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MRA: Men can sometimes tell when women are on their periods. Therefore, feminism is exposed as a dirty lie!

From Susan Draws. (Click on the pic to go there.)

Watch out, ladies! And feminism! Because guys are totally onto you and your dirty periods. According to a study cited on the blog What Men Think of Women, men can tell when women are on their periods – just by listening to them talk! Well, some of the time, anyway. From a writeup of the research in the Times of India:

Men can actually tell from a woman’s voice when she is having her period, a new study has claimed.

For the study, conducted by Nathan Pipitone at Adams State College and Gordon Gallup from SUNY-Albany, the researchers asked three groups of men to listen to voice recordings of ten women who counted from one to five at four different points over their menstrual cycle.

According to Popular Science, all four recordings were played in a random order and then the first group of men were asked to guess which were made while the women were on their period. The tests revealed that the men were correct 35 per cent of the time, which was described as a ‘significant’ result.

That’s right, ladies! Men can tell whether or not you’re are on the rag  – a third of the time!

I myself have developed a technique that can bring this success rate to well over 50 percent – just by listening to women talk!

All you have to do is to pay attention to subtle audio clues, like her saying:

“I just started my period.”

“My period came early this month.”

“Crap. I’ve got awful craps – because of my period.”

“Aunt Flo is paying her monthly visit.” (Note: this works only if she does not actually have an Aunt Flo.)

“It’s shark week! “ (Note: This works only if it is not actually Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.)

“It’s that time of month again. The time when I use tampons, in my vagina.”

 “I have reached that point in my menstrual cycle during which blood leaks from my hoo-ha.”

So what does all this mean? According to Christian J at What Men Are Saying About Women, it means the jig is up, feminists! In a post titled How Men can Decode “Women’s” Menstrual Cycle.. , he writes:

This information is what feminist have been trying to hide, delete and deny for many a decade. They are of the opinion that the menstrual cycle is irrelevant and superfluous to their cause and one can understand why when one looks at the studies on how women are affected by it.

In the worst case scenarios, their behaviour are effected to such a degree as to make them totally dysfunctional and even bedridden for the period(intended) of the cycle. The other side of the argument is ofcourse that it is swept under the carpet and not discussed or taken seriously..

Just some added benefits from feminism, as they live in ignorant, self induced silence..

You might as well pack it in, ladies and manginas – because men know!

A third of the time.

NOTE: I have no idea why Christian J. put the word “women” in quotes in the title of his blog post. Like his now-legendary two-dot ellipses, this is a mystery that may forever remain unsolved. Or you could ask him, I guess.

EDITED TO ADD: This post has now inspired a completely disingenuous “Yahoo Answers” query from an antifeminist concern troll who seems to be pretending that this post was not DRIPPING IN SARCASM. Add your answers, if you want!

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Lauralot
Lauralot
8 years ago

HEY MRAS: AM I ON MY PERIOD?

*waits for ranting about evil feminists using computers to hide the truth*

Joanna
8 years ago

” but hormones make men rapists 100% of the time?”

Yeah but that’s women’s fault. Men would not produce rape inducing testosterone if women didn’t look like sluts. Ergo, women are sluts 100% of the time and crazy bitches 25% of the time.

Isabeau
Isabeau
8 years ago

Asking him would mean talking to him.

No way.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Wut? I think Christian J just wants to be able to dismiss all women as “on the rag,” but now he has a STUDY to back that up.

The guys in the study are wrong 65% of the time, but whatever.

BoggiDWurms
BoggiDWurms
8 years ago

“Yeah but that’s women’s fault. Men would not produce rape inducing testosterone if women didn’t look like sluts. Ergo, women are sluts 100% of the time and crazy bitches 25% of the time.”

It’s official. Men are better at math.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

David, did you really mean to say “I’ve got awful craps because of my period?” That happens sometimes, but I think you meant cramps. 😉

katz
8 years ago

I think if you get craps on your period, you should see a doctor.

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

Naw, she just means that her dice game is off because she’s on her period. Probably because she’s getting cramps

Magpie
8 years ago

Warning: TMI

I can’t crap while using a tampon.

Noadi
8 years ago

Diarrhea isn’t an uncommon symptom during menstruation. I’ve been on birth control for years to stop my period because I had just about every unpleasant symptom there was except for PMS (all sorts of issues during but not before), incapacitating cramps, nausea, diarrhea, anemia, headaches, etc. I love modern medicine, I’m fully willing to trade a slightly higher chance of blood clots for the ability to both avoid pregnancy and a truly miserable week every month (and can we add not having to take a pill every day since I have an IUD).

katz
8 years ago

Diarrhea isn’t an uncommon symptom during menstruation.

What’s up with that? The other stuff makes sense, but how does that part even work? (Or do I want to ask?)

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Katz, it can happen due to hormonal changes in the body during menstruation. so yeah, awful craps are possible!

Clarisse Thorn
8 years ago

Oh boy, I love this topic. Women can simply never win this one. Observe this anecdote which I featured in one of my posts a while back:

~~~
It’s dangerous to start posts with anecdotes, but I’m gonna try it again. This one is from when I was a little baby proto-feminist, and I got my period. My mama, who was born in the USA in 1945, regaled me with stories about old myths around menstruation: she talked about how when she went to college, for example, her home economics teacher very seriously reassured the students that “Now, it’s just not true that if you bake a cake while menstruating, the cake will fall,” and “Now, it’s just not true that if you milk a cow while menstruating, the milk will sour.” Imagine, if you will, living in a world where that kind of myth-busting had to be offered at the university level.

Mom then told me all about how PMS used to be viewed by doctors when she was young; how many male doctors used to simply refuse to accept the existence of PMS; how patronizing doctors would be when she was growing up, about her body and her experience. Mom suggested that I someday take a look at the gynecological sections of 1950s-1960s medical textbooks, just so I could see how medieval they were. She talked about how it used to be accepted among doctors — who were almost all male, natch — that a woman who felt cramps while menstruating was making it up. That a woman who felt unusually emotional or even in physical pain while menstruating was just being all hysterical, moody and useless — you know the way women are! She explained that as more women became doctors and feminism gained traction and science advanced with a broader perspective, PMS became recognized as a real thing. Cramps were no longer “typical female hysteria”.

I thought about this recently when I saw the 2009 film “Jennifer’s Body”, which was written by avowed feminist Diablo Cody (who wrote “Juno” too), and which I ended up liking a lot more than I usually like horror flicks. Here’s the menstruation-relevant exchange:

Needy [the main character]: Are you PMSing or something?

Jennifer: PMS isn’t real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we’re crazy.

Interesting, right? Especially in context of my mother’s analysis. But I can totally see where it’s coming from. PMS may not have been invented by the media (and maybe other women of my mother’s generation would like to comment if they’ve got a take on this subject) — but regardless, PMS has sure as hell been co-opted by the media, and by sexism at large. I have definitely seen plenty of dumb assholes in my generation dismiss feminist arguments, or really any emotional thing ever said by a woman, by snickering: “Oh, she’s just PMSing.” And I would be astonished if the Feministe commentariat hadn’t experienced an overwhelming amount of those same shutdowns. That is the kind of treatment that Diablo Cody is trying to push back against with those “boy-run media” lines — and justifiably so!

For me, the moral of the story is this: At first women had to work hard to get PMS recognized because our attempts to talk about genuine physical and hormonal reactions to menstruation were dismissed as women being moody, hysterical and useless. Now that PMS is recognized as real and not a mere figment of our girl brains, it’s being used to dismiss women as moody, hysterical and useless. I begin to see a trend ….
~~~

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I avoid periods because I have a lot of symptoms to begin with (though not as many as some do) but mostly because I have chronic pelvic floor pain, and any work I do to calm the muscles down is undone every time I go through my cycle. If I have 3 or 4 months in a row, I don’t get set back to start every month. Hopefully someday it won’t be a problem at all anymore!

Valerie
Valerie
8 years ago

I guess these “scientists” have forgotten THAT THERE’S STILL NO FUCKING CURE FOR CANCER!

Jesus-H-Christ on a cracker.

Oh, and to Joanna- If you have cookies in your house, I’m guessing you’re on your period. Amiright?

BoggiDWurms
BoggiDWurms
8 years ago

“For me, the moral of the story is this: At first women had to work hard to get PMS recognized because our attempts to talk about genuine physical and hormonal reactions to menstruation were dismissed as women being moody, hysterical and useless. Now that PMS is recognized as real and not a mere figment of our girl brains, it’s being used to dismiss women as moody, hysterical and useless. I begin to see a trend ….”

It’s as Ultima Ratio Regum, another user on Manboobzer once observed, the goal posts keep getting moved to make men look like hot shit and women look like plain old shit.

And, as DarkSideCat once said, women very often face a lose-lose situation.

Joanna
8 years ago

“Oh, and to Joanna- If you have cookies in your house, I’m guessing you’re on your period. Amiright?”

Excellent deduction, Valerie, but if I was really on my period, would I be so willing to give away my cookies? The plot thickens!

Lauralot
Lauralot
8 years ago

I never used to get bad cramps with my periods until my sophomore year of college. To this day I have no idea what changed (the gynecologist suspected ovarian cysts, but none were visible on my ultrasound), but for some reason, my cramps went from “it’s annoying, but I can suffer through it without painkillers” to “Are you there, God? I want to die.”

I ended up going on birth control after a horrific experience in which I forgot to take any ibuprofen before I left for work at the campus dining hall in the morning (I didn’t learn to swallow pills until a year later, so borrowing anything from my co-workers wasn’t an option). Over the course of my shift, which was only two hours, my cramps got worse and worse until I couldn’t stand up properly. When I tried to walk back to my dorm after the shift, I kept having to stop and sit down, at one point in the middle of a hallway, because the pain was too bad to walk. I stopped in a office in the building, intending to sit down and rest for a few minutes, but I ended up doubled over on the floor. The receptionist called the paramedics, but they weren’t allowed to transport me anywhere apart from the hospital, so I ended up riding back to my dorm in a campus police car, and then spent the rest of the day curled up in bed. Yeah, that wasn’t my best day.

Thankfully, the birth control completely eliminated the pain. Terrible cramps must run in my family; before my sister went on birth control, my mom drove her to the ER because she was in such pain that they thought it was appendicitis.

Joanna
8 years ago

“I can’t crap while using a tampon.”

I also can’t sneeze while using a tampon. Well, I can, but then I won’t be using that tampon anymore….

Joanna
8 years ago

@Lauralot: Yikes! That must suck. I only ever had one occasion where my cramps were so bad I couldn’t physically move until the pain killers kicked in. I guess I get off lucky for the most part. But speaking of menstrual symptoms, does anyone else ever feel really fed up during their time? I mean, feeling really bored but not wanting to do anything so you sit in front of the tv or internet for hours and hope that something entertains you?

Magpie
8 years ago

So, is “Ethology” a respected science journal?

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1439-0310.2011.02010.x/abstract

Vaguely remember a story about a musician who got a nosebleed on stage, and wanted to play on, so he stuck a tampon up his nose. He didn’t realise they expand 🙁

Lauralot
Lauralot
8 years ago

@Joanna: I hated the time I would spend basically immobile because of cramps. Also in my sophomore year, one of my friends mentioned that she had heard kegels lessened pain from menstruation…I must have done over a thousand of them. Which didn’t do much at all in the way of pain relief…though I did get to experience the bizarre sensation of having stiff vaginal muscles from too much exercise.

Just to break up the string of can’ts with tampons, I can do nude modeling with one in, but I’m extremely paranoid about people noticing every time, and I don’t enjoy it.

katz
8 years ago

I mean, feeling really bored but not wanting to do anything so you sit in front of the tv or internet for hours and hope that something entertains you?

Isn’t that every day?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I can’t wear tampons at all anymore, unless I want to spend the next week immobilized in bed! 🙁 But pads aren’t that bad I guess.

Joanna
8 years ago

@katz: Lol! Yes, but I have other, more productive hobbies I usually turn to in my free time. During my period, they all seem like too much effort.

Kate
Kate
8 years ago

my tmi – I’m really irregular (PCOS) and the only way I know that my period is about to begin is getting bloated and gassy and needing to up my fiber intake and take some anti-diarrhea pills to avoid spending the first half-day on the toilet… horrible craps can go along with horrible cramps… blergh…

Joanna
8 years ago

I’ve always been fascinated by how different women experience different PMS. I knew a girl who goes crazy cleaning the house during her time of the month. I knew another who just gets really horny. The women in my immediate family get hot flashes and find it difficult to sleep at night. I don’t even think there’s a proper scientific explanation for why we all have different experiences though. It mainly goes down to genetics, but that’s all we got so far.

Magpie
8 years ago

When I was a young fledgling, I used to rearrange the furniture and sort out the kitchen cupboards just before my period. I reckon I was nesting XD

Valerie
Valerie
8 years ago

You’re so right Joanna- You wouldn’t be so quick to give up the cookies. I stand corrected.
Damn it, that means I don’t get any cookies. Blast Josh Dangit! Oh wait, i have some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer. I’ll be ok.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
8 years ago

@Joanna – I also had “are you there, God? I want to die” cramps for the entire time I had a period. (It fucked off when I was 23. BEST. CHANGE. OF. LIFE. EVER.) Doctors never figured out why I had them, either.

Even though I’m officially post-menopausal now, I still seem to cycle every three or four months. No period, and the ultrasounds always show that my ovaries are officially Out of Business, but I get the water retention and the sore boobs and the nausea. The cramps were by far the worst part of all that, though. The rest of it is totally bearable.

As for “the craps” – yeah, used to get that too with my period. I don’t know what that’s about either, but my home physician book from the 1940s says that warm-water enemas can help. (I passed.)

Exlore Nature
8 years ago

There is nothing to be surprised, it is normal.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

The “women are hysterical when they have PMS” thing really gets to me, because I get really depressed before (and on the first two days of? is that still PMS? menstrual-associated, anyway) my period. I’m not irrational, I’m not assholish, I’m just very, very sad and lonely. I’m cognitively aware it’s just hormones, but “it’s okay, I know why I’m sad” is still a different thing than “it’s okay, I’m not sad.”

People saying “PMS has no mental effects!” seem to be making my experience invisible for the sake of political expediency. But people saying “PMS makes women raving crazy bitches” are hardly helping either.

Emotional PMS can be a real thing and its sufferers real people who are still in control of themselves, goddammit.

Joanna
8 years ago

@Holly: I know exactly what you mean. There was one summer I spent mostly alone for various reasons. I was also quite late during the first month. The whole time my period was a no-show I was miserable, lonely, fed up, sick of everything and not seeing any point in life in general. Then my period arrived and I suddenly snapped out of it and I was normal me again. I had to remind myself that while I was lonely in general, my out-of-whack cycle super intensified those feelings and I had to be aware of that in future. But yeah, it is kind of scary and really shouldn’t be dismissed. Sometimes, the best cure for PMS is a cuddle.

KristinMH
8 years ago

It’s AFFECTED,Christian J. Not EFFECTED.

That one annoys me almost as much as when people talk about the tenants of a religion.

Anyway, any MRAs want to guess if I’m on my period? Hint: I’m 38 weeks pregnant!

As for hormones affecting your speaking voice, I suppose they must. A lot of singers say they notice a difference during their periods, though I never have.

And Diva Cup FTW.

ithiliana
8 years ago

Menstruation, I’m doing it wrong.

Dang.

Instead of staying home all day because it’s my first day of OMGPERIOD and lying in bed with a hot water bottle or heating pad or even better a nice warm cat (they steal the heating pad anyway), I got up at 5 am, did all the morning chores, came in to work, and spent the day answering emails, and grading two batches of assignments for my online classes (that only came in over the weekened, so my turnaround time is LESS THAN 24 HOURS, and I dont just grade, no, I WRITE COMMENTS. Many comments).

I also walked our new rescue dog a couple of times.

And it’s now nearly 9:00 pm, and I’m still at work.

Menstruation: I’m doing it rong.

ithiliana
8 years ago

@KristinMH: THANK YOU!

Yes, people: listen up.

EFFECT is the NOUN. “You, nasty little troll that you have, have a bad effect on me.”

AFFECT is the VERB: “You, nasty little troll, have affected me badly, and I want to smash your head i.”

See how that works?

Oh, and BTW.

REINS are what you steer a horse by.

REIGNS are what monarchs have (usually kings of course, but YAY ELIZEBETHS!)

ithiliana
8 years ago

Dear Trolls Dudez: Pls to educate yourself on hormones:

http://women.webmd.com/normal-testosterone-and-estrogen-levels-in-women

Women haz testosterone too.

HAH!

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

EFFECT is the NOUN. “You, nasty little troll that you have, have a bad effect on me.”

AFFECT is the VERB: “You, nasty little troll, have affected me badly, and I want to smash your head i.”

Except except when affect is a noun, as in “one of the symptoms of depression is persistent negative affect.”

Just to muddy the waters, you know.

ithiliana
8 years ago

Viscaria: Wow, I did not know that.

OK, then in special instances, affect can be a noun.

But I don’t think effect can ever (correctly) be a verb, correct?

*goes to poke around in some grammar and dictionary places*

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

It can! It means “to bring about” or “to cause”, roughly.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Oh my gosh English, you are such a jerk. Okay, in almost every instance in which you’re going to be using them, effect is the noun and affect is the verb. That should cover you most of the time, unless you’re in a psych class or doing… something where you would need to use effect to mean “to bring about” or “to cause.”

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

or doing… something where you would need to use effect to mean “to bring about” or “to cause.”

I think it’s mostly used when discussing the law and the history of the law.

katz
8 years ago

“Women get PMS” ought to be a statement on a level with “Hungry people are irritable”–what my college English teacher called TBNI (True But Not Interesting). Yes, physical states that change the chemical balance in our bodies will affect our moods. So what?

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

“He effected his escape” is the only time I’ve seen effect as a verb

Joanna
8 years ago

” Yes, physical states that change the chemical balance in our bodies will affect our moods. So what?”

Well, it’s misandry you see. Weren’t you paying attention? Gawd!

captainbathrobe
8 years ago

“He effected his escape” is the only time I’ve seen effect as a verb

Actually, it’s a perfectly cromulant usage.

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

Actually, it’s a perfectly cromulant usage.

Sir, you have taken my point and completely embiggened it. I salute you.

Jenn93
Jenn93
8 years ago

“This information is what feminist have been trying to hide, delete and deny for many a decade.”

Citation needed.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

So, if a period happens roughly once every 28 days, and lasts about 5 days, that means that any given woman is likely to be menstruating, what, about 1/5 of the time? Wow, that statistic sure is super significant.

I remain baffled as to why MRAs think that feminists are trying to hide that men know when we menstruate (which I thought they could subconsciously pick up on via pheremones/smell anyway?). Like, OK, say men were able to pinpoint with 100% accuracy when any given woman was menstruating. So? Their argument rests on the premise that all men think periods are so scary and awful and disgusting that if they KNEW women were menstruating they’d…what? Kill us? Fire us from our jobs immediately? What exactly is it that men would supposedly do with this information if feminists weren’t suppressing it?