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Showdown: #MenCallMeThings versus The Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics

The most common “critique” of the #mencallmethings hashtag  that blew up on Twitter last week was that the women posting examples of misogynistic shit they got called online were making a big deal out of nothing. As the always-charming Ferdinand Bardamu so memorably put it:

It’s funny, then, that when MRAs find themselves described with less-than-flattering language they have a strange tendency to act like they’ve suddenly been struck with a case of the vapors. Witness the reaction of MRAs when someone calls them the “c-word.” No, not “cunt” – “creep.” As one outraged Men’s Rights Redditor recently put it, in a comment with 30+ net upvotes:

Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.

When MRAs feel themselves being oppressed by such clearly man-hating language, they often refer to something called the Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics, which, well, catalogues their language grievances in detail. According to the author of the  Catalogue,

Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate.  They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions.  Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks.

Such shaming tactics, the author of the Catalogue says, with no evident awareness of the irony, are often used by “histrionic …  female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic” and the male “gynocentrists” who ally with them.

Here are some of the awful “shaming” remarks that get directed at MRAs, according to the Catalogue of Shaming Tactics:

 “Stop whining!”

 “Suck it up like a man!”

“You need to get over your anger at women.”

“You’re afraid of a strong woman!”

“You are so immature!”

“You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”

“Are you gay?”

 “That’s a sexist stereotype!”

 “You need therapy.”

“You make me feel afraid.”

 “Weirdo!”

 “Loser!”

“You are so materialistic.”

 “No woman will marry you with that attitude.”

“You are insensitive to the plight of women.”

Did someone just use the word "creep?"

Is that last one even an insult? It’s a fairly accurate description of a lot of MRAs, who take a certain pride in being “insensitive to the plight of women.”

So now that we’ve seen the horrible abuse that MRAs have to put up with on a daily basis, let’s take a quick look at some of the things that women and feminists regularly get from their detractors, as posted to the #mencallmethings hashtag and sent to Sady Doyle, who originated the hashtag. (These are all taken from a great post she did in the aftermath of #mencallmethings’ big blowup.) I think you will find the comparison instructive.  Let’s start with the more straightforward slurs. (TRIGGER WARNING for, well, just about everything in the quotes that follow.)

Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, ugly, dyke, lesbo, unfuckable, crazy, delusional, liar, hysterical, autistic bitch child, feminazi,  ballbuster, humorless, heartless whore, man hater, misandrist, stupid little girl, shrieky hysterical moron, airhead, spoiled little princess, stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt, stupid feminazi cunt, an ugly bitter little woman, cumm guzzling closet lesbian, a pseudo-intellectual Insane Oversensitive Humourless Female supremacist.

Now let’s move on to complete sentences:

 “You’re an ugly fucking cunt.”

“That sort of smirk is why God invented anal sex.”  

“you’re so ugly you look like you have downs syndrome, you’d be thankful to be raped.”

“hope you catch a sexually transmitted disease or vagina cancer, cuntwit.”

”Stick a dildo up your dry vagina.”

“the only time your mouth should be open is when i’m putting my d–k in it”

“Your just a gay cunt who deserves to be punished.”

“A firm backhand to her whore face would provide her with a much needed attitude adjustment.”  

“Fuck you bitch….ya need to get beat like ur pops use to do to u.”

“I hope you never have children, your daughters would be such sluts and end up murdered in a gutter by someone like me.”

 You’re “not worth the effort to murder.”  

“[The] only tragedy is that a bullet didn’t rip through ur brainstem after u were used 4 ur 1 & only purpose in this world.”

“what a long winded bitch. You certainly do need to be gagged.”

“You’re an annoying bitch with no friends.I’d love to run you over with my truck.”

“you stupid bitch, I should fuck the crazy right out of you.”

”i surely hope that one day you get raped.”

“[You] can’t be a female scientist, that phrase is an oxymoron,”

“it’s painfully obvious you’re a woman, get off the internet.”

“I will fuck your ass to death you filthy fucking whore. Your only worth on this planet is as a warm hole.”

“Do you need to file a hurt feelings report?”

As I noted before, despite my general unpopularity in the MRA world, I tend to get fewer of these things than, for example, most feminist bloggers with a similar degree of internet notoriety. But I get them. Here, for example, is the latest comment I’ve gotten from the guy who calls himself Nugganu, a sort of follow-up to a previous comment I quoted earlier in which he imagined me raped by ten black men:

He certainly does have a vivid imagination.

But, yeah, somehow it’s a little hard for me to feel a ton of sympathy for MRAs who so regularly work themselves into a lather over “shaming language” like “creep” and “loser” and “you are insensitive to the plight of women.”

 

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Posted on November 13, 2011, in antifeminism, creepy, douchebaggery, evil women, homophobia, hypocrisy, men who should not ever be with women ever, misandry, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, racism, rape, rapey, reactionary bullshit, reddit, shaming tactics, sluts, threats. Bookmark the permalink. 462 Comments.

  1. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    “Smart nice charming and sexy hot good looking is boyfriend material.”

    “So, those “alpha males” we keep hearing about then…”

    No Joanna, the Manosphere’s idea of “alpha” is “bad boys” and dominant men who will treat women like shit, not nice guys. They think women LURVE abusive “alpha males”.

    I like nice guys who are really, really good looking and physically fit. Like that one dude on that TV show about profiling seriel killers. Yummy!

  2. ” Like that one dude on that TV show about profiling seriel killers.”

    There are many of these shows, but if you’re talking about Criminal Minds and it’s nerdy criminal psychiatrist then yummy indeed.

  3. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    Yes, Criminal Minds. The nerdy guy is “cute” and I’d bang him too – but he’s not muscle toned and sexy like the hot one.

  4. NC4OM: Clearly you’re not familiar with the “facial alpha.”

  5. I still haven’t seen the famous “facial alpha” comments.

  6. Dare I ask what a “facial alpha” is?

  7. IIRC, it’s not as bad as it sounds–since MRAs flip-flop between defining Alpha as any hot guy, specifically assholes, specifically manginas, and just any guy a girl wants to have sex with, MRAL or someone of his ilk coined “facial alpha” as a guy who’s good-looking enough to be an alpha but fails to meet some other one of their arbitrary criteria.

  8. A Facial Alpha is one of MRAL’s categories.

    Basically, it’s his way of explaining why women would be attracted to men who aren’t tall (which he indicated was impossible). Short men who have handsome faces, such as the young Tom Cruise, can still be categorised as Alphas.

    There are also “Social Freak Alphas” who get by with charm, talent or whatever (rock stars and the like).

  9. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    Well the hot guy on CM has facial alphaness too. He’s the whole alpha package. But its rumored he’s gay, of course.

    “Short men who have handsome faces, such as the young Tom Cruise”

    What do you mean “young” Tom Cruise? According to the Manosphere women love old guys like George Clooney, and ancient relics like Jack Nicholson and Hugh Heffner! In fact, the older, wrinklyer, flaccider a man can get the better!

  10. MRAL seems to think that women are shallower and more looks-obsessed than men are. He views womankind’s seeming refusal to sleep with “Omegas” as the most pressing social issue of our time.

  11. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    Yes, that’s him.

  12. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    “He views womankind’s seeming refusal to sleep with “Omegas” as the most pressing social issue of our time.”

    The solution is Sexual Marxism, where each male citizen will be assigned a woman by the government. From each according to her ability, to each according to his need. When women fail to keep up their end of the societal contract, the nanny state must intervene.

  13. You’ve said that many times. There’s no need to be repetitive.

    I repeat, there is no need to be repetitive. No need to be repetitive at all. Repetitiveness is not necessarily needed.

  14. Spearhafoc has a more comprehensive memory of MRAL’s categories than I do. I defer to his preference.

  15. I can see why it feels pressing to him. I’m just not sure why he thinks that other people should feel the same way.

    Ah, the arrogance of youth.

  16. Hershele: I hate to break the Eleventh Commandment, but the use of the word “success” in this context takes for granted some bad and maladaptive attitudes about sex — I’m not saying you hold those attitudes, but you’re using language that reflects them.

    I don’t think so.

    If I desire an action to bring about a result, and it doesn’t, I have failed in my object.

    If I get that result I have succeeded.

    Ergo, since the people we are talking about express a desire to have sex, they have either been successful in their ends, or they haven’t.

  17. Also, NC4OM, please get some new material. I’m starting to feel like I’m in one of those shitty techno clubs where you feel like they’re been playing the same track for 2 hours.

  18. “Preference” was definitely not the word I meant.

  19. Do I get a prize for Heero admiring my comment? More importantly, did it make any impact? Hmm…

    Waaiiitt… Is NC4OM being serious or satirical here?

  20. Waaiiitt… Is NC4OM being serious or satirical here?

    She’s attempting satire. She’s been repeating the same spiel over and over again. Apparently she got the thing from Margaret Atwood or something.

  21. @Spearhafoc:

    Perhaps she’s doing an obtuse caricature of NWOSlave’s “men good women bad” thing? 4/10 at most.

  22. I think if I took a shot every time NC4OM quoted from The Handmaid’s Tale I would be dead from alcohol poisoning by now.

  23. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    I’ve never read The Handmaid’s Tale. In fact, the Sexual Marxism thing is from this blog. A commenter said it here a few months ago and then somebody qouted it on Susan’ Walsh’s blog and Susan came on saying, “OK I’ll bite, where is that from?” And the reply was “Manboobz”.

    It’s in Handmaid’s Tale too? Exactly the same thing?

    Anyway, its true. Its what the Manosphere wants. They’ve made that clear with all their talk about the Sexual Market Place and how now that women have been “liberated” we’ve cornered the market on sex and the distribution is no longer equitable.

  24. Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s from The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood. Wikipedia says this:

    A Marxist reading of fascism explains it as the backlash of the right after a failed revolution. Atwood explores this Marxist reading and translates its analysis into the structure of a religious and gender revolution. “From each according to her ability… to each according to his needs” (117) is a deliberate distortion of Marx’s phrase, “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need” — the latter, an ideological statement on class and society; the former, a stance taken by Gileadian society towards gender roles.

    Gileadian society is the fictional society in the book, which I interpreted as more of a totalitarian thing than communist, but then it’s been a while since I read it.

  25. Not communist. Authoritarian, sexist, and based on the subjection of women.

  26. Yup. So much for her constantly going on about Sexual Marxism.

  27. Wait–why were you reading Susan Walsh’s blog?

    And what kind of feminist has never heard of The Handmaid’s Tale?

    Suspicions begin to arise.

  28. No Cuntry 4 Old Men!

    Cats: “And what kind of feminist has never heard of The Handmaid’s Tale?”

    An Asian Feminist.

    Have you heard of The Sultana’s Dream???

    If not, you’re “suspicious”.

  29. Cassandra:

    Apparently heero thinks that there is a non-hateful way to say that, and that it would be an OK thing to say under certain circumstances?

    “My primary criterion for judging a potential romantic/sexual partner is breast size. The bigger the better. Beyond that I really have no preference”

    Crude, immature, and unsophisticated, to be sure. But I think it’s possible to feel that way without being more sexist than the baseline. It’s probably even possible for a feminist to feel that way, though perhaps not for long.

    Dracula:

    Oh, and you explained yourself just fine.

    No he didn’t, I couldn’t make head or tail of it.

    Cassandra:

    How does she even get “only wanting to fuck people you find attractive is sexist/bad/whatever” from what anyone here has written?

    If we’re counting MRAL as “someone here” …

    Pecunium:

    Ergo, since the people we are talking about express a desire to have sex, they have either been successful in their ends, or they haven’t.

    Well, all right. I was thinking about the notion of notches, but on rereading that doesn’t seem to map exactly onto what you meant.

  30. “Cassandra:

    Apparently heero thinks that there is a non-hateful way to say that, and that it would be an OK thing to say under certain circumstances?
    “My primary criterion for judging a potential romantic/sexual partner is breast size. The bigger the better. Beyond that I really have no preference”

    Crude, immature, and unsophisticated, to be sure. But I think it’s possible to feel that way without being more sexist than the baseline. It’s probably even possible for a feminist to feel that way, though perhaps not for long.”

    Huh? I was referring to the hypothetical statement that he attributed to Joanna, the one about wanting to throw men off bridges.

  31. Oh, I’d been skimming because heero makes my head hurt.

    Carry on.

  32. Have you heard of The Sultana’s Dream???

    Yupperonis. We’ve discussed it here before, IIRC.

  33. Katz: “And what kind of feminist has never heard of The Handmaid’s Tale?”

    A young one. Who has been to hundreds of mosques, and has a Ph.D (in either anthropology, or psych; she didn’t specify).

  34. >>A Marxist reading of fascism explains it as the backlash of the right after a failed revolution.

    This conception is outdated. Many Marxists and anarchists now hold to a “three way fight” theory, where fascism is an alternative revolutionary creed that seeks to supplant left-wing revolution, rather than a reactionary attempt to preserve the status quo or to roll back wins that were done during a failed revolution. Fascism actually takes a proactive role and does not wait in the wings until a left-wing revolution is attempted to assert itself.

  35. Our pal Toysoldier has some thoughts about this post:

    http://toysoldier.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/a-dose-of-stupid-v56/

    Naturally, he feels the need to misrepresent me and some of the commenters here.

  36. He’s seriously trying to necro that poor thread? I’m crying on the inside. Was that the most comments ever on one thread or was there an even longer one?

  37. Oh, that one. Poor baby.

  38. Blackbloc beat me to the three-way-fight!

    And yeah. I feel so horrible for Toystory and everything he’s gone through, and then he goes right back to the dishonest tactics.

  39. I was actually just thinking about that thread, in light of the gaslighting discussion at Feministe.

  40. Hmm. Y’know, one could make a case that the entire MRM is one big gaslighting operation. The “Women were never oppressed! You’ve always been pampered and protected while men went out and risked their necks to support you!” line strikes me as a classic gaslighting tactic.

  41. manonthemoon

    you will never be happy because you are a miserable person and spread your misery online just to have company for your misery. worthless human garbage. glad you won’t be able to get along with a female of the human species long enough to breed and pass on your defective genes. Darwinism at work :)

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