A PUA, living the dream. And by “living the dream” I mean “being a dick.”
Cheating is jerky. But this picture is still hilarious.
Here’s the bravely anonymous alpha blogger behind “Danger & Play ~ An online magazine for alpha males” explaining “Why You Should Cheat on Your Girlfriend.” I’ve bolded my favorite bit:
Haters will tell you to, “Man up! Break up with your girlfriend if you’re not happy.” They are missing the point. You want to have your cake, and to eat it too. Steady, reliable pussy and the occasional strange is the best of all worlds.
Cheating is a lot of fun, and it’s something I highly recommend. It’s way more exhilarating than bungee jumping, and few things feel as good as banging your girlfriend on the same day you banged some strange.
Cheating keeps your game tight. The best way to regulate your girlfriend is knowing you can bang chicks as hot or hotter than your girl. Well, when you cheat, this isn’t hypothetical. It’s reality.
Somehow I’m guessing there’s a lot more “hypothetical” than “reality” going on in this guy’s posts.
You don’t want an exclusive relationship? Fine. There’s no law saying you have to be in one. You can date casually and non-exclusively. You can have an open or polyamorous relationship. There are a lot of people out there in relationships, yet happily fucking other people outside of them. They’re just above board with it.
But that’s not what’s going on with our PUA friend here. With his talk about “regulat[ing]” girlfriends, he seems more interested in fucking over his girlfriend (assuming such a creature really exists) than he is in fucking strangers (sorry, “stranges”).
That’s not “Game.” That’s just being a dick.
But, hey, Nietzsche! He’s BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL! Or, as he puts it in a comment, “Shame and guilt are beta.”
You know, if you have to go around telling everyone what an Nietzschean ubermensch you are, you’re probably aren’t much of a Nietzschean ubermensch.
Posted on October 17, 2011, in alpha males, beta males, douchebaggery, men who should not ever be with women ever, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 961 Comments.
So the writer himself is a poseur and a beta.
http://unsanesafe.blogspot.com/2010/05/let-me-start-by-saying-this-im-not-fan.html
Brandon, I’m sure there are some good parts to PUA (to help shy guys develop confidence etc) but that blogger and the blog post about FRA that you liked is moving into the morally bankrupt section.
Brandon if your time is better spent elsewhere, why do you keep posting at a blog that is clearly not meant for you?
“Sometimes you should take the whore out to breakfast.”
Keep it classy, danger and douche.
Wanna know what I do whenever I start thinking I should date or hook up? I read some PUA blogs and it totally kills my libido and need to date. The misogyny, hypocrisy, madonna/whore bullshit just completely makes me think fuck it, its not worth it. I know not all guys use game, the majority probably don’t, but as sad as it sounds, I also think that the really decent guys and gals would probably be taken you know?
@Jill: Ya, and he is a nihilist. Hence it is to be expected of him.
Also, the whole FRA bit is standard MRA stuff…not PUA. While I see MRA’s exaggerate the numbers, I don’t think men should just black it out and don’t believe it actually happens. It does and the consequences are life altering and can ruin you. So even if iFRA’s only happened in 1-2% of the cases, I still think it is worth it to “gather evidence” because not doing so can put you in the slammer for a long ass time if you just happened to be in that 1-2%. And I am all for not going to jail because I couldn’t prove my innocence.
I also don’t really see anything wrong with it…feminists want consent, men are taking steps to actually prove they got consent. Seems like a win win.
These people aren’t looking for consent, Brandon. They’re looking for things that could create reasonable doubt in the mind of a jury. Not at all the same thing.
@Quakers: I am actually watching some TV right now and surfing the net…both more important than badgering women for sex.
If you don’t want to date then don’t. Most of the men, statistically speaking, that would approach you are probably using game. You never know of the ones that aren’t because they usually don’t just start conversations with strangers. So unless you start initiating all the conversations, you will run into more men that do use game as opposed to those that don’t. One of the mantras of PUA is “approach, approach, approach”
Meh, women do it all the time, why can’t us fellas?
Brandon, that blog post you liked is seriously not ok. Take this:
Trigger Warning and Overly Personal Story Tiemz: I’m uncomfortable going into the details here, but I was once sexually assaulted in my home, by an acquaintance. It wasn’t violent–he guilted me into inviting him in, then proceeded to ignore my “no” (and utter lack of “yes”) when I didn’t want sex. After he finally stopped, he fell asleep on my bed while I lay there feeling sick and horrified and guilty. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
My point is that he stayed over. We didn’t go out to breakfast, but if I had been more guilty or less convinced that what he did was Seriously Bad and Not My Fault, maybe we would have. And that didn’t make what he did even slightly okay.
…and that’s only the “breakfast” advice; I’m not even talking about the bit about videotaping it without her consent or getting her fingerprints on the condom or texting her (because rapists never text their victims?) or what have you. This isn’t advice about avoiding false rape accusations, it’s advice about committing date rape and getting away with it.
@Cassandra: Depends on how you do it. If I was filming in my bedroom and we are both on my bed naked and I said “Are you ready?” while trying to initiate sex and she said “yes” that’s consent. That isn’t reasonable doubt, it is her giving me the go ahead. The video is just evidence to prove it.
Continuing text messaging girls and keeping her responses acts as further proof that it was consentual. If I texted her “I really enjoyed last night” and she said “ya me too”. Then that is further proof of what the film already said.
His whole bit about the police is true too. If the police call and start questioning you, demand a lawyer. I mean, that was the first thing my father (a lawyer) taught me growing up. Say your name and where you live after that shut your mouth.
But “strange,” as in “strange pussy.”
You don’t know that’s what he means. It could be, um, Jonathan Strange? Cobwebs and Strange? Doctor Strange?
I’ve never understood the PUA community. I’ve fucked a lot of people, men/women, but I don’t sit around on the computer talking about it. I go out and do it, when I do it. Which, for me is not all the time anymore. That being said, I think grouping the greater MRM with PUA is ridiculous. There is not connection, that I can see. PUA seem like dorks to me.
I’ve fucked a lot of people, men/women, but I don’t sit around on the computer talking about it.
Ladies and gentlemen: Irony.
If y’all want to kill game, make things easier for the shy guys and tougher for the players….
Easier said than done of course.
Also, the players would pick up on that if that change occurred on a cultural level and would adapt their pitch…..
“I also don’t really see anything wrong with it…feminists want consent, men are taking steps to actually prove they got consent. Seems like a win win.”
I’m having trouble imagining spending time with a lover who had so much trouble trusting their partner that they needed to “prove consent”. Would film cameras be involved? Maybe one of those binding paper contracts? Witnesses?
Brandon, if you honestly think that the sort of cover your ass thing you’re advocating is what feminists mean when we say “make sure you get consent” then I think you’re pretty much beyond hope.
Also really, really self centered, but we already knew that.
And behold, for once I agree with magdelyn! Not about the fact that PUAs have nothing to do with the MRM (there’s definitely some crossover), but about the idea that they’re basically just dorks. Their whole schtick seems more like a bunch of nerds playing WOW than like anything I recognise as how normal people go out and get laid. It’s all, look at my score! And I slept with a 10 – I’ve levelled up! Not only is it creepy and sexist, it’s just way too intrinsically nerdy to make any sense to me in relation to my own sexual history.
“Also, the players would pick up on that if that change occurred on a cultural level and would adapt their pitch…..”
Apparently Geek Culture has changed NOTHING. : /
@Null: I never said I agreed with every point he made. I also don’t really like some of the wording, but that doesn’t mean I can’t “read through it” and find the point he is trying to make. And for me that point is that any evidence proving consent will work in my favor to protect myself from crimes I am accused of but didn’t commit.
Also, it is my house…so if I want to tape in it I will. I am also more willing to face an “illegal videotapping” crime than being sent to jail for rape. I would rather pay the fine or smaller jail sentence than a rape sentence.
Also, are we assuming that the women being filmed are aware that they’re being filmed, or no? Because if they’re not aware that they’re being filmed that’s a whole extra level of creepy WTF. Your paranoia about hypothetical false rape accusations doesn’t mean that you get to involve random women in making amateur porn without their consent, dudebros.
Brandon:
You know, I’ve had my share of sexual experiences over the years… statistically more than my share, come to think of it… and not once have I ever felt like I needed to videotape it to prove I wasn’t committing rape. I’ve never walked around so paranoid that I felt like I needed to create and/or preserve evidence that I wasn’t committing a sexual assault on another human being. You know why?
Because a CYA attitude is assumed by people who are doing the wrong thing. People generally assume that the motives of other people generally match their own. That’s why really really good people tend to be really really gullible: they assume that everyone else is as good as they are, and get tricked by people constantly. More average folks don’t get tricked a bunch, but also don’t walk around being suspicious of the people around them 24/7. You know who is constantly on their guard against people who are looking to screw them over?
People who are 24/7 looking to trick and coerce and cheat and steal from and lie to everyone they come across every chance they get. Not good people who might catch a bad break. Bad people who get pissed off when they get cheated before they get a chance to cheat first. People like the PUAs. And apparently people like you.
Here’s my plan: We make a gender equal society wherein there are no easy social tricks that can trap women into going home with assholes, and break down gender roles so that women can ask out dudes, and shyness. Eh? Eh? Sounds like a winner for everyone except shy people interested in other shy people.
Asshole.
@Molly: Not every sexual encounter is between people that trust one another. I have slept with women within the first few hours of meeting them. But I don’t proceed unless I have consent. So having a video of it would speak louder than me just going “I got consent”.
“Also, it is my house…so if I want to tape in it I will. I am also more willing to face an “illegal videotapping” crime than being sent to jail for rape. I would rather pay the fine or smaller jail sentence than a rape sentence.”
In order to avoid being falsely accused of violating a woman in one way, I’m going to violate her in another way instead! This makes total sense if we remember that I, Brandon, am the center of the universe.
“If y’all want to kill game, make things easier for the shy guys and tougher for the players….”
1) I don’t think anyone cares about “killing game”.
2) Women are not a hivemind; if I wanted to “make things easier for the shy guys” I would have no way to do it, any more than you would be able to make things easier for shy girls.
3) If I have sex with someone, it’s because I’m attracted to them and I want to, not because I’ve determined they’re a player or a shy guy or a Martian or anything else.
4) Not being manipulative and pushy and rapey is something that all human beings need to do to be decent human beings; it’s not one strategy out of many for getting laid.
“Also, it is my house…so if I want to tape in it I will. I am also more willing to face an “illegal videotapping” crime than being sent to jail for rape. I would rather pay the fine or smaller jail sentence than a rape sentence.”
I know this is a radical concept, but you could have your cake and eat it too if you got permission to video tape before sex. And just only have sex with people who will agree to this condition. But somehow, sex matters more to you than their right to integrity; color me shocked.
Brandon, I was actually *kidding* about the videotape thing. And then you said it was something you actually did… o.o
@Cassandra: Again, I would rather break a smaller law, if it proved my innocence so I didn’t have to serve a longer sentence.
Also, I am not saying those videos should be distributed or sold. Just kept in case you need to prove your innocence.
I think my paranoia is justified. The idea of going to jail for rape that I didn’t commit means I am willing to take a few precautions to mitigate that problem.
@Rutee: Women can ask men out…they just don’t. In fact, when it comes to dating, women tend to hold the most sexist positions (he should take me out, he should pay, that is what a real man does, if you don’t do X then your a loser). If women want equality, then maybe they should get rid of those notions that the man is required to do XYZ during meeting,dating, having sex, etc…
@Molly: I actually don’t. However, it does seem like a good idea and I might start.
@Rutee: You are bringing up the woman’s integrity in relation to using the video to prove my innocence in a false rape trial…wow. Now that is just funny.
Brandon, you’re still viewing this only in terms of how it would affect you. But the person you’d be having sex with has interests too, and you don’t just get to ignore those in favor of your own.
That’s illegal. And creepy and rapey and not at all a decent thing to do. You’re thinking only in terms of how it will affect you, while other people are arguing that what you’re doing is morally wrong and harmful to the other person you’d be taping.
In general, you seem to be unwilling to acknowledge other people’s perspectives–basically every post you make is “I do this because it works out best for me.” In this case, you’re saying that you would infringe on another person’s rights by videotaping them having sex without their consent because of a small chance it would work out better that way for you if they attempted to have you convicted of rape. That’s pretty horrible.
I’m quite aware that you’re OK with breaking the law, Brandon. I’m just pointing out that your behavior is unethical, and that your willingness to violate a sexual partner’s right to privacy by filming her without her permission, combined with your legalistic approach to this issue in general, doesn’t exactly inspire great confidence in your intentions in general.
Yeah, I forgot to mention how unethical and potentially illegal it is to record people without their permission, especially during sex.
Ruttee, what specifically makes me an asshole?
I didn’t say it covered everything but I did state something that would move things in a better direction…..
@Null: Again, falsely accusing someone of rape is illegal too. Hence the video would only ever be known is if she broke the law first. And you know what is the decent thing to do? Not falsely accusing people of rape.
I value myself more than her. My freedom is more important than her. My livelihood is more important than her. My ability to be gainfully employed is more important than her.
How is a video showing her giving me consent, rapey. Seems like it is the opposite of that.
No, I get it. Women probably don’t like the idea of someone videotaping them during sex. But me not spending time in jail is far more important than her feeling that I am weird or creepy. Those feelings will go away, a rape conviction won’t.
Being a dick would be me selling or putting the video up on the internet. I don’t think that is something men should do. Those videos serve the purpose of protecting you, not to make money or as bragging rights.
“It’s All About Brandon” is on again! Now with 50% more creepiness!
Brandon: No, DO NOT fucking videotape people without their fucking consent. :( All it takes is one douchebag to find the video on your computer and your lovers are the new YouPorn stars. Not to mention that it’s hella creepy.
Also, consent is not a thing men get from women, it is a thing PEOPLE get from PEOPLE. Because men can say no too!
stonerwithaboner: I date shy guys because they get me wet, not out of some communist pussy redistribution system. As it happens, having people date people they DON’T FUCKING WANT TO DATE rarely ends well.
Oh yeah, what happened to Ashley, did she deflate?
I’m sure he’ll be back with a story that she’d be totes cool with being taped during sex.
@Cassandra: I tend to evaluate most things in life in a calculated manner. From investing to dating. So far it has worked out pretty well. I get to enjoy life while mitigating most of the risks.
Brandon, let me break this down for you.
Videotaping someone during sex is a sex act.
Doing sex acts to someone without their consent is rape.
Therefore, videotaping someone during sex without their consent is rapey at best.
“illegal videotapping”
Sex on tape = videotapping?
Just so we’re clear here, you think it’s a sound plan to commit an actual crime on the off chance of being accused of an imaginary one? You do realize this makes no sense at all, right? Even when viewed through the of pure self-interest?
Stoner: You’re an asshole because you think making women sleep with shy guys is a good way of making people not coerce people into sex. People should not coerce people into sex, period. You don’t get rewarded with pussy for passing Decent Human Being 101.
I’m still a bit o.o about Brandon’s revelation. Here I’ve been going out and having casual sex and thinking I could figure out if someone was consensual by *talking* about it!
“…through the [lens]…”
where did I say that anyone should be made to have sex with anyone?
I wonder if Brandon films himself every second so as to have an albi to avoid being falsely accused of murder, robbery, etc. After all, false charges and false convictions for these things are more common.
@ Brandon – Hey, thanks for making it nice and clear that you don’t actually value consent at all, you only value making sure that you don’t get in trouble for not getting consent. It’s always instructive when men make it clear that they don’t care about whether or not their partners are actually consenting at all.
PS – This is why people keep calling you rapey. You’ve made it crystal clear that you have no interest in not violating the people you sleep with, only an interest in making sure that you can’t be prosecuted for doing so.
Why do i read these threads? It always makes me homicidal.
Hey folks, don’t knock Brandon too much. Everyone knows that any woman will accuse their fuck-buddy of rape because they were dissatisfied, or they wanted to be mean, or just for the hell of it. Brandon has every right to illegally videotape partners without consent, because more likely than not they will try to put him in jail first chance they get!
[/fucktonofsarcasm]
Brandon. Dude. Not cool. If you are that paranoid about being accused of rape, don’t have sex. It’s very simple. Rationalizing an illegal activity via paranoia is like justifying murder by saying “they might kill me first.”
You aren’t being logical. You aren’t being rationale. You are being insane. Get over yourself.
Brandon, your combination of narcissism and paranoia would seem to make you an unfit sexual partner for pretty much anyone. Most people worried about these issues would just be satisfied with not having sex with drunk people, and letting relationships develop to the point that you can trust your partners. Hidden cameras, saving emails and texts, and building a defense against a rape charge before having sex?
Seriously, you need to keep it in your pants if you’re that worried!
What an oversized load of class AAA manure the feminist manboobs gang is. It’s amazing ya’ll don’t choke on your own hypocracy. A PUA is just a male version of a woman whose a slut. Where’s your gender equality ladies? If ya demand praise for women who are sluts, ya better demand praise for PUAs. Let’s have us a little review of the comments in the collective.
—————-
We’ve got Holly Pervocracy with, “It’s not physical.”—“It’s not emotional”—“Instead it seems to be based entirely on achievement.” Amused with, “these guys are incapable of intimacy.” Pecunium with, “Treating other people as people, not things”
And on and on it goes with the tired old matra of PUAs not seeing women as people, and the monolith in total agreement. Sluts on the other hand are the creme of the crop for seeing men as humans and not objects. Hell, half the women posting here have blogs proclaiming the sensitivity and wholesome beauty of sluts. Even though PUAs and sluts are one in the same.
—————-
We’ve got, as an aside, Wisteria, “In fact, I think women often end up looking better than men of similar age because many women take better care of themselves.” We’ve got vacuumslayer, ” I am 39, so is he, and he looks great. But I have been mistaken for his daughter. Ouch. Who’s aging better?” And darksidecat, “Personally, I think women age way, way better, but that could just be a matter of personal taste.”
What don’t women do better than men, even incidentally? The vanity knows no bounds, nor does the delusions.
—————–
We have the tiresome Quackers, “They use the tactics for revenge,” Amused, “I’d venture a guess they don’t even like sex itself that much.”
And everyone as monlith agrees PUAs have sex for revenge and actually hate sex as well as women. But sluts who are the same thing love sex and and men.
—————–
Now we come to the supermonolith, Eneya, “he dounds like the crappiest lover ever” improbablejoe, “Second, I agree with the assumption that PUAs aren’t particularly good at sex”
This goes on forever about PUAs being bad at sex. However, “the sluts are so much better at sex and shouldn’t be shamed drum,” is beaten with extreme fervor and veracity by the Ozy, Holly, Molly and all the rest. This little gem even draws out the big guns of, “see how patriarchy hurts men as well!” Sluts and PUAs are one in the same. Praise one, praise them both.
—————–
The gang of course moves on to the standard shaming tactics which don’t even work on a twelve year old boy anymore. Even a child can see, if you don’t practice what you preach, your preaching ain’t worth practicing.
The gang even has the audacity to mention integrity, honor and morals amongst other virtues in their attempts at shaming. Unfortunately, since you all seem to have blogs you cross-post on we can see your morals, honor and integrity which consist of; Praise sluts, always accept a womans word at face value, women need more to be equal, “she fears you,” “awaiting orders,” men commit DV, patriarchy, and on and on it goes. Just saying women are honorable, have shitloads of integrity and are moral isn’t the same as acting that way.
—————-
Women scream to high heaven about their beloved sexual agency. Well you got it. Being sexually independent is the opposite of being loyal. Ya can’t be both. If a man cheats, he’s exercising his sexual agency, just like a woman. Women don’t owe men sex, or loyalty. Well OK. Men don’t owe women sexual loyalty either. This what you wanted. Don’t suddenly act as if cheating is bad, this is what you fought for. Men and women don’t owe each other sexual loyalty.
@Brandon, you’re still doing it.
“Hence the video would only ever be known is if she broke the law first.”
The hypothetical “she” has only your word on this, and videotaping someone without their consent is still illegal even if you never show the video to anyone else. (And unethical as well, unless perhaps you are a classical utilitarian living in an impregnable bunker with an undetectable recording device and no way to transmit the video yourself.) You’re doing something unethical because of a slim chance that she could do something unethical… yep, pretty sure that’s still horrible.
“My freedom is more important than her. My livelihood is more important than her. My ability to be gainfully employed is more important than her. ”
…To you. However, many humans have evolved empathy and reasoning, which allow them to consider other people’s points of view and not just blindly act in their own self-interest. Many of these people consider those who do act only in their own self-interest to be assholes. See the rest of the thread.
“But me not spending time in jail is far more important than her feeling that I am weird or creepy. Those feelings will go away, a rape conviction won’t. ”
As an Actual Rape Survivor (ZOMG!), being sexually violated is quite different from feeling that someone is weird or creepy, and the feelings don’t necessarily “go away”. For example, I feel right now that you are weird and creepy, but I’ll forget about it soon after I get my ass off the internet and into bed. On the other hand, after being raped I feel uncomfortable enough with sexually coercive situations that I’ve basically left the BDSM community I used to be a part of, and I get scared and upset when I see someone that kind of looks like my rapist. Being secretly videotaped having sex… yeah, that’s much closer to “sexually violated” than it is to “weird and creepy”.
NWO, even 15 year olds from Kansas won’t give you the time of day, why do you care what anyone else is doing?
Aaaaaand it’s time for NWO to display his awesome comprehension skills!
“As it happens, having people date people they DON’T FUCKING WANT TO DATE rarely ends well.”
Agreed…..
That’s not what I stated. Now Ozy, specifically, If I may ask, do you actually ask out shy guys? How do you approach this?
@HellKell: It’s so nice that you remember these details about my life. No Ashley is still around and she walks and talks and all sorts of other fun things.
@Dracula: I have committed crimes before (smoking weed, underage drinking, etc…). I tend to not really give a shit if something is illegal or not. I only take my morality and risks into account. Recording video and not showing it to others is pretty safe. And even still, I am savvy enough to encrypt the files. And those videos serve the function of protecting my greatest asset…my own freedom. So even if FRA were 0.5%,
Also, rape unlike other crimes has the benefit of being behind closed doors. So the only thing people have to go on is your word for evidence. This is pretty flimsy legal defense.
@Ozy: Videotaping someone without their consent is a separate crime. So the courts would find me innocent of the rape charge, but guilty of illegal videotaping. Also, the videos would be only brought into light if I was falsely accused. I see pressing “play” 1000 times is worth the benefit of not going to jail for rape.
@Cassandra: I value both. This example just allows me to do both: cover my ass and provides evidence to the court that consent was made. It’s like killing to birds with one stone.
Also, how am I violating them? They would be in my house and consenting to sex. Their privacy? Their privacy wouldn’t be violated unless they falsely accuse me of rape. Otherwise, as Al Gore would say “They go into a lockbox”.
@ Brandon – No, you don’t. If you did you would understand why it isn’t OK to film someone having sex without their consent.
@NullPointer:
I think his point of view (which I personally don’t agree with) is that while doing that might be illegal, it’s not a violation of the other’s rights, nor unethical, unless he shares the video tape with other people (excluding him submitting the tape as evidence in a trial). The only time he’d ever share the tape with other people would be to submit it as evidence in a trial, so from his point of view there’s no problem.
I’m new here, and I can already see that NWOslave is the neighborhood punching bag. How sad for him, that his pleasure comes from saying dumb things and having people verbally spank him over and over again.
NWOslave, why don’t you get it over with and find yourself a dominatrix and get it over with? You’ll be much happier, and much less of a pest to the rest of us.
@Null: I am doing something unethical…in your eyes. Not mine.
NWO: We disapprove of coercing people into sex and of dishonesty, because those are unethical. We do not disapprove of safe, emotionally healthy, enthusiastically consensual, honest sex, whatever form it may take, because that IS ethical.
I don’t say sluts are wholesome and beautiful. I say sluts are people too. Some sluts are cool; some sluts are assholes; most sluts are just ordinary people like anyone else. Sluts are not necessarily better at sex than non-sluts; after all, some virgins are wicked dirty-minded, and some monogamous married people have practiced a lot. :)
Everyone owes their partner(s) honesty. You do not necessarily have to only have one partner (I have five at the moment); however, all of your partners should know that you have other partners, what level of commitment you have to those partners and ideally they should meet each other. Possibly for brunch. Lying is the douchey thing here, not having multiple partners per se.
Men commit DV. Women also commit DV. Nonbinaries commit DV. Committing DV is a people thing; your gender identity does not make you automagically incapable of committing DV.
P.S. WHAT DO SLUTS DRESS LIKE?
Some comments got stuck in moderation from Jennifer Frances Armstrong and Improbable Joe; they’re all on this page, if you want to scroll up and check them out.
Brandon, so you want to prove you’re Mr. Consensual by videotaping someone having sex without their consent?
And DKM, wow, that is some incredible doublethink you’ve got going on there, Mr.Women Have it Coming But I don’t Advocate Violence.
Maybe feminists should promote PUAwalks, since PUAs and sluts are the same thing.
And Matthew gets the point. Congrats. It’s cool that you don’t agree with me. But at least you can see my pov.
Brandon, you are a really creepy guy. Thanks for reinforcing my paranoia to never sleep with a guy at his place. And I thought I was being paranoid and silly…
I have to wonder, if you and all the other guys who are so scared of being falsely accused, you must know deep down that you are not decent people. I mean if you subscribe to the notion that women who do that do so out of revenge and regret, how bout just not be an ass to the women you sleep with? then you wont have anything to worry about.
Actually that’s a good point – what does Brandon do if a woman wants to have sex with him, but at her place? Does he carry a camcorder around just in case, or does he refuse because the risk of false rape accusations is just too high?
Brandon: My objection was not legal, but ethical, insofar as involving someone in a sex act without their consent is pretty much the definition of rapey. Honestly, if you’re this worried about FRAs, don’t have casual sex, or only have it with friends.
Stoner: Yes, I ask out shy guys. :) All of my current male partners are shy guys I asked. How do I do it? Well, one of them I flirted with on Facebook for a while, involving an elaborate metaphor about sex and battle (lots of “flank attacks”!) and then we clarified we were actually going to have kinky sex. One of them I invited myself over to his dorm room to watch Doctor Who, sat down on his bed, told him to cuddle with me and then informed him, after the episode ended, that the awkward silences meant “kiss me now.” (He professed to be utterly dumbfounded that I was interested in him.) The third was an elaborate process involving several months, thirty bucks worth of vegan chocolate, acquiring my first Magic deck and lots of snuggles; I eventually just went for it and kissed him.
@NWO:
“A PUA is just a male version of a woman whose[sic] a slut.”
No, the male version of a woman who is a slut would be someone who is comfortable with their sexuality and seeks out others like himself, having lots of sex in the process. A PUA is in the process of trying to trick a woman into sex by insulting her… don’t ask me how this makes sense.
@Brandon:
Let’s try out a little thing called empathy (and morality, but we’ll get there in a second). Let’s say you go over to a woman’s house and have some consensual sex. Later on you happen to find out that, unbeknownst to you, she had video taped you both. Would you agree that she was perfectly justified in doing so, even against your wishes?
If this skeeves you out, congratulations! You now know why videotaping somebody without their consent is wrong.
If it doesn’t, that’s fine. Because what you have to realize is that most women DO NOT WANT YOU TAPING THEM! If taping doesn’t do it for you, try thinking of something you would not like someone doing to you, and imagine how you would feel if they did it without your knowledge.
Now some women may be fine with you taping them, they might even get a thrill out of it. You know how you can tell whether it would be ok or not? FUCKING ASK THEM! And if they say no, DON’T DO IT!
You say you want to avoid the possibility of false rape charges. In society, your rights end where another person’s begins. You are not allowed to violate another person’s rights for the sake of your own. Therefore, if you cannot have sex with a woman for fear of rape, for the love of all that is good and just in the world stay away from it.
God dammit, it’s like trying to explain something to a 5 year old. At least they have a reason for being sociopaths…
Hey thanks for the shout out NWO!! :D
@David: I am having consensual sex but non-consensual videotaping. In court these are two different crimes: consensual sex vs rape, consensual videotaping vs illegal videotaping.
Morally speaking, I see no unethical problem with breaking videotaping laws in order to prove your innocence for the larger crime.
Also, I think that video without the audio is still legal. At least in Mass.
Brandon, how do you make sure the sex you have with Ashley is consensual? Have you known her long enough to trust her, or does that just not happen with you anymore?