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“Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.”

Spock tries to warn the Captain about the evil vagina.

The daffy, excitable Man Going His Own Way who calls himself MarkyMark may be my favorite manosphere blogger of all. Not only does he bring the lulz himself – who can forget the time he wrote a completely unironic point by point rebuttal of an Onion article? – but he also helps to bring attention to the equally stupefying work of others.

In his latest post, he directs our attention to some observations made by fellow MGTOWer Spock’s Disciple on the Happy Bachelors forum on the subject of pussy and its discontents. “This is good stuff, stuff my boys need to read,” Mark writes. “[Spock’s Disciple], like his hero, applied cold hearted logic when analzying pussy. The Force is STRONG with that one!”

Yes, he actually wrote that. I don’t think it’s a joke. I think he honestly does not know that there is a difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. How that is possible, I do not know.

Anyway, on to the eminently rational Spock’s Disciple, reflecting on the irrational power of the ladybits:

Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.  How many wars and conflicts have been fought at the urging and behest of women? More than any honest man would admit to and would be proud of.

Young men are apparently helpless in the face of the punany:

The need for pussy is a very real and built in addiction for men.  We are hardwired by nature for sex and procreation. … [T]he sight and sound of pussy blinds younger men and allows them to be controlled by women though their hormones.

The, uh, SOUND of pussy? If I had to pick just two (or three, or four) sensory experiences relating to the vagina that would be generally considered appealing to heterosexual males, I’m not sure “sound” would make the cut.

But eventually even the horniest dudes start to get less horny – and thus less hypnotized by the power of the pussy. The only trouble is that by the time they lose interest in sex most of them are married, and they’re now stuck with the woman whose vagina formerly had them in thrall. It’s a grave injustice.

[W]hen most men pass the age of 30-35, they begin to awaken from this biochemical “dream” and what do they awaken beside? What do married men look forward to the next 30-50 years of their lives? Sleeping with a living corpse, which continues to torture and destroy them day by day? Looking forward to the time when the woman undergoes the process of metamorphosis, into a completely insane mummy (menopause and post menopause)?

This seems a tad alarmist. I mean, if your wife turns into a monster zombie-mummy – as all women apparently do after they hit their mid-thirties – you could always get separate bedrooms.

But Obi-Wan’s Spock’s Disciple has a more radical solution: don’t get into bed with the ladies in the first place!

Pussy is indeed way overrated and if younger men could get a shot of “anti-testosterone” for a few weeks, they could see through the eyes of men who are 40+; without the haze of hormones, you cannot believe how much farther you can see! It’s the difference between seeing the horizon through LA style smog and seeing the horizon from a high mountain in the Rockies.

Pussy is a man’s Achilles heel; once that man realizes this and takes the appropriate steps, he’ll never lose his peace of mind again.  To these skeptical young men I say, there is an infinitely vast arena where you can have anything you desire, and can succeed at anything you wish to try for; all you have to do is see women for what they truly are, and become a master of the beast within; once you do that women’s true face will be visible to you, and you’ll never again partake of that foul potion.

It is possible to tame that beast, and indeed it is a certainty that you will learn much from the process of taming it; all it takes is patience and time. Look at your fellow men, your brothers in arms, and look at their almost invisible chains, and wonder at why you would desire such an existence for yourself?

And, hey, if all else fails, MarkyMark adds some advice of his own: pay a visit to Pamela Handerson before going out on the town with one of those vagina-people.

[T]here is one thing that the younger men can do until their sex drives die down permanently: masturbate before going out with a woman.  … To put it another way, since the little head had been, shall we say, quieted down, the bigger head could work properly; the bigger head will then allow you to see a woman for who she REALLY is. 

If you’re a fan of Spock, and looking for appropriate masturbatory material, might I suggest this?

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Steph
9 years ago

Oh, MarkyMark, don’t you have a city to run?

red_locker
9 years ago

This is creepy, but also funny.

Crepunny?

kariface
kariface
9 years ago

I think I have a bruise from all the *headdesk*-ing I’ve done this week… wtf?

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Hey wait, aren’t there young men who aren’t interested in sex wth women? Oh, right, they’re not real men. Silly me!

What I always find funny about the “they’ll trap you into marriage with their insidious vaginas” argument is that it’s not hard to have sex and not get married. And I don’t really know anybody who got married just to ensure regular sex. Most of the people I know who are married have this weird thing where they like each other. Even when nobody’s junk is touching!

My grandparents were married for 57 years. When we lost my grandma she was 73. All gross and old and over 30! And yet, my grandfather still talks about how he misses her. It’s like… It’s like there was something else there, other than youthful genitals.

Bostonian
Bostonian
9 years ago

Also, what about those of us who dated without even kissing? How did we get “trapped” by a vulva we had never seen? (or heard, apparently)
I mean my spouse and I managed to get to know each other and be compatible on several levels before we got married, and amazingly enough, we still get along really well.

Amphitrite
Amphitrite
9 years ago

Anyone else getting a historical “Greek-Sparta/Roman” vibe from this?

Saving young men from women, one “mentor” at a time?

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

It’s funny because the only thing I can focus on is the terrible example of Implausible Exposition in the Star Trek comic above.

What kind of a spaceship captain would never have heard of a black hole? It’s kind of like on CSI and Bones when they have one of the scientific investigators go “and now I’ll do a spectrum chromatography, which consists of…” even though everyone in the room is supposed to have done at least one in high school and be familiar with techniques that are a zillion times more complicated.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

Unless Spock was then to follow up with “It is 20th century slang for what we now call a Berenstein Manifold of Type 3. Sort of inaccurate but gets the point across.” 😉

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

Wow, Spock must really disappointed in this guy. Highly illogical.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

MarkyMark is a special kind of dumb.

How many wars and conflicts have been fought at the urging and behest of women?

I see Spock’s Disciple is getting his history from The Big Book of Larnin’.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

This is creepy, but also funny.

Crepunny?

Sure, why not? I also think it’s kind of funny. I mean, I’m laughing “at” not “with” but still. Also, I don’t think the advice to *ahem* do the wash by hand is particularly misogynistic. Comparing women’s genitalia to WMDs is misogynistic. And saying that young men are helpless in the face of the “butterfly” is both ridiculous and misandric.

But taking care of business prior to date, especially if it’s been a while and you find the person incredibly physically attractive is decent, gender neutral advice.

blitzgal
9 years ago

The, uh, SOUND of pussy? If I had to pick just two (or three, or four) sensory experiences relating to the vagina that would be generally considered appealing to heterosexual males, I’m not sure “sound” would make the cut.

For guys who reduce women to their genitals, the “sound” of pussy is just women talking, laughing, participating in the world, etc.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

But taking care of business prior to date, especially if it’s been a while and you find the person incredibly physically attractive is decent, gender neutral advice.

Yeah, the only problem there is that I doubt very much MarkyMark or his followers would ever believe this advice could be applied to women under any circumstances.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

@Dracula, of course not! Women never masturbate. My hand/sex toys aren’t going to buy me anything!

But yeah, it does kind of seem like he has reasonable ideas buried under a fuckton of blind hatred. On this Onion rebuttal (fight the power, man!) he talks about how being friends first with the two girlfriends he has had allowed them to learn about each other and whether they are compatible. Which totally works for a lot of people. I just don’t know how you reconcile that with “the bitchez, they will manipulate you with their magic ladybits.”

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

They were* compatible. And me on the bus to my English syntax class.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

These guys realize you can just decide not to have sex and/or get married, right? It’s a real option! It’s not even that unusual!

But they’re not really saying they don’t want to do these things, of course. They’re saying that they want to do them in a world where women are perfectly submissive and don’t age past 29. Refusing to date is, to them, only an expression of rage in not living in that world, and not an actual decision.

I think they also genuinely think it’s some sort of pressure tactic, like any day now women are going to beat down their door screaming “I changed my mind about having needs or experiencing human aging, please take me back!” and then won’t they show everybody.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

How much of this is real anger and distrust of the “pussy addiction” versus sour grapes about not being able to trick women into having sex with them?

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
9 years ago

He also said,

In my life, I have yet to meet a single man who is or was ever happily married; I’ve met enough who bore their pain in stoic silence, and with only the occasional grimace of pain as the lash comes down on them again for any trivial infraction against their taskmaster wives

He must never leave the house if he doesn’t know at least one happily married man. Sure some marriages are bad but there are also a lot of good ones. I’m starting to think that MRA’s come from a parallel universe.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

Seriously, where are these guys meeting all these supposedly horrible women? Are they all just terrible judges of character?

David K. Meller
David K. Meller
9 years ago

Oh, c’mon manboobzers! At least female ones!

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD? Just look at your posts on manboobz.com! For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

I’m still wondering when Futrelle is going to change the name of his blog here from manboobz to womenbeinghateful.com?

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Where do they meet them? Who knows if they even have the nerve to talk to women in real life… or that how they see their own relationships unfold and eventually end are remotely based in reality? “Unreliable narrator” is an understatement with the MRA crowd.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

You know you’re not funny, right, Meller? I’m not even criticizing your ideology right now, because at this point you’re really more tiresome than genuinely offensive, but seriously, you don’t actually have a sense of humor. Quit trying to make jokes.

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

Spock: Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Jeez, Davey… go on and prove my point about unreliable narrators! I can’t find a man-hating post anywhere on this site. I’ve seen a lot of idiot-hating posts, and a lot of asshole-hating posts, but those are rightly earned by the idiots and the assholes.

You need to face reality: there’s basically no one out there who hates all men, and there’s no anti-man conspiracy out there. There are a few loud nutter misandrists out there, who have fuck-all when it comes to influencing anyone on any subject. Certainly there’s no one here posting that I’ve seen who dislikes men in general.

People just dislike YOU. Because of your personality, not your penis. Because of your behavior, not your balls.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

Meller-toad, cite at least three posts from women who post in these threads that indicate man-hating, generally as opposed to specifically. For example, a post that chastises and/or criticizes men who want to rape 14 year old girls will be unacceptable as will any posts that address your, specific, vindictive, bile-filled nature.

You assert that there “a LOT” of these posts. I am only asking that you cite, with links, a mere three.

Bedsores and Loneliness!!!!
Nobinayamu, the uber-shrike

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD?

Well, mine is the bomb. However, it has no UN inspectors or war-staring abilities.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

Point taken, Dracula. These are, after all, the same kinds of people who can’t figure out lesbian sex.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

Well, mine is the bomb.

See, Meller? Now that’s funny. Shut your stupid face and learn something.

ithiliana
9 years ago

DKM apparently thinks that the women posting on manboobz are typing with our pussies??????????

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD? Just look at your posts on manboobz.com! For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

And LOLs at him being too prissy to write out pussy. He’ll say all sorts of vicious nasty snaky crappy stuff, but OMG cannot write PUSSY!

PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY!

filetofswedishfish
9 years ago

Pussy-typing is where my Vagina Dentata come in real handy. It makes it easier to hit individual keys in order to make words, as opposed to just sort of ramming my crotch into the keyboard, hoping for the best.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Mine can’t type, it never learned how. I didn’t want it to become a secretary.

Ray Percival
9 years ago

Should I hold my breath waiting for DMK to make with the specific examples?

Joanna
9 years ago

Do you know what’s really weird? The majority of my friends are male. In fact I live with 5 guys. Not one of them are entranced by my pussy. We have like conversations and stuff. It’s great! No one’s trying to rape me or trick me into having sex with them. Why can’t you guys see a woman the way my friends see me? Huh?

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

@Joanna: They’re *obviously* all manginas.

If your gender relations theories don’t work out, just toss out people from consideration as members of each gender until it does. Of course by then you’re left with a theory that only explains maybe 10% of the world’s population, but who cares? 😉

filetofswedishfish
9 years ago

“Mine can’t type, it never learned how. I didn’t want it to become a secretary.”

We had to start taking typing classes in middle school, so I could type my own papers and screeds. I guess that’s also when the feminist indoctrination really got into full swing, too, since the boys were wholly excluded from typing, reading, writing, participation, and exercise-of-free-will classes from that point on, too.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

You know, I tried writing comments with my vagina, but it just came out looking like a cat had been rolling on my keyboard, and moisture isn’t good for computers, so I went back to using my hands.

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy:

These guys realize you can just decide not to have sex and/or get married, right? It’s a real option! It’s not even that unusual!

Don’t you think that depends on how strong your sex drive is? Or do you think it’s a good idea to say to a drug addict as a solution to his problems: “You realize, you can just decide not to use drugs, right?”

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

as opposed to just sort of ramming my crotch into the keyboard, hoping for the best.

This made me lol so hard I almost fell out of my chair.

Anthony Zarat
9 years ago

“If I had to pick just two … sensory experiences … considered appealing to … males, I’m not sure “sound” would make the cut.”

I don’t think he was using that word literally. I think he means “women-like-those-who-have-hurt-me”, not a body part. Or possibly women in general.

Life can inflict terrible injuries on men (and women). Why not leave these people to heal in peace?

There are several new mainstream MRM articles that I imagine would be of greater interest to this community than the musings of recent victims of family court exploitation.

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

Meller’s motto: “If you can’t say something intelligent, say something incoherent and dumb and damn the torpedoes.”

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

“You realize, you can just decide not to use drugs, right?”

Drugs aren’t people, Simon. They can jerk off at home if they can’t control themselves.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

I think he means “women-like-those-who-have-hurt-me”, not a body part. Or possibly women in general.

Oh, so basically they’re just reducing an entire human being to a single body part and you’re apologizing for them. I supposed that makes it perfectly acceptable, does it?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I’m curious as to why someone’s having had their feelings hurt is supposed to justify their creating entire websites devoted to calling women as a whole foul fiends who are ruining the world with their munitions-grade vaginas.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

ive tried to start typing with my penis so i can stand in unity with the pussy typers. i find it easier to lay the keyboard on the floor and assume a push-up position over it. in the minus column i can’t figure out a way to leave one ball on the shift key to do caps and symbols. in the plus column i’m going to hAVE AN INCREDIBLY TONED UPPER BODY IN SHORT ORDER. damn capslock. i am not going back and fixing that my foreskin is exhausted

cactusren
cactusren
9 years ago

Life can inflict terrible injuries on men (and women). Why not leave these people to heal in peace?.

What, you think none of the women here have been hurt by a man before? I was absolutely devastated when my first serious boyfriend dumped me. But somehow I managed to get over that without assuming that all men are assholes and deriding them on the internetz. If they were sitting by themselves healing in peace, I would let them. But instead they spew out utter stupidity and hatred towards all women. I’m sorry for anyone who’s been hurt, but that doesn’t excuse this sort of behavior.

Moewicus
Moewicus
9 years ago

Life can inflict terrible injuries on men (and women). Why not leave these people to heal in peace?

This is what you call healing, Antsy? This is anything but.

My question is why isn’t this person in therapy if they’re “healing”? Why can’t they keep their misogynistic bile off the Internets?

cactusren
cactusren
9 years ago

Gah…you included women in that statement…I retract the first sentence of my previous comment. The rest still stands, though.

Shora
9 years ago

Don’t you think that depends on how strong your sex drive is? Or do you think it’s a good idea to say to a drug addict as a solution to his problems: “You realize, you can just decide not to use drugs, right?”

Simon, what does this even mean? You know sex isn’t even nearly the same as drug use, right? Hell, sex is GOOD for you.

Moewicus
Moewicus
9 years ago

Regarding the advice to masturbate before a date, it’s not necessarily a gender-neutral piece of advice. Men have what’s called a refractory period wherein one is insensitive to erotic stimuli much more commonly than women do, whereas women have more variation in post-orgasm effects but are generally more open to erotic stimuli afterwards. So while masturbating before a date might be useful to women on other grounds, it seems like it would be useful to men in general to help them not be caught up in seeking sex from their date. [Insert caveats about statistical generalities not necessarily reflecting individual usefulness and how pussies aren’t WMDs here.]

darksidecat
9 years ago

I don’t have a problem with people masturbating before their dates, what makes the advice weird is the notion that if you did this you would no longer be interested in dating.

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