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Recently, “game” guru Roissy offered his readers a list of “Cheap And Easy Ways To Raise Your Value To A Girl.” Most were fairly standard pick up artist tricks of the “act like an aloof jerk and she’ll worship you” variety. According to Roissy, though, these little tricks will miraculously enable guys
to date women one to three points higher than you could be expected to get by societal standards. Do these to a girlfriend and you will be a god to her. A god among penii.
A few examples:
Don’t call back right away. Done properly, you will start to hear girls say things like “I didn’t hear back from you. You were making me nervous!”
Don’t live together. It’s much harder to project mystery living under the same roof, watching each other fold laundry every week. (Not to mention side action will be more difficult to coordinate.)
Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)
Muse wistfully about past lovers.Never do her a favor before you’ve had sex with her.
Never laugh at her jokes, even when they’re funny. If you must, chuckle under your breath.
When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it’s your second home.
Bo-ring. These tricks may have worked on women once upon a time, but today’s women are far too sophisticated to fall for these tired old ruses . If you really want to score with the hot babes of today, you’ve got to kick your game up a notch — or three. To help, I have come up with some “New and Improved Cheap And Easy Ways To Raise Your Value To A Girl.”
Wear a banana peel on your head like a hat. This will help to create an aura of “mystery” around yourself, as well as a lovely banana-y scent that will follow you everywhere.
Poke her nose playfully after sex and say, in a cheerful voice, “Hitler was right about you!” She will ponder this one for days.
Never laugh at her jokes. Instead, fall to the floor and begin singing “Rock Me Amadeus.”
Go out on “dates” with imaginary people. Introduce her to these people, and slyly suggest a “threesome.” (Or a “foursome,” if you are dating two imaginary people at the same time.)
Muse wistfully about butter.
Don’t buy her gifts. Instead, sneak clumps of dirt into her lingerie drawer.
Never call her back right away. Instead, hide under her bed and make low moaning sounds.
If you end up in an argument with her, shout out “mom always loved you better!” Then set her couch on fire.
Don’t move in with her. Instead, move into the apartment above hers, and watch her through tiny holes drilled in the floor.
When at her place, eat her cat, torture her TV, and replace her toilet with a sack of potatoes. Act like Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice, including the accent.
Go forth, my young apprentices, and score like never before!
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>Nothing turns me on like cat..torturing. (???)If you wrote a dating advice book I would totally buy it.
>I think Roisy is confusing "Cheap and Easy Ways to Raise the Value of Your Girl" with "How to get the other person to dump you".
>Tears of laughter, Dave! Tears! I salute you, sir.
>You need to teach a class. Seriously. So much money.Just come up with a stupid name (I suggest Boobzman) and you're pretty much there. I think I would go out with a guy who followed your method, if only for the butter-musing. Mmmm, butter. We've had some good times, butter and I. Also, I'd like to be called Stingo. It could be our "thing."
>I wonder how successful the adherents of Roissy's system actually are. They certainly claim to be, but I can't imagine anyone being willing to be treated like crap like this for any period of time.
>If I had to dump a guy, I'd rather it be one following Dave's advice than Roissy's. Roissy's advice is just standard jerk-boyfriend. Dave's leaves you with a story.Might I recommend replacing the banana with a cored-out pumpkin? Longer shelf life than a banana peel, easier to keep on the head, and an infinitely sexier scent. Plus, bananas have ethical concerns attached to their production, much like diamonds.
>Anyone who harms my pets gets a visit from the sheriff's office. The other stuff is why I do not date. Ugh.
>I would have to say, if a guy didn't call me back or if he canceled dates with me, I would – as would any polite person – assume that he didn't have an interest in me. And I also wonder how successful that approach really is. I can't see where it would be.And I'm so going to poke random people on the nose and say "Hitler was right about you", in the most adorable and grandmotherly way I can. Maybe I'll even say it when pinching their cheek.
>There are so many things wrong with his advice but the part about never laughing at her jokes? Seriously, if someone's an arse like that I can't see anyone staying attracted to them. And like others, the part about [even mildly] "torturing" my cat = get the FUCK out; I don't want to hear from you ever again.
>Cruelty to animals is generally a predictor of… god, I can't remember what. Help me out. Oh yeah, now I remember: Getting laid! Wait.. that's not it… sheesh, my memory sucks these days.
>Never laugh at her jokes. Instead, fall to the floor and begin singing "Rock Me Amadeus." Okay, I really did lol.
>Johnny-combine it with bedwetting and you got yourself two strong indicators of serial killing.
>And I'm so going to poke random people on the nose and say "Hitler was right about you", in the most adorable and grandmotherly way I can.It's such a spectacularly wicked idea. I am in awe of the brazen display of asshattery.
>bedwetting is a total pussy magnet.
>Actually, the whole list is funny, and a few things- like the banana- would actually work with a quirky girl or even in anotherwise staid relationship. Women in general LOVE humor in men.And geez, guys, obviously Dave didn't mean to REALLY torture a cat. Some of his list is so over the top that it would more likely cause the lady to think you're a nutty creep than attract her to you. But actually, some of this stuff works because it's funny and unexpected and people SHOULD play with each other like this more often.Roissy has his points too, but if you act like a jerk all the time that will get old quick. Then again, Roissy never claims to be about building "relationships" though he claims to value them. He's mostly an "intrigue her with the dark triad, get in her panties and get out" type of guy.
>Which begs the question if some woman came up to Roissy and said "I literally want only one instance of sex. Please refrain from contacting me again afterward" would he get upset?
>Elizabeth:Almost certainly not. He's not looking for any girl to get her "hooks" into him, and while he'll say sluts are damaged all day long, he will still admit they are the type of girls that keep him rolling in the poon, he just doesn't want to marry them, or ANYONE for that matter. Guy's like 45 and childless and doesn't want a kid. Like a lot of the more radical fems, radical male "ghosts" , and silly women who "wait too long" he won't be leaving his genes to the next generation.
>My boss (I work at a call centre) is actually a disciple of this guy (or was, before he converted to Islam) and used to teach a pick-up class himself. He told me about the tactics he taught and a lot of them actually made sense if you were just trying to get with a girl, not have a relationship with her.
>He told me about the tactics he taught and a lot of them actually made sense if you were just trying to get with a girl, not have a relationship with her. They're particularly helpful if you get off on having sex with women who have low self-esteem and are desperate for validation. Even more so if you view sex as a form of conquest and automatically think of every woman who sleeps with you as a slut. So it's great for misogynists is what I'm saying.
>Women sure do hate arrogant and aloof men. That's why no woman on the face of the earth fantasizes about the likes of Mr. Big, Mr. Darcy, and Rhett Butler.
>Women sure do hate arrogant and aloof men. That's why no woman on the face of the earth fantasizes about the likes of Mr. Big, Mr. Darcy, and Rhett Butler. The point is that women are individuals who want different things. That's one reason these lists of rules that will supposedly work on any woman are ridiculous (that and the sexism).Certainly there are some women these rules will work on. Not generally the kind I'd want to date, but that's me.
>Another important point is that, if a man is aloof and a little arrogant, but sincere and genuinely not misogynist, there's nothing wrong with that.But many of the lists of "rules," including the one David is mocking, are basically guides on being a manipulative and abusive boyfriend. And the people writing this list justify it because they believe women are all manipulative and abusive, so the end result is they're trying to make relationships into an antagonistic, zero-sum conflict. And then they wonder why they keep getting screwed in relationships.
>It's one thing to be aloof and arrogant.It's another thing to be kind of whiny and insecure, and then attempt to mask these traits through a series of bizarre behaviors.Funny thing, I've been accused of being aloof and arrogant, and I've never taken it as a compliment.
>everything he suggests would be something that would make me dump any guy I dated. So if the PUA's goal is to have the opposite effect of what we are all thinking it is then it is working. Otherwise I think YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
>This is one thing that is insane with guys like Roissy, he gives advice to have one-night-stand with women that have psychological problems. And yet, he and his admirers believe that he's an expert in the way to find (and to keep) a girlfriend.