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Katherine Heigl: Ballbusting bigot?

That's not funny?

Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls.  As in, testicles.

Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:

I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.

The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater.  And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.

Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?

The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.

Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.

The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.

And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:

And here are 50 more:

Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.

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Posted on December 5, 2011, in creepy, evil women, hypocrisy, I'm totally being sarcastic, kitties, MRA, oppressed men, paul elam, violence against men/women. Bookmark the permalink. 326 Comments.

  1. @NWO

    and what do many MRAs and other male chauvinists demand from women?

    Shut the fuck up about rape
    Shut the fuck up about street harassment
    Don’t dress like a slut or you deserve to get harassed
    But do dress feminine and not like a dyke
    Look pretty
    Look young
    Don’t get fat
    Women’s sexuality needs to be controlled by men, or they’ll choose to sleep with someone other than us (alphas)
    Stay at home and fulfill your natural role as mother and sammich maker
    But don’t you dare try to get custody for the children if we divorce
    Shut the fuck about discrimination, men work harder jobs and die more
    Women should work more dangerous and life threatening jobs
    A woman firefighter/cop/soldier?! women are weak! she’s only there because of quotas, I wouldn’t trust a woman with my life or on the battlefield!
    An assertive woman? what a bitch!
    Women working? she took that job from a well deserving man!
    Single mothers? dumb sluts.
    Women do something men don’t like? lets talk about taking their right to vote away!
    Women are at fault for their low pay, they choose to have children
    A woman choosing not to have children?! what a selfish career bitch denying her nature!

    I have read all of these, or similar statements on MRA/PUA sites and on many other sites too.

  2. I sign and sign and sign petitions. I donate money to various funds. I do all kinds of stuff.

    Would these petitions all be Internet petitions, signed with the name “NWOslave”? Are you aware that doesn’t actually do anything? I’ll honestly be impressed if you sign paper petitions with your real name (especially if you do it in all caps so it’s valid), but I’m kinda doubting that.

    Which funds?

    I come here and mock the mockers as well.

    So yes, you really do think trolling qualifies as activism. You do realize that for us, this is pure entertainment, right? I come here to vent and to pal around with the other manboobzers. It’s not activism.

    No one deserves alimony. If I quit work I’m breaking a contract with the company I work for. I’d be hard pressed to sue them for a lifetime of money under the premise that I coulda been somebody had I not had to work. It’d be a hell of a lot easier for a woman staying at home to get an online degree than a guy like me who works around the country 10 to 12 hours a day on average. I did just do a 39 day in a row stint, and I’m back in SLC right now to finish up.

    Funny how much you were posting during that stint.

    Also, not every divorce is a woman betraying a loyal man. Sometimes the man initiates the divorce. Sometimes he becomes abusive. Sometimes he just up and disappears. That seems a lot more like “being laid off” than “quitting” to me.

    MRAs seem to have this idea that divorces always go one way:
    -Wife is a stay-at-home mom. Husband is wealthy, loving and loyal.
    -Wife decides for Mystery Woman Reasons to divorce husband for no reason.
    -Wife is awarded all the husband’s money.
    -Wife is awarded a giant alimony and child support, which she actually receives.
    -Wife is awarded full child custody.
    -Wife and children obtain restraining orders against husband.

    I don’t think guys like NWO have any conception that divorce courts actually don’t work like that most of the time.

  3. I sign and sign and sign petitions.

    Have you ever started a petition? Why don’t you create your own blog? Not only would you be able to talk/write about whatever you want (as opposed to your endless derails here) but you could consolidate information on all of these various petitions and bring greater awareness to the causes. That would be real work.

    I donate money to various funds.

    I’m sorry: aren’t you always pleading poverty? In fact, didn’t you once say that the reason you had not started a nonprofit to do something that might actually</i? help men is because the only people who would want to donate would be men like yourself who simply didn't have the money? I'm curious, NWO, to what "funds" do you donate?

    I do all kinds of stuff.

    Of course you do.

  4. MRAL, dude, you really need to stop holding random people responsible for the things you feel insecure about. Tall women are not being tall at you just to spite you.

    (This is coming from a woman who’s 5ft2, btw.)

  5. Same old Poly-Holly nonsense and denial of facts. Ahh well, since a woman of strength would be able to break the cycle of indoctrination and feminists are followers I really didn’t expect anything but conformity.

    On that note, since I’m tired from working my mentally and physically challenging dangerous job, I’ll leave you with a little regendered feminist satire.

    “I’ve always wanted to cut out every womans vagina, but I guess I’ll have to settle for neutering cats instead!”

  6. I don’t think NWO knows how spaying works.

    …Much less satire.

  7. Are there any celebrity men that make fun of women getting beaten or raped? Of course not. It would be a career killer. We need to make violence against men unacceptable. I don’t trust anyone that cares more about animals than men.

  8. On that note, since I’m tired from working my mentally and physically challenging dangerous job, I’ll leave you with a little regendered feminist satire.

    “I’ve always wanted to cut out every womans vagina, but I guess I’ll have to settle for neutering cats instead!”

    Shouldn’t that be spaying?

  9. See, NWO, the difference there is that we have every reason to believe that you really do want to cut out every woman’s vagina.

  10. It should be spaying and the analogous organs would be ovaries.

  11. Also, NWO is the guy who is pissed that raping 14 year olds is illegal.

  12. Bodie’s position on trans people (“men dressing up in high heels”) it’s remarkably close to that of NWO Slave’s. Oddly enough, my position on her closely matches that of Mags. Strange bedfellows and all that.

  13. Anatomy is an evil feminist conspiracy. Everyone knows that “vagina” is the only female reproductive organ.
    /sarcasm

  14. Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant

    I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4

  15. “I don’t think guys like NWO have any conception that divorce courts actually don’t work like that most of the time.”

    NWO doesn’t have any conception of how anything in the the world works, except milk machines.

  16. It is worth noting that two of the things on NWO’s list of things he thinks that all feminists (including socialist feminists) agree on involve wage labor. Tell me, NWO do you know what socialism is and what the vast majority of socialists think of a wage labor system?

  17. Ok, I typed without thinking. Heigl is just a stupid bitch. I have a real problem with women over 5’8, honestly.

    Okay, you have a problem. So deal with your problem; don’t blame it on other people. Honestly, you’re not the center of the damn universe. I did not grow to the height of 5’10” to upset you. I did it to upset my mother.

    I’ve notcied tall bitches love to wear heels so they can spit from greater distances.

    Not a real thing. Happens only in your brain.

    Please don’t let your brain continue to tell you rotten things that aren’t true and make you sad.

  18. Is this supposed spitting symbolic or actual? Because I don’t think I can actually recall ever seeing a woman literally spit on a man other than as part of a BSDM roleplay.

  19. I just watched some of these videos. I don’t have balls but even I felt their pain. Why would they do that to themselves??!?

  20. Jill the Spinster

    Nwo, do you know how spaying works in female animals? They remove the ovaries and the uterus. (fyi, just in case you really are that stupid)

  21. I know NWO wants me to post his book again, but, in the spirit of the holiday season and all, I feel like we need something constructive, not destructive. With that in mind, the Book of Learnin’ has been temporarily replaced by the more sensible and helpful:

    The Talking Heads Guide to Life
    From the liner notes to Stop Making Sense

    LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE: Violence on television only affects children whose parents act like television personalities. Table manners are for people who have nothing better to do. Civilization is a religion. Civilized people walk funny. There is always a party going on somewhere. People will remember you better if you always wear the same outfit.

    LIFE ON EARTH: Men like pastries, women like custards. Scientists have invented a love drug, but it only works on bugs. Animals like earthquakes, tornadoes and volcanic activity. Nuclear weapons can wipe out life on Earth, but only if used properly. Cats like houses better than people. Dolphins find people amusing, but they don’t want to talk to them. People look ridiculous when they’re in ecstasy. Schools are for training people how to listen to other people. Body odor is the window to the soul. Sound is worth money.

    THE SPACE PEOPLE: Space People read out mail. The Space People think that TV news programs are comedies, and that soap operas are news. The Space People will contact us when they can make money by doing so. The Space People think factories are musical instruments. They sing along with them. Each song lasts from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. No music on weekends.

    WORLD TRAVEL: Passport pictures are what people really look like. Rich people will travel great distances to look at poor people. Toast is the national dish of Australia. People never travel to look at flat landscapes. People would rather watch things than eat. Looking at postcards is better than looking at the real thing. Looking up is as scary as looking down.

    IN THE FUTURE: In the future, women will have breasts all over. In the future, it will be a relief to find a place without culture. In the future, plates of food will have names and titles. In the future, we will all drive standing up. In the future, love will be taught on television and by listening to pop songs.

    WORK: Crime is a job. Sex is a job. Growing up is a job. School is a job. Going to parties is a job. Religion is a job. Being creative is a job.

  22. Dolphins find people amusing, but they don’t want to talk to them.

    They are polite enough to thank us for all the fish, though.

  23. Thank you Quacker for saying what needed to be said about far too many men. And being a man some are going to accuse me of ulterior motives for attacking the misogynists as if I’m trying to gain the favor of women for some other reason than for standing with them to change the sexism, and misogyny that is the norm of today. @NWO is the ultimate a**hole and representative of what Quacker has listed for him and his ilk as being what they desire from women. I refuse to join the groups of men who are blinded by their masochism and celebrate their stupidity, misogynism, and sexism. I am grateful for Amanda Marcotte who tweeted the link to this site. As I read on windupmyskirt a definition of a feminist, turns out I am one, I’m also a member of NOW, as I made a donation recently. Just sayin’.
    I love Katherine Heigl for her caring for the animals. I don’t see how anyone cannot see the humor in her video presentation in which she depricates herself in the name of a greater goal. I didn’t think it possible, but Heigl has risen even higher in my book. I first saw her in a show called Roswell, and fell in love, she is a great talent. I am not really much of a celebrity hound.
    As Amanda tweeted, “Is anyone more humorless than anti-feminists? It’s really hard to imagine that it’s possible.” I absolutely agree with her.

  24. NWOslave, back on November 28th you made the assertion that, “Womens sexuality is her body. Mens sexuality are their actions. Men are atrracted to a womans body. Women are attracted to a mans actions/talent/wealth/power [sic].” I understand things often move fast around here, but would you please take a little time to let me know how you came to those conclusions?

  25. NWOslave, back on November 28th you made the assertion that, “Womens sexuality is her body. Mens sexuality are their actions. Men are atrracted to a womans body. Women are attracted to a mans actions/talent/wealth/power [sic].” I understand things often move fast around here, but would you please take a little time to let me know how you came to those conclusions?

    Oh, I know! Is it because he has trouble conceiving of other people, especially women, as beings with thoughts that are separate from his? He finds women’s bodies sexually attractive, therefore women must find their own bodies sexually attractive. And he’s not attracted to men’s bodies, so obviously no one is.

    MRAL, do you recognize that, when you try to imagine what’s going on in the minds of tall women as they walk around shamelessly being tall, you’re falling for the same cognitive distortion as NWO?

  26. Oh, I know! Is it because he has trouble conceiving of other people, especially women, as beings with thoughts that are separate from his? He finds women’s bodies sexually attractive, therefore women must find their own bodies sexually attractive. And he’s not attracted to men’s bodies, so obviously no one is.

    shaenon explains how owlslave thinks, wins ‘staring into the void’ trophy.

  27. confession: when i was mral’s age i was exactly like him, and finally i decided to change that, and it took extreme effort where i was like ‘this is not an okay way to think about women, gonna have to retrain myself’. and i’m extremely happy i did, and (unrelated) i’ve also had way more success with women since i did that. which makes me want to believe that mral can evolve, he just has to want to first.

  28. I think a lot of young men who for whatever reason have a hard time connecting with women go through that stage, which is part of why people here are kinder to MRAL than the rest of the trolls. We’ve all known boys like that, and most of them do grow out of it.

    One of the most harmful things about the MRM in the “patriarchy hurts men too” sense is that it actively discourages them from ever growing beyond that stage, thus setting them up for a lifetime of unhappiness.

    That doesn’t have to happen to you, MRAL. You’re still young enough to change.

  29. We do. We fight for equal custody. An end to debtor prison. Fairness in court. […] women initiate the majority of DV.</blockquote
    Yeah, but no. That's just a list of fights, some that are worthy btw. That's not actual work.

    We fight against all of these things and so much more. And all of it is rooted in feminism. Since feminism is so thoroughly indoctrinated into society all women are feminist to a degree.

    I was answering to Ullere who was saying feminists should respect MRAs. Not gonna happen as long as you try to depict us as the source of all evil.

    I sign and sign and sign petitions. I donate money to various funds. I do all kinds of stuff.

    Signing petitions is hardly hard-core activism, especially internet petitions. Which funds? What kind of stuff?
    And that’s not what I asked, I asked a MRM group that would actually works for men’s rights and not despise women.
    Does not count: fathers’ right (or other) groups that do not self define as MRA, Register-Her, threatening to go silently in the streets with matching t-shirts, offering bounty to harass college girls that did a violent video.

    I come here and mock the mockers as well.

    Lol.

  30. html fail, sorry.

    We do. We fight for equal custody. An end to debtor prison. Fairness in court. […] women initiate the majority of DV.

    Yeah, but no. That’s just a list of fights, some that are worthy btw. That’s not actual work.

    We fight against all of these things and so much more. And all of it is rooted in feminism. Since feminism is so thoroughly indoctrinated into society all women are feminist to a degree.

    I was answering to Ullere who was saying feminists should respect MRAs. Not gonna happen as long as you try to depict us as the source of all evil.

    I sign and sign and sign petitions. I donate money to various funds. I do all kinds of stuff.

    Signing petitions is hardly hard-core activism, especially internet petitions. Which funds? What kind of stuff?
    And that’s not what I asked, I asked a MRM group that would actually works for men’s rights and not despise women.
    Does not count: fathers’ right (or other) groups that do not self define as MRA, Register-Her, threatening to go silently in the streets with matching t-shirts, offering bounty to harass college girls that did a violent video. (If you need explanation for any of that, I can offer it, but I really hope not)

    I come here and mock the mockers as well.

    Lol.

  31. “Only FAAB women (female assigned at birth) are allowed to comment on this blog. Why? Because it’s FAABulous!”

    What the hell, Boadie?

  32. “Men’s Rights Activist Lieutenant | December 5, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Katherine Heigl is nothing but a snivelling mangina.”

    Dude, WTF are you talking about???

    Register-her/AVfM are basically, even amongst MRAs, becoming an increasing Taleban like laughing stock. They’re quite obviously ‘registering’ famous women to precipitate a lawsuit and get some publicity for their miserable little site.

    I’m on it just now having a look. It’s like watching a mental breakdown taking place.

  33. None of these guys read “A Modest Proposal” in high school, obviously.

  34. “Dude, WTF are you talking about???”
    It was just a mistake, now he’s back on the usual:

    I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4

    MRAL, size has nothing to do with dominance. And if it did, why would women be bitches for being dominant? Why does it hurt you that there are women taller than you? You really need to take a deep breath an d think about why you’re getting mad at the idea that tall women wear heels.

  35. Dwight: “Inverted penis.”
    Meredith: “Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.”
    Dwight: “I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy.”
    Meredith: “A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.”

    I think it’s quite official. NWO is Dwight from The Office.

  36. Women wear heels because the heeled female foot is highly sexualized in our culture and people of both genders feel enormous pressure to conform to the cultural standards of their gender in order to fit in. It’s really no more mysterious than that. MRAL’s problem is that he takes his anger towards this cultural pressure (men do feel pressure to be tall), and projects an irrational rage out to the entire female gender. You have serious anger issues and need a therapist.

    5’8″ here, but I always wear comfortable flats, because fuck our cultural standards.

  37. ” I’ve notcied tall bitches love to wear heels so they can spit from greater distances.”

    Is that what they’re for??? Fuck me! I just thought they made my calves look shapely and made me look daintier in a dress. I thought you guys liked dainty ladies? I’ll remember to spit next time, just like Ms. Heigl does! =D

  38. Heels are not “dominant.” I actually find them extremely submissive because they hobble your walking in order to present your legs in a more sexualized shape.

    I’m a bit biased here because I can’t walk in heels at all and hate them deeply. But hey, as I’m a 5’1″ person who doesn’t wear heels, MRAL ought to love me, because I am extremely humble and gracious in letting even average-size men tower above me!

  39. @Raymond

    I just hate hypocrisy is all. Most of those demands are usually found on MRA or PUA sites, then those same men complain about women who unfairly demand things from THEM. It’s complete bullshit. I’m not saying there aren’t women who don’t demand unreasonable things from men, there are and I think that’s wrong too. But it gets annoying when MRAs and chauvinists blame women for everything, as well as for things they themselves do.

    Anyway, thanks for standing up against misogyny and sexism in general. I used to watch Roswell too :)

  40. Okay…is MRAL really being serious or just satirizing himself now? how was he so decent a week or two ago but now is back to his old douchey self?

    Anwyay, I’m relatively tall therefore don’t wear heels often. They’re also not to most comfortable of shoes. The last guy I dated I told him I wouldn’t wear heels if it made him feel uncomfortable (I know! what a man-hating feminazi I am!), but he didn’t care. Anyway, if MRAL is being genuine, maybe I’ll just start wearing them more to piss him off XP

    Seriously though MRAL, Women aren’t wearing heels to be dominant and spit at you. Also some heels just look nice.

  41. and what do many MRAs and other male chauvinists demand from women?

    Shut the fuck up about rape
    Shut the fuck up about street harassment
    Don’t dress like a slut or you deserve to get harassed
    But do dress feminine and not like a dyke
    Look pretty
    Look young
    Don’t get fat
    Women’s sexuality needs to be controlled by men, or they’ll choose to sleep with someone other than us (alphas)
    Stay at home and fulfill your natural role as mother and sammich maker
    But don’t you dare try to get custody for the children if we divorce
    Shut the fuck about discrimination, men work harder jobs and die more
    Women should work more dangerous and life threatening jobs
    A woman firefighter/cop/soldier?! women are weak! she’s only there because of quotas, I wouldn’t trust a woman with my life or on the battlefield!
    An assertive woman? what a bitch!
    Women working? she took that job from a well deserving man!
    Single mothers? dumb sluts.
    Women do something men don’t like? lets talk about taking their right to vote away!
    Women are at fault for their low pay, they choose to have children
    A woman choosing not to have children?! what a selfish career bitch denying her nature!

    I have read all of these, or similar statements on MRA/PUA sites and on many other sites too.

    Quoted for truth.

    Also, you forgot “Don’t wear high heels if you’re over 5’4. That means you’re an arrogant BITCH who likes spitting on short men like some sort of deranged llama”.

    I’m 5’8 and I sometimes wear heels, and I have female friends who are tall (5’9-6’0). I’ve noticed that quite a few men tend to be drawn to taller women. How can this be? Presumably they’re all manginas with a spit fetish.

  42. comrade svilova

    My coworker is 5’5” and happily engaged to.a woman who is several inches taller than he is. He’s hardly an Alpha either. Works in a female dominated field and is very quiet and sweet. They are a lovely couple!

  43. Already feeling self-conscious towering over my 5’5″ girlfriend at 5’9″ (as well as all her friends), if I were to wear heels I’d be pushing 6′ or more, which is why I don’t. (And I wore flats even when dating a 6′ 3″ guy, rather than trying to close the gap.) Tall women lording it over men to spit on them? LOL. Get real.

  44. Xanthe: I have a friend who’s 6’1 without shoes, and I actually think it looks awesome when she wears heels (which is rare). She doesn’t spit on people, though. She’s rather sweet and shy (her boyfriend, equally sweet and shy, is slightly shorter than her).

  45. MRAs will bitch and complain, of course. I just hope they remember to spay/neuter their pets. Leave it to them to, you know, miss the point of the PSA.

    Soapbox moment: visit your local shelters to adopt your next best friend! Shelter animals need a second chance.

    I wear high heels every so often. I generally don’t wear them, because of how difficult it can be to walk. If I’m wearing heels, I prefer the little 2-inch kitten heels. But dominance? Really? When I wear heels, it is because I want to and I think I look good. Selfish as it is (sarcasm), I like looking good. Wanting/needing to dominate other people requires actually giving a damn about the majority of strangers out there.

    That’s what confuses me so much about MRAs: why should I spend extra time and effort to give a flying fig about millions of strangers, particularly when I’ve got my own things going on? There’s a strange narcissism involved in this whole “women want to oppress/annoy/terrorize me.” It means that all the women of the world are so interested in a single, angry individual such that they go out of their way to make his life terrible.

    Uncomfortable truth: the world doesn’t give a damn about you. Or me. The world is a huge place with billions of other people. If I (or any other individual) suddenly disappears/dies, only a relatively tiny circle of people will notice or care. The rest of the world will go on as it always has.

    Now, I’m not as much of a cynic or misanthrope as this makes me sound. It’s just a pragmatic acknowledgement of reality. I mean something to family and friends. To actually convince myself that the world has something personal against me is just a sign of self-aggrandizement.

    So, NO. I don’t wear heels to dominate those around me. I don’t have the time to personally insult millions of unknown men out there.

  46. Johnny Heartbeat

    That’s an either/or, not a paradox.

    People who treat it as a paradox are usually reacting to their own particular relationship and blaming it on feminism. I’m one of those people. “Do more domestic work. Work harder outside the home” is something I hear (with “reasonable” delays between the two) from my wife all the time, but I manage to not blame her personality flaws on her 2nd X chromosome.

  47. I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4

    I share a lot of people’s sympathy for your posts, as you do occasionally show glimmers of empathy and humanity and indeed self-awareness – but then you come out with ludicrous crap like this. Why?

    I know plenty of tall women who aren’t the least bit arrogant. Indeed, in quite a few cases I’d suggest that they’re not arrogant at least partly because they’re self-conscious about being tall.

    And as someone who’s 6’3″ myself, I can completely identify with that – I know that you think that the taller you are, the more ‘alpha’ you are, but there are times when you really don’t want to appear to be the physically dominant person in a room, but your height leaves you with little choice. And this is especially true if you shot up early, as I did – being six foot plus at twelve is no picnic.

  48. Wetherby:

    being six foot plus at twelve is no picnic.

    I can’t relate directly, but my best friend, now 6’7″, was well on his way to that height when we were twelve. He was taller than most of the teachers. It was quite a struggle for him, and still is in some ways today. I feel for you both :).

    By grade 12 he’d reached his current height, and he was dating a girl who was 5’1″ at the absolute outside. She wore monster heels throughout their relationship in order to try to bridge the gap.

    Hey MRAL, can I throw some heels beneath my 5’7″ of height when I’m hanging with my besty? I would need stilts to spit on the man.

  49. That was supposed to be a supportive smiley face, but it came out as mocking smiley face. Not what I meant at all!

  50. Kendra, the bionic mommy

    Wow, I can’t believe they’ve “registered” Katherine Heigl. I would say that R-H.com has lost all credibility, but that would imply that they ever had any credibility in the first place. Now I’ll wait for them to watch the ending credits of all the Jackass movies and register all the female cast and crew members as anti-testicle bigots. What about everyone involved with “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and “It only hurts when I Laugh”?

    I also want to know why they are trying so hard to link nut shot jokes with feminism. I wasn’t aware that many feminists were big fans of Johnny Knoxville’s antics and similar sophomoric humor. I thought teenagers were the target demographic for that kind of stuff.

  51. I just told my friend that I was sharing his story here and he told me he thinks he might have concussed himself by sprinting full-speed into a door frame the other day. It’s not easy bejng green.

    There’s something you and I don’t have to worry about, huh MRAL?

  52. Yes, MRAL, I TOTALLY grew to six feet tall for the SOLE PURPOSE of pissing you off. I don’t wear heels, though, the fuckleg won’t allow it.

    Does it really never occur to you that height (natural height) isn’t really something that can be manipulated? I can’t change the fact that I’m tall any more than I can change the fact that I’m built like a linebacker. Or that my nephew lost all the lovely red hair he had at birth. Or that I lost all the red hair I had at birth.

  53. Two of my (female) friends are around 6’0″ (one single, one married to a slightly shorter guy). Neither has ever spit on a dude, at least not to my knowledge, and neither wears heels often, because they’re bloody uncomfortable. (Same reason i almost never wear them. What’s the point of being uncomfortable and still well below average height?)

    Anyway, MRAL, look on the bright side – you don’t have to use a stepladder in your own kitchen like I do. They don’t make kitchen cabinets with the 5’1″-ish in mind.

  54. I’m 5’7″ and I wear floaty dresses with combat boots. Clearly I am more feminine than those heel-wearing ballbreakers!

  55. These are the reasons I can’t be an MRA. I value humor much more than gender politics. I will laugh at pretty much anything I think is funny. So a bunch of dudes getting kicked in the nuts is just as funny as george carlin making an eskimo rapist joke.

    Also, Heigl on register-her.com?! Really? Stupidity at its finest.

  56. MRAL, size has nothing to do with dominance.

    Short dominant women:
    Margaret Thatcher
    Golda Meir
    Elizabeth I of England
    Hillary Clinton
    Eva Peron

    Short dominant men:
    Ghandi
    David Ben-Gurion
    Martin Luther King Jr.
    James Madison
    Joseph Stalin

    So no, height has nothing to do with it.

  57. MRAL, how do you feel about guys who wear high heels? A friend of mine is six feet tall and likes to wear heels when he goes out in drag. Is he spitting on men?

    I almost never wear the things because they hurt like hell and I fall over. Also, they’re really bad for your feet. I’ve already seen two older relatives go through painful foot surgery to correct the damage of a lifetime wearing heels–not sexy stilettos, just the heeled business shoes women are supposed to wear to look “professional.”

  58. Are there any celebrity men that make fun of women getting beaten or raped? Of course not. It would be a career killer. We need to make violence against men unacceptable. I don’t trust anyone that cares more about animals than men.

    Oh good lord no. No famous men in the media have ever made fun of women being beaten or raped without ending their career over it entirely. That’s why Family Guy went off the air and Seth McFarlane was never heard from again. And why Bill Maher was shunned and driven out of town, his house burned to the ground. And Tosh.0 was cancelled immediately. And, like, those are just the most frequent offenders. I could go on nearly forever.

    I’ll agree that violence against men should be unacceptable. Violence against anyone should be unacceptable.

  59. shaenon explains how owlslave thinks, wins ‘staring into the void’ trophy.

    At times like this I like to quote Werner Herzog’s narration in the documentary Grizzly Man: “I looked into ze bear’s eyes und saw not’ing but boredom…und a vague desire for fooood.”

    You have to say it in the most disaffected Teutonic accent you can muster.

  60. shaenon – I didn’t think you could get cooler, but you just did with the Herzog. Just lettin’ you know.

  61. I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4

    I think all men between 5’8″ and 5’9″ should be forced to wear bathrobes, whether at home or in public. Hey, Mr. Al, are all women over 5’4″ bitches in your opinion, or are you only saying that bitches over 5’4″ shouldn’t be allowed to wear heels, while nonbitch women over 5’4″ can wear heels? It’s really important that we know this so we don’t inadvertently spit on anyone with our clothing choices.

    So, a little personal tale, if I may. I’ve been 5’9″ since I was in fifth grade, and I’ve felt completely awkward about my height my entire life. When I wear heels (like, proper dress up high heels) its because I have to go to a fancy event or a business event at which flats would be inappropriate. It’s not because I want to be dominant (as if heels make a person dominant), and it’s not because I am arrogant. It’s because if I didn’t wear heels, my outfit would look weird. (Perhaps also at issue: I don’t own that many shoes, so I don’t have that many to choose from.)

    Most of my shoes are flat flat flats, particularly because my boyfriend, as I’ve mentioned to you before, Mr. Al, is shorter than me. He doesn’t mind if I’m wearing heels, but, you know, the awkward thing follows me from my childhood. It’s hard to find flat flat flats, though. Most fashionable women’s shoes have a bit of a heel.

    Hey, Mr. Al, just out of curiosity, the other day when you said that you thought Marky Mark’s post about the WTC was hilarious, what did you mean? I suspect that you thought it was hilarious for reasons other than those everyone else here did. This latest rant about arrogant bitches makes me think I’m probably right.

  62. Kendra, the bionic mommy

    I wonder how the RH people will react when they discover “The Three Stooges”, with all it’s misandric glorification of violence against men’s eyeballs. The trio like to say “Wise guy, eh?”, which is certainly a way for society to show it’s disapproval of intelligent men. I saw an episode of Bug’s Bunny where Bugs turned the tables on Elmer Fudd and put Fudd into a pot of water with carrots in it. Surely that was a feminist cartoon about cannibalism against hunters. Don’t even get me started on Saved by the Bell or Full House.

    /sarcasm

  63. Do you know that the dress codes of many office jobs REQUIRE women to wear heels? That’s right! REQUIRE! My god, it’s like requiring arrogance!

  64. High heels are a form of conscious genocide used by women to discount an even greater percentage of men. They are tuning devices for the hypergamy engine, creating an environment where not only does the male have to be taller than the female, he has to be taller than her when she wears heels as well.

    When a woman wears 4 inch heels, what she’s really doing is raising the criteria to qualify as a human being (in her eyes) by 4 inches. “You must be this tall to enter” her slobbering crotch maw says. Those who failed to be born in the top genetic percentile get to enjoy a life of frustration, desperation and loneliness, while those who got lucky get to enjoy limitless career opportunities, social respect, athletic success and free use of women. And then women have the gall to claim they’re the ones with ‘unfair expectations.’

    I think it’s telling that so many people think Napoleon was short, when he was actually the average height for his time. Why does it surprise people that 5’7 was considered average only a few centuries ago? Because the average height has been increasing rapidly over the past few hundred years. More rapidly than normal evolution can account for. The only way this could happen is if women had been ascribing to a calculated program of heightist eugenics over the generations. But that couldn’t be true, could it?

  65. Um, zhinxy, that’s why women should just stay home and do needlepoint and play the pianoforte for their husband’s gentleman guests, no doy,

    /meller

  66. So, when it was common for men to wear heels, what did that mean?

  67. @kendra

    i would call saved by the bell misanthropic before anything else.

    also, when i was little, for some reason i never understood we had a videotape of old, incredibly racist bugs bunny cartoons, including one where bugs ends up on a jungle island with a headhunting cannibal. im assuming my parents just never bothered to watch it, because its not the sort of thing they would be okay with, and its not in their house anymore, but looking back its incredibly weird that i watched that repeatedly as a child.

  68. High heels are a form of conscious genocide used by women to discount an even greater percentage of men. They are tuning devices for the hypergamy engine, creating an environment where not only does the male have to be taller than the female, he has to be taller than her when she wears heels as well.

    have we discussed whether arks is a poe?

  69. her slobbering crotch maw says

    That’s some pretty genius misogyny right there.

  70. also, Arks, you said CONSCIOUS genocide. That means you aren’t just doing that bizarre “women don’t know what they want, they are hypergamous but don’t know it, so don’t trust anything they say on the matter, I’m right and nyahnyah” You’re saying that when I wear heels, which is sometimes, depending on skirt length and occasion – I love ballet flats and topsiders, normally – I am CONSCIOUSLY telling men that their short genes are not good enough for me. And it doesn’t matter when I say that I’ve never minded too much about height, had plenty of crushes on guys shorter than me, and taller than me. None of this matters, and this time it isn’t just SELF delusion on my part? I am CONSCIOUSLY doing this?

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