Maxim explains “How to Cure a Feminist”
Given that we live in a feminazi gynocracy, with evil feminasties controlling all that we see and hear, it’s amazing that something like this ever found its way into print. This is from Maxim, in 2003. I found it here. Click on it to see it full size.
In the interest of accuracy, I would like to note that the woman pictured below might not be an actual feminist, as her armpit hair appears to be fake.
From Maxim, 2003.
NOTE: This post contains
Posted on December 13, 2011, in antifeminism, evil women, I'm totally being sarcastic, idiocy, misogyny, reactionary bullshit, that's not funny!. Bookmark the permalink. 522 Comments.
@Boadie,
This is turning out to be one of my favorite blogs. I’m a lesbian feminist, but I think I have a crush on you. <3 Look at that! You cured me! Lol! Just kidding, I'm only half-lesbian, but I do consider most men to be vile. Love your blog though. ;)
Just to second Holly, you can also take your trans-phobia and fuck right off, because we’re not about that here, either.
Yeah, it’s utterly bizarre, on pretty much every level. I’m torn between finding it hilarious and just finding it really, really sad that one anonymous person thinking a random guy is merely “kind of cute” rather than a “perfect physical specimen” is enough to send him over the edge.
The thing is, if she’d said he was a perfect physical specimen and raved about his looks, MRAL would be sulking about that.
(Okay, I got curious and Googled Sean Foreman too. Not my cup of tea, sorry.)
I mean, I can see that he’s generically what’s considered hot these days, but for me? I wouldn’t fuck him with someone else’s vagina. Not my type at all.
Shaenon, I would not be and am not mean to women, despite the fact that they have been mean to me, because I am a nice person. So I would not be anything like an AA.
Then why are you mean to the women here? You’re mean to me all the time, and I’m a woman. You’ve never been nice to me.
Other people have pointed this out to you, but when you actually date a woman, there will be times when she upsets you, or gets on your nerves, or does something you think is dumb, because she will be human. At those times, it will be hard to be nice, and it will be easy to yell and swear and threaten violence as you routinely do here. I worry about that, because so far I always see you taking the easy option when you’re upset.
I google Sean Foreman too. Not my type either, though conventionally good looking.
But! -and I say that for you MRAL – that does not mean that to be viewed by me as sexy, cute or whatever a man has to be something more. Just different, in a way I, not a majority of people – like.
And to illustrate that not liking poor Sean doesn’t liking only 5% of the men in the world: tonight, I was with some people, two of them were way more sexy (IMO) than Foreman.
What the fuck is a half lesbian? I know lesbian, straight, bi, gay, homo, hetero, pansexual, degrees of kinsey scale… but I’ve never heard “half lesbian” as a sexual or romantic orientation.
I don’t get the misogynists obsession with women who don’t shave. Why do they care? It’s none of their business if a woman chooses to shave or not shave her armpits, legs, or anything else. It’s her hair, her body, her prerogative.
Shaenon, but I have noticed that women usually become more stuck-up when they put on dresses or makeup or whatever, because their goal is to appeal to the ALPHA FUCKS. I have found them condescending toward their “non-targets”. I think that’s my interpretation, anyway.
Even beyond all the other things wrong with this line of reasoning – MRAL, are you under the impression that women in monogamous relationships never get dressed up?
If you are aware that women in monogamous relationships still sometimes wear “dresses or makeup or whatever,” why do you believe we do that? Are we still trying to appeal to ALPHA FUCKS, despite being explicitly uninterested in any romantic/sexual relationship with them, or are we maybe, possibly doing it for other reasons, such as “because it makes us feel confident” or “because we’re going to events where dresses, etc. are expected” or “because it’s part of our dress code at work/school” or “because we want to look nice for our partners” or plain ol’ “because we just felt like it today”?
And if you can accept that women in relationships might be wearing a dress or makeup because they’re going to their friend’s wedding or they feel confident and pretty in it or they’re required to or they’re trying to appeal to one specific person they’re personally attracted to or they just really like that dress/lipstick/whatever…why is it so hard to believe that the same motives might apply to single women, too?
Anyway not many people go outdoors (except at the beach, I guess?) dressed like #3 or #4. So if you’re being oppressed by women who go to class in their underwear, I… shit, I want to go to your school.
Captain Bathrobe, what part of her comment do you refer to when you say trans-phobia?
Kyrie, click her name and look at her blog.
This is a joke, right? I am laughing, right? LOL!
MRAL: Why do you persist in this idea that every single woman is exactly the same as any other? You don’t seem to have a problem understanding that men are all different, and want different things from life, why is applying this to women so fucking difficult?
MRAL, I’m seconding Shaenon’s comments. Your brain is lying to you. It is telling you things to make you feel bad. My brain does the same thing: it tells me I’m sad and ugly and worthless and unloveable. You have to learn not to listen to your brain, which is really hard I know– I still have trouble with it.
That Sean person is very meh to me. Now David Krumholtz, David Krumholtz is hot like a very hot thing. Maybe because the first role I ever saw him in was as a mathematician and the inherent hotness of mathematicians bled over into my opinion of him. But seriously. He has the cutest nose ever. And his smile–!
Incidentally, my mother went to a cocktail party a couple of nights ago, and wore (unsurprisingly) a cocktail dress, and makeup, and heels, and fancy earrings – you know, the sort of things commonly worn to a cocktail party.
My mother has been happily married to my father (who is an obese, bearded, bespectacled dude with mediocre personal hygiene and no fashion sense whatsoever) for 40 years. I am fairly certain she was not trying to appeal to any ALPHA FUCKS. I mean, I could be wrong, but it really doesn’t seem terribly likely. MRAL, do you actually think my mother magically got more stuck-up because she was wearing something that required a strapless bra than she is when she’s just running around in her lab coat and comfy shoes? Do you honestly think she had any “target” in mind beyond “have fun at cocktail party with husband, look pretty and cocktail-party-appropriate while doing so”?
Heck, given the picture that inspired this, do you think all women get more stuck-up when we’re in our underwear?
That Sean person is very meh to me. Now David Krumholtz, David Krumholtz is hot like a very hot thing. Maybe because the first role I ever saw him in was as a mathematician and the inherent hotness of mathematicians bled over into my opinion of him. But seriously. He has the cutest nose ever. And his smile–!
Agreed! If I were designing a physically-ideal-to-me guy from scratch, he would end up bearing more than a passing resemblance to David Krumholtz. Especially the hair. I adore his hair.
I tend to get more depressed when I’m in my underwear, but I like clothes, so . . .
Is it wrong if I think the first woman is more attractive in that picture? I’m a straight chick so I guess I don’t get to say much about it in the first place, but I like a bit of ruffly hair and baggy, comfortable clothing on my dudes and I think it’s pretty nice on the ladies.
Mr. Al, have you considered going back to therapy? I know you kind of felt like, he suggested the glasses and the shoes, and so now you’re cured. But … maybe think about giving it another go, eh?
Shaenon, but I have noticed that women usually become more stuck-up when they put on dresses or makeup or whatever, because their goal is to appeal to the ALPHA FUCKS. I have found them condescending toward their “non-targets”. I think that’s my interpretation, anyway.
Of course that’s your interpretation. This is because you hate yourself, and you project that hatred onto other people. Especially women.
Related to the point about how not all men like the supposedly super-hot fratboy…why bother with this whole transform a butch program? Why not just go find a women who you like in the first place? The only reason is the urge to go “dance, girl monkeys, dance!” that Maxim is so obsessed with, and apparently MRAL is too.
Brndn demands his baby mama ask him in just the right way, and MRAL/JOHN goes into rage because an anonymous person on the internet does not phrase hir phrase of somebody I’ve never heard of in just the right way!
Holly’s right, dude–ever hear of understatement? Ever heard of people perhaps choosing not to splort graphic TMI in public spaces? I mean, geez if you were in fact enraged all that day, hie thee to your therapist, STAT.
Btw, MRAL, don’t read youtube comment. It’s a idea for most people, and a very bad one for you.
MRAL is just so damned sad. Most of his posts give me the mental image of a red-faced, sobbing child.
It’s so odd to even note obvious things like “married people sometimes dress up” or “average-looking men have sex,” but he really doesn’t seem to get it.
Okay, MRAL, last Saturday I wore a dress and my husband wore an attractive sweater and pants and we went to the theater to see a play as a holiday treat. My husband is average height, skinny, bald, and, get this, has a wonky eye. We had a very nice time. Here’s the really weird part: I didn’t drop my top to catch the eye of an Alpha Cock Bearer and he didn’t even try to snag a hottie in the peak of her fertility. Your world view is beyond fucked up, kiddo.
@ozymandias42
“You have to learn not to listen to your brain, which is really hard I know– I still have trouble with it.”
The feminist creedo. How else could anyone be a feminist? Be a feminist by not listening to your brain.
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@Polliwog
“If you are aware that women in monogamous relationships still sometimes wear “dresses or makeup or whatever,” why do you believe we do that? Are we still trying to appeal to ALPHA FUCKS, despite being explicitly uninterested in any romantic/sexual relationship with them,”
Oh yes indeedy! Women dress up who are in laughably monogomous relationships for the sexual satisfaction they get from any man who pays attention to them for their sexuality. They lap it up like warm kibbles and bits on a cold winters day.
What’s the difference between a man in a monogomous relationship who talks up every woman he sees, and a woman in a monogomous relationship who dresses up and gets attention from every man who sees her. Not one damn thing.
Of course, monogamy isn’t even on the table these days. Any woman who claims to be monogomous but still dresses to impress, does so for the sexual satisfaction.
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@neverdidlikeyou
I went over to your blog and read, “ethical sluts.” The story goes on like every other womens blog. You dumped monogmous highschool boyfriend and are proudly riding the cock carosel. You state this quite clearly and go on to state how you have no intentions of being monogomous. I see where the slut part comes from but the ethical part eludes me.
As I’ve tried to explain to the gang, you simply can never form a long term relationship. For every man a woman sleeps with her ability to form a lasting relationship drops by like 7%. It’s the “n” word, nature.
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@Captain Bathrobe
“Just to second Holly, you can also take your trans-phobia and fuck right off, because we’re not about that here, either.”
Does any dissenting opinion always bring out the intolerant bigot in you? Oh that’s right, you have an ideology.
—————-
Out of the women in the picture, (I realize they’re the same). I like #3, it’s so darned cute when girls pretend to think. As has been confirmed by the gang, you need to not listen to your brain to be a real woman. Of course she could only dress like that for me, otherwise she’d be giving away her sexuality to any man within eyeshot. Can you imagine a woman actually being loyal enough to save her goodies for just one man? I can’t.
Kyrie, I was referring to her blog content, not to her comment here specifically.
Aw, come on, NWO! Give us a pretty smile!
Is it wrong if I think the first woman is more attractive in that picture? I’m a straight chick so I guess I don’t get to say much about it in the first place, but I like a bit of ruffly hair and baggy, comfortable clothing on my dudes and I think it’s pretty nice on the ladies.
Yeah, Woman #1 would be cute if she weren’t a smoker.
I’m pretty shocked that it took two pages for NWO to show up on a thread about How Women Should Dress.
Actually, Owly, by “brain” Ozy was at that time referring metaphorically to insecurity and the tendency to self-criticize. I see that you, however, have managed not to listen to your brain at all on a much more literal level.
Let’s play (since he never will) a rousing game of What NWO Wants To Happen!
NWO wants people with low self-esteem to believe that they really are alone because they’re ugly.
NWO wants women in monogamous relationships to dress like [DATA MISSING].
NWO wants neverdidlikeyou to still be dating her highschool boyfriend. Because once you date a man, that’s for life, you slut!
NWO wants math to work somewhat differently than it actually does.
NWO wants to defend a radical feminist who says “most men are vile,” because he’d rather do that then agree with anyone here.
NWO wants to be a hilarious parody of himself.
@Shaenon
As Ozy suggested from your comment, you’ve got to stop listening to your brain. Or have you already?
For Christ’s sake, NWO, quotation out of context much? I was specifically talking in the context of being mentally ill, in which case, YES, your brain is lying to you.
I’m glad to know that my baggy shirts and ripped jeans prove that I am the true non-slut, no matter how many boys and girls I fuck.
Interesting thing about the pic: notice how more tilted she gets as she gets more femme. Is butch inherently connected to good posture?
Captain Bathrobe, Holly: I read her blog, I see what you mean.
“What’s the difference between a man in a monogomous relationship who talks up every woman he sees, and a woman in a monogomous relationship who dresses up and gets attention from every man who sees her. Not one damn thing. ”
Is it a trick question? The main difference is that one is active and the other passive. If you want a correct comparison, it should have been “women is seen/man sees”
Anyway, if “dressing sexy when other people than husband can see you” and “noticing sexy people” (just noticing discretely, not even mentioning) is failing as monogamy, then you’re right, monogamy is probably dead.
The easiest way to cure a feminist is to just be alpha. Women can play at having careers, at having educations and at trying to be individuals, but they’re still women, and that territory comes with an irresistable, hard-wired desire to submit to the mighty phallus. Be a man, boss her around a bit, maybe indulge her rape fantasies some and watch how eager she is to cast aside those decades of feminist indoctrination. Remember, a woman’s satisfaction doesn’t come from pursuing her own goals, but from supporting a worthy male in achieving his own.
How’s that working out for you, Arks?
Arks, you need to do MRAL’s homework assignment too. Go to the mall for a bit and observe some Earth couples interacting in their Earth ways. You will learn so much about us humans.
@Holly Pervocracy
My! My! Such a vicious attack! It really doesn’t matter what I say, you have to attack. I mean after all, on one thread I stated that, knowlege, well spoken, mutiple language skills doesn’t equal, or translate into intelligence. Any intelligent person would of course agree. The gang attacked like pirana.
I know it’s hardly worth pointing out, but Arks seems to be explicitly advocating rape.
Holly, I wouldn’t call that radical feminism as much as dumb feminism.
Is alphalady the same person as Boadie the half lesbian? If so, feel free to explain the joke that nobody understood.
As Ozy suggested from your comment, you’ve got to stop listening to your brain. Or have you already?
I think you should stop listening to your brain when it tells you things that are objectively untrue. Sometimes your thoughts and feelings do not reflect the reality outside your head.
In your case, for example, you need to ignore your brain when it tells you that underage girls are begging you for sex by wearing skirts in your presence. That is not a thing that is happening.
Shaenon, I would not be and am not mean to women, despite the fact that they have been mean to me, because I am a nice person. So I would not be anything like an AA.
I have to ask, is this one those “It doesn’t count if I don’t say it to her face.” kind of things? Because that’s not being nice, that’s just showing a modicum of politeness. An actually nice person doesn’t constantly seethe with repressed misogynistic rage.
And, as has already been pointed out, you are exceedingly rude to women here all the time. And don’t give me that “It’s not real life.” shit either. This is not a single-player video game you’re playing right now, you’re talking to actual people.
Also Owly thinks that women literally get off on attention from men.
Word of the day for Owlyslave: Clitoris. Look it up.
You can pronounce it with an emphasis on the “clit” as in “literature” or “oris” as in “Boris.”
Kyrie – It’s a particular kind of dumbness that occurs within radical feminism, but not all radical feminists are that kind of dumb. So yeah. Maybe “the 1% of feminists that MRAs think we all are” feminist?
As far as I know alphalady is a different person and is just saying the page image must be a joke.
Arks, does your parole officer know you’ve got internet access again?
This is why I love Owly. No self-awareness or sense of irony at all.
@ozymandias42
So now MRAL in mentally ill? Is that professional opinion as a sex therapist?
Well let me know if you ever form a lifelong relationship. Won’t you?
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@Kyrie
Except men and women are different. That’s where your little fallacy falls apart.
Thats whats got captbathrobes panties in a bunch. Some blog where trannys still have the brain, (sexual drives/desires) of men. Nature again. Since scientific fatc runs counter to ideology, he’s all in a tizzy.
Sorry, NWO, I was just trying to guess what you wanted to happen. Was I wrong? What should happen? How would you solve The Problem Of Women Wearing Certain Unspecified Clothes?
Arks: But what if my girlfriend wants someone to submit to her mighty phallus? o.o
Also, you can have rape fantasies and still be a feminist.
He did specify that women would be slaves in his ideal world, Holly.
Shaenon, but I have noticed that women usually become more stuck-up when they put on dresses or makeup or whatever, because their goal is to appeal to the ALPHA FUCKS. I have found them condescending toward their “non-targets”. I think that’s my interpretation, anyway.
Yes, and your interpretation is wrong. Your brain is telling you untrue things. Women in sexy clothes make you feel intimidated, so you think they’re deliberately intimidating you. But unless you have telepathic powers, you have no way of knowing what random women are thinking when they walk around wearing dresses and makeup.
And I know you don’t have telepathic powers, because, as Meller explained in the previous thread, feminism has prevented science from inventing ESP.
“The easiest way to cure a feminist is to just be alpha.”
Are you alpha, Arks? Why are we still feminists then? (or do we need to meet you IRL?)
“Women can play at having careers, at having educations and at trying to be individuals, but they’re still women”
“play” LOL.
“trying to be individuals” Dude, have you met a woman? Like, ever?
“and that territory comes with an irresistable, hard-wired desire to submit to the mighty phallus.”
So far, I resist. I mean, I have sex with a phallus-bearer, but I don’t think I submitted. And lesbians are superheroes!
“maybe indulge her rape fantasies”
You know you need her (preferably enthusiast) consent so that it’s not real rape?
“some and watch how eager she is to cast aside those decades of feminist indoctrination.”
Is that a bet? 0_o Do you know how many became feminists because they were “bossed around”? (abused)
“Remember, a woman’s satisfaction doesn’t come from pursuing her own goals, but from supporting a worthy male in achieving his own.””
LOL.
Please, say that it’s all a joke, a poe, and you’re actually a decent human being!!
Ack, I must have used the transperson derivative in a negative fashion. so I’ll repost my previous comment here. Please excuse my political incorrectness, Dave. And delete my previous comment so as not to offend the delicateness of the residing snowflakes.
@ozymandias42
So now MRAL in mentally ill? Is that professional opinion as a sex therapist?
Well let me know if you ever form a lifelong relationship. Won’t you?
————-
@Kyrie
Except men and women are different. That’s where your little fallacy falls apart.
Thats whats got captbathrobes panties in a bunch. Some blog where male transperson still have the brain, (sexual drives/desires) of men. Nature again. Since scientific fatc runs counter to ideology, he’s all in a tizzy.
For Christ’s sake, NWO, quotation out of context much?
As a rule, yes.
Hey Arks! Cool story bro!
You don’t know how words work, do you?
That comma before “Knowledge” shouldn’t be there, first of all.
Also, “well spoken” is a qualifier. It’s not a thing, it’s a description of a thing. “That person is well spoken” makes sense, while, “I don’t think well-spoken equals intelligence” doesn’t. That’s the way you used it. Do you understand that it doesn’t make sense? I would have substituted it with “eloquence”, but there are many words that could have worked.
This isn’t about knowledge. You lack basic coherence.
@Shaenon
“Your brain is telling you untrue things.”
Ack! Freethinker! Alert!
Well shit, not yet.
NWO, do let us know if you ever form any relationship at all.
@Spearhafoc
Oh no! The grammar cops! Better high-tail it outta here!
NWO, if someone’s brain is telling them that the CIA had put a chip under their skin (and, let’s be clear here, there is no chip), then their brain is telling them something that’s not true.
Likewise, if someone’s brain is telling them that all women look down on them and are constantly judging their appearance against Brad Pitt, then their brain is telling them something that’s not true.
@NWO,
So telling someone to fuck off makes me an intolerant bigot? Well, consider yourself an object of my “bigotry” then. Cheers.
Is NWO suggesting that forming a lifelong relationship is the barometer of success? That’s hilarious.
You know, NWO, there are adult literacy classes. I used to teach one and it was quite fun. You might even meet some new friends.
@Holly Pervocracy
“How would you solve The Problem Of Women Wearing Certain Unspecified Clothes?”
I’ve decided to encourage all women to be as slutty as possible. Let’s just up and get it over with.
But what if it turned out the teacher wasn’t good? Owly values loyalty: if he chose a teacher then he simply couldn’t just up and leave for a better one! And don’t even get me started on what the man has to do for friends. It’s like being human flypaper.
NWO, everyone knows by now that you getting sarcastic is basically the equivalent of you sticking your thumb in your mouth and yelling “I DON’T KNOW DON’T ASK ME HARD QUESTIONS WAAAAHHHHH.”
I don’t know why you come here every evening to show everyone that you’re both too stupid to answer simple questions and too cowardly to admit it, but it’s a great show. Keep it up, buddy.
@Sniper
“You know, NWO, there are adult literacy classes. I used to teach one and it was quite fun. You might even meet some new friends.”
I feel I’m quite literate. And feelings beat fact every time. Are you suggesting I’m friendless? Do you have a way of knowin stuff?
oh hell, some random asshole found me out! I will now reneg all my slutty slutty ways and find a self-professed nice dude so I can ride his cock for the rest of my nonfeminist life.
I’m suggesting that your writing lacks coherency. I’m stating that adult education can be fun.
Also, if you’re going to drop the g, you need an apostrophe.
@Holly Pervocracy
Far be it from me to tell women how to act. I’m a man, we need women to tell us how to act. Ya do it all the time. Pick up any newspaper from just today. I’ll bet there are opinion pieces a-plenty with women just pouring it on. Heck, this blog is all about women telling men how to act. It’s socially acceptable!
Sadly, I didn’t start dating until I was 15, so no life-long relationships for me. I’ll never be NWO’s ideal woman ;_;
Owly, love, I can’t know if I’ve been in a lifelong relationship until one of us dies. I’d rather not any of my partners (or, God forbid, myself) die.
And that MRAL has probably got some crazy is my professional opinion as a crazy person. However, he should seek therapy and not rely on the Internet’s diagnoses.
I wonder if NWO realizes that David is a guy.