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Christopher Hitchens is no more, yet women remain unfunny: The Spearhead pays tribute

Hitch also enjoyed smoking.

As you may have heard, Christopher Hitchens – writer, drinker, atheist, shit-stirrer – died the other day. He’s gotten tributes from people all over the political spectrum. Over on The Spearhead, the fellows are paying tribute to his life. Well, not so much his life as to his opinion that women just aren’t funny – apparently their vaginas get in the way, or something.

Here a fellow named Rocco offers his fond remembrances of the man:

I applaud him and wish him to be considered by the big man upstairs to have done the world a service by publically opposing the political machine that is feminism by telling a simple truth.

Woman aren’t funny and men do alot of the great stuff they do like music, art and war to impress women.

Maybe this is why women will never invent anything, why bother.

Twenty upvotes and one downvote for that. Presumably that one downvote is from God, who’s probably spent the last couple of days just going around downvoting anything positive said about Hitchens.

Keyster elaborated further:

His point being that not only do women not need to be funny to attract men, they don’t need to do anything else but simply be women; dress nicely, wear a little make up and perfume – – pleasant personality or the ability to engage in substantive conversation is completely optional.

Everything men strive for is to attract more women.

Everything women strive for is to be more like men.

See the conflict?

Attila added this:

This Cuntry has become so PC- that it couldn’t produce someone like Hitchens- as much as I may disagree with some of his views. He had a functioning mind- and an evidently rigorous education. Can anyone name anybody like him in the public arena? The fact he could throw words like “dyke” around with ease in the middle of his perorations shows a great deal of confidence (he wouldn’t let himself be bullied).

Hitch, this part of your legacy lives on!

But it’s a little-noticed comment from Nutz that highlights Hitch’s most impressive accomplishment:

Well, he was drunk in a lot of his interviews. Personally I thought he was great and one of the things that made him remarkable–he’d be drunk in an interview or debate and still soundly spank the other person with his wit.

Whether you loved him or hated him, agreed with him or disagreed with him, you’ve got to admit: he somehow managed to accomplish more while staggeringly drunk than most of us accomplish stone-cold sober. And that’s something, I guess.

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Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

“Also, being pathologically afraid of “strong women” is silly. As silly as being pathologically afraid of werewolves or dragons. ”
Arks, you’re awesome.

Bostonian
8 years ago

Well the blood vagina cartel was good too.

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

“Also, being pathologically afraid of “strong women” is silly. As silly as being pathologically afraid of werewolves or dragons. ”

Actually, these guys consider “strong women” far scarier than werewolves and dragons. That’s because werewolves and dragons are the stuff of fiction and fantasy, while strong women are not; they actually exist. (And they often dare to call the misogynists on their insecure, threatened bullshit.)

Kyrie
Kyrie
8 years ago

Technically, I’m a dragon. The Chinese horoscope and my wildest fantasies (it can also be I have one) say so.

Molly Ren
8 years ago

So much new stuff to add to The Book of Arks… this is the easiest mock thread I’ve ever started! 😀

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

The day that women aspire to be more than glorified pieces of furniture that just sit on their mobile phones texting while contributing nothing, is the day they become worthy of respect.

Wow, I never met a woman who was a “piece of furniture.” I guess they come in handy when you need someone to put your feet up on. As for “sitting” on a mobile phone and texting…double WOW…you must know some very talented contortionists!

Bostonian
8 years ago

Molly you must include the blood vagina cartel! and the clam divers! I did not see those on the first read through.

M Dubz
M Dubz
8 years ago

And now I’m also pretty sure that Arks doesn’t know any women either. Most women in this world of ours have jobs that pay real money and do things.

Molly Ren
8 years ago

Bostonian: I mentioned it in the new version but I guess I literally need to put in “blood vagina cartel”. Also I guess I could put “clam divers” under “Slang”? 😛

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

I think he sneaks into department stores after they close and hangs with the mannequins.

Xanthe
Xanthe
8 years ago

kladle’s forum comment links to the blood vagina comment, weren’t both “clam divers” and “lady gravy” earlier in that same thread?

Alphalady
Alphalady
8 years ago

How old are these guys? 13?

katz
8 years ago

If they were 13, NWO would be hitting on them.

Leni
Leni
8 years ago

Horseshit. For many men, misogyny stems from their *disappointment* in womankind, frustration over women’s refusal to attempt a role outside of the submissive, docile infant.

Oh those poor fuckign dears. My heart breaks. How hard must it be for them to be disappointed in others.

When I think ‘woman’ the first thing that comes to mind is ‘wasted potential.’ The day that women aspire to be more than glorified pieces of furniture that just sit on their mobile phones texting while contributing nothing, is the day they become worthy of respect.

Whereas you are a like, what, some kind of super genius? What with your cancer curing and super useful blog comments about how useless other people are?

Ironic. And also kind of funny.

Leni
Leni
8 years ago

Also, here’s more Hitchens being awesome.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

>>Do I think it’s illustrative of French culture as a whole? No.

Well it certainly is illustrative of how many French think of their own culture. A French Magic:TG player was banned from Organized Play recently for joking that he would rape the woman in charge of recent controversial changes to Organized Play, and the overall reaction on the French MTG websites was “silly American prudes, first DSK now this?”

ithiliana
8 years ago

http://www.mercurynews.com/cupertino/ci_19501921

Women doing science! YOUNG women doing science! Winning big prizes.

And i bet she can be pretty darn funny at times too.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
8 years ago

Alright, I recant my previous statements that women aren’t funny :-P:

Leni
Leni
8 years ago

I couldn’t watch past 30 seconds of that.

zhinxy
8 years ago

The old adage rings true once again: “Men work for happiness, women are given it for free.”

Weird, I never heard that old adage. Huh.

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS452US452&ix=heb&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=Men+work+for+happiness%2C+women+are+given+it+for+free.%E2%80%9D#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS452US452&source=hp&q=%22Men+work+for+happiness%2C+women+are+given+it+for+free.%E2%80%9D&pbx=1&oq=%22Men+work+for+happiness%2C+women+are+given+it+for+free.%E2%80%9D&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=64444l64444l0l64685l1l1l0l0l0l0l186l186l0.1l1l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&fp=4c9bb6de3c4a5627&biw=1920&bih=947

Googling the old adage reveals no examples of the old adage, except for you. Right now. Which is proof feminists have scrubbed a good old adage from the internets. Better keep using it! It might catch on again! Just as it did in days of old!!!

cynickal
cynickal
8 years ago

“a good example of guys that I really cant STAND are gamergeeks who tell stupid jokes constantly and think they’re clever + witty…UGH”

So a paladin, a cleric, and a dwarf walk into a bar…
Wait…
/cries 🙁

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

>>>So a paladin, a cleric, and a dwarf walk into a bar…

3 adventurers and no rogue in sight? Somebody is getting sneak attacked…

cynickal
cynickal
8 years ago

No, that’s just 1 character, you humanist, single-classist. :p