, or was he attacking her? I thought she was one of their ilk. One of their “sisters” as it were 8-)

  27. @Falconer

  28. My my! Does this mean the MRAs are busier than a one-legged man in an asskicking contest?

    Them boys is ’bout as sharp as a cue ball.

  29. Feminists and manginas, you made your bed, now you’re going to have to lie in it.

    I did just this morning, actually. Slept wonderfully, despite my back acting up again, and then had other fun activities in it. I’m glad you approve!

  30. Weird that they took the post down. I wonder if there was something scandalous in it that I missed. I really didn’t read it very carefully becuase, well, life is short and Paul Elam posts are long. And they’re all pretty much interchangable at this point. But it did exist! The quotes are real!

    https://www.google.com/search?q=times+they+are+a+changing.+The+worm+is+turning+and+lies+are+burning.+Their+whole+house+of+cards+is+about+to+go+up+in+a+puff.+&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

    As for the “I hate Dr. Tara,” he was being sarcastic; he was defending himself against charges of misogyny by pointing out that there are several women he likes and that like him back.

  31. Just to clarify, the first two red quotes really are from his post; only the last one is me.

  32. And, yes, he was talking about setting a house of cards on fire rather than just, you know, knocking it over.

    Now I wonder if anyone has set a house of cards on fire. Off to youtube ….

  33. Yes, someone has set a house of cards on fire.

  34. i like how the one kid is like ‘that’s insane. that’s sick.’

    you guys set some cardboard on fire, it’s not exactly the hindenburg explosion.

  35. And it was some pretty simply arranged cardboard.

    PIkers.

  36. MRAs can’t write for shit. That’s right. I said it.

  37. I still don’t really understand… exactly what form is this “comeuppance” going to take? All feminists rounded up at gunpoint to serve as slaves in their underground man caves?

  38. MRAs can’t write for shit. That’s right. I said it.

    I’d really appreciate MRAs finding an editor that is actually good; on their best days, they’re nowhere near good enough to justify not having one. And their ‘best days’ are appallingly rare (Speaking strictly of writing quality; they always suck at content)

  39. Since it’s inception, the MRM has been declaring imminent or actual victory. MRAs do it constantly and on the flimsiest of evidence – Zarat’s victory parade due to upvotes in an English newspaper, for example. Elam’s post just continues in that similar vein.

    It’s actually really pretty sad. The last 4 weeks have seen the SPLC expose, the non-happening of “Sink Misandry” and the Tom Martin fiasco. Only the delusional could experience this humiliations and still claim victory. Step forward the MRM!

    AVFM and, to a lesser degree, the Spearhead use hits on their website as proof of their popularity. That many people visit their sites for amusement, to be horrified or directed from this (and other) sites seems to escape them. I for one no longer access any of their blogs, especially AVFM. I think it encourages them just a little too much – they need an audience (not knocking anyone that does visit though).

    When I first stumbled across MRAs on the ‘net, I was worried. Now I have a range of concerns about MRAs, but more about what kind of people are in society, not about whether they will actually change anything: they won’t. Their own words damn them,

  40. AVFM and, to a lesser degree, the Spearhead use hits on their website as proof of their popularity.

    Because we all know popularity is a good standard for truth.

    That many people visit their sites for amusement, to be horrified or directed from this (and other) sites seems to escape them.

    Sounds an awful lot like creationists, particularly incompetents like VenomfangX and Nephilimfree. Both in their heyday used the whole “I have more subscribers!” trope, oblivious that people subscribed to their channels just to laugh at them.

    I for one no longer access any of their blogs, especially AVFM. I think it encourages them just a little too much – they need an audience (not knocking anyone that does visit though).

    They have flocks upon flocks of sheep on YouTube. That audience will suffice.

  41. My question is:
    Do the guys that right for these sites talk this way when not speaking in the protected guise of annonimity of the Internet? Would they actually tell a group of women that the “feminist gravy train” is about to derail or do they just think it, loudly, and then “squish” their heads with their forefingers and thumb from a very safe distance?

    One more question:
    Is there actually a feminist gravy train? If so, I would love to see it! It sounds rad.

  42. link to the AVFM article is currently broken , but I think I recall the article you mean , about Coquette’s ad hominem attack MRA that failed to address any aspect of gender equity. Like her you seem only able to criticise the person or their style but never the substance.

    Oh and Maya, a substantial part of manboob’s and other feminist’s site’s traffic are MRA’s scoping the latest “intelligence” so site traffic is a “gender” equitable indicator.

  43. Like her you seem only able to criticise the person or their style but never the substance.

    Totally so. David NEVER manages to criticize the substance of MRA posts/comments. Every Man Boobz post ever = “Elam is fat lol.”

  44. link to the AVFM article is currently broken , but I think I recall the article you mean , about Coquette’s ad hominem attack MRA that failed to address any aspect of gender equity. Like her you seem only able to criticise the person or their style but never the substance.

    Futrelle and the other users here and in the Free Forum criticize the substance of MRA arguments all the time. You are either blind or dishonest not to see that.

    Oh and Maya, a substantial part of manboob’s and other feminist’s site’s traffic are MRA’s scoping the latest “intelligence” so site traffic is a “gender” equitable indicator.

    Please speak English next time you pretentious shitwit.

  45. Totally so. David NEVER manages to criticize the substance of MRA posts/comments. Every Man Boobz post ever = “Elam is fat lol.”

    Because MRAs NEVER make puerile and shallow comments about how ugly and fat feminists are at all.

  46. Oh and Maya, a substantial part of manboob’s and other feminist’s site’s traffic are MRA’s scoping the latest “intelligence” so site traffic is a “gender” equitable indicator.

    Haha, that’s rich. So your traffic is all MRAs and soon-to-be MRAs, and feminist traffic is all MRAs. You guys have a way inflated opinion of your do-nothing movement, let me tell you what XD

  47. from that article

    In fact, if you ask a blogger named Coquette, who recently had her work posted to The Daily, my hatred of women is the only thing that drives me as a men’s activist. Well, that and my narcissistic rage.

    Isn’t it the reason elam? Oh wait I forgot he is also in it for the money and power it gives him…

  48. Because MRAs NEVER make puerile and shallow comments about how ugly and fat feminists are at all.

    For the life of me I can’t tell if Maya L. is just adding a heaping helping of sarcasm on top of my sarcastic comment, or if she has misread a clearly ridiculous comment by someone who’s been commenting here for the past year and a half as totes serious and was trying to respond seriously.

    Ah, wevs. It’s all good. Except for rper89.

  49. @abeegoesbuzz

    I was heaping sarcasm on top of your sarcasm to make a delicious sarcasm sundae. Too bad it’s the internet. Without tone of voice and body language it’s difficult to see that.

  50. Hee hee! Ah, that sarcasm font thing again. Or maybe we all need our own blinking sarcasm signs… Curses, WordPress!

  51. thebewilderness

    I think it one of his standard posts whenever the donations begin to slack off or rumours of his arrest and conviction circulate the manosphere.

  52. Oh and Maya, a substantial part of manboob’s and other feminist’s site’s traffic are MRA’s scoping the latest “intelligence” so site traffic is a “gender” equitable indicator.

    lol, you can’t possibly actually believe your own fairy tales

  53. I’ve never seen David brag about the traffic he gets, so I don’t know what MRAMonkey is hoping to prove.

    I think “burning the candle at both ends” is one of Elam’s few apt stolen cliches — It burns hot and fast, but will scorch the hand of whoever’s holding it, and extinguish itself in the sloppy pool of wax it leaves behind.

  54. Ugh, it’s like reading bad lyrics. What did the English language ever do to him?

    I am amused by the idea of the SPLC being anyone’s lackey, though.

  55. Oh, that last part wasn’t real…sounds just like the first two parts, though.

  56. I'vegotthePopcorn

    HollyPervocracy if my computer dies from the amount of tea that I just spat on it I am coming after you! For this:

    “Holy shit. I’m as surprised as a tin cat in a tiny forest of electric horse polishers.”

    Bless.

    And for the record Dr Canning, here is one Manboobz reader who never visits any MR websites any more. I refuse to add to their web traffic.

  57. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    @xardoz – It burns hot and fast, but will scorch the hand of whoever’s holding it, and extinguish itself in the sloppy pool of wax it leaves behind.

    Oh, so that’s just wax? I guess I don’t need these rubber gloves, this long-handled scrubbing brush and this bottle of bleach after all.

  58. My mistake! I was thinking it was WAY more coherent than Elam’s usual bloviating. :D

  59. first thing I thought of when I read this self-aggrandizing pile of crap (Shadow may get a kick outta this one ;)

  60. Futurama makes everything better.

  61. Crumbelievable

    As for the “I hate Dr. Tara,” he was being sarcastic; he was defending himself against charges of misogyny by pointing out that there are several women he likes and that like him back.

    I don’t hate x! Some of my best friends are x! Always a solid defense.

  62. Our great leader was enthusiastic because feminist man-hater Kellett bit the dust. The MRMs rhiteous influence grows every day, while the corrupt power of feminist bigotry continues to putrify and wane. On days like this, I feel sorry for you people.

    To see what I am talking about, google “Obamacare sexism”. My March article has several follow ups. This is why we will win. It just is not very hard to point out vile feminist discrimination.

    Evil feminist operatives are incompetent and ineffective. MRM voices continue to multiply and grow. Your time has come. Soon you will join white supremacists and slave traders in the dustbin of history. Bon voyage, bigots. Most of you will be forgotten. Some will be remembered with scorn, as object lessons on the dark side of human nature.

  63. In the long run, EVERYONE gets forgotten. And most of us within two generations.

    Sad hard truth, man.

  64. You keep telling yourself that, AntZ. Whatever gets you through the night besides VR and FOREIGN BRIDE.

  65. Poor Antz is so confused. We will inevitably win! I know we won’t win, feminism is too powerful and runs the world. But we shall prevail! Nope, back to work on the plan to divide the country in half. But no, we’re winning and all the rest of you will be fish food!

    It must be terrible to live like that.

  66. He should ask the Susan B. Komen foundation and the GOP whether the feminist gravy train is going off the rails. If anything, women are gaining more power by the day.

  67. Crumbelievable

    Your great leader thinks that female rape victims are “stupid conniving bitches” who were “begging for it”.

    Do you agree with that sentiment, Antzy?

  68. David’s paragraph sounds like it was written by Zombie Ann Landers.

  1. Pingback: Caspar, the unfriendly ghost, tries to start a rap war | Artistry Against Miss Andrea

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