Lady, killer; killer, lady.
What do women want? Freud never found a definitive answer to his famous question, but the blogger who calls himself Delusion Damage thinks he’s got it figured out: women want men who can kill people with their bare hands.
DD is a sort of compound MRA-PUA who argues for “Men’s Liberation Through ‘Game,’” as he put it in a Spearhead post some months ago. Apparently, if dudes learn how to get the hot babes to give them strings-free sexy times, through the magic of “game,” this will help to “reduce the unilateral enslavement of men through marriage.”
And what attracts the ladies more than the ability to kill? Not much, apparently. If you’ve got that magic killing touch, everyone around you will sense your manly power:
You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled power. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use force and must rely on men where force is required. … If you lack the ability to kill other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …
If you can kill, the ladies will pick up on this instantly:
[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.
I believe he’s referring to blowjobs.
Oh, and other dudes will be impressed, too:
The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your killing ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can beat up whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your killing ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.
And this will set you apart from all the wimpy emo hipsters of the world, who couldn’t even fight a girl:
If there is a “defining” degree of killing ability that makes you “manly”, it is defined by comparison with the female of the species. …
In these dismal times, men who fall short of this line are not terribly rare. Many of the emaciated hipsters and cubicle-dwellers of our generation would have trouble against a Juanita from a rougher neighborhood. These men, due to their lack of killing ability, are seen as unmanly by both men and women.
Meanwhile, your ability to kill will make others sit up and take notice:
The ability to kill makes your feelings relevant. If you lose your temper, someone dies.
This of course implies good things about you – the fact that you aren’t in jail right now means that you are a man in control of his emotions. A man who never loses his temper. Everyone around you subconsciously understands this and respects you for it. It lets people know they can trust you.
Yeah, nothing screams “trustworthy” more than a guy going on and on about how he could kill you with his bare hands.
Also, the ability to kill can help to prevent the ladies from blabbing endlessly about their stupid lady crap to you:
A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.
Aw, yeah, it’s good to be a potential bare-hands killer:
[Y]ou will be afforded a completely unprecedented kind of respect. …
When you are The Man, everyone around takes note. It is a form of celebrity. Women gravitate to you, pulled by the invisible streams of attention, respect and deference which we all subconsciously sense in any social situation.
Given the sort of adoring attention DD must get from the ladies, it’s sort of amazing that he finds time to even keep up a blog at all.
Posted on September 17, 2011, in alpha males, bad boys, beta males, bullying, manginas, masculinity, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, PUA, racism, thug-lovers, violence against men/women. Bookmark the permalink. 378 Comments.
Do these idiots ever talk to women? Because I *PROMISE* you, kids who can pull off emo style well and look deep have gotten more panties wet than every Arnold Scwharzennager and Sylvester Stallone flick put together. Jesus tapdancing christ, I don’t even think this guy believes it. What’s the betting he’s said “Brad Pitt” not “Manny Pacquiao” (I had to look up his name) for the ‘eminent Alpha’ or whatever these fucks call the few male sex symbols. Simple fact of the matter is that women aren’t a hive mind. We don’t all respect the same thing, but the evidence strongly indicates that the most popular shit? It’s *Not* killing ability. By a long shot.
And if a woman really thinks you’ll kill her when you lose her temper, it’s more likely she’s not going to hang out with you at all.
“The ability to kill makes your feelings relevant. If you lose your temper, someone dies.”
That has got to be the creepiest, most messed-up thing we’ve ever heard.
DD is racist, sexist and violent. He’s the MRA total package.
I bet this fool couldn’t even open a pickle jar without help.
Is this the A Real Man Is A Killer trope I see here?
I didn’t know that apparently, murderers wih a bad temper are some of the most respected people in society today, and that chicks totally dig them. After all, it seems a bit difficult to pick up women when you’re in prison, for instance.
And I really, really fail to see what is supposed to be attractive or worthy of respect about seeming like you’d kill people if they say something you don’t like.
Unless DD mistakes fear for admiration.
You know what we call it when you force someone to have sex with you via threat of physical violence? Rape.
Have these guys ever talked to any actual ladies? Or any actual men, for that matter? Outside of MRA echo chambers, I mean.
Because, as a lady who enjoys sexy time with dudes, I can assure you that the last thing I want from my interaction with a man is the constant threat of death if I displease him in any way. Perhaps I am alone in this and the MRAs have their fingers on the pulse of the collective ladybrain in a way that is beyond my modest womanly capability.
Is this idiot really suggesting that we are automatically and irresistibly attracted to men who could and presumably would kill us in a matter of seconds if he lost his temper?
One wonders if he has ever actually spoken to a woman.
“Many of the emaciated hipsters and cubicle-dwellers of our generation would have trouble against a Juanita from a rougher neighborhood.”
I don’t care how tough you are; “juanitas” are no joke.
Damn, my comment went into moderation ):
Shouldn’t have linked to TVTropes.
But yeah, DD’s “advice” seems really out there. I mean, do they think action movies or video games are supposed to depict reality? Sure, there are some…special people who draw fanart or write self-insert fanfics featuring Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy (DeviantArt is a curious place), but they are not the majority by far.
Seriously, as it has been mentioned. fear or stockholm syndrome do not equal admiration and attraction.
I shudder at the thought that some guys actually take DD’s advice to heart…
Because I am a Linkara fangirl…
I AM A MAN!
Well, if nothing else, he’s chosen an appropriate moniker, as his delusions are damaging.
But… but… but…
I like emo hipsters. :(
Although I have dated a couple of martial artists, none of them appear particularly likely to kill me.
Well if there were any doubt that MRA frequently equals abuser, this effectively erases that doubt.
Why does it have to be bare-handed? Couldn’t you just carry a gun or a syringe full of poison around with you all the time? Or a katana? I bet NOBODY gets more action that a man who owns a katana.
*than
Also, the spellchecker doesn’t know the word “katana”, what the heck?
In his essay, he also wrote, “You will not be someone a woman can feel safe with. You will be as useless in an emergency as the woman herself.”
I would NOT want a violent hot head on my side during an emergency situation. I want to be with someone who can remain as calm as possible and make rational decisions. I am impressed when anyone walks away from a potentially violent situation at the expense of foolish pride. If someone cares more about their pride than the consequences of their actions, then he or she is a hindrance rather than a help. I think the lesson about fighting is best said by James Earl Jones.
Or sais! This guy could kill someone in 3 seconds and is probably up to his neck in sexy ladies! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZl1QBOW5X0
(And seriously, he could have sexy time with more women than any MRA or PUA if he wanted…)
When I was a kid, I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass. Does that count?
And here I spent all my time learning (to look up) poetry.
/emo
To think I’m happiest when around my laid-back, quirky friends, with who I can LAN and go on 1 a.m. convenience store-runs with, when what I REALLY need is a potential murderer.
If you look at the output of the American movie industry you’d think that the whole country is totally in love with violent imagery.
Yes erotic scenes are considered evil and disgusting.
Maybe that is how these PUA types get their ideas for the wacked out theories.
I’ll admit that armor looks incredibly hot on some guys. As do 1337 fighting skills. But that’s in the SCA, where a ‘good’ hit is one that would have caused damage had the sword been real. A guy who not only made a big deal of the fact that he can kill with his bare hands, but who also made it clear that I would be one temper loss from losing my own life would be a guy I ran from, as far and as fast as possible.
Under whatever colour of sky it is in his world, not only are emergency situations cause for having to kill someone with your bare hands, but women are incapable of doing anything, other than giving men sex and having men’s babies. Not only are women useless in an emergency, but are also incapable of providing food and shelter for themselves, as he points out in the first paragraph of his Spearhead post:
“The fundamental contract between the sexes, put down in law as the institution of marriage, unchanged for countless generations, was essentially this: the man provides the woman with food and shelter which she is unable to acquire on her own, and the woman in exchange provides the man with sex and children which he is unable to acquire on his own.”
He then further regales us with his brilliant knowledge of historical marriage laws (remember, it was like this for countless generations, before the “women’s liberation” movement):
It was understood in what’s called “the spirit of the law” that the wife was entitled to access to the husband’s income and whatever material wealth came thereof,…
Pam: I’m firmly convinced that pulling that much history out of one’s ass much hurt.
I think this is probably up there in my personal list of “PUA posts that make me feel the sickest”. It’s taken me a *huge* personal effort to trust people who are physically stronger than me/have had military training after watching my old high school acquaintances come back unstable with PTSD or hearing stories about Middies hazing gay men on my campus. “Damage” has just shit all over the idea that strength, respect, and even sanity can go together.
So my question is this: Can Mister Damage kill someone with his bare hands? Presumably he can, and presumably he believes that this has made him popular with the ladies. Do we believe that there are actual women who are reinforcing this bizarre opinion?
It seems more likely that Mister Damage is in some form of training regime: I imagine him mumbling to himself as he works out on a speedbag for hours on end:
“Soon,” he says eagerly, “Soon, I will be sufficiently deadly for the women to come line up at my door. ‘Oh Delusion…’ they will say ‘you’re such a lethal and yet well-restrained figure of masculinity.’ Yes… That’s what they will say…”
Maybe ‘Delusion’ is too formal. Does he imagine the ladies calling him “Del”? “Delly”? “Lucy”?
In any case, Lucy Damage is hard at work learning to kill people. Once he has learned how, he will go out on the town and will likely return home disappointed and disillusioned. At that point, he will need to come up with some other gender-essentialist theory for attracting women.
I say we should save him the trouble. What ideas do people have? Anything that seems man-related can be wrestled into the tortured logic of “what women truly desire is a man who…”
For example, once he’s done with homicide, our Lucy-poo could decide that all women are interested exclusively in men who know how to change a flat tire. Or that women desperately want men who know how to tie a bow tie. Or that women… you get the pattern. What ideas can we provide for poor Lucy when the cruel female world refuses to love him despite his well-developed punching powers?
What ever the merits of this guys argument, it is not purely out from left field. I’ll just leave this here: http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/08/do-popular-kids-bully-more/
But Leo, do we have to taunt him by giving him a girl’s name? That’s not really a great insult. : /
“What ideas can we provide for poor Lucy when the cruel female world refuses to love him despite his well-developed punching powers?”
Damage, I always wanted a man who could do massage and wore emo clothing.
Um, magdelynswallows? Did you read your own link? Because there’s this paragraph in it:
“Faris also found that the more kids cared about popularity, the more aggressive they were. Ironically, that’s pointless; hostile behavior did not cause rises in status. ‘The evidence suggests that overall aggression does not increase status,’ he says. Then again, it’s not whether it works that’s important. It’s whether the kids believe it works.”
So, what? We should excuse Damage because he has the same reasoning power as a high schooler and will ultimately be ineffective?
Guess he doesn’t call himself Delusion Damage for no reason!
Lucy Damage is a great name for a woman in a punk band though.
I keep wanting to make Damage’s post into another ManBoobz mad lib:
“You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled snuggling. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use snuggling and must rely on men where snuggling is required. … If you lack the ability to snuggle other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …
“[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.
“The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your snuggling ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can snuggle whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your snuggling ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.”
@Molly: I really didn’t mean ‘Lucy’ as an insult. Rereading my post, I can see how it looks as if I did.
How do you feel about calling him Del? To that end, a prose poem entitled Darling Del:
Desperately desirous of being ‘Deadly Del’, our darling Del deployed deliciously dated discussion and thereby deserved disrespectful, even derisive, deconstruction. Dear Del: desist from your dubious defense of death-dealing. Do deeper deeds, decent deeds, not deadlier and dopier ones.
So every woman wants a man she feels safe with but who is likely to kill her. Hmm.
There are a few martial artists and ex military types among my friends who, come to think of it, probably could kill a man if they really wanted to (they’re not all male). I don’t think I treat my other friends with less respect than them though. Does Mr Damage? If so, does he know what “friend” actually means to the rest of us?
maggie, do you ever actually criticize anything said by MRAs? You come in here and passive-aggressively sort-of-defend all sort of ridiculous MRA opinions — even some, like this nonsense from DD, that I can’t believe you really agree with.
Uhm…I agree with every friggin word Delusion Damage, I just use the safer term of “Violent Potential” instead of killing potential So Help Me GOD!!!!
CONSPIRACY OR FACT:
The T.v show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was a secret Feminist indoctrination campaign bent on turning Men of War like Frank Borone a Korean war vet and proud Killer in to PUSSY WHOOPED Robert Borone (6’7′ 275 lb, PISTOL PACKING NYPD OFFICER)
The Man of Yesterday against the Man of the Future…BOTH TRAINED KILLERS
But to succeed in their dastardly Plot FEMINIST have to DESTROY the self worth of the Man of today….
…..Ray Borone…..
the Moron..The Mama’s Boy…The Fool!!!!
CONSPIRACY OR FACT: U decide…(ominous music fade to black)
*blinks a few times*
It’s like David K. Meller and NWOslave had a baby.
*looks around at food*
*looks around at shelter*
*looks around and sees no men*
mind = blown
Totally anecdotal: I grew up in a house with a brother with a hair-trigger temper. Had to seriously tiptoe when I talked because sometimes he would just perceive that I had insulted him and then fly off the handle. Violently. I didn’t think, “Boy! My brother must be getting all kinds of pussy!” I thought, “I feel sorry for any woman who ends up marrying him.”
Also worth pointing out that he ended up being a virgin til he was 26 or 27. So there you go–being dangerous and violent? Not necessarily a formula for getting laid.
Pam, I also found DD’s idea of women being useless in an emergency to be ridiculous. I guess he imagines most emergency situations require hand to hand combat, and that in his world no woman knows how to fight. I actually saw women in the Missouri National Guard and Americorps searching the remains of buildings in the damage path of Joplin looking for survivors after the tornado. My friend is a nurse, and she put in long hours at a makeshift hospital tending to people with horrific injuries. Delusion Damage would probably watch all that and say, “Hey, women are supposed to making sandwiches and giving blowjobs, not saving lives!”
His opinions on marital rape from the Spearhead article were even worse, in my opinion. I felt sick to read his theory that a wife’s body is her husband’s property. I couldn’t even make it through all the comments of the article. I think Delusion Damage is one of the most offensive MRA’s I have seen yet, and that’s really saying a lot.
Budmin, are you a poe?
There was a fruit fly hanging around my house recently. No matter what I was doing, it seemed unable to find anywhere to fly around other than around my head. I tried and tried to squash it – when it landed near my milk, when it drifted in front of the computer screen, when it tried to climb up my nose. But no. “Dammit, vagina!” I cried, “I am trying to kill with my bare hands! Quit screwing this up!”
Of course not…What’s a “POE”
My hypothetical context for how he came up with this idea:
Emo girl: I’m just not into guys like you.
DD: What kind of guys are you into?
Emo girl: The Killers.
DD: …
Budmin asking what a poe is reminds me of trolls asking what a troll is when called out on their trolling.
So it’s probably a safe bet that he is, in fact, a poe!
Better luck next time, budmin :3
4/10 for effort.
Budmin’s not a poe, he’s the innovator behind a brand new type of literary theory! Violent Potential Theory can explicate all of the great works of literature. Watch and learn:
CONSPIRACY OR FACT?
The play “Hamlet” was a secret feminist indoctrination campaign designed to demonize King Claudius (Bad ass king of Denmark, willing to poison his OWN brother and bang his sister-in-law) and replace him with pussy Hamlet who can’t kill anyone properly (he killed Polonius instead of Claudius, and spent all sorts of time navel-gazing which men don’t do).
Even though Hamlet could have been redeemed at the end by a kick-ass swordfight, the feminist author (who was probably a woman — or a gay!) decided that finally acting like a MAN was something that had to be punished. So Hamlet died.
CONSPIRACY OR FACT? YOU DECIDE!
I decide that Budmin is now one of my heroes.
Go ahead, make jokes…
It’s just like when I discovered that feminist were behind the NBA and NFL Lock outs as part of their plan to replace Football Sunday with dancing with the stars…
One day the world will see my genius…and when they make a movie about me, I want to be Will Smith to play my Role.
I SHALL BE VINDICATED….
Poe. It’s the word “dastardly” that gives it away.
XD XD XD
I hope to Poe one day like you Budmin!
Poe, no question. Knock it off.
It’s just like when I discovered that feminist were behind the NBA and NFL Lock outs as part of their plan to replace Football Sunday with dancing with the stars…
That was….awesome.
Well maybe not, you are too obvious!
Will Smith is awesome! But will he be able to truly capture the essence of your genius?
I think someone like Samuel L. Jackson would be better suited for that role. I’m sure his voice would be even better to enlighten the world with your wisdom ♥! It just has this wisdom and ominousness to it!
Dude watched Roadhouse one too many times.
One day the world will see my genius…and when they make a movie about me, I want to be Will Smith to play my Role.
Definitely Shatner.
Still, this thread is at least a bit more entertaining then the usual fanfare…
Okay back to maturity town..
The guys who place so much emphasis on violence as the defining tool of “True Manhood” are probably nursing some pretty severe high school bully issues. They probably think that they don’t deserve to be loved because they didn’t fight back enough.
“A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.”
…Wow. I’m pretty sure most women wouldn’t want to be with a person who would “have less than three seconds to live” just by making the guy lose his temper because they “poked and prodded” just a bit too much. That’s called, uh, you know, ABUSE. Holy shit.
I just read this on the site:
“…the man provides the woman with food and shelter which she is unable to acquire on her own…”
Women can’t provide themselves with food and shelter? Really? Even though there were and are women who plant, tend to and harvest food? Hell, there were are are women who hunt and make shelter. We live in something called a “society,” in which we all work together to provide for each other. And it seems like the most successful and peaceful societies are ones in which men and women share power, which is actually what is often seen in matrilineal (but not patriarchal) societies.
“It was understood in what’s called ‘the spirit of the law’ that the wife was entitled to access to the husband’s income and whatever material wealth came thereof, and that the husband was entitled to access to his wife’s reproductive system and whatever offspring came thereof.”
“Access” to his wife’s reproductive system? Like it’s some kind of computer terminal? Sounds creepy as fuck.
When a dog gets mad, this happens:
1. Body language showing annoyance (low tail, tense body posture, wrinkled forehead)
2. Growling, hackles up, teeth baring
3. Snapping
4. Actual attacking
So yeah, dogs’ social communication skills are several levels more sophisticated than this guy’s.
I’m thinking that that’s his very definition of what constitutes an emergency, a life-threatening situation for which hand to hand combat is the only viable route for resolution. I’d hate to have him by my side if, say, I went into cardiac arrest.
I don’t think it would occur to him that she was saving lives and not just feeding them sammiches, changing their bedpans, and performing perfunctory blowjobs, as she ought.
After reading his first couple of paragraphs, I just briefly skimmed the rest of his article, as the astounding ignorance he displayed in those first paragraphs made it clear that he was just engaging in peacockery with the audience who had raised him on their “we hunted the woolly mammoth for you!” stories. The same goes for his “Learn to Kill People with Your Bare Hands” drivel.
Yes, he is one of the more offensive ones, but I think he has a ways to go yet before he can compete with the likes of, say, Peter Andrew Nolan or David K Meller.
Steph: I have to say, men who own katanas (or at least this one) do, “ok”, but there are men who get more action than I do.
Which, on other fronts, is probably also contrary to his thesis, as I risk sharing too much information.
I’d like to take a moment and congratulate luke123 for presenting us with a theory that’s actually not half bad. Well done, sir.
*Polite clapping*
1) I live in Washington Heights, NYC, a bona fide “rougher neighborhood”. The most aggressive thing I’ve seen happen in the time I’ve been here is the old men outside the bodega slapping down dominoes extra hard.
2) That said, I don’t doubt that there are “Juanitas” in this neighborhood who could fucking end you if you rubbed them the wrong way. Referring to them as “Juanitas” is probably a good start.
3) I always think it’s funny seeing the difference in attitude between these armchair warriors and people who may have, y’know, actually, at some point in their lives, experienced some violence.
Yeah, nothing makes me feel safe enough to invite a strange guy over for sex than knowing I’d have less than three seconds to live if I pissed him off. Did DD stop to review what he wrote before he posted it? Or was he too busy typing one-handed?
OOH! OOOH! OOH! I JUST HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA!
If I can kill with MY bare hands, does that mean I can date whatever guys I want (that want to date me, of course), even if DD declares them wimps?
“A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.”
Does this scream “domestic abuser” to anyone else? Like, your partner should FEAR you’re going to go apeshit and beat them for no other reason that you can?
If I knew a guy that could be easily prodded into murdering other people, I’d probably either call the cops or poison him in self-defense.
Seraph: I’ve moved to Jersey City… Ommengang is celebrating craft beers weeks, shall we get together?
(p.s. the link isn’t working)
I see no flaws in his plan. Certainly if I were dating a strong man with hair-trigger temper and issues with women, I’d expect my friends to have no questions about this at all. Certainly when Studcakes Berserker finally kills me (I am quite the nag!) he’ll have the presence of mind to cover his tracks and our neighbors and friends will defend him to the investigating detective. And it goes without saying that someone who can come up with such a brilliant philosophy and can display upwards of three whole seconds of ‘controlled power’ in stressful situations will do splendidly in any courtroom in the land.
Well, dammit, here’s the link with no HTML fanciness:
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/
He’s got a point though. Women want to feel safe and protected, and it’s been shown time and time again that women respond to displays of aggression and dominance with open legs and gushing vaginas. I’ve noticed this on several occassions, particularly with tall guys at parties and clubs. I always wince in pain when I watch some 6’3+ stud walk up to someone’s girl and start groping her, and it’s clear that the weak beta manlet can’t do anything to stop it. It’s particularly bad when it’s clear that the girl fucking loves it (which is most of the time) and no doubt ends up downing his alpha seed by the end of the night.
You guys can claim not working out, not learning how to fight isn’t important, but when the above scenario happens what are you going to do to prevent an alpha from stealing your girl? Try to put him to sleep with feminist rhetoric? Good luck with that.