Life Before Feminism: A Map of the Open Country of a Woman’s Heart
An alert reader pointed me to this amazing “map” from the 1830s, posted on Ptak Science Books and originally found here. Described as “A Map of the Open Country of a Woman’s Heart,” it presents a less-than-flattering picture of the supposed shallowness, vanity and selfishness of the female of the species. Click on the pic above to see it full size.
It’s amazing how closely this resembles so many Manosphere “critiques” of evil modern women; the main difference is that it’s a bit more polite in its language. Also, no mention of stinky vaginas.
Manospherians love to talk about “taking the red pill,” as if their ideas are all new and cool and Matrixy. Actually, of course, their ideas are old as fuck. It’s more like they are taking a gulp of Dr. Flimflam’s Electro Magnetic Misogyny Fluid.
Below, another amazing picture also found on Ptak, which presents data on where women’s eyes linger when looking at men. (Again, click on it to see it full size.) I suspect this one would be a bit more confounding to the Manospherians of today, in that it doesn’t show women looking only at the dude’s wallet. The post on Ptak offers a more detailed explanation of what this picture is about.
Posted on January 20, 2012, in $MONEY$, evil women, life before feminism, misogyny, pics, reactionary bullshit, vaginas. Bookmark the permalink. 664 Comments.
I’ve seen wolf spiders here in tennessee that are large enough to bonk into walls (that was a hilarious story!). But they have pretty good eyesight and aren’t klutzy. Oh, and they aren’t afraid. They don’t run away: they sort of saunter over to you to check you out. *shudder* . (I don’t think they’re especially agressive, though. Just curious and fearless.)
And a wolf spider with 100 babies on her back? Intellectually, I think it’s really sweet that she’s such a caring mom. But if I see one, I just want to run away then curl up in a ball and whimper in fear.
Exploring Naturalist Fallacy: In my personal life, there is not a single man protecting me in any way whatsoever. My partner is a woman. I’ve never married. I didn’t and don’t want children (YAY menopause).
In my professional life as a college professor, I cannot think of any way a man is protecting me (my current department head is ahahahahahaha a woman). I have had male colleagues who tried to get me demoted or punished in ways that were underhanded and unprofessional and in one case illegal, but I’ve also had male colleagues who supported me as a colleague (NOT as a woman).
In a political ream, the state government of Texas which is dominated by conservative white men ain’t protecting me in any way that they don’t extend to men (although white women and people of color are the least protected ‘humans’ in Texas–the real protection is for white male buidnesses. National government, ditto–i.e. in what way are they protecting me that men aren’t also protected?
And my ire at the ways in which the feds are behaving the last few decades makes it more likely for me to consider the national government in general my enemy.
So, before I reload all my guns and go out and killz me some more menz in this war against men, just what the fuck do you mean anyway? And gave you give me any specifics, especially supported by more than individual stories, i.e. CITATION FUCKING NEEDED.
LOOK AT ME IGNORING THE HELL OUT OF SPIDER LINKS PICS OR COMMENTS HOLY SHIT
I’ve met a small grey one in Iraq (it hitched a ride on my chemical warfare gear… I took my load-bearing vest off and there it was. It had been a couple of inches from my elbow…) I beat it to death with my rifle butt, because it was in the humvee and I didn’t want to sit on it with my butt.
I also saw an Iraqi Brown Snake, which is member of the Elapidae (cobras and coral snakes).
I’ve also seen camel spiders.
And lots of black emperor scorpions. In the US I’ve seen about half a dozen various rattlesnakes, and a couple of sorts of scorpions, and more black widows than one can count, as well as the American Southwestern member of the Camel Spider Family, and a fair number of tarantulas.
Tarantula Wasps too… those are scary.
Once, on a small field problem in Missouri (lots of bugs) I was the only guy awake; we were all flopped taking a half hour nap in the afternoon, and there was a pretty big spider (brown with a yellow abdomen) crawling across Kilo’s chest. He was from Jamaica, so I let him sleep, lest he panic.
The problem I have with the Hunstman is the smoothness of them. That globularity looks bad, makes me think of Shelob.
The weirdest spiders I ever say were in Korea, a semi-communal web-structure. I looked them up once, and the life cycle was interesting. The webs could cover several cubic feet.
I have to go to work, so I can’t talk about having kept tarantulas; or the male posturing which was part of the reason I have ever held one. When I get back.
Omg I can’t believe I missed a spider post….check out this spider single mother with all her children! probably just using them to steal child support from their fathers and leech money from the government. Bitch.
@Pecunium
please tell me this isn’t real…lie if you have to!!! http://www.camel-spiders.net/images/iraqi-spider-small.jpg
Ok ok one more. Spiders are like MRAs for me. They gross me out, but I can’t stop observing them online lol
Wolf spider on a hand..ON A HAND! would have been OK on a tree, but the hand! It’s 3 in the morning and i’m up cos i can’t sleep – thank you spider people! I may never sleep again.
Let’s just call this the “harry butler’s hat” thread.
My scariest wildlife encounter was back in Africa when we went camping out in the savannah on a class trip. In the middle of the night, all I feel is this heavy ass snake wriggling on top of my sleeping bag. I curled up in a ball inside, clutched the opening together to shut it, and prayed while pissing my pants that it wouldn’t come in lolll
Look!
A cape and scarf made from spider web cloth!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9674000/9674949.stm
ignores all the other icky spider stuff
That diagram can’t be accurate, it’s missing point # DAT ASS.
I think that would be filed under “trousers”. Although data point #8 suspiciously looks like where the button is for that suit coat.
*ignores conversation about horrifying nightmare creatures from the bowels of hell, miniature demon version*
Spiders are afraid of David Futrelle.
If spiders had a sensible number of eyes, I would not find close up pictures of them so utterly horrifying. In RL, I can deal because they’re small and don’t look like they could rip my head off and eat it at any time.
That cape and scarf are wonderful, ithiliana.
I love spiders! I think they are such fascinating and beautiful little creatures. Don’t particularly want the little guys on me, but I love to watch them do their spider thing. When I was a kid I would watch them spin their webs for hours.
There was an article recently about how they’re trying to use spiderweb silk for army usage, actually-it’s incredibly strong and lightweight, of course.
I think the part that really sends me into freakout wrt spiders is the way they move. I can look at the still pics of them, but the *crawling*–and no, not looking at the vid of the squirming mass of spider babies on the giant wolf spider, gah.
I have conflicting emotions about spiders. On the one hand, I think they’re cool little animals with fascinating habits and abilities. On the other, HOLY SHIT A POISONOUS MONSTER KILL IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. (I mostly feel this way about the larger ones.)
22-year-old guys chew on table legs and pee on thr carpet! Who knew?
Ozy, I once read a legit published mystery novel where EVERY CHARACTER was introduced by their height and weight. As in”Joan knocked on the door. She was 5’7″ and 120 pounds with light brown hair” or words to that effect.
But it wasn’t just the hot young women, it was literally every character, including (IIRC) a dog.
At the time I thought it was hilarious, but thinking back it seems to suggest that the author had some serious body issues. And editing issues, but you know.
@Katz: zaaww, fluffy squirrel o_o Yes, Clint Eastwood (in suit +2) near cute fluff ball +5 becomes veeerrrry attractive
normal Clint Eastwood in suit +2, he’s alright.
@lowquacks: there are very few spider ( and arachnid and insect ) pictures I’ve look at and found them particularly cute. I love reptiles, amphibians, mammals especially and birds are okay, but most of them look graceful or dignified… I’m also deathly afraid of moths, so there’s that.
There is the spider gif, with giant eyes and fluffy fluff that plays the drums. That’s adorable.
I’m fascinated by animals but I’m too squeamish to do a live feed. Otherwise I would totally keep a snake and/or a spider. I’ve been lucky enough to come across some of the deadliest snakes and not been noticed. These two were especially crazy/scary to see:
On a safari, we saw a black mamba take down a springbok fawn.. scary fuckin thing
Spiders don’t scare me. Neither do snakes. Moths, on the other hand, with their hideous hairy bodies and tendency to try and fly into your face out of nowhere in the middle of the night freak me out.
I’ve never seen a black mamba, but king cobras are huge! She didn’t even put her hood up from the enclosure, but she was about 6 feet long and as wide as 11-12 inches. It was the first picture I was taking at the zoo in an inside location and I forgot to turn my flash off in the reptile house (flashes reflect on the glass and the photo will only be a white blur).
That king cobra jerked her head and I jumped back. Even behind a wall she was very intimidating:
On the wall next to the cage it mentioned how king cobras also highly intelligent. They don’t strike at the regular handlers and in the wild when a human disrupts their nest, unlike any other animal, they will run away instead of fighting to the death.
I like snakes, they’re cool animals but I wouldn’t touch one unless its wasn’t poisonous. Lizards are neat too. I’m a big fish lover. I’d love to have huge aquariums but they’re a pain in the arse to care for. And turtles! turtles are adorable.
@darksidecat I know! And that horrible way they fly in circles around lights! So awful.
Wasps and spiders I will freak the fuck out over. Moths? I’m kinda meh about them. I’m more startled than “GET THE DEMON THING AWAY!” I find it amusing to watch them donk into things.
I think moths are cute. This one looks like a fairy http://images.wildmadagascar.org/pictures/andasibe-Mantady/Comet_moth_00.jpg
What I hate the most though, and what freaks the shit out of me…house centipedes. Ugh.
I like spiders, but I wouldn’t like a spider as big as my hand. Or at least, I would only like it in a nice tank or something, not out and about where it could be all scary on me. The biggest spider I’ve ever had in my home was only about the size of my top thumb joint; it seemed to live in and around the kitchen blinds. I just let it be.
But I can’t stand roaches. My sister-in-law thinks I’m nuts, because I have an easier time with the little ones than with the big ones. She makes the very sensible points that the little ones will infest your cupboards and get into your food, while the big ones live outdoors and mostly leave you alone. I do not care. The giant palmetto bugs we have in Texas are an abomination. They are big, fast, difficult to kill, and they fly. Fortunately I haven’t seen any in my current apartment. My last apartment, they were a lot more common. Standard practice was to beat them to death in the bathtub, using the plunger. One time, in the apartment before that one, there was a huge roach on the wall above my bed. I tried to kill it, but it just fell off the wall into the space between the wall and my bed… and I slept on the couch that night.
For a while in college, when I was at home during breaks I stayed in the guest room, rather than my childhood bedroom, because the guest room was separate from the rest of the house and had more privacy. It was also less well-insulated and was more vulnerable to bug incursions. And it didn’t have a lot of furniture, so a lot of my stuff was kept in plastic bags on the floor around the bed. They were like my roach early-warning system. I could hear the rustle-rustle of the horrible beasts climbing over the plastic.
Eurgh.
o_o burgundy, that guest room story sounds terrifying. hearing the roaches slowly walk towards you through the crinkling sound of plastic bags… ugh
In my final year of college, I was renting a room in a basement apartment. The day I moved out I did a final check of the room to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind. There in the closet was a giant house centipede. I know he was all “yeah bitch you KNOW I was crawling all over your stuff.”
The closet is his now. May God have mercy on the next student who moved in.
I just googled Palmetto bug…they look so….crunchy…ughh. I hope I never have to run into one.
Oh! I forgot the worst guest-room story! The room has several fluorescent light fixtures – the long rectangular ones, like in schools and stuff. One of them was right over the bed. One day I was lying in bed, and the lights were on, and there was this skittering noise, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then I looked up.
I don’t know how the roach got into the fixture, and I didn’t know if it could get out. In the meantime, I could only watch it running around directly above my face. It ran and ran and ran and ran and… stopped. Oh good, I thought, it’s dead. Then it got up and ran around some more. And then stopped. The periods of running got shorter and the periods of stopping got longer, until it finally died. In the light fixture. Right over my bed.
@Quackers It’s not so much how they look as the flight pattern. It’s like they are doing something eldritch and non-euclidean. And how some of them eat my yarn. If they are sitting still, I quite like them myself. But once they are starting to try to summon the old ones, I can’t get out of there fast enough.
@ersatzmoon
I was lucky (and unlucky) enough to live in a country where mambas were semi-common (more black than green). The time I saw a king cobra, I was in SL and I was watching a couple of cobras drinking the milk that was left for them at their nest. Next thing we see, they’re running back into their nest and we see a king cobra coming around to drink!! It was a real “Omar’s coming” moment!! I’ve gotten up close with quite a few different types of snakes thanks to the popularity of snake charming/handling in Lanka. Also, re: your comment about cobras’ intelligence, they rarely bite the people that go to their nests to leave milk.
@KristinMH: 22-year-old guys chew on table legs and pee on thr carpet! Who knew?
When is the last time you were in a frat house (I kid, I kid).
When I was a wee lass, I worked at a nature center. Part of my job was feeding the exotics that they kept there (they took in former pets who had been abandoned by their owners). I loved feeding the rats and lizards and frogs. Feeding the Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches and the tarantula was all right, you just had to be really careful to keep them from escaping. The worst job, far and away, was actually the doves, because it involved cleaning up bird shit. Ew.
p.s. By far the coolest fucking snake for my money http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/albino_cobras_1sfw.jpg
@M Dubz
What did you feed the cockroaches?
I absolutely love snakes.
Spiders, on the other hand, I am not a big fan of the spiders. Probably due to the time I stepped outside and a spider that had been hanging out on the door frame landed on my head.
@Cayora
Yeah their flight patterns are rather erratic. What does non-euclidean mean though? (sorry if it’s a dumb question lol)
All this talk about bugs is making my head itch . . .
@ Shadow: I fed them directly on horror and suffering! (also, fruit and veg)
@Hippodameia: Behold, I bring the antidote!
@lauralot- soooooo much adorable! (the cats are pretty cute too)
Awwww.
My kittens are off at the spay/neuter clinic. I’m paranoid some horrific accident will take place on the table. o_o
When my cat came back from being neutered, one of his pupils was far larger than the other one. I was terrified, but apparently that’s not unusual for cats coming off of anesthesia. And he seemed to have an easier time of it than I did coming off anesthesia for my wisdom teeth.
Best of luck to your cats, Zhinxy!
I hope all goes well for the kittens, Zhinxy!
@Quackers
I’m not Pecunium, but I can tell you that that’s actually two camel spiders photographed in rather a misleading way, but it is real.
Thanks, guys! Not long now until they’re back! :)
Camel Spiders are pretty awesome looking though:
Speaking of creepy crawlies, apparently Tucker Max is retiring from eternal fratboy writing now that he’s reached the tender age of 90 or whatever it is. Also, he had neglectful parents, and has Issues. I know, I’m shocked too.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelellsberg/2012/01/18/tucker-max-gives-up-the-game/2/
Shadow, that’s awesome o.o
Rattlesnakes are the ones poisonous ones around here, but I’ve only run into garter and bull snakes outside.
Another picture with hot man and pugs:
http://dannybrito.tumblr.com/post/16212979874/oh-okay
The Camel Spider in Caraz’s photo looks pretty Jim Henson-esque to me.
@Caraz
WTF IS THAT?!!! It’s like proof of life on other planets or some shit! I for one welcome our spidery overlords.
@ersatzmoons
I like homeboy’s pose: “I’m too sexy for my clothes, too sexy for my clothes… also, pugs.”
You know, I haven’t wet the bed in thirteen years; maybe it’s time to take it back up.
@lowquacks
oh I know, but even one alone is friggen huge O_O
actually they reminds me a bit of the coconut crab, which is as close as we’ll get to seeing a real life Dr. Zoidberg http://izismile.com/2009/06/01/giant_coconut_crab_27_pics.html
Thank you, Lauralot! Kittenss are always good. XD
@Quackers Non-euclidean is not adhering to the usual rules of geometry. I guess flying in circles isn’t terribly non-euclidean, but it is also a Lovecraft reference.
Now snakes, those are awesome and fascinating from a distance and not at all scary in controlled circumstances. But in the wild…if Shadow’s situation the peeing myself bit would have been quite literal. The biggest snake I ever saw was in Kuala Lumpur – we were all having breakfast in the kitchen when it showed up in my friend’s garden. It was REALLY big, though none of us had the nerve to go outside and try to measure it. We just watched and were grateful that snakes don’t know how to open sliding doors. Thailand is also blessed with some interesting wildlife, but I don’t remember anything particularly horrifying other than unusually aggressive mosquitos.
I did once briefly date a guy who owned a boa. I say briefly because I refused to sleep at his house out of fear that I would wake up in the middle of the night with the snake wrapped around me. It wasn’t caged in any way, it just kind of hung out and wandered around. He also had a very big, very exciteable Doberman, and the snake would hide from the dog. I could never figure out of it was scared of the dog or if it just found the constant barking and attempts to play annoying.
Australian here. I live opposite a nature reserve so I see a lot if wildlife, particularly snakes and spiders. I’ve seen black snakes, red bellied black snakes, carpet snakes and brown snakes. Carpet snakes are so fierce that they will come after you if you piss them off. The rest slither off if you make a noise. I’ve had lots of huntsman spiders in my house and found a red back in my bath the other day. Usually they stay under the front steps but I think this one wanted water and climbed in through the window.
They don’t particularly bother me, I just trap them in a glass and take them outside and let them go. The possums that fall through the ceiling vents are more of a problem, though. Very cute but they have sharp claws and teeth and will fight if they feel cornered.
The bogong moths are pretty nice, though but we see less of them than we used too.
Kind of OT, but I think MRAL may now be attempting to troll Jezebel too, If you’re a starred commenter over there take a look at some of the pink comments, especially in the teen sex thread.
(I am now attempting to wash my mind of any and all thoughts of giant hairy spiders.)
CassandraSays: As much as I loathe and fear spiders — am better than I used to be due to amazing number of spiders here — I’ll take spiders over MRAL any day.
I don’t read at Jezabel–do you have to be starred to see some comments? (Apprently they were unstarring commenters who were critical of Hugo)?
Is MRAL bravely fighting the pro-Hugo stance there, or is he railing about being spat upon?
The Camel Spiders 1: aren’t spiders. They have no venom. 2: Are nowhere near as large as that photo makes them look. Not more than about 4″, tip of pedi-palp to back of leg. The strangest bug I saw in Iraq was a mole-cricket. They are vegetarian, and move like electric locomotives. I can post a photo if anyone is interested.
The scariest thing I saw as a red wasp. Red like Evil Witch Fingernails. About the length of my index finger and a sting which looked like a 16 ga needle. It landed in the fly bait and the venom was coming out in visible droplets. It took a long time to die. Thankfully we never saw another one. I have slide somewhere.
I’ve kept/bred several types of snakes. Snakes are nice. I won’t keep, “hot” snakes. Sooner or later a mistake of some sort gets made, and a snake will nip at you… not so good if anti-venin is the next thing one needs to do.
I’ve met a few rattlesnakes in the wild, Here’s one.
My ex kept spiders. She actually did work as a spider wrangler. She knew the guy who did the spiders for Arachnaphobia (he’s a swell guy) and while she was too young to work on that with him, she did work on Spiderman (the red, white, and blue, spiders were not CGI. they were black widows, which had been painted). She got a mention in the book about the making of the film). Steve wasn’t able to do a gig, and called to see if she wanted to do it.
So we got a pallet of tarantulas, and headed to where they were shooting the inserts for a season of “Ripley’s Believe It, or Not!” and provided a Mexican Rose Knee for Dean Kane to handle. I was unwilling to let him show me up, so I actually helped wrangle the spider, and let it crawl on me. The only time I have ever been willing to do that. It wasn’t bad, not at all what I thought. Not tickly, not heavy, not scary. I’d still rather handle birds.
I also got to drink “weasel shit coffee”, which is great coffee, but not worth $600 a lb.
Pecunium – Kopi Luwak, or something, right? It was one of my favorite Straight Dope columns.
PS. my kitties are fine, and seem to harbor no lasting resentments, huzzah! Ty all for the well-wishing.
ah! one of my favorite straight dopes ever! On the ass ends of civets in the production of perfume and overpriced coffee!!1
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2306/does-civet-come-from-tortured-cats
Oh, ass ends of mongoose relatives, what would we do without you…
@ithiliana
On all of the Gawker sites there are comments that you can only see if you’re a starred commenter. Newcomers basically have to audition to become commenters, so starred commenters can see their comments and approve them if we want to. Approving trollish comments is strongly discouraged, because then the troll is able to comment again and be seen by everyone. The starred commenters are basically the filtration system – if we all think someone is a troll, or an idiot, in theory they’ll never be approved to comment.
(Though sometimes people approve troll comments if they’re so annoyed that they can’t help restrain themselves from responding, which also approves the comment.)
@ Pecunium
Red wasps are horrible, terrifying creatures. Stinging insects that fly in general are really not my favorite thing, but wasps and hornets are more alarming than bees unless the bees are a swarm.
I would think that the manboobzettes here would LIKE spiders! They are kindred spirits! It is female spiders, after all, which are the deadliest, and some even kill and eat their mates!
I wonder why none of you even bothered to mention that!
As far as the original topic is concerned, maybe this Ptak knew something in the 1830’s that we have forgotten! Women, even at their best, are often vacuous, overemotional, given to fits of hysteria (especially, I suppose at their time of the month, hence the name “hysteria” derived from the ancient Greek word for womb), and often given to trickery, deceit, and sly manipulation…
Not that any of you on manboobz.com have any reason to resent or challenge my observations. You aren’t women, after all, only feminists!
Go join your sister spiders! The only difference between them and feminists is that most spiders won’t attack unless threatened (or hungry). Feminists and modern women are vicious, spiteful, and hateful for no reason at all! Being that the most vicious spiders(and many insects) are female, youall have more in common with them anyhow.
I love the logic here. Women are horrible, and you should be very insulted that I said you weren’t a woman.
“No, no, mister, please don’t say that, I can be vacuous and hysterical with the best of them!”
[David K. Meller], even at [his] best, [is] often vacuous, overemotional, given to fits of hysteria…
Fixed that for ya.
Yes, if only we could go back in time to the 1830’s and converse with this mysterious Ptak to find out… (Is there no text so brief you can’t utterly mangle it in comprehension? XD )
Feminists and modern women are vicious, spiteful, and hateful [to David K. Meller, because he's an asshole]!
And again.
Also, hysteria meant “moving womb”, and was thought to be caused by a disturbed womb. Had shit to do with the period.