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douchebaggery I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny Uncategorized

>Can’t cook, can’t clean. What can you do?

>

Silly woman, that’s not how to wash a baby!

It was a question that baffled even the brilliant Dr. Freud: “What do women want?” Freud died without ever knowing the answer to this crucial question, but luckily we won’t have to. Because douchebag blogger MarkyMark has figured it out. What do women want? They want to not get fat.

Did you ever notice how women will fret all the time about whether or not they look fat, even if they don’t?  Did you ever wonder why?

I have a theory as to why women go crazy over gaining weight: their sex appeal is ALL they have.  Modern women, in their heart of hearts, know that they have nothing else to offer a man.  They cannot cook; shoot, some women can’t even boil water!  They cannot clean.  They cannot offer good companionship, because they’re not good companions; if anything, they’re man hating battle axes who would curse a man by being with him.  Yeah, I said it!  The modern woman curses a man by being with him!  The modern trollop, er woman, offers NOTHING to a man but her sex appeal, and that’s why she freaks out over any weight gain.  For me, it’s as simple as that…

Can’t cook, can’t clean. Damn. Now I’ve got this Adam Ant song stuck in my head:

If you enjoyed this post, would you kindly* use the “Share This” or one of the other buttons below to share it on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or wherever else you want. I appreciate it.

*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

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Nars
9 years ago

>Because only modern women have worried about what they look like. Ok. Sure.

briget
9 years ago

>hm… everyone I know calls me the domestic diva and begs for me to cook for them. Methinks there's something wrong here…

booboonation
9 years ago

>Jesus, this "marky mark" character is actually respected in that lunatic asylum of a community, so good call posting this drivel. They can't claim it's some innocuous comment mostly ignored on a dead thread on a duty forum. I'm sorry, but this person is a complete moron. I am aware I am offering an argument with no substance at this time. But seriously… does anyone even need to argue with this nonsense? How many other threads can you find these creeps insulting fat women?

booboonation
9 years ago

>*dusty forum (damn, I'm going back to bed)

Prosey
9 years ago

>It's no wonder boys like him/them are still single…lol

Lady Victoria von Syrus

>So men are too dumb to realize that they are being cursed by the presence of a woman?How misandrist.

Feyline
9 years ago

>Wow, what idiots. I know the stupid 'fat is automatically unsexy' meme is sadly prevalent, but this dude has been brainwashed to the extreme.

avpd0nmmng
9 years ago

>Marky Mark says on his blog that he will be 49 in two weeks. I thought he was younger. He must be very frustrated because he cannot get laid.

DarkSideCat
9 years ago

>And here I thought some women obsessed about getting fat because large portions of our society thought that fat people are disgusting/sexually unappealing and that being a sex object is all that a woman is good for and therefore spend huge amounts of time attacking women's bodies and body image.

Bee
Bee
9 years ago

>This is one of the best things about MRAs. If they're not complaining about how all women are fat and disgusting, it's because they're too busy complaining about how all women are not-fat and disgusting.It's like women shouldn't even give a shit what they think, kind of.

Cold
9 years ago

>Marky Mark says on his blog that he will be 49 in two weeks. I thought he was younger. He must be very frustrated because he cannot get laid.A man's sex drive beings to drop in his 40s, and MarkyMark has made it pretty clear that he's quite happy without getting laid. Sorry to burst your bubble there.

avpd0nmmng
9 years ago

>A man's sex drive begins to drop in his 40s if he had a normal sex life, otherwise he will still be obsessed by what he cannot get.And here is a posting were Marky Mark explain why he failed to find a woman on E-Harmony. And it explains, why at 49, he is still alone.

Elizabeth
9 years ago

>Wow…that guy has issues.

Valerie
9 years ago

>@avpd0nmmngOMG, I just read that post about MM's E-Harmony experience and laughed my ass off. There are so many things wrong with this guy I can't even begin to explain but thank you so much for pointing that out. I've been doing laundry and cleaning all day and I really needed some comic relief. His post above was good, but getting into the nitty gritty of why oh why E-Harmony didn't work out for him is comic gold. His poor brother-in-law that was trying to help him. He must of have felt like beating his head against a wall. Oh, and I didn't wear a dress like the lady above is wearing while I did my laundry so for sure I'm an AW bitch. Yay me!

kysokisaen
9 years ago

>Yeesh, that E-Harmony story is cringeworthy. You know, it's really not hard to frame an unconditional love of motorcycles as a good thing. "Looking for a lady who shares my unconditional love of motorcycles" instead of "Suck it, hypothetical bitch" might be a good start.I recently started looking into online dating myself and of course E-Harmony is out of the question, as are most places that charge. I learned that there is a dating service for absolutely everyone: straights, gays, fat people, people who want the sugardaddy style relationship, self-professed ugly people, people suffering from any of the major STDs, marijuana enthusiasts, geeks, gamers, and of course, thinly disguised mail-order bride services (warning! pricey!). I'm sure if he were really interested in dating, he could find a site more to his tastes than E-Harmony. Hell, even Sean Hannity had a dating site for awhile, it might even still be active.

Elizabeth
9 years ago

>Or you could ask one of these MRA types to set you up with someone. *watches the puff of dust that was Kysokisaen*

Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

>Don't you "perfect princesses" get it? He's a fantastic catch! He says so right in his post! You're all just too deluded to see it. I mean, a guy who refers to women as "skanks" is a guy to bring home to mother, right? I tell you, American women…Ew…I need a shower now.

shaenon
9 years ago

>"The modern woman curses a man by being with him!"This would also make a good T-shirt. So many illustration possibilities.

Elizabeth
9 years ago

>*makes some bacon for CB* It is okay, he would not last five seconds with my mother.

shaenon
9 years ago

>A man's sex drive beings to drop in his 40s, and MarkyMark has made it pretty clear that he's quite happy without getting laid.I believe this guy is a 50-year-old virgin because he chooses not to have sex exactly as much as I believe you get kicked off juries because of your phenomenal intellect.

David Futrelle
9 years ago

>Oh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold! I may have to do a post on this.

shaenon
9 years ago

>Oh, that eHarmony post… I managed to keep from laughing out loud until the very last paragraph ("I'm a hell of a catch!"), and then of course I did, and my husband asked why I was laughing, and then I had to read the whole thing out loud. It's perfect. It's like a tiny shimmering jewel, every flawless crystalline facet of which is the word "skank."But… I'm confused. I thought one of the things wrong with women was that we all go crazy for bad boys on motorcycles who don't treat us well. Now we're at fault for not going out with a guy on a motorcycle who constantly insults us? We just can't do anything right, can we?And oh, that poor, poor woman who went on the one date with him. Oh dear.

thevagrantsvoice
9 years ago

>Oh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold!Isn't he the one who took a story from the Onion completely seriously a while back?

MissPrism
9 years ago

>That piece on eHarmony is indeed hilarious! I bet he's the first to complain about "leeches", too, after summarily rejecting any woman who indicates she's financially independent or career-minded. It's like Bee said above: care about your appearance? Contemptible! Don't care? Worse!I wish he'd posted the actual profile, because I'm imagining "WANTED: someone to despise and sneer at" and the truth is probably a lot funnier.

Pam
Pam
9 years ago

>Isn't he the one who took a story from the Onion completely seriously a while back?YepOh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold! I may have to do a post on this.Please do!

wytchfinde555
9 years ago

>avpd0nmmng said… "Marky Mark says on his blog that he will be 49 in two weeks. I thought he was younger. He must be very frustrated because he cannot get laid."The shaming language never ceases. I though you feminists were above that. And why is it all about getting laid? Is that the most important thing to you, or do you agree that women (largely) are only good for that one thing?

kysokisaen
9 years ago

>Oh, that's a different Onion article, I thought he was the guy who was infuriated over the "abortion party" that the Onion told him about. This is pretty good too, though 🙂

Kave
9 years ago

>wytchThere is a difference between shaming and making fun of someone. If you don't want to be made fun of don't be a dufus. His whole site is about shaming women….. but you can't see that. Why?

wytchfinde555
9 years ago

>@KaveTroll.

Cold
9 years ago

>I believe this guy is a 50-year-old virgin because he chooses not to have sex exactly as much as I believe you get kicked off juries because of your phenomenal intellect.Where was it established that MarkyMark is a virgin? Citation needed here.I think the thought that any heterosexual man could be happy without a woman causes you emotional discomfort, and for that reason you have to convince yourself that anyone who claims such happiness is lying. That's my bit of computer chair psychology for the day.Oh, and if you actually bothered reading what I write instead of lazily skimming it, you would know that I was never kicked off a jury. I went for jury SELECTION, and was not chosen despite demonstrating myself to be an intelligent and competent candidate. I can't be kicked off a jury if I was never chosen to be on one.

Elizabeth
9 years ago

>Cold-your not being picked had little to do with your so called "superior" intelligence and more do with things like where you were in the jury pool and/or the answers you gave to one or more of the questions indicated a bias towards one side or another. Which is why they ask things like "Have you ever been involved, in any court, in a criminal matter that concerned yourself, any member of your family, or a close friend either as a defendant, a witness, or a victim?"(1) Now back to laughing at MarkyMark (really, what man goes by that name at his age?)(1)Benchbook for Federal Judges P. 92

Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

>I think the thought that any heterosexual man could be happy without a woman causes you emotional discomfort, and for that reason you have to convince yourself that anyone who claims such happiness is lying. That's my bit of computer chair psychology for the day.Except that he doesn't really seem that happy. People who are happy with their relationships with the opposite sex don't usually devote an entire blog to complaining about them. If he really is happy, then good for him, but I'm not really convinced based on what I've seen (admittedly a small part of his overall work). Just sayin'.

Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

>@wytch:@KaveTroll. Oh snap! Kave, you just got told! Mmm hmm.

rachel-swirsky
9 years ago

>In the MarkyMark article, I really like how he's not materialistic when he says his motorcycles are really important to him, but the prospective date is way too materialistic for saying she likes nice cars.

laura-magic
9 years ago

>"I believe this guy is a 50-year-old virgin because he chooses not to have sex exactly as much as I believe you get kicked off juries because of your phenomenal intellect."awesome comment! can't stop laughing.

laura-magic
9 years ago

>"I think the thought that any heterosexual man could be happy without a woman causes you emotional discomfort, and for that reason you have to convince yourself that anyone who claims such happiness is lying."Dude, you're obviously lying. I'd love to show you what your dogma looks like through the rest of the world's eyes, but I can't. Suffice it to say, you guys are really hung up on this shit.Being single sucks sometimes but I NEVER thought treating 'men' as some crazy exotic species from another planet and slagging them off all the time was the answer. You're so determined to segregate yourself, to prove your superiority, that you just make up wild lies and exaggerations about the differences between 'men' and 'women'. 'Going your own way' apparently means lingering around feminist websites, talking about women, complaining over women, masturbating over women, feeling guilty about masturbating over women, getting angry about women… If any of you were happy about being single you'd act fucking happy. When I was single I went out with my male and female friends and we all had a good time. My world seems so different to yours, it's crazy.I hope you find a lady or man who makes you change your mind. Happy Valentine's!

Captain Awkward
9 years ago

>I think I sprained something from laughing. I love that "Natasha" is deluded – "…some of the women were deluded. For example (and I don't know HOW I got matched with this woman in the first place!), this woman, Natasha, was listed amongst my matches. She was late 20s-early 30s I think. Her pic was fine; she was attractive. This begs the question: why did she have to be on E-harmony to begin with?"I don't know, GUY WHO IS ALSO ON E-HARMONY. And I'm sure she doesn't know how she got matched with a 50-year-old guy who loves only motorcycles, either. I also love the thesis that he, AS A MAN, answers questions honestly but women don't answer them honestly…meaning that he either doesn't get matched with a lot of people or that when he writes they don't write back: "Many of my matches were closed immediately; either they closed out the match, or I did." Seems pretty honest to me, ie, "I'm honest about not wanting to contact you."

David Futrelle
9 years ago

>Hey, Captain Awkward, who has an awesome blog by the way, I imagine the poor women looking at their matches, seeing Marky among them, furiously clicking "close match" again and again and again, slamming their laptops shut, fleeing the room, and taking a very long shower.

Cold
9 years ago

>Dude, you're obviously lying.Lying about what I think? Ok you got me there, I was actually thinking about how sad and empty my life is without a feminist woman to whom I can be a slave and contemplating the most efficient way to end this miserable existence.If any of you were happy about being single you'd act fucking happy.Just because you might imagine me furiously typing this in a dingy room in my mother's basement while wearing a dirty undershirt with a bare lightbulb above my head doesn't make it true. I'm actually quite happily enjoying my lunch break as I sip some delicious Pepsi and hear Geddy Lee's helium-tinged voice in my ears as I have a good chuckle at your self-serving speculations. Unfortunately said lunch break is just about over, so I must bid you adieu and gracefully close my netbook.

DarkSideCat
9 years ago

>@Elizabeth "Now back to laughing at MarkyMark (really, what man goes by that name at his age?)" Not even the real Marky Mark. Mark Wahlberg does his best to pretend like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eSN8Cwit_s never happened.

LexieDi
9 years ago

>I'd just like to say that I'm fat and do not give a flying how-do-you-do about gaining weight. Many women do think about it. It's their right to. I wished they didn't because (revelation of revelations) who cares? I'll stay jiggly, thanks. <3

Elizabeth
9 years ago

>I know and Mark Wahlberg is actually a good actor in my never humble opinion.

Katz
9 years ago

>Marky Mark: is the guy who is a devout rapture-believing fundamentalist Christian yet e-screams obscenities at female posters and is firm in his belief that all women are filthy, disease-ridden skanks. Yet, was obsessed with a female co-worker who had no interest in dating him, which he simply could not believe! After all, she was a single mother so how dare she be picky! He concluded that she was a lesbian, as he saw her being "friendly" with another female co-worker. Don't want to date Marky Mark? You lezzbo!Marky admitted he hadn't had a date in over 5 years and he certainly did not sound like a happy bachelor or contented MGTOW upon reporting this fact. One sour apple is Marky!Yes, David, read thru some of the Marky archives; he's worth a post; quite a character!

Kave
9 years ago

>Mra's sure have really long lunchbreaks.

shaenon
9 years ago

>Cold, trust me, I agree that MarkyMark should not be in a heterosexual relationship. With all due respect to your jury-defying intellect, your mind cannot begin to comprehend the depth of my conviction that MarkyMark should not be in a heterosexual relationship.However, I am jealous of your Pepsi.Seriously, though, is this guy really a respected blogger in MGTOW circles? I mean, it's good that he's found friends, but he's really, really obviously not any kind of lifestyle guru, to the same degree that Charles Manson was really, really obviously not Jesus.

laura-magic
9 years ago

>"I was actually thinking about how sad and empty my life is without a feminist woman to whom I can be a slave"Kinky! I'm jealous of your super-extended lunchbreaks too.Hope you find that whip-crackin' 'feminist' woman to err…not suck your dick and steal or your money or something.Anyway, I'm sure you THINK all this shit about women, what makes me curious are the general activites of 'men going their own way' when all they ever do is talk about women and how much their exes sucked.I'd rather they did go their own fucking way, then I wouldn't have to hear their whining.

wytchfinde555
9 years ago

>"Oh snap! Kave, you just got told! Mmm hmm."—CBYou're following close in his shadow. Good show, court jester.

captainawkward.com
9 years ago

>While "Remember how you joined E-Harmony in order to meet women after telling everyone how much you completely hated women, and then were shocked that you couldn't meet women? (P.S. They can probably tell that you hate them)" is a good reason for mocking – in fact, it BEGS for mocking (See also "Remember how you told everyone you were Going Your Own Way but then spent all your time on websites entirely devoted to obsessing about women and how to get laid by women without actually interacting with them?") – I tend to dislike the "Hahahaha _____ can't get laid!" as a general criticism of MRAs/MGTOWs. It's the equivalent of "You are just saying you want to vote because you are an ugly girl who can't find a husband," aka a cheap shot that is beside the point.I can't believe I just kind of agreed with Coldfire (who, I am curious to know – are you the same Coldfire who used to post at/moderate the Straight Dope or just another Rush-loving dude?). Not everyone is looking for sexy companionship, and it seems like a solid life choice for people who have entirely given up on the opposite sex to stay out of the dating pool.

Cold
9 years ago

>Kinky! I'm jealous of your super-extended lunchbreaks too.Super-extended? Oh I see, you saw how that post had a time-stamp of 2:50pm and you're apparently a complete ignoramus who doesn't know about timezones.Anyway, I'm sure you THINK all this shit about women, what makes me curious are the general activites of 'men going their own way' when all they ever do is talk about women and how much their exes sucked.Just because all of David's posts about us link to that kind of content doesn't mean that's all we do, but I can see how your demonstrably feeble mind would come to that conclusion.

David Futrelle
9 years ago

>Capt. Awkward, I thoroughly agree. Cold: No, you guys don't talk only about evil women, evil feminists, and evil manginas, but that does seem to be MOSTLY what you guys talk about.Here are the most popular sub-forums on NiceGuy's MGTOW forum:NiceGuy's SiteThe original, plain, vanilla forum of the NiceGuy's community * 7,056 Topics * 83,417 Replies Feminists, Manginas, & Sexist Double StandardsPost here about all the double standards that Ameriskanks are hopelessly addicted to!* 9,557 Topics * 126,899 RepliesGirls Gone Wild!Tales of Bad Girls & Attention Whores * 4,189 Topics * 35,841 RepliesAnd now…For all those topics you can't find a place for…. * 4,405 Topics * 32,882 Replies