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A quick preview of my Northwestern talk tonight on “How to hate women and have terrible sex.”

Here’s a preview of the talk I’ll be giving at Northwestern tonight.

Remember, the talk — on “How to hate women and have terrible sex: Misogynistic sex myths, and how they ruin sex for everyone” – will be at 8 PM in Room G02 of Annenberg Hall on the Northwestern Campus in Evanston.

(Here’s a map.)

See you there!

Oh, and also, The Spearhead has discovered that I will be giving a talk. W. F. Price writes about it with his usual objectivity, by which I mean that his piece is filled with lies and weird projection.

EDITED TO ADD: And now the Men’s Rights Subreddit gets in on the fun! Apparently they are also very concerned about my weight.

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Posted on April 9, 2012, in I am making a joke, kitties, lying liars, misogyny, MRA, self-promotion, sex, the spearhead. Bookmark the permalink. 278 Comments.

  1. @lauralot89
    let me know if you’d like some help with your resume. I just got a job doing data entry stuff and was applying for similar jobs. I’d be happy to offer advice, help you with your resume, give you moral support or anything else that you might possibly need on your job search. I’m home until next Monday with very little to do if you’d like it. Finding a job in this field that is legitimate is difficult, and as such I think that helping each other network, communicate etc is helpful.

  2. RE: Shadow

    It is secondhand knowledge, but I really think that’s what they had to do.

    My racial situation is… complicated, to say the least, but I don’t go walking around pretending I don’t have the privileges I got! JESUS.

  3. PS: Look up ‘transethnic.’ Then try not to cry.

  4. I’be been wheelchair (and kneelchair) bound. It’s always a sad awakening when it happens, because one becomes less of a person. The wheelchair is the worse. It makes one short, and it’s got more cooties than crutches, etc. (esp. if one is in a cast, or has some sign of the disability being transitory).

    To not need one, and take a disabled spot? Not on. When I had my disabled placard I didn’t like using it. It’s not that I was feeling superior, or wanted to be the martyr, it was that I didn’t really think I needed it. I could manage to wheel a little futher, and someone who had something like congestive heart problems, or emphysema, or a wheelchair, almost certainly needed it MORE.

    So yeah, assholes like that… may they come to see themelves as they really are; if only for a moment.

  5. Also ARRRRRRGH just read that article. Must… not… gouge at eyes…

    If I were to use a wheelchair it’d be explicitly so I realize that it’s HARD and would force me, for however short a time, to recognize how much I take for granted as someone who doesn’t rely on ramps. (If I were on wheels, for instance, I would be unable to reach my home OR my room OR the library, all of which are only accessible by stairs. And that’s just what pops immediately to mind.) GAAAAH.

  6. LBT, I think taking the subway seat is OK because you’re right there and if someone who obviously needs the seat more than you gets on, you can just move (with parking spots, you have no way of knowing if someone who needed the spot showed up).

  7. RE: katz

    Yeah, and I generally figured if somebody really needed it, I’d get the fuck up.

    …but generally I was so spent just dragging my sickly ass to the subway, I’m not sure I could’ve stayed vertical even if I’d needed to. I REALLY shouldn’t have been on that train.

  8. @Rogan

    aahh “transethnic”, always good for a chuckle. I also find it darkly funny that (IME anyways) the ones who think this is a thing are the same ones who don’t get that leeway from their friends of different ethnicities. The non-black person that gets the leeway to call their friends “nigga”, or the non-brown person that gets the leeway to call their South Asian friends “paki” also tend to be racially aware enough to understand that it’s an expression of trust and acceptance from their friends, not some universal endorsement by an ethnicity.

    I tried to use my yellow belt in google-fu to track down that story you mentioned, but sadly no luck. I would have loved to read the WTF response from POCs.

  9. LBT, I think taking the subway seat is OK because you’re right there and if someone who obviously needs the seat more than you gets on, you can just move (with parking spots, you have no way of knowing if someone who needed the spot showed up).

    Yeah, taking the seat is fine, provided you DO actually get up and don’t pull the depressingly-common game of “if I don’t SEE the disabled person, they don’t exist!” When I’ve had to get on crowded trains in Boston and New York in the past year, there was virtually always at least one person sitting in the “please give up this seat to disabled or elderly people” seat who would look very hard in whatever direction I’m not. It’s merely humorously annoying when it’s just one person, and someone in the next seat has the basic decency to figure out that they can probably stand up better than the woman on a cane can, but there were a few trips in which all the seats were taken by those people. (Although I admit, there’s something hilarious in a “maybe we should just nuke the Earth from orbit now” sort of way about standing in the middle of a full subway car, visibly wincing in pain and struggling to stay upright, and having the entire car ostentatiously not look at me.)

  10. RE: Polliwog

    Yeah, when I’m not incredibly sick and weak (which hasn’t happened for two months woo!) I have a habit of never taking that seat. I don’t NEED it.

    RE: Shadow

    It’s one of those stories I heard from a friend, but it’s certainly possible it’s an urban myth. Just, with the people I’ve seen, I would be totally unsurprised if it were true.

  11. David K. Meller

    Was it Mark Twain who remarked “He who can does, he who cannot, teaches, and he who cannot teach, teaches the teachers”?

    This is what a lecture or seminar on “good sex” by this David Futrelle would amount to. After all, if he knew the subject, he would be enjoying himself (and his women would be enjoying themselves) and wouldn’t have either the time or inclination to give such a talk to college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!

  12. Oh, fuck off and play with your dolls.

  13. RE: Meller

    college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!

    Oh, you. You got me. Totally beyond redemption. So beyond, in fact, that I plan to unredeem myself THIS VERY NIGHT. Possibly multiple times.

    …we are euphemizing, right?

  14. Wait… Meller you are trying to say that the only reason anyone spends time doing anything other than working, eating, sleeping and fucking is they have no one to fuck?

    And that no one who is good at sex would have the, “inclination” to share the benefits of their experience?

    That’s daft, even by the standards of the Mellerverse. If that were true John Norman never would have been able to write the how-to books of which you are so fond.

    That, or they wouldn’t be worth the paper they were printed on.

    Hrmn… maybe you do have a point there.

  15. Considering the amount of time you spend trying to play backseat driver to the intimate and emotional lives of the Manboobz commentariat, compounded my the fact that your inability to relate to other people has forced you to use inanimate objects as a substitute for human interaction, I really wouldn’t talk if I were you, Meller.

  16. Oh Meller! Rocks have more capacity for self-reflection than you do. Tell me, do you recognize your reflection in the mirror, or do you think it’s someone that just creepily watches you?

  17. Meller: some do, some teach some teaches to teachers. (and some presumably do several of them. Sex is not one of those thing you need to be an expert in, not even good at, you just need someone who want to do it with you) You do none of it, you pretend that the subject is both inexistent and evil and you replace any potential partner in your life by toys.

    Which, don’t get me wrong, is a gift to humanity. But it also means that virtually anybody, up and inclunding your dolls, is more qualified than you to give advice on sex and relationship.

  18. Um… Meller? You are aware that people have sex in college? Including feminists? Including WOMEN feminists? Oh right, your idea of a healthy relationship is a bunch of porcelain “lovelies” locked in a cupboard. I’m pretty sure that the most man hating feminist is closer to “sexual redemption” than you.

  19. Meller, what about the sexual redemption of men who play with dolls?

  20. Sexual Redemption sounds like a Shawshank Redemption parody on Playboy Channel.

  21. Was it Mark Twain who remarked “He who can does, he who cannot, teaches, and he who cannot teach, teaches the teachers”?

    Maybe, but that’d just make Mark Twain wrong. Teachers have a hard fucking road ahead of them, and doing it is vital; it *is* doing, cutesy little phrases to the contrary.

  22. After all, if he knew the subject, he would be enjoying himself (and his women would be enjoying themselves) and wouldn’t have either the time or inclination to give such a talk to college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!

    So, then, the fact that you spend so much time lecturing us all on how to have proper relationships means that you know nothing about the subject of how to have a relationship, or else you would be in one? It’s nice to see you finally admitting it.

  23. Sexual Redemption sounds like a Shawshank Redemption parody on Playboy Channel.

    “Coming up next: Shaving Ryan’s Privates, followed by Sexual Redemption and Cumdog Millionaire.”

  24. “After all, if he knew the subject, he would be enjoying himself (and his women would be enjoying themselves) and wouldn’t have either the time or inclination to give such a talk to college feminists, most of whom are probably beyond sexual redemption anyhow!”

    Meller, sweetie, I can’t help but notice that you have a lot of time available to spend trolling feminist-leaning blogs and playing with your dollies. You last had sex with a carbon-based lifeform in what, maybe 1965?

    Run along now, before the dolls stage an escape.

  25. Cassandra, I thought we’d established at the start of the year that David K. Meller uhh, Roger T. Cramwell was a 17th century vampire, so that it’s quite possible he hasn’t consorted with carbon-based, modern flesh-covered women (?) since he (presumably) consummated the marriage (?) in 1638.

    Where’s Evan, Meller?

  26. @katz

    “Coming up next: Shaving Ryan’s Privates, followed by Sexual Redemption and Cumdog Millionaire.”

  27. “Those who can, teach; those who cannot, pass laws about teaching!”

    My post has pic of that brilliant button if you want to see it:

    http://ithiliana.dreamwidth.org/1651596.html

  28. ““Coming up next: Shaving Ryan’s Privates, followed by Sexual Redemption and Cumdog Millionaire.””

    AHAHAHAHAAH!!!

  29. Things I didn’t know: if you’re good at sex, you do nothing but have sex ALL THE TIME. Man, sometimes I just want to eat some chocolate and watch ponies.

  30. @ithilania- as the daughter of two teachers, YOU ARE SO RIGHT AND IT GIVES ME A SAD.

  31. David K. Meller

    Men and women who can love each other, do, Those who can’t, pass (feminist) laws about it and ruin it for everybody else! Those who can’t even pass laws, howl and rant their gender-equaltiy nonsense until legislators and judges give up, and ruin things for real people just to shut up the feminoids!

    One way or another, real men are going to love real women again!! I don’t know what will become of you “womenbenghateful” here, and on similar feminazi (thank you, RL) blogs and websites, and frankly, I don’t care.

  32. Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that. Also, why are you creeping around leaving comments on threads that are like weeks old hoping no one will notice? Do the new threads intimidate you or something?

  33. He does not want to be reminded that he advocates domestic violence. Or how utterly racist he is.

  34. Men and women who can love each other, do

    In Mellerland, love is like Gor, only with more locked cupboards.

  35. CassandraSays

    “One way or another, real men are going to love real women again!!”

    And the South will rise again! Hey, it’s Meller, the shoe fits.

  36. I dunno, man, my girlfriend and her boyfriend seem to love each other just fine. And they’re definitely real. I checked. They’re not made of ectoplasm or ANYTHING.

  37. Snowy, I think Meller thinks new threads are too modern, or something.

    Whatever, Meller. You’ll still be alone and miserable with nothing but your dolls. It’s what you deserve.

  38. CassandraSays

    Well, if he’s redefined “real women” to mean “Madame Alexander dolls”, then his statement is technically correct for his specific circumstances – he will indeed love them no matter what, since they’re unable to run away like an actual woman would once he started dressing them up like Victorian children and spritzing them with homemade perfume.

  39. Oh my glob, Meller, you’re fucking pathetic. Stop pretending you understand anything about love, you sad fool.

  40. And he’s also a necromancer! Unsurprising.

  41. Meller: Men and women who can love each other, do

    Yes, we do. I have women who love me. It’s great. I love them too. It makes my life quite pleasant.

    You might be interested to know they are all feminists.

  42. This feminist and her feminist husband will celebrate eleven years of marriage on Sunday. And I’m pretty sure we’re real… I’ve even had recent bloodwork show that my hormones are correctly balanced and that I am, in fact, biologically female.

    And since you think that there is an excuse for cold-blooded murder, mock the pain of cancer victims (hey, I’ll pass you screed on to a dear friend whose husband was recently diagnosed with aggressively metastatic testicular cancer. And then get out of the way. She does roller derby and is more than a little scary.), and seem to think that kittens should be killed for just being kittens, you, Meller, can FUCK RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.

  43. KathleenB: Don’t forget that real men, and real women; who love each other, will be glad to make their daughters into sex-slaves if they turn out to be interested in sex before marriage.

    Because they are so loving, not the evil feminists and renegade men who oppose such ideas.

  44. Pecunium: Totally. Can’t let the sluts get out of hand!

  45. Hey, Meller! You know the friend I mentioned last night? She just found out that she’s going to be a widow before she turns 32. And you know, home hospice care is SUCH a drag, she could probably use a laugh right now. Why don’t you expound some more on how the suffering of cancer patients makes you laugh? I’m sure she would find it equally HI-larious. Maybe you could give me your email address to pass on! Your SEXIST BULLSHIT might be just what she needs.

    FUCK RIGHT THE FUCKING FUCK OFF,
    Kathleen

  46. @kb

    you’re basing this on the mistaken assumption that dkm can care about people not made out of porcelain. he can’t, because he’s a disgusting simulacrum of an actual person.

  47. @KathleenB That sucks about your friends. So sorry.

  48. Sharculese: Maybe if enough people point out what a total and utter asshat he’s being, he will see the light and his heart will grow three sizes and we’ll all join hands and sing carols around the fireplace!

  49. Okay, note to self: control freak anxiety attacks (can’t DO ANYTHING for anyone!) + major grief for a good friend + low blood sugar = MOAR sarcastic! Good to know…

  50. Kathleen, so sorry about your friends.

  51. KathleenB: My sympathy, and condolence, to you; and your friends.

  52. Thanks, everyone. Mother, Sister and NephewB are all down with them – he just decided last night to stop fighting. I hate feeling so… helpless. They’re something like four states away, and I can’t do anything for them. I felt the same way when Dad was sick: there was literally nothing I could do to make him better or take the pain away or stop Mom from losing the house.

    As you might have guessed, I have some pretty major cancer issues.

  53. @KathleenB: I’m so sorry about your friends.

  54. @DKM: Sneaking around, eh? Maybe hoping I wouldn’t notice you? I have been awfully busy, end of term stuff, but nope, I see activity, I bop over, and here you are, being all vile and awful.

    Name me ONE feminist law (state, number, title, or hell, maybe federal?) that stops men and women from loving each other, or marrying (the last one, about interracial marriages, had to be fought and overturned).

    There are a scad of laws that keep men from marrying each other, and women from marrying each other.

    And, oh, yeah, by the way: the comment that got you last banned: read it and choke.

    An adorable little pretty-kitty!

    No, I DON’T THINK that she should be euthanized, hanged, drowned, or otherwise killed! She should be loved, pampered, looked after, petted, and cuddled.

    Happy now?
    So much for all of the nonsense gibberish here on womenbeinghateful(a.k.a. manboobz.com) about my being cruel to kitties–or women!

    You don’t get it, do you, DKM? The only “nonsense gibberish” is your maunderings about how if kittens (or presumably any other pets) or WOMEN don’t behave, they should be punished–and men who kill women are driven to it.

    Your words. Live with them:

    http://manboobz.com/2012/02/09/alcuin-and-out-or-the-kkk-with-tits/comment-page-8/#comment-123827

    Ithiliana–February 12, 2012 @2:31pm

    “graduate student “murdered” by ex-husband”

    Take post cited above. Could woman who talks like that (over the ‘net) have such an unpleasant, unfeminine, and just plain horrid personality that she could say something that MAY provoke an unpleasant response from a nearby man who may already be troubled about something else. Look at all of the cases you read about where a murder or vicious assault or rape was committed by a man whose entire life was coming apart, and the very person—his wife–whom he was relying upon to keep what was left of his sanity was turning on him…

    Did graduate student take her “how to handle men” or something like that from YOU?

    I was explaining that a man who loved his nearest and dearest would do anything to avoid the spousal abuse so often cited on feminuttery websites and blogs like this, because it wouldn’t get him what he wanted! I would rather be kind, gentle, and loving to a woman than beat,rape, or kill her, and so would most men, for obvious reasons!

    Gee, Ithiliana, for an intelligent woman, you sure have a lot of trouble understanding ordinary common sense, don’t you?

  55. KathleenB, I’m so sorry.

  56. KathleenB, I’m so sorry.

    Meller, you disgusting, pathetic, scum-sucking coward, just fuck off and die.

  57. Thanks, everyone. Mother, Sister and NephewB are all down with them – he just decided last night to stop fighting. I hate feeling so… helpless. They’re something like four states away, and I can’t do anything for them. I felt the same way when Dad was sick: there was literally nothing I could do to make him better or take the pain away or stop Mom from losing the house.

    As you might have guessed, I have some pretty major cancer issues.

    *hug*

    I hear you, especially about that miserable feeling of helplessness. Cancer is a stupid, evil disease and I hate it. Fuck cancer. :(

  58. Polliwog: Friends of hers will be getting ‘fuck cancer’ tattoos in his honor. I don’t want an english swear word permanently inked on my body, so I’m going to have a tree of life with ‘cancer can kiss my ass’ in gaelic. I’m just… gods, I’ve lost three people I cared about to cancer in the last ten years. No one should have to deal with that.

  59. Okay, I hated my mother in law, she was an abusive, sociopathic rage monster, but no one deserves to die of cancer. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

  60. A friend of mine recently decided that he was done fighting late stage Type 1 Diabetes.

    I had (and have) mixed feelings about it. A couple of days ago I remembered Robert Luis Steven’s Epitaph (which he wrote).

    Under the wide and starry sky
    Dig the grave and let me lie.
    Glad did I live and gladly die,
    And I laid me down with a will.

    This be the verse you grave for me:
    Here he lies where he longed to be;
    Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
    And the hunter home from the hill.

    It’s a mixed comfort to me. I was too far away to say goodbye properly. My ex took my final greetings to him (he wasn’t up for the phone when I called), and she says he responded well. The wake is later this month, I’m flying to make it.

    It’s funny just how appropriate this is. His ashes are being scattered in his beloved mountains; by the by some of the Boy Scouts he so loved. He loved life, and living, and when the time came he decided the pains were too much and he laid him down with a will. There was enough time to say his goodbyes, and come to grips, and make his peace.

    My grandfather, actually, did the same thing. I hope that, should I come to that pass, I can do the same.

    Glad did he live, and glad he died,
    and he laid him down with a will.

    Hugs to you and yours.

  61. KathleenB – I’m sorry.

  62. Pecunium: I think that there is a power in saying ‘I fought as long as I could, I’ve lived my life, now it’s time to stop fighting.’ And a kind of grace in accepting your own mortality. Doesn’t make it any easier for those who are left behind, but in the end, we’re all going to get left behind.

  63. @KathleenB- I’m so sorry. May his memory be for a blessing for you, and his wife, and all of those whom he has touched.

  64. Crumbelievable

    By the way, David, how did this talk go?

  65. Kathleen, I’m sorry about everything you’re going through.

  66. Adding to the condolences, for KathleenB’s and Pecunium’s friends.

    As for Gollum sneaking around adding his poison on defunct threads, please get your creepy jollies (with your porcelain dollies) elsewhere.

  67. RE: Pecunium and Kathleen
    :(

    I’m sorry for y’all’s losses. (And for being late saying so.) I hope y’all’re bearing up okay.

  68. Kathleen: Doesn’t make it any easier for those who are left behind, but in the end, we’re all going to get left behind.

    I think, having been through this, it does make it easier. Some of the sense of anger is attenuated. Not that I didn’t have some Job like moments, but they faded pretty quickly. Faster than they would have, I think, had he been fighting all they way out; or if it had been sudden.

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