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domestic violence drama evil women hypocrisy idiocy misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia precious bodily fluids reddit shit that never happened spermjacking TROOOLLLL!!

Guess who got trolled on April Fool’s Day? Hint: It rhymes with “Glen’s Brights Pubreddit”

So it turns out that the heartbreaking yet highly implausible story of attempted spermburgling that got the Men’s Rights subreddit so riled up on the first of the month … was in fact fake.

Mr. ineedhelpnow1234 himself wrote me a note today alerting me to a post on his blog explaining the whole thing, and why he did it. Some highlights:

I wanted to reveal just how twisted these men can be in the pursuit of their agenda so I came up with a story they could not resist. …

The spermjacker trope is irresistible to “men’s rights” activists because they believe they are perfect Darwinian examples of masculinity and as a result are irresistible to the hormonally irrational schemers that make up womankind. Narcissism and misogyny collide to make a toxic brew.

Oh, and I added the twist that this man punched his girlfriend so hard in the stomach that she bruised. Surely such fierce proponents of “gender equality” would not support violence against women. Right?

Well, we all know how that turned out. Ineedhelpnow1234/the blogger Eschatology continued:

The “men’s rights” movement is morally bankrupt. It is made up of people who support hitting women. It is made up of people who refuse to say it is wrong to hit women. It is made up of people who are so paranoid of women that they think people actually talk like this:

You fucking bastard, how dare you punch me for what I’m entitled to! Call me the minute you get this god damn message or I’ll call the fucking police and end your future. CALL MEEEE.

Attention MRA’s: You have all exposed yourselves as rotten human beings and you have discredited your movement (again). …

I wrote this story by stitching together nearly every cliche I have ever come across in the “men’s rights” movement. I tried to see if the MRAs had any line they would not cross. Apparently they do not. Looks like the SPLC made a good call.

Heck, even after they got called out for supporting the (imaginary) puncher,  both here and on Jezebel, and were roundly mocked for believing such an utterly ridiculous tall tale, this is about as close as any Men’s Rights redditor got to criticizing the punch that never was:

He panicked and hit her. Sure he should have just have restrained her and took the condom out of her hands but we’re human and its not like he continually beat her into a pulp.

Yep, no big deal, “its not like he continually beat her into a pulp.”

The comment containing that line got 11 upvotes, and zero downvotes.

The Men’s Rights Movement, beyond the pale — but also beyond parody.

EDITED TO ADD: The Men’s Rights regulars respond to the big reveal here. They are apparently determined to learn absolutely nothing from the whole episode. At the moment this is the most highly upvoted comment:

 

EDITED TO ADD AGAIN: Ineedhelpnow1234/Eschatology posted about this in the TwoXChromosomes subreddit, Naturally, a small horde of r/mensrightsers invaded the thread and pooped all over it.

 

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Shadow
8 years ago

@indifferentsky

Ninja high five!

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

your website about it explosions

it never covers

the things that don’t explode

Rutee Katreya
8 years ago

@Rutee Katreya: he would need the help because his girlfriend would’ve been using the threat of having him arrested to try and coerce him into sex. That’s way up there on the list of warning signs that your partner is an abuser.

You know what else is on those warning signs? Fucking hitting them so you leave a bruise. I have no advice or sympathy for an abuser who ends up with another abuser.

indifferentsky
8 years ago

high five to shadow… thought I’d be ninja’d I took forever to do that and was fuming in the process. I can’t stand dishonesty and accusations of dishonesty, and a dishonest accusation of dishonesty? Oh man, I’m gone….

You were more civil than I was.

David even said MORE THAN A FEW READERS…

Makomk you are a jackass.
Ok that’s my name calling quota for the day.

makomk
makomk
8 years ago
Reply to  Rutee Katreya

@Shadow: ah yeeah, sorry, lost track. It was the little detail of the attempted rape claim that David was omitting.

@Rutee Katreya: while you may not care, domestic violence advocacy groups and politicians and designers of police training resources have put a huge amount of effort into making sure that women who may be victims of abuse don’t get arrested for beating up their partner and leaving bruises. Not only that, but MRAs have been systematically portrayed as hating female victims for using studies that count all violence as abuse in their abuse statistics, even though those statistics are the best option out bthere.

Rutee Katreya
8 years ago

@Rutee Katreya: while you may not care, domestic violence advocacy groups and politicians and designers of police training resources have put a huge amount of effort into making sure that women who may be victims of abuse don’t get arrested for beating up their partner and leaving bruises.

MRM fictions, typically by conflating self defense with abuse.

Not only that, but MRAs have been systematically portrayed as hating female victims for using studies that count all violence as abuse in their abuse statistics, even though those statistics are the best option out bthere.

Dude, you know this fake story that is about a dude who beat a woman to prevent a spermjacking, and has stuff following it? That isn’t fucking self defense.

Rutee Katreya
8 years ago

SEriously, this is a fake story about a woman who used being abused as leverage for blackmail and rape. Trying to compare this to people using violence to try to fight back against abuse is fucking sick. Fuck off; not just here, not just the internet, but go find a deserted island so no human being has to deal with you again.

Shadow
8 years ago

@Shadow: ah yeeah, sorry, lost track. It was the little detail of the attempted rape claim that David was omitting.

Jesus F Christ dude. Did you read ANY of David’s post before you rode in on your high horse of disingenuity?

I’m not proud of what I did, but I was FREAKED out in the moment and she was about to escape and I just did what I thought I needed to do.

She caught her breath and left and now she’s been calling (I haven’t answered) and texting me saying she’s going to call the police and have me arrested unless I have sex with her without a condom.

These are the troll’s words that David quoted in THE SAME FUCKING POST THAT WE JUST DIRECTED YOU TO!

makomk
makomk
8 years ago
Reply to  Rutee Katreya

@Rutee Katreya: … I give up. Apparently I was a fool to believe that anyone believed tthe messages the various domestic violence advocacy groups had come up with rather than treating them as an excuse to arrest men under any circumstances. And no, it’s not just self-defense, it includes circumstances where the woman struck first and even sometimes circumstances where the woman was the only one committing physical violence because – supposedly – there was more to domestic abuse than simply violence. Supposedly it’s fundamentally about power and control, though I guess in retrospect that’s pretty obvious code for “the man did it, silly”>

jumbofish
8 years ago

What the hell are you even talking about? Self defense has nothing to do with this because said imaginary punching was not self defense. It’s not that hard to grasp.

makomk
makomk
8 years ago
Reply to  jumbofish

@jumbofish: self defense is a red herring that Rutee brought up. If partner A uses coercie tactics against partner B, partner B hits partner A – even though that’s completely unjustifiable as self defense – and partner A uses this as a further tactic of coercion against partner B then according to the definitions a lot of domestic violence advocates use that makes A a clear-cut abuser and B a clear-cut victim. At least when A is male and B is female anyway. The idea of “self defense” being used as the criteria that decides whether hitting someone counts as domestic violence is… controversial would be an understatement.

Maya Lovelace
Maya Lovelace
8 years ago

@Shadow

It’s pointless to reason with MRAs. No matter how much logic and evidence you provide against their case they will lie anyway. If anything, reason with MRAs for all the loafers of this site.

jumbofish
8 years ago

I find arguing about the imaginary story very silly but continuing…

then according to the definitions a lot of domestic violence advocates use that makes A a clear-cut abuser and B a clear-cut victim

Where? Could you link to what you are talking about? Maybe I am wrong but I have never seen a thing on a domestic abuse site about abuse merry go rounds where one partner does something coercive and then the other partner attacks them then the first partner threatens them from the attack. That doesn’t really sound so clear cut that the first person was an abuser and the second a victim.

The idea of “self defense” being used as the criteria that decides whether hitting someone counts as domestic violence is… controversial would be an understatement.

I’m not sure what you are getting at here. Are you saying fighting back in self defense is never ok in an abusive relationship?

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

Won’t anybody speak about the real problems? We know have an epidemic of false sperm-stealing accusation! According the the OomA* study, between 30 and 101% of S-S accusation are lies of men who wanted to do sex without a condom because they thought it would feel better, and later got ashamed of the risk they took and the responsibilities that might be coming for them.

—-

*Out of my Ass

princessbonbon
8 years ago

I did not post an ad on Craigslist but I did find over 50 posts in my city alone where men were offering their sperm for any woman who wanted a deposit.

Sharculese
Sharculese
8 years ago

A whole bunch of them did conclude trolling at the time. In fact, let me quote how one of the regulars who was offering advice replied at the time to the suggestions that it was a troll: “It could be a troll. It could also be a really dumb kid who’s got himself into a dumb predicament. If it’s the former, well, I’ve just wasted a little time. If it’s the latter, he needs the help.”

oh, so we’re supposed to be comforted by the fact that some of legion of clowns were only mostly convinced by the incredibly fake sounding story? you are really not doing yourself any favors, here…

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
8 years ago

[S]ince the members were understandably unwilling to take the risk that he might not be lying

– The story was posted by a guy who had never posted to Reddit before
– The story was so ridiculously over the top in terms of the turn of events and dialogue, and piled high with every woman-hating cliche that MRAs love to believe
– The story was posted on April Fool’s Day

katz
8 years ago

Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that you’re allowed to assume people are lying when they post stories on April Fool’s Day, and if something improbable happened to you on that day you should wait and post it on April 2.

Shadow
8 years ago

@Maya

Oh trust me, I’ve been here long enough to remove all traces of naivete, and makomk proved himself to be disingenuos as all get out. I just don’t like to leave that kind of blatant BS unrefuted.

Joven
Joven
8 years ago

actual security cam footage of feminazi sperm theft (with mangina accompaniment)

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

Makomk: @pecunium: legitimate but ineffective.

Nonsense. You said there are only two alternatives /mensrights could engage in.

It’s not a question of effective/ineffective, it’s a question of actual options. There were more than two, ergo your claim that it was a damned either way situation is patently false.

He admitted he had hit her. It wasn’t a case of “false accusation” it was a case of confessed battery. The only good advice (and one which also precludes the charge of misogyny) is, “contact an attorney, refuse to speak to the police without one.

But you continue to pretend that this was some unwinnable situation. It’s not. All one needs to do it treat it as if it were the assault it plainly was (because a bruise to the abdomen is an injury which doesn’t result from a simple punch), and respond accordingly.

They didn’t. They responded in a way which said, “this person deserved to be hit, and you deserve to get away with it.” The said that because it was a woman.

making sure that women who may be victims of abuse don’t get arrested for beating up their partner and leaving bruises.

Where was the imminent threat of bodily harm? Because that’s what a claim of self defense requires (even the “burning bed” defense requires the person who did it prove they felt there was no other recourse to prevent bodily harm/death. Not that they were going to be deprived of income).

Your analogy fails.

That, and your repeated attempts to pretend that none of that was addressed by anyone here, when contra your claims, it was all in the post Dave wrote. Really dude, you have to do better than that. We can read.

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