The Life Zone: If Saw and Human Centipede had a baby
The glow of pregnancy
Three young women wake up, confused and terrified, in a room that looks like a cross between a normal hospital room and the creepy underground lair of some mad scientist from a horror movie. A video screen flickers on and a creepy older man, looking a bit like Academy-award-nominee Robert Loggia, appears on it, telling the women that he’s their “jailer.” The women, you see, had all been getting abortions when their jailer’s shadowy accomplices kidnapped them and brought them to this strange prison, where they will be forced to live for the next seven months until they gave birth. “You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder,” announces a mysterious doctor. “Your babies will be given life just as God planned.”
This is the premise of a new horror film called The Life Zone, which recently had its world premiere at the prestigious, er, Hoboken International Film Festival, a festival that was, perhaps not coincidentally, founded and chaired by the film’s writer and producer, Kenneth del Vecchio. In case you think I’m making all this up, here’s the film’s trailer, which makes The Life Zone look a bit like an equal-parts mixture of Saw, Human Centipede, and The Handmaid’s Tale, with Robert Loggia in the role of Jigsaw/Dr. Heiter/The Commander:
Now, if you thought that something seemed really … off about that trailer, well, you’re not alone. For the film is not, as you might have assumed from my description, a warning against the fanatical misogyny of many in the anti-abortion movement.
No, the film – produced by a pro-life former judge, crime thriller author, and Republican New Jersey state senate candidate – is meant as pro-life propaganda. As the offical press release for the film’s premiere put it:
The film, which appears to cut right down the middle [of the abortion debate], examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist. Del Vecchio and the cast invite pro-lifers to come to this historic event.
During the months the three women are held in captivity, you see, they are exposed to a barrage of films and books intended to, er, educate them about abortion –what their attending obstetrician Dr. Wise describes as “an abortion think tank.” Two of the captive women do indeed convert to the pro-life side; apparently we in the audience are supposed to develop Stockholm Syndrome along with them. The third, as we see in the trailer, tries to induce a miscarriage, which doesn’t go quite as planned.
And this sets us up for the final twist, which I’m just going to go ahead and reveal: once all three women have given birth, Dr. Wise tells them she’s going to sew them all, mouth-to-vagina, into a Human Abortion-pede!
Actually no: the twist is that the “life zone” the three women in has actually been … purgatory! All three “captives,” you see, had died on the operating table while getting their abortions. (Apparently they went to the world’s worst abortion clinic, as first-trimester abortions don’t involve anything more surgically invasive than the insertion of a suction tube; the risk of death from a legal surgical abortion is 0.0006%, one in 160,000 cases, making the procedure many times safer than childbirth itself.) Their time in the “life zone” was a test: the two women who changed their minds were whisked up to heaven, while their miscarriage-attempting, stubbornly pro-choice companion is sent straight to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. Dr. Wise, despite being on the right side of the abortion question, also goes to hell for committing suicide. And, oh yeah, their jailer – Loggia – was Satan. Why Satan and a hell-bound doctor were the ones trying to convert the abortion ladies to the pro-life side I can’t tell you; del Vecchio’s theology is evidently more sophisticated than I am.
The real twist here? As Jersey Journal writer Alan Robb notes:
The Life Zone went viral across the internet [last] Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film’s trailer. … But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people – including the film’s cast and producers – attended this weekend’s screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn’t know how to interpret its twist ending.
It’s impossible to tell from the trailer if the film is bad in a so-bad-it’s-good way, or if it’s just plain awful. I will try to get hold of it when it hits video, and will report back with my results.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good horror film set in a creepy hospital, try renting Infection, a Japanese film from 2005. Or, if you’ve got a longer attention span, try Lars Von Trier’s supernatural soap opera The Kingdom, a darkly comic miniseries which takes place in what one might call, paraphrasing Bill Murray’s character in Tootsie, “one nutty hospital.” Both are conveniently available on Netflix instant watch, so you don’t even have to leave your pregnancy dungeon to see them.
EDITED: Added some info on the minimal dangers of abortion procedures.
Posted on June 8, 2011, in creepy, evil women, misogyny, patriarchy, reactionary bullshit, vaginas. Bookmark the permalink. 1,066 Comments.
No sorry I’m actually in Portland right now and heading to Cali in five hours. Hence the me coming in and posting now cause I plan on just not sleeping.
I see, ah well.
Also, short posts artificially inflate the post count. Go for the 1k gold!
*waves her copies of Deadwood* We can watch these!
For Halloween one year, I want to host a ‘come as your favorite Internet meme’ party.
I was Snakes on a Plane for Halloween one year.
I was a cat for halloween! But that’s a bit of a cheat cuz I’m normally a cat :3
short posts do help quite a bit.
I have committed the deadly sin of not dressing up for Halloween… *sigh* Though to be fair, its hard enough finding regular clothes at my size :P
Victoria, instead of a “we hunted the mammoth to feed you” sign, might I suggest a t-shirt?
Bee, cool. Chicago represent!!!!
Oh, and New England meetup people, let me know the details once you get it sorted out and I can plug the meetup in a post.
This goes for any MB meetups, of course,
Ooh AZ? So… Coyotes! xD Except soon they’ll be the Quebec City Coyotes >_>
(I am FAR too sportslike xD Me and Kirby are sports and anti-sports xD )
@Kirby get tinfoil and you can dress as Steel! :D
I didn’t last year, not enough going on in tucson (that i knew about). Maybe this year, we’ll see.
I did dress up as Javert from La Miserable once, though. Not that anyone knew (it was my costume from the production), but damn was the outfit cool all the same. I got asked if I was Nemo, which I think makes it cool enough :-p
I rarely ever dress up for All Hallow’s Eve so I usually just tell people I am a serial killer because “they looked just like everyone else!”
Hey David, you could check with Holly on this one, but I believe this is the plan: 6pm on Friday, June 17th at the Prudential Center Food Court in Boston (or Cambridge, can’t remember which).
So, one of my friends at school dresses up in something rediculously fancy each year. One year she was Sweeney Todd, another she was the Corpse Bride, with blue skin and everything. She plans and makes her costumes starting over the summer… Its kinda insane…
Victoria, instead of a “we hunted the mammoth to feed you” sign, might I suggest a t-shirt?
As soon as I find a job!!
I hate it as much as the next person when MRAL hijacks a thread to moan about the amazing privations suffered by an average-looking white middle-class college student, but I dare anyone here to tell me you didn’t get a good healthy laugh out of “short fingers” being listed as a deformity.
Also “morning height” and “evening height.”
And he’s the most hideously deformed person on earth, but we’d never find him in a crowd of average BU students. There’s like a glimmer of self-awareness when he says we’d be surprised at what he really looks like. No, dude, actually we wouldn’t be. We all know you’re a normal-looking kid who probably seems perfectly pleasant until he starts bitching about how God has fucked him in the ass by giving him short fingers that make women spit on him.
Ah well. I’ve given up on wanting to help MRAL, but have to admit this is more entertaining than NWO just going WHORES WHORES WHORES for page after page.
So – worst love scene (mainly because I was looking forward to seeing the hot naked people so much and they messed it up) – Underworld 2. I mean seriously, if the dude’s hips are at her belly button while simulating p in v sex…that does not work.
Oh, and I am in Melbourne. Australia. No meetups for me :(
Oh, and for best worst movies, may I recommend:
1. The Apple. Low-budget 1970s sci-fi musical based on the book of Genesis. Amazing in every respect. Contains the song lyric, “It’s a natural, natural, natural desire / To meet an actual, actual actual vampire.” And then you see a vampire for like a second and it’s never mentioned again.
2. Deep Blue Sea. Scientists create giant superintelligent sharks in plan with no obvious drawbacks. Contains the best Samuel L. Jackson moment in the history of film.
3. Wicker Man. The remake starring Nicholas Cage. It’s a documentary where they just filmed the inside of an MRA guy’s head. The first half is excruciatingly slow, but then you get the explanation about the secret island settled by goddess-worshipping female supremacists from Ireland, and soon Nick Cage is punching random women in the face, putting on a bear suit, and punching more women in the face, and it’s all good. Contains the line, “Killing me won’t bring back your goddamn honey!”
4. And Troll 2 gets much-deserved credit as the inspiration for the term “best worst movie,” but Troll (a completely different movie with no connection whatsoever to Troll 2) is entertainingly bad in its own right. Contains Julia Louis-Dreyfuss turning into a naked giggling pixie, which actually isn’t bad at all.
I like Deep Blue Sea! xD If only cuz the 2 ppl who survive are rly not who you thought would. xD I actually thought it was rly cool they killed her off at the end instead of doing the typical “male and female couple w/ sexual tension make it to the end together and survive and kiss” xD
Also yay! The night shift has arrived! :D (or the day shift if you’re in Australia)
@Shaenon I laughed at “my family is more alpha than most” xD
(Delurking to get the comments up) Hi Lyn! I’m in the same hemisphere as you!
We need some Asian or Oceanic trolls to spice up the night shift! xD
794 comments! :D
Yess. Yess.. Gooood.. Comments gathering in ever increasing numbers, threads growing longer than ever before! Soon, very soon, we will have enough power to dominate the internet! So arise, ye commenters from beneath the seas. Fly, ye commenters from mountains high! Gather to me, join your power with mine, and we will storm the very firewalls of this place, til not a blog nor twitter remains, and Manboobz towers over the empty wasteland of the net. March, you armies, march! Together, we who will be one thousand strong, we will rule… THE WORLD!
It’s not exactly day – 5.30 pm. Evening shift. And winter so getting pretty dark already. And hello lurker Magpie! If it weren’t cloudy, we could both look at the southern cross at the same time!
Oh god, I thought I was caught up on the comments but while I was reading you guys posted like a hundred more. I give up!!
But did anyone point out yet that today is the 45th anniversary of Griswold v. Connecticut? Yes, 45 years ago today it was affirmed that married people have the right to contraception! Only 45 years! 45 years ago my mom was 23 and married (not to my dad). Did she have access to birth control? Was her lack of kids with her first husband just luck? I don’t know. It’s mind boggling to me.
http://jezebel.com/5809552/happy-birthday-to-your-right-to-birth-control
MRAL,
You seem to be interacting in good faith, so I wanted to share a couple of thoughts. I feel that you may be getting hung up on some terminology that, admittedly, we feminists don’t always use clearly. Let;s take “privilege.”
The important thing to remember is that female privilege exists, AND male privilege exists. It it not an either/or choice. All a privilege is is some problem other people deal with that you don’t have. So let’s go back to Schwyzer. You’ve said you read articles where he outlines specific ways that women suffer, and you agree with him there. You also say that you disagree with him about male privilege. But (as I understand and use the words) if you agree that women suffer in certain ways men don’t, you necessarily believe in male privilege–the privilege not to suffer in those particular ways.
That doesn’t mean women don’t have privileges too! As a man, here are a few female privileges I wish I had:
–the option to take dance lessons without having my sexuality questioned
–the option to wear a skirt or pants
–not having to register for the draft
–(in my experience, don’t know the stats on this one) an easier time getting jobs in childcare, retail, and restaurants
–the ability to approach strangers without being seen as a threat
–the option to wear explicitly “sexual” clothes within my subculture
Now, because I am a feminist, I think that male privileges are far more common and more important than female ones. Which I why I’m more focused on policy changes for women’s problems than men’s (also because most of the “men’s problems” are not really solvable by legislation anyway). And if you disagree with that statement in most feminist spaces, be prepared for a tongue-lashing. But right now, all I want you to do is acknowledge that male privilege exists, and female privilege exists, and talking about one or the other doesn’t automatically make you misguided.
Would an all-powerful manboobz interwebs really be in the form of a tower? Bit phallic. I suppose that’s ok though – we’d be totally ironic about it.
Well, I suppose we could convert it to a giant amphitheater… would that be more apropos? :P
Ooh – maybe we could have both an amphitheater AND a tower…but we would neglect the tower and let vines grow all over it so that the MRA trolls could give themselves away by complaining about yonic privilege…and we could throw them out into the desert of the abandoned interwebs with no food or water (read: anyone to rant at about their crap). We would then periodically make forays out into the desert to ensure none of the MRAs set up communities together. Zombie would be particularly helpful!
Oh, and re: therapy:
I understand that you feel that your problems are “immutable,” but I don’t agree that this means therapy can’t help. I would go so far as to say the opposite. Therapy EXISTS specifically to help people with immutable problems. A lot of people have this idea that “therapy” is something that’s done to you, that fixes something in you that’s broken. They get that impression from the way celebrity rehab is discussed and because people talk about medication and therapy in the same sentence even though they’re very different.
Actually, if your problems are “mutable” you usually don’t need therapy. If your problem is that you have an infection, you get a treatment, not a therapy. If your problem is being a little overweight, you work out more, which isn’t really a “therapy.” If your problem is not having enough money, you get a job.
If it makes you feel better about it, I encourage you to replace the word “therapy” with the word “training.” Because that’s all therapy is, is training you to work around the problems that you have. And I think you’d agree that you could benefit from training. I think you’re kind of into the Pickup Artist stuff, right? Well a Pickup Artists is basically a therapist. What therapists do is ask you to think about how you approach people, how you interact with them, and how you think about them, and help you find new ways that are more effective than the old ones. The only difference between Mystery and a Cognitive Therapist is that the therapist knows science. You can seriously ask either of them to help you pick up chicks.
Some people need therapy because of a problem with their mind, like depression. That can sort of be “fixed” but mostly it can be lived with. Even if you stop feeling down, you spend your whole life carefully monitoring your thoughts. Some people need therapy because they broke their leg. They might have “physical therapy” where they learn how to walk with an injured leg, and they might have talk therapy where they learn how to feel good about themselves and how to plan their new schedules. And some people need therapy because of a problem with the body they were born with. Even if it’s really true that all your problems come from being short and deformed and male? A therapist can help you live with that and work around it, just like depression or a broken leg.
Give it a try.
‘…a rather bad case of OCD (the ever-present horrifying intrusive images kind, not the hand-washing kind) . ‘ Oh, so THAT’s what it is when I have recurring horrifying images! Dammit, add it to the list.
I’m in Madison, WI. I lost my job last October and have had two jobs FAIL since then (being verbally abused, having half my tips stolen, and being fired with NO REASON GIVEN, wow.). I can’t find another- not for not trying, believe me! Being over 30 in Madison- unless you are an ‘academic’- is really isolating. Madison in general is elitist an cliquey. I am losing my apartment at the end on July. I have no other options but to move in with a guy I’ve been sleeping with. I’m sure this is a bad idea. Should I live in a car again? Or, in a ditch with a truck topper on it and a futon in the bottom? Am I safe? I ask that every day. I’ve asked the guy this, too. ‘Am I safe here?’ My rich, ‘Alpha’ born-again Xtian family disowned me, so I have NO support system. I am 12 credits from a bachelors’ I’ll never get since I defaulted on my loans (uber-rich mom has $$ to pay them, but won’t- my 3 sisters can go to Italy and ‘study’, though, that’s fine). I struggle with ADHD, PTSD (yep, abuse and rapes!), depression, alcoholism, fibromyalgia, and, perhaps, some OCD! Who knew. I don’t see any hope for me to get a leg up. Maybe a kindly millionaire will leave me her fortune and her stable of unicorns that shit primo hash! Yeah… sure. I’d like some cheese with my whine. At least I’m white, and not a Fat Chick, right? /s
MRAL, I’d trade places with you in a New York minute. Fuck you. I’m gonna go cry now. Good night.
More Advice for the MRAL
1: Cowboy boots can frequently add 1-2 inches, and they aren’t “humiliating” in the way that elevator shoes might be.
2: I find it really curious that you’d be unwilling to order elevator shows online. Most people consider online order the most discreet way to get their hands on something. If you order them, I’m pretty sure they will come in a box, and I’m pretty sure your form’s mailroom staff will not open the box. The box will almost certainly not say on it what it contains. And if your school has 15,000 undergrads, the staff and random parents probably aren’t spending their time rifling through your mail and gossiping about it. If they did find out they’d probably assume it was for a play or something.
3: Seriously, if you’re that terrified of being judged for your footwear purchases, I have some followup questions. Everybody has a few things that really tweak them, but of you have that kind of anxiety often? If you feel more concerned than you want to be about the opinions of random strangers, there are a variety of ways to change that.
Other ways to distract attention from your eye: non-prescription eyeglasses, hats, fancy shirts.
Also: If there’s a Chicago meetup, I am so in. I grew up in Boston but I study at the U of C
*big supportive hugs to Julia* ): I’m so sorry. Is there anything any of us can do to help? :\ I dunno if anybody would feel comfortable doing it, or even have the money or means to… but maybe we could set up a paypal account or something? :| And everybody can donate nething they can? I have a few comms I know I could actually ask if they could chip in nething too :\ I mean I dun have much money atm at all, but I want to help… I’m trying to think if I know anyone in that area who might be willing to give you a couch to crash on until you can get back on your feet… :\
Julia, that’s awful–seconding Ami with the hugs, is there anything we can do to help?!?
And Lyn and Magpie–I’m in SE Asia, maybe we could do an Australasian thing? Anyone in or around Austin? I’ll be there for most of July.
Shaenon, The Wicker Man…it burns. That was a truly horrifying movie and not in a good way. Your description is right on…I hadn’t heard of MRAs when I watched it, but it’s totally like being in one of their heads. What was especially disappointing is that the original was actually pretty good (if dated).
Julia, so sorry!
Shaenon, I second The Apple. Everyone should see it. A local oddball theater company does live readings of bad movies, and did The Apple last summer (and will reprise it this summer). Everyone in the audience got BIM marks!
Still have to see the Nic Cage Wicker Man (have just seen bits on Youtube — the bees!). The original is actually a great creepy film.
@Julia- I want to help. Email me at this screen name on AOHell I should be able to shunt a little cash your way. (Lurker previously known as Saoba)
Nwo & MR Al, hate to burst your wee bubble of MRM rubbish – my very decidedly NOT alpha spousal unit listened to me read from your posts on the road on our spontaneous romantic getaway. Aside from laughing so hard he nearly crashed us into a bridge abutment he was completely disinclined to rise up, throw off the chains my wiles had draped him in three decades ago and Go His Own Way.
I thought it might be a sign of the evil hive mind control thing. He says it’s more that he is happy and loved and comfortable, with professional success and an active /shared social life.
MRAL – if you have not already done so, read the works of Roissy/Citizen Renegade at the first available opportunity.
If you have already done so, do so again.
His bizarre, paranoid, borderline-psychotic obsessions are your bizarre, paranoid, borderline-psychotic obsessions. His rationalisation and basic math skills are as appalling as your own. He is also very nearly as obsessed with the concept of the giant all-conquering alpha dick as you are.
Furthermore, his commenters are utterly batshit insane.
In his comments section, you will finally feel that you have found your spiritual home.
You don’t need to thank me for this advice. I just like the idea of your own cerebral hamster speeding up to 100mph then spontaneously combusting as you find yourself surrounded by DOZENS and DOZENS of people who are exactly the same as your unique special snowflake of a whiny little self. Dollars to doughnuts you’ll find them all pathetic, deluded and despicable. It’s a lot easier to see this sort of thing when you’re looking at other people as opposed to yourself.
What are you waiting for, man? Get to Citizen Renegade’s site, right now…
Sweet crunchy Jesus!! 809 comments? I only read enough to know that MRAL’s flounce didn’t last. D’oh. Knew it wouldn’t. Not sure how many hours I’ve been away (traveling and not sleeping will do that to you, also f-ing time zones!! how do they work???) but pretty sure it hasn’t been more than a few days.
Can’t even flounce for a week? Someone tell me it ain’t so.
I hate to say it, but I think I like the movie’s twist ending. It’s just enough of a headfuck (not quite like 6th Sense and less cliche than “it was all a dream”). Too bad it’s propaganda. If it were something like … three people died baking cookies and only those who could be converted to using butter instead of margarine would go to heaven, I would be a lot happier. You know, something less finger-waggy and creepy religious.
8:02 Eastern Daylight Time. 811 comments.
Looks like it’s up to me.
Everyone knows that wealthy old white men are the most oppressed group in America. People hate them because they are the most productive ethnic group, and they produce all the wealth in this country. As a non-wealthy non-old white man, I worship at their feet and dedicate my life to defending them from the liberal fascist hordes. They will recognize my valuable service and give me a fellowship at a right-wing think tank, and then I will be on track to join their ranks after I age a few decades. I come to this fymynyst blog and tell you all the true truth about the evil liberals as an act of fealty to the Producer Class.
Also, all fymynysts hate men and want us to lose the War on Terror so the Taliban will take over America and impose Shania Law.
Also too, as a right-wing troll I have both the right and the obligation to post several comments in a row.
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young.
that 1% of men getting sex from 70% of women figure has got to be the funniest “statistic” I’ve seen here yet. I’d love to see the citation on that, although I’m guessing MRAL just pulled it out of his ass. And If that’s the case, I’m not interested.
I’m in the midwest. I’m in Urbana, so just an easy train ride away from Chicago. And I’ll have a free crash pad there soon.
You liberals with all your talk of income inequality don’t understand that the real problem is booty inequality. As long as the alpha males own a disproportionate percentage of America’s nooky this will never be a free country.
You guys were talking Chicago meetup?! I used to live out in DeKalb, but I’m up in Madison right now. I’m so late to the party. damn my bedtime being 10pm.
lol. don’t forgot the spitting.
David, or any other Midwest folks, let me know if anyone is planning to go to Summerfest.
I pretty much cancel my life and spend eleven days watching has-been bands in the sun and drinking beer. I will be the zombie in the 100,000 people.
And o yea, LOTS of spitting.
MRAL, another advantage of doing stand-up is that you don’t have to do your own spit-takes — your audience will do it for you.
Off-topic: playable guitar on Google.
Julia – that’s awful. I hope things turn around for you soon. Your family sound like assholes. I know there are people who show blatant favouritism like that (refusing to help one child financially even in sore straits but supporting another), but it always amazes me when I hear about it
Ami and spear, I mostly lurk, but I’m in for a Toronto Manboobz meetup!
Wow–this thread really turned into the “octagon flame cage match of uber doom!” (Ami, you’re a fantastic writer xD) And you understand your way around a metaphor unlike SOME mrals.
Ami: My mother had an illegal abortion several years before I was born because she was supporting my father through his doctoral program (YEP, working, FULL TIME, paying for a MAN to get a degree, which happened a lot in the 50s). She had just decided to leave him when she found she was pregnant with me. It was….weird finding that out (after the divorce which came after dad ran away with grad student)
I don’t have rights to spout about her life and what was and what might have been–I’ve often thought her life would have been much better if she’d had another abortion. But she made it a fantastic life, and she’s 83, and a couple of years ago, she moved her 91 year old LOVER in, and boy do they have a great life. It’s fantastic.
p.s. I live in Texas! But I may be in Boston when Pop Culture has its conference there (next year I think)
HIPPODAMEIA:
“Don’t be the twisted little fucker who has to make every conversation about himself. No-one cares about you.”
TOO LATE!
And yet people continue to interact with him! And apparently this is the best place he has (online) to go (of course when he said he couldn’t say what he does in real life without being laughed at, I sneered–online interaction is real, and he is being laughed at, but, oh, well. He clearly doesn’t think any of the rest of us are real).
So MRAL, how’d you fancy being 55, nearly 56, queer, fat, tattooed, and an English professor in rural Texas living with seven cats, two dogs, in a lifelong partnership with a woman?
I personally don’t think you’ve got the balls to live the lives many of us on this thread have lived and survived for twice as long or more than you’ve been alive. And I say that…metaphorically.
Will be at work on the road a lot today, people, but hope to see another 800 or so comments when I return!
A meetup? Oh, that’d be fun. A bunch of smug nerds reading MRA lines to each other and snorting derisively.
Hey, I got a question about this abortion/anti-abortion craze – just how many abortions have you feminists had, or are planning to have, that this is such a huge, hysteria-inducing issue?
I am so sick of MRAL bitching about the tragedy of being short while simultaneously disparaging “fat chicks” on the ground that one’s weight can be altered while height can’t. MRAL, you actually CAN increase your height if you want. On the possibility that a really disturbed person may be reading this and actually consider doing this, I won’t provide a link, but there IS a cosmetic surgery clinic in Eastern Europe (where regulations of cosmetic surgery are a bit more relaxed than here) that specializes in increasing patient’s height. They’ve been around for at least 20 years now. The procedure involves cutting into the patient’s legs and attaching extendable hardware to his bones, with external mechanical controls. Afterwards, the screws are turned a tiny little bit every day, gradually lengthening the hardware and forcing the body to grow more bone tissue. So not only do you get taller, you get longer legs. Sweet!
Of course, it takes about 10 months to grow a mere 3 inches. And it’s excruciatingly painful every minute of every day. And risky as hell. And the potential side effects and complications are nightmarish. And, because you have to get treatment every day and be closely monitored, you have to basically live at the clinic or at least nearby. But it isn’t really any more extreme than what a “fat chick” would have to do to go down 10 dress sizes and stay that way. So maybe now we have the necessary justification to bash short men for being such eyesores and not doing enough to make themselves look more presentable.
Yeah, I actually have been looking into that procedure, Amused, as I said above. But it’s very difficult to do discreetly, obviously, certainly not until I’m 21.
Oh, and sure, to whoever above, I recognize that male privilege exists. I think female privilege is more common though.
So, the real problem is not that it’s extremely risky and hideously painful. The real problem is that someone might find out you did it.
I’m telling you, MRAL, stand-up comedy is your true calling.
I see your act as being sort of a cross between Rodney Dangerfield and Don Rickels. First you spend five minutes bitching and moaning about how you can’t get any respect due to your slightly-below-average height and slightly skeevy eye, then you insult the audience for laughing.
I live about an hour south of DC, so I’ll definitely consider any meet-ups for that area. My therapist and family are encouraging me to get out of the house more.
MRAL – as you always discuss the way you look, I have grown quite curious. You mentioned in a previous post that in a different post you posted (or linked to one). Is this true? Do you remember what thread it was on or can you post another? Sorry, maybe I am way off base, just curious since you are always talking about your eye.
Also, I grew up with a guy who was short and frequently made fun of for his height. During our teen years, his doctor actually prescribed a certain kind of steroids to help him gain a couple of extra inches. I’m not sure if it worked (I mean, we were growing during that time anyway), and I’m not sure if this is only something available during adolescence to just amp up the normal growing, but it may be worth looking into before you do the more extreme procedure.
Tofu – are you Urbana, Iowa? I grew up close to there, although I have since moved to Kansas. Not sure I would make a Chicago meet up, but I’ll try!
Oh are we talking meetups? SF Bay area in da house!!
It’s not that risky if done properly, with medical attention. As for pain, I have a ridiculously high pain threshold (part of being hardened by years of abuse). Therefore, indeed, the biggest problm is the length of time and the fact that someone may find out.
Here’s an information center for those interested: http://www.makemetaller.org/
DC Meetup? I’m in DC, AND I can bake brownies!
Oh, and MRAL – I agree with those who have said that you should talk to a professional. Therapy is made to help people deal with those issues they cannot change! Working to accept what you see as your flaws can immensly improve your life! Personally, I am all for people owning and rocking what makes them weird!
(part of being hardened by years of abuse).
Noted without comment.
Rachel, I posted a pic of my eye in an earlier thread…. I don’t think I have the picture anymore though, I’ll look when I get home (I’m in the library right now, doing some work).