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The recent ugliness on Reddit

From time to time, something will happen on the Internet or in real life that I know I should write about for Man Boobz, but it’s so infuriating or depressing that I can’t bring myself to write about it. The recent bullshit on Reddit involving a young woman whose story of a sexual assault was met with angry disbelief until she provided video proof that her injuries were real is a perfect case in point.

Briefly, what happened is this:

A young woman posted about a sexual assault she’d endured a day or so earlier – a man had tried to rape her, pushing her to the ground and scraping her face on the pavement. In a separate topic she posted a picture of her injuries, most notably a giant scrape on her cheek. You can see it at right; click on the picture to see it full size.

Then another Redditor noticed that some time back, the same woman had posted a picture of herself in zombie makeup. This, he said, made him skeptical that her injuries were real — it was probably just a good makeup job.

That was all it took to send Reddit into a full internet lynch mob frenzy: obviously this woman was a liar and an attention whore and, even worse, possibly a feminist anti-rape activist! Redditors suddenly became both medical and makeup experts, and declared that the giant scrape on her face was obviously phony. (Not to me; I tried arguing with several of them to no avail.) It got ugly, very ugly, very quickly.

The woman at the heart of the storm asked if she needed to post an actual video of her cleaning the wound on her face to show that it was real; a redditor demanded that she do just that.

So she did. (Here it is.) Long story short: the scrape is real. The woman also posted a picture of the business card given to her by the police detective she’s spoken to when reporting the incident. It’s now pretty clear that there is no reason to doubt that her story is true. Even the Redditor who originally challenged her story realized that she was almost certainly telling the truth.

Here’s her post offering proof to back up her story.

At this point the lynch mob lost its steam; some people even apologized to her.

But the evidence of the ugliness remains in a host of different threads and different subforums on Reddit. I honestly don’t have the energy or the  patience to sift through all of the ugliness; luckily, Jezebel has given a decent account of the whole spectacle; you can go there to get some more of the details.

You might also want to look in to the main thread where most of the ugliness occurred — though at this point many of the vile accusatory comments that got upvoted when everyone seemed to assume she was lying have been retroactively voted down. (The screenshot I posted above gives a better idea of what it looked like at the time; here’s another screenshot with some of the choicer comments.)

Naturally, Men’s Rightsers contributed to the ugliness – though most of the worst comments appeared outside of the Men’s Rights subreddit, and a surprising number of r/mr regulars refused to jump on the original “she’s a liar” bandwagon.

While many Men’s Rightsters are now apologetic, others still think she may be lying.

Here’s a good discussion of the whole thing in ShitRedditSays, and a followup.

 

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Posted on September 12, 2011, in bullying, douchebaggery, drama, evil women, false accusations, misogyny, MRA, rape, reddit. Bookmark the permalink. 463 Comments.

  1. i just…

    why do these people exist…

  2. That is so shitty I don’t even… I’m gonna go snuggle the cats and husband.

  3. If you lie, people won’t believe you even when you speak the truth. This commonplace bit of wisdom ought to be second nature to women who are concerned about, and perhaps even victimized by rape.

    Someone who does this, and who fooled people once before with makeup tricks, even in an entirely unrelated incident, certainly can’t be surprised if viewers look at her with some skepticism, given the hugh, and growing number of totally phony rape accusation floating around.

    “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME”

    Besides, it is past time for everyone, even anti-rape activists, to understand that false accusations distract real law enforcement and court resources away from actual victims, and toward those women with an axe to grind and who abuse the rape (or sex-harassment) laws to cry “april fool!” at the first opportunity.

    Given the realities of the world we live in, the Reddit people seem to have acted responsibly, however distressing the picture of the recently attacked woman is.

    PEACE AND FREEDOM!!
    David K. Meller

  4. dkm are you actually dumb enough to believe ‘wearing a costume once’ translates to ‘lying about rape’ or are you just desperate for an excuse?

  5. Meller, you are a piece of shit.

  6. the second thing, sharculese.

    It’s quite a wonderful acrobatic feat to make the howling mob into ‘acting responsibly’.

    I am just surprised he didn’t claim she was asking for it by posting on the forum.

  7. Someone who does this, and who fooled people once before with makeup tricks

    yeah, I am SURE her makeup fooled EVERYONE into thinking she was actually a zombie.

    SURE. (dammit, I need a sarcasm smiley)

    And I say that as someone with experience in the field.

    Meller is quite a cobag, isn’t he?

  8. dkm are you actually dumb enough to believe ‘wearing a costume once’ translates to ‘lying about rape’ or are you just desperate for an excuse?

    This isn’t an either or proposition, Sharculese. He’s both.

    Warty and slimy, and a rancid shade of green.

  9. I call for DKM to be banned. He just lost what little amusement he provided.

  10. Not surprising considering that, in spite of the actual evidence against DSK, the MRM has been crowing about how his accuser totally made it all up.

  11. DKM: You are cordially invited to fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on. And then go your own fucking way.

  12. There seems to be no way–maybe literally no way, like not if it was on video and the attacker confessed and there are twenty-three nuns and priests as witnesses–to convince MRAs something isn’t a ZOMG FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION if they make up their mind to see it that way.

    This woman is brave as hell and I hope that in the mess at least a few people learned to question their tendency to make nasty assumptions.

  13. Besides, it is past time for everyone, even anti-rape activists, to understand that false accusations distract real law enforcement and court resources away from actual victims

    Don’t you have a cross to go burn?

  14. I think that on some level, the “she still must be lying” people aren’t as bad (although they’re disgusting) as the people who admit she’s telling the truth but then jump into “skepticism is good, I regret nothing” or “but there are a lot of false accusations, let’s talk about false accusations now” or “well, how dare she talk about it, and in public, what’s more!”

    If someone is completely resistant to evidence, well, they’re just stupid; but if someone understands when they’re wrong about facts but not when they’re wrong about how you fucking treat human beings, that’s a very different and much scarier level of horrible.

  15. DKM crossed the line, went back, took a dump on it, then ran away for miles over on the other side of the line.

    Calling for ban.

  16. Also, DKM, look in a fucking mirror and think about what’s happened to your fucking life.

  17. DKM, I’d send you to Being a Decent Human Being 101, but I think that’s too advanced for you. Remedial Humanity, maybe? Or will we have to set up a basic tutorial?

  18. I’m putting DKM on moderation.

  19. Societal Contract

    How soon can we implemented the 2 sides of the Mississippi River program?

    We’ll keep a few honorable men, like Mr. Futrelle, on our side, otherwise I see no reason that women should have to share space with monsters.

    As Lady Raine (Wendy Shwartz) pointed out already, women NEVER needed men until we were FORCED to pretend that we did through the farce invention of a horrible thing called “the marriage INSTITUTION”…. yep, coz you gotta be crazy to fall for that.

    I’m done with being institutionalized.

    Karma will bite these mofos in the ass and they’ll get their due.

  20. SC, please let’s not forget that men who act like normal human beings make up the vast majority in the real world.

    I don’t NEED men–but I like some of them just fine.

  21. @david,

    could i interest you in maybe also deleting that… thing he left behind. i dont like knowing it exists.

  22. How soon can we implemented the 2 sides of the Mississippi River program?

    We’ll keep a few honorable men, like Mr. Futrelle, on our side, otherwise I see no reason that women should have to share space with monsters.

    I’d like to point out the New Orleans is technically on the east side of the river. I’ll miss Seattle, but I’ll live with the consolation prize.

  23. How soon can we implemented the 2 sides of the Mississippi River program?

    Still not interested. Even if it means sharing space with a toad like Meller.

  24. Societal Contract

    “Still not interested. Even if it means sharing space with a toad like Meller”

    I said our side will keep honorable men like David Futrelle and this hunk;

    Shit! I might have to rethink my BJ position.

  25. DKM has to be a troll. No one could possibly believe that putting on a freaking zombie costume constitutes “lying”.

  26. @SC: I for one still happen to like the majority men that I meet. Separation of men and women won’t change the fact that violence exists and that it is perpetuated.

  27. could i interest you in maybe also deleting that… thing he left behind. i dont like knowing it exists.

    Or just view it in its proper place: As a reminder of the evil ideas that the MRM/pro-rape/rape apologist party tries to spread. Shit. It’s not like actual fucking judges in rape cases don’t say worse shit all the time. On the one hand it’s shocking, and on the other, you gotta stare it in its ugly face to banish it. What’s shocking, actually, is that MRAs like Meller and the slaveman are recycling age-old ideas about women’s and men’s sexuality like it’s something they just discovered. We shouldn’t have to fight the same blatant lies that anti-rape activists have been fight against for the past half a century. Isn’t it time for progress?

    Sadly, this post reminds me that if a woman with a black eye can’t be believed to have been injured, what about all the rape victims who have no injuries? Who will believe them?

  28. This made me so angry >:\ Apparently besides all the other groups that “can’t be raped” or that we can’t believe, now it’s ppl who have exp w/ zombie make up!? >:\ I HATE the internet detectives… I had ppl do the exact same thing to me on my LJ when I was writing about what happened to me. And it’s the same “hmm you didn’t mention where your arm was on the couch” “why didn’t you fight back” etc etc…

    What bugs me is that in the wake of her proving the injury is real (which yeah, doesn’t mean whether it happened or not, but the injury is real), people are doing the “we were just going with the facts at hand!” “we’re just being fair and neutral!” Actually… neutral is “we have no idea what happened”…. “we have no idea what happened” != “she must be lying”. It means you have NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED. Once you start speculating on what happened, you ARE taking a side, and making assumptions and constructing narratives >_>;;

    Ugh. I’m glad she’s getting some apologies though :]

  29. David K. Meller | September 12, 2011 at 9:52 pm
    If you lie, people won’t believe you even when you speak the truth. This commonplace bit of wisdom ought to be second nature to women who are concerned about, and perhaps even victimized by rape.

    XD Okay… so nobody should ever believe a word you say again right? xD Ever ever ever, even if you said the sky is blue? :3

    Someone who does this, and who fooled people once before with makeup tricks, even in an entirely unrelated incident, certainly can’t be surprised if viewers look at her with some skepticism, given the hugh, and growing number of totally phony rape accusation floating around.

    So Halloween is a holiday of liars and nebody who’s ever worn a halloween costume can never be believed again? xD Got it. xD

    “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME”

    I think there’s a lot of ppl here who think you SHOULD feel ashamed. xD

    Besides, it is past time for everyone, even anti-rape activists, to understand that false accusations distract real law enforcement and court resources away from actual victims, and toward those women with an axe to grind and who abuse the rape (or sex-harassment) laws to cry “april fool!” at the first opportunity.

    Whose false accusations are you referring to here in this situation? o_O

    Given the realities of the world we live in, the Reddit people seem to have acted responsibly, however distressing the picture of the recently attacked woman is.

    What responsibilities did they have that you believe they rightfully acted on? What are the responsibilities of people online regarding rape? :3

  30. DKM: what an ugly, sad little man he is. In D&D terms, he’d be something like a Kobold (and not the nice ones like Deekan)–evil, but ultimately more of an annoyance than anything else.

  31. Societal Contract

    DKM: “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME”

    Um, that’s now how it goes…

  32. If you MRAs want people to start caring about all these so-called false rape accusations, how about you start caring about ACTUAL rape victims, rather than dismissing them all the time, accusing them of lying about it, or being slutty and asking for it?

    Every single MRA site I’ve ever been to downplays, dismisses and brushes rape off like its no big deal. I’ve even heard them justify it by using women’s rape fantasies as “proof” that women probably secretly like it. There’s also non-stop misinformation and victim blaming…telling them not to dress like sluts, etc. With this sick attitude, you expect me to care? No. What this tells me is that A LOT more work needs to be done in preventing and educating about rape.

    and with the way female rape victims are treated, you think this is going to make the male victims come forward? Bullshit! they’ll take one look at this Reddit thread and wont say a thing. Yea, you MRA shits really care about male victims dont you?

    And Societal Contract…in the past I would have said you were being silly, but the more I read the things MRAs say, and hear about situations like this one, or whenever I go on ANY website and women posters are constantly called whores, sluts, bitches, told tits or GTFO, get me a sammich etc, the more I wonder just how much your average joe hates women…

  33. Someone who does this, and who fooled people once before with makeup tricks, even in an entirely unrelated incident, certainly can’t be surprised if viewers look at her with some skepticism, given the hugh, and growing number of totally phony rape accusation floating around.

    This made me think. Who’s fooled by zombie make up? Like that ppl think there actually ARE zombies? XD

    Maybe DKM is! Like he saw one of those zombie walks and thought there actually WAS a zombie apocalypse XD And he got super excited and grabbed his shotgun and started sandbagging his lawn and etc, then realized… no wait.. it’s just ppl in zombie makeup! xD And so he got angry, embittered and disappointed and that’s why he considers zombie make up “fooling” ppl and hates it w/ a vengeance XD

  34. What if a lot more women went online and told their stories of being raped? Showed the bruises, talked about how they’ll be asking their school to give them breathing space to recover, and not fail their first term at a school they’ve worked for years to get into.

    I think part of the reaction to the OP is that there’s an attitude that not only do good girls not get raped, but that good girls, if the unmentionable happens, do NOT TALK ABOUT IT. Certainly not online in a public forum. (It must be fake, because if it were real, she’d be too ashamed/traumatized/private to talk about it.) But what if they do? Young people have lived their entire lives online. It’s part of how they interact with the world, and have meaning in the world. I keep thinking the web is going to change society in ways we haven’t thought of yet. Maybe this is one of them. Could rape victims, men and women, telling their stories change the (rape) culture?

  35. @David K. Meller Can you provide reliable, vetted stats on the number of supposedly false rape accusations for your country, which I assume is the USA (protip – nobody can because no one can figure out how to tally them in a way that doesn’t inflate the numbers)? If you cite Eugene Kanin’s terrible 1994 study you lose. Some UK studies have come up with some of the more reliable results out there and that suggest a false reporting rate of 2-3%, on par with the percent of false reports of other crimes. You’re not refusing to believe in any other crime because of the worry of false reporting so your argument is invalid. Shut up about false rape accusations until you do something about the the real cases of rape that never get punished or prevented.

    You must find Halloween pretty upsetting, then, since practically everyone lies all day long, ZOMG. Also, every child on earth because they lie all the damn time in their dress-up clothes and games of pretend.

    Seriously, though, think about what you wrote. You’re saying that woman was lying by pretending she has been… what? Victimised by zombies? Yes, that is what you seem to have written. You need to take some time to reflect.

    I think you means to quote it thus: “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” Societal Contract has kindly provided an example of the correct way to use this aphorism.

    Also, if you are a troll, you’re a poor one. We may have been duped into responding but your efforts are still unfunny and you’ve relied on some easy trolling. I doubt the chans will be especially impressed.

  36. I think what David K. Meller was trying to say (and what others have said) is that she’s showed skill at using special fx makeup before, and so she might be doing it again? Which is a dumb argument anyway, because if I were one of those guys who believed she was lying, a video wouldn’t have made any difference. All it showed is that she fell and scraped her cheek.

    But honestly it doesn’t matter, even if it’s a hoax (which seems highly unlikely at this point), I’d rather fall for it by showing sympathy and support, than heap further shit on a real victim. As somebody on reddit put it, better to be a rube than an asshole.

  37. This is the problem with arguing on the internet. I could say I just ate a whole water melon by myself. But that wouldn’t be impressive enough. You guys would want proof. So I send photos of my progress eating through this watermelon. You guys call cheating or Photoshop. I post a video of me eating the watermelon. You guys call cheating and video editing.
    Now it’s fair to say I can’t compare the subject of watermelon eating to the subject or rape; and those guys were total assholes about it by the way, but seriously…
    I really wouldn’t be arsed trying to prove myself on the internet, knowing in my heart of hearts that I ate that watermelon myself, and half the population of internet users are too socially challenged to accept that.

    On saying that, asking for proof of rape is disgusting. Are those guys so egotistical that they have to defend their gender to the nth degree?

  38. Quakers: Average Joes don’t hate women. Douchebags on the Internet hate women. Lots of men– including Pecunium, Spear, Kirby, Nobby, Jumbofish, Captain Bathrobe and a lot of other Manboobz regulars*– are men and don’t have the slightest resentment towards women.

    *Sorry to anyone I forgot. :(

  39. I for one would like to know more about these millions and billions of poor men who are sent to jail after false accusations. You see, I attended slut walk in Toronto, and have learned a great deal about how so few women actually report getting raped due to fears of being revictimized because the cops tend to disbelieve them, treat them like they asked for it, and make them go to ridiculous lengths to prove it. So, I wonder about the bazillion men in the clink, and wonder how much they had to prove to their fellow men that they DIDNT rape before the MRA’s believe they are innocent.

    I would also like sources. Lot’s of them. Then I’d like to know where you’re sources got their sources.

  40. Like that ppl think there actually ARE zombies? XD

    hey now.

  41. Meller: If you lie, people won’t believe you even when you speak the truth.

    Truer words were never spoken, and yet you wonder why people don’t believe you.

    Now, care to offer proof that this person has lied in the past?

    No, of course not. That would be admitting error, and, “The Great Meller” is never wrong (not even that time with the… well we don’t talk about that, do we?)

  42. 508 points?

    I really like the, “You are telling an awful horrible lie, and I don’t know why”, with the, “I’m just the tiniest bit skeptical”

    Bullshit. That’s not skeptical, that’s not even, as phrased, accusation; it was assertion of known fact.

  43. My question isn’t whether she sustained a bruise and was pushed to the ground, but why she thought that it was sexual assault and how sexual assault turns into, as you say, “nearly being raped”.

    I’d like to know what happened leading up to her being attacked. What the guy said to her, what contact he had, why she felt that this constituted sexual assault rather than just assault.

  44. Right Piggy… She has no reason to know what happened, not any to describe it.

    And you don’t need to know the things you claim. You need to either accept that the victim of an assault has some idea of what happened, or your need to admit you don’t care; so long as it doesn’t meet your specific definitions of rape/sexual assault you will dismiss it.

    There is no reason whatsoever to ask “what led up to it”.

    None.

  45. The fact he tried to tear her pants off is the usually the first clue G.L. Piggy. And if you bothered to go to the links, it has a description of the attack.

  46. You are a vile little piece of shit, Piggy. I knew you were a slimeball, but I thought you were a slime ball with some measure of restraint.

  47. Ozymandias- if I used MRA logic, I could just scoff at your attempt to persuade me that NAMALT (not all men are like that) but I won’t. Because I’m an not an asshole like that XP

    I agree. The guys on here are great (excluding the trolls) I wish guys like this would make themselves more known all over the internet. It’s very disheartening to run into sexist comments on every website I visit, on every article I read. I know it’s the internet and is to be expected, but these are still actual people with these opinions.

  48. how sexual assault turns into, as you say, “nearly being raped”.

    Really?

    This is unclear to you?

    Or are you just looking for fap material?

  49. Oh, it breaks my heart to look at the picture of her injury. I also feel so bad for her for being treated so badly by the jerks on the Internet.

    GL Piggy, so even when a woman has physical injuries after an attack, she needs to prove it was sexual in nature? Why do you need to know what events led up to the attack? That’s ridiculous. I think you should be on moderation, too, for your offensive statements.

  50. Well, now I feel even more depressed about the world.

    The fact that this poor woman was pressured into providing proof for these assholes online is sickening. I hope she has friends and family that have been on her side without demanding evidence.

  51. Societal Contract

    “And Societal Contract…in the past I would have said you were being silly, but the more I read the things MRAs say, and hear about situations like this one, or whenever I go on ANY website and women posters are constantly called whores, sluts, bitches, told tits or GTFO, get me a sammich etc, the more I wonder just how much your average joe hates women…”

    The more they come out of the closet online, the more we can vet which ones to keep on our side of the Mississippi and which ones to “send their own way” across to the other side.

  52. good god can you people have a discussion without freaking out and foaming at the mouth? the woman put a story of her sexual assault on reddit for the world to read. she put this out for public consumption. granted, some people have been overly strong in their rhetoric and won’t accept the woman’s claims no matter what.

    but it was once claimed that “1 in 4″ women were raped – either during the course of the college career or during their lifetime. then it became “1 in 4″ are sexually assaulted. the definition and the actions that define the term were shifted to encompass a wider plethora of behaviors, but the outrage on the part of feminists stayed the same.

    i’m asking what is the basis of “sexual assault” and “near rape” charges – the lingo David uses. I read through the reddit and subreddits the day after the original post was put up, and i read through David’s post today. there’s a lot of content, so maybe i missed where the woman explained what was said leading up to the incident, why she considered it sexual assault, and why David calls it “nearly rape”.

    separately, i would ask why her encounter was any worse or deserving of any more attention than any other sort of attack that happens to men and women all the time. i’ve been assaulted multiple times. nobody, including the cops after i sustained $4,000 worth of tooth and lip damage, really gave two shits about my assault (which was unprovoked).

  53. ah, is this where the troll and sockpuppet known as Societal Contract came from?

  54. Obviously you did not read it because it clearly states what exactly happened G.L. Piggy or worse, you decided her own testimony to the incident is ignorable because of your preconceived notions of what she went through.

  55. GL, the solution to “the cops don’t give a fuck about my assault” is not “therefore no one should give a fuck about any assaults,” but “let’s give a fuck about every assault.”

    Also, you’re an asshole.

  56. @Piggy: I’m going to assume you’re writing in good faith and will try to avoid doing anything that you would consider ‘foaming at the mouth’.

    -A woman says that she was assaulted sexually, and posts a picture of the wound.
    -First the wound is questioned, based on the bizarre accusation that she is a special effects expert and therefore probably a liar.
    -She, showing remarkable restraint (the questions were miles out of line), goes to the trouble of proving that her wounds are not makeup.
    -Next, you come along and say that even if the wounds are real, the nature of the assault is not necessarily sexual. You mention that you got beat up one time, and that there was no sexual motivation. You ask for additional details of the assault.

    The reason that your questions make people angry is that this woman has already answered WAY MORE THAN THE REASONABLE NUMBER OF QUESTIONS. When you got beat up on the street, did you have to prove to your friends that your wounds weren’t makeup? My guess is no.

    Perhaps you feel like you are asking reasonable questions about an issue that is entirely academic. It starts looking like conspiracy-theory stuff, though. Where is Obama’s birth certificate? Oh, it’s right there, well… where is the long form one? Oh, you have that one, too? Well, how do I know that this proves Obama was born in the US? I don’t trust birth certificates anyway — these documents prove nothing!

    After a while, it stops looking like you care whether Obama was born in the US (or whether a woman was sexually assaulted), and begins to look as if you are trying to bend reality to match a particular ideology.

    Instead, let’s just agree that, in this case, the fact that internet morons accused a woman of faking assault based on her Halloween costume is among the most disgusting things we’ve ever heard. Okay?

  57. Piggy, you get that ‘nearly raped’ doesn’t mean that the physical assault she suffered was so close to rape in nature that it was ‘nearly’ a rape, right? We’re not grading injuries on a how much like rape this is scale. This woman is not claiming that a bad facial injury is practically rape, she’s saying that in her actual experience of these real events, a man tried to rape her. Hence ‘nearly raped’ means ‘was almost raped’, which could be anything from ‘cornered by a rapist’ to ‘threatened with rape’ to ‘physically attacked’.

    You want to ask, ‘why she considered it rape’? Your questions are strange and repulsive.

  58. Piggy: That would go under ‘none of your fucking business.’ Unless she chooses to share it. And even if she did, you’d invent another reason to disbelieve her, and another hurdle for her to jump.

  59. And now that I’ve dug through the many links to this incident, I’ve come across the woman’s recounting of the story.

    Yeah, there doesn’t seem to be any good reason to doubt her.

    But I’ll say that this doesn’t make those guys on Reddit assholes; they’ve heard all too many false accusations and overblown rhetoric coming from feminists.

    In a regular assault, the victims hardly ever have a good reason (or a political reason) to lie since assault isn’t really condemned that strongly. But such is not the case with sexual assault and rape. Those accusations carry a lot of weight and should therefore be vetted more stringently.

    So I stand corrected on the facts of the case, but I think that it is improper to say that these Redditors are assholes for asking questions about an incident that this woman chose to report in a public online forum.

  60. Kathleen B:

    It is everyone’s fucking business if they choose it to be so. If they address a topic that a woman put out there for everyone to read then there is no good reason that they can’t ask these questions. Now, it gets really tricky if and when someone won’t accept all of the evidence and continues to state that this woman was lying even while her story holds up under scrutiny.

    This isn’t a court of law; it is the internet. This woman chose to post on the internet so kind of has to abide by Internet – tits or GTFO – rules. She didn’t have to post there, after all.

  61. Societal Contract

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (trigger warning), until more men are actually SEXUALLY assualted (as opposed to “just” assualted), there is always going to be this cognitive dissonance.

  62. tits or GTFO

    Those are not internet rules, those are asshole rules. And unless she chooses to post further, it’s no one’s fucking business.

  63. GL, go sit in the corner with DKM. You two are made for each other.

  64. “it is improper to say that these Redditors are assholes for asking questions about an incident that this woman chose to report in a public online forum.”

    Not assholes for being skeptical, assholes for being narrow minded. The attitude of most certainly was not called for.

  65. “tits or GTFO”

    Those are not the internet’s rules, those are the rules of sad little boys who may never see a tit otherwise.

  66. And honestly, I would have told the slavering commentariat to go fuck themselves sideways after the first demand – she has no obligation to feed MRAs or to post anything she doesn’t want to.

  67. Lee:

    “When you got beat up on the street, did you have to prove to your friends that your wounds weren’t makeup? My guess is no.”

    I don’t want to hijack the thread with my own incident, but a guy threw a bottle at my face and knocked out three of my teeth. The guy was in a truck with his buddies even as the cops showed up to the scene. They gave me a case number without arresting the dude. I called the police station about 6 times and was given the run-around on the case before I eventually stopped pursuing it.

    When I came home from the emergency room, my girlfriend jumps on my ass telling me that I shouldn’t have been out late and that this is what I get (I was a bystander at a friend’s birthday party and got hit by the bottle).

    I’m just saying that there is a little bit of a double standard here. Women get an outpouring of support and care when anything bad happens to them. And then when their injuries are questioned – are they lying or did they have a hand in causing the assault – their questioners are shouted down and called assholes. There needs to be more level-headed rhetoric from both sides.

  68. She didn’t have to post there, after all.

    which is, of course, one of the points of the harassment. It makes the forum a toxic place for women, and forces them to leave.

    Also the point of the “tits or GTFO” rules.

    But I’ll say that this doesn’t make those guys on Reddit assholes; they’ve heard all too many false accusations and overblown rhetoric coming from feminists.

    Sure it does, and not just because those “all too many” episodes result from anecdata or unsupported claims.

    Also, when they are simply unable to treat a fellow human being with kindness, just because the attack she endured does not fit their rigid ideological worldview. Also, she’s a woman, so EVERYBODY GET HER!

    They’re assholes.

  69. Societal Contract

    The poor girl probably had no idea that there were so many women-haters running loose on the internet. We just don’t experience that in day to day life to that extent. She could not imagine that there are so many hateful men out here who would not only be skeptical, but actually taunt, degrade, verbally and psychologically abuse her.

    Its just not something that a normal, healthy person who is mostly in day 2 day contact with other normal, healthy persons experience…… until they come in contact with the online “Manosphere”.

    That’s why I said, until these Manospherian assholes start getting sexually assaulted on the regular, there’s going to be this cognitive dissonance.

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